Jokes
Jackass
This one is long but well worth reading!In case your frustration level rises today, this is for everyone
Teacher and Student
The class was very noisy just now because there wasn't any teacher, but now everyone suddenly turned
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him
5 For A Dollar
A woman walks into a drug store to buy tampons. She notices a group of tampons stacked on a table in
KIDS IN GRADE SCHOOL THINK FAST
TEACHER: Why are you late?WEBSTER: Because of the sign.TEACHER: What sign?WEBSTER: The one that says,
Blonde haircut
A Blonde goes to a barber and asks for a haircut.
Zoltrog Jokes
1. How many trarlokks does it take to trokkclap
Top 10 reasons to like Hanukkah
10. No roof damage from reindeer 9. Never a silent
Little Johnny's Question
A teacher asks her class, ââ,¬Å"If there
Stained
A blonde goes into a laundry mat and asks to have
I scream for ice cream
A blonde walks into an ice cream shop and asks
What A Woman/Man Really Means
What a woman says, what she really means... I
Penis Requests a Raise
I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary
Capitalism for Dummies
Traditional Capitalism: You have two cows. You
Assembly Required
A gynecologist tired of his profession, and wanting
We take you now to the Oval Office
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening? Condi:
50 Ways To Annoy Osama bin Laden...
Fifty Ways To Annoy Osama bin Laden If You're Invited
51 Ways to Annoy Everybody
1) Pretend to be one of the Bush family. Doesn't
Relieving Stress in Class
1. Leave permanent markers by the dry-erase board. 2.
College Entrance Exam: For Football Players
You Must Answer Two (2) or More Questions Correctly
Forest Gump
A blonde dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates,
Chicken Engineering at Its Finest
In a recent issue of Meat & Poultry magazine, editors
A Lesson in Church
A man and his wife were sitting in church, the
Smack-a-Ho
[NOTE: This joke must be told out loud to someone
Through the Desert On a Man With No Ears
A man was in a bad accident and was injured. But
Sunday School Daze
Mary can't stand Sunday school, but her brother
The Teacher, the Thief & the Lawyer
A teacher, a thief and a lawyer all die in the
Rating Your Christmas Party
If you throw a party, the worst thing you can do
The Jackass Story
This Story is true!!! For all of you who occasionally
We're Studying Hard
Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study
Helisoft
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when
And God Created A Sleeping Man
A couple went to church every week, but every
Spell L-O-V-E
A man came in to heaven and God wanted to go on
The Answer
Teacher to student: Arnold what is the most popular
The Middle Man
A woman walks in to a tattoo parlor and tells the
The Definition of
A first-grade teacher asks her students to give
Material Safety Data Sheet
Element: Woman Symbol: Wo Discoverer: Adam
The Native American Clock
One day, there was a cowboy riding a horse in the
Saint Patrick's Day Bar Troubleshooting
SYMPTOM: Drinking fails to give taste and satisfaction,
Meeting the Irish Ma
A young Irish lad had fallen in love with a girl
Nerd Sayings Galore
1. Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
Mental Institution
Jon and Dan were in a mental institution. This
The Funky Parrot
A woman had a parrot that she took with her everywhere
I Like Your Thinking
A teacher asks her class, "If there are five birds
Getting Weighed
Joe took his blind date to the carnival. "What
Not What The Doctor Ordered
A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist.
