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Condom

A man was in a long line at Target. As he got to the register he realized he had forgotten to get condoms,

Natchitoches

Two tourists were traveling through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing

High Birth Rate

A little town had a high birth rate that had attracted the attention of the sociologists at the state

Snow in June

A big-rig operator stopped to pick up a female hitchhiker wearing REALLY short shorts."Say, what's your

Viagra and Ben Gay

A guy walks into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist, "Listen, I have three girls coming over tonight.

Three Worst Chinese Torture

A man is out in the Chinese wilderness and he's hopelessly lost. It's been nearly three weeks since he's

Which Feels Better

A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoys sex more. The man

CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him

Bra

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's.He shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter

Sex Chinese Style

A Chinese man arranged for a hooker to come to his room for the evening. Once in the room they undressed,

Avoiding Collision

This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities

Pee

This is really embarrassing for the mother, do read on.This is a Singapore story (supposedly)... Hilarious!

Man vs Woman

RelationshipsWhen a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and

Coffee, No Cream

A man walks into a coffee shop and places his order. "I'd

Zoltrog Jokes

1. How many trarlokks does it take to trokkclap

Three Tickets

There were three priests in a railroad station,

Healthier Menus

A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads

Duck Tales

A duck walks into a bar and asks the bar tender,

How many lawyers does it take to change a...

How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? ââ,¬Å"Such

There was this redneck that walked into a ...

There was this redneck that walked into a bar and

A Blonde Goes to the Library?

Once a blonde went to the library to get a book.

Stinkin' Proof

One day, an old lady went to the store to get some

Takeout Small Talk

A man goes to a restaurant, orders some takeout,

English Rugby

The England team's training session was delayed

Supermarket Mother

A young man was walking through a supermarket to

Bush & the Blackboard

George W. Bush was giving a third-grader a lesson

Stoner Shopping Trip

A stoner walks into a gas station and asks the

The Lucky Salesman

A woman goes into a adult toy shop to buy a dildo.

Secrets of a Successful Date

Before you leave your house... 1. Put on a little

The Fence

A man strolls into a pharmacy and asks the assistant

Pizza, Pizza

A guy ordered a pizza, and Luigi behind the counter

Sperm Counting

There was this guy that went to the doctor to get

The Brass Rat

A man walked into a curio store and was shopping

Star Wars -vs- Star Trek

12. In the Star Wars universe, weapons are rarely,

Smartass Record Shop

A lady walks into the local record store. "Do

Grizzly Bear Warning

The Alaska Department of Fish and Game recently

Sexual Hair-assment

This lady walks into her boss's office one day

Social Security

An old man went to the social security office to

Ally McBeal -vs- counterfeit $

What's the difference between Ally McBeal and a

Out of T.P.

A sexy lady in a bar walks up to the counter and

Blind Wal-Mart Fishing Advice

A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel.

At the Pharmacy

Woman: Can I get Viagra here? Pharmacist: Yes.

The Lady and the Facelift

A 47 year-old lady gets a facelift. It turns out

Door Hinge

A couple just got a new house. The husband turned

Lunch Anyone?

A little old lady sits at the luncheonette counter

Blondes Love Puzzles

There was this bartender & he was working at the

Parrot Talk

One day a guy walked into a pet store to buy a

50 Things to Do in a Mall

1. Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out

Good Samaritan

Bob walks into a public bathroom and notices a

Lawyers and Lightbulbs, Case #3

How many lawyers does it take to change a light

Tough Love

A dying man smells his favorite oatmeal raisin

Prison Carpenter

Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison.

Applying For Social Security

A retired gentleman went to apply for Social Security.

Virgin Aussie

A beautiful middle aged woman finally decided to

The Blonde's Special Order

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde went to an ice

Question Marks

Q: What do you call counterfeited German currency?

Things Found Only In America

1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your

Gold Coins

This is actually a true story that happened to

Holiday in Ibiza

A man wanted to go on holiday in Ibiza because

Blonde in Natchitoches

Two tourists were traveling through Louisiana.

The Misprinted Money Melee

This crook mistakenly made a counterfeit $8 bill

Hungry Monkey

A man and his monkey walk into a bar. The man walks

USS Lincoln

Transcript of the actual radio conversation of

Silly Boy

A little kid walks into a movie theater one day.

Nasty Cashiers

A guy in a supermarket goes up to the cashier and

Women's Useless Things

Belts. Women use belts an an accessory, guys use

If _____ Made Toasters

If Oracle made toasters... They'd claim their

Louisiana Tourist Attraction

Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As

Bar: Three Tests

A new guy in town walks into a bar and notices

Amish Woman Driver

An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her

Blonde...Infant Scale

At a pharmacy, a blonde asked to use the infant

Stupid, Stupid People

      AT&T fired President John

Man Quiz -- Are You Trained?