Little Johnny Answers the Question
Teacher: "Four crows are on the fence. The
The Geneology of Mr. Jack Schitt
The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are
Bio-Optic Organized Knowledge Device
BOOK is a revolutionary breakthrough in
Year 2000 Interview With Jesus
Due to widespread panic about the Y2K bug, Internet
Tampon Shopping
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and
Childhood Of Yore
I want to be a kid again. I want to go back to
Little Johnny's Big Answer
It is near the end of the school year. The
Engineer vs. Manager
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes
The Businessman's Medical Problem
A businessman returns from the far east. After
Have Yourself a PC Little Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas
Women's English
"Yes" = No "No" = Yes "Maybe"
Professor of Logic
A guy sees his new neighbor out in his backyard,
Ethical Dilemma
You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and
Intelligence Test
1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator,
I Guess It Works
A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older
The 5 Questions Most Feared By Men
1. What are you thinking about? 2. Do you love me? 3. Do I look fat in this? 4. Do you think
Trial
"So let me get this straight," the prosecutor says to the defendant, "you came home from work early
Who's on first - Bush style
(We take you now to the Oval Office.) George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening? Condi:
Play a Game
One day little Johnny went to school. His teacher said they were going to play a game. She would place
Million Dollar Question
A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the
Who Wants to be a Millionaire
A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the
Murphy's Technology Laws
You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track. Logic is a systematic method
Scrap Yard
A company had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Management said, "Someone might steal from
Application for a Night Out with the Boys
Name of Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband: I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest
Smart Business Man
A gas station in Mississippi was trying to increase its sales, so the owner put up a sign saying, "Free
Golf Tragedy
Verne was teeing off from the men's tee. On his downswing, he realized that his wife, Lucrecia, was
Country Doctors
A young doctor had moved out to a small rural community to replace the retiring country doctor. The
Most Famous Person
One day, a kindergarten teacher said to the class of 5-year-olds, "I'll give $2 to the child who can
Politically Correct
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: 1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is
Engineering Position
Bubba applied for an engineering position at a Lake Charles refinery. A Yankee applied for the same
Who's On First for the Next Generation!
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening? Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the
Notice Of Revocation Of U.S. Independence
To the citizens of the United States of America: In the light of your failure to elect a competent
Once Upon a Time
Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said
I Like Your Thinking
A teacher asks her class, ''If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how
Question for the Class
One day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday, she will
The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
1. Good: Your wife is pregnant. Bad: It's triplets. Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago. 2.
Beer Troubleshooting Chart
SYMPTOM - Feet cold and wet. SOLUTION - Glass being held at incorrect angle. Rotate glass so that
Little Johnny on Math
A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how
Anger Management
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take
Farm Animal Sounds
A primary school teacher decided to see how many of the city kids knew what sounds farm animals made.
Moral/Ethical Dilemma
You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop, and you see
Application for Dating My Daughter
NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial
Lost Helicopter
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all
Boys will be Boys
OK, I'm the only female in a house full of guys. 4 sons and a hubby. Toilet seat is never down...etc. SOOOOoooooooooo
Definitely
Teacher asked her class to use 'definitely' in a sentence. Jane raised her hand and said, "The sky
Riding the Bus
A lady was standing on a street corner waiting for a bus when she happened to notice a weight machine.
IT vs. Sales
A man is flying a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces his height and spots a man below.
Shopping for Tampons
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The salesgirl notices him and asks
Maintenance Complaints
Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual
The Amazon Parrot
When Uncle Charlie died of old age, Bill was bequeathed his uncle's prized Amazon parrot. This parrot
Girl in Sunday School
There was a girl who went to sunday school and always fell asleep. One day the teacher asked and pointed
Blonde Boater - True Story
Blonde Boater A True Story Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an
Tragedy
President George W. Bush is visiting an elementary school today and he visits one of the 4th
Class Motivation
One Friday morning, a teacher came up with a novel way to motivate her class. She told them that she
Gynecology and Mechanics
A gynecologist who had lost interest in his medical practice decided to change careers and enrolled
Smart Johnny
One day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday, she will
FAA Test
The FAA has a device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. They point this thing at
Job Test Cheater
Two young engineers applied for a single position at a computer company. They both had the same
Blatant Racial Discrimination
A first grade class comes in from recess. Teacher asks Alice: "What did you do at recess?" Alice
Hot Air Baloon
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down
In Thick Fog
There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives
Blonde Dyes to Brown
Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed
The Rude Parrot
David received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse
HIS and HERS ATM
HIS: 1. Pull up to ATM 2. Insert card 3. Enter PIN number and account 4. Take cash, card and