   As you grow older, what lost

Wise Old Man

A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest

Airline A-Hole

During a busy pre-Christmas day at Sydney airport,

Are You Ready for Children?

Are you considering having children? To determine

More True-Life Accounts of Stupidity

Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up?! AT&T

Wacky News of the World

But Doctor, You HAVE To! In Turkey, Mehmet Esirgen, 52,

Valentine's Day Card Shopping

A woman went to the mall to buy Valentine's Day

Tampon Shopping

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and

How To Sell Lawnmowers

    A young man just got a new job

Seasick

Mr. Johnson had been retired for a year when his

Contraceptives '98

Microsoft's Latest Venture    

Erin Go Bra Shopping

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's,

Historical Origin of The "Finger"

This is not meant to be crude. It is strictly for

Goverment Wrestling Federation

    13> Driving your fellow Congressman

Extra Strength Viagra

Crazy Mike the Biker walks into a pharmacy and

Social Security Office

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind

Ammunition

An infantry brigade was training in the summer heat, learning methods to counter offensive tactics.

Traffic Violations

An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop. "Ma'am,

Tampons

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the

Three Envelopes

A new manager spends a week at his new office with the manager he is replacing. On the last day

Strangers

I was trying to get my seventh-grade history class to understand how the Indians must have felt when

Quote of the Day

Woman's Quote of the Day: "Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our

Tourists

Three tourists were driving through Wales. As they were approaching Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch,

What a Woman Really Wants

King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could

Fabric Counter

Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy this material

Valentines Day

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically

Tampax

Two young boys walk into a pharmacy one day, pick out a box of Tampax and proceed to the checkout counter.

American Justice

This is a true account recorded in the incident log of Jasper Cty, SC Sheriff's Office. An elderly

Kiss

Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy this material

A Matter of Religious Preference

A guy walks into an adult store and asks for an inflatable doll. Guy behind the counter says, "Male

Amish Lady

An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop.

Training Exercise

During training exercises, the lieutenant driving down a muddy back road encountered another car stuck

Bear Alert

In light of the rising frequency of human - grizzly bear conflicts, the Alaska Department of Fish

Laws of the Natural Universe

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch

New Immigrant

A Somali arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant to the United States. He stops the first person

Nativity Scene

In a small Southern town there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed great skill and talent had gone

Anthrax Scare

Green Bay, WI Monday, October 31, 2005 - Anthrax Scare At Lambeau Field Green Bay Packer football

Walgreens

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Florida, are all excited about their decision to get

Definitions

Arbitrator ar'-bi-tray-ter: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's. Avoidable uh-voy'-duh-buhl:

Psychiatry and Proctology

Two doctors opened offices in a small town and put up a sign reading, "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Psychiatry

Checkout Counter

A man standing in line at a check out counter of a grocery store was very surprised when a very

Snake Model

Differential Theory of US Armed Forces (Snake Model) upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operations

Moses at the Airport

Recently while going through an airport during one of his many trips, President Bush encountered a

Upper Management

An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other. He says

Watch Those Senior Citizens

This is a true story.. An elderly Florida lady did her shopping, and upon returning to her car,

Fly is Open

A man comes up to the cashier and she notices that his fly was open. She looks at him and says, "Your

Train Station

Three priests were in a train station on their way home to Pittsburgh. Behind the ticket counter

Bar Room Ballerina

A large woman wearing a sleeveless sun dress walked into a pub in England. She raised her right arm

Just passing on this warning.....

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs to be alert and stay cautious

Savings

A small tourist hotel was all abuzz about an afternoon wedding where the groom was 95 years old and

Donald Duck and Daisy

Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room. Donald wanted to have

The answer is C

This is a test for men only and all "real men" will answer "C" to all of these questions. However,

Customer Service

A customer service award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for being so clever

Getting Married

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go

Walking through chinatown

Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and

Social Security

A retired gentleman went to the social security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind

Contraceptive98

News just in of Microsoft's latest venture: Microsoft Corporation has taken another step toward dominating

Travel Advisory

The Wisconsin State Dept of Fish and Wildlife is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen and golfers

Perfectly Good Aircraft

The Army Airborne major was used to harassment from Air Force fliers about crazy Army paratroopers

Type of Bras

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, and walked up to the woman behind the counter

Stuttering Dilemma

A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and asks, "W-w-w-where's

Miracle Pills

Two 80 year old men sat talking over the weather and the latest in medical science, and such, when

Register 5

A man was in a long line at the grocery store. As he got to the register he realized he had forgotten

Shopping for Tampons

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The salesgirl notices him and asks

The Vibrator

As a mother passed her daughter's closed bedroom door,she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from

Snatch Eating Frogs

This woman goes to a pet store to purchase some dog food. She puts the bag of food up on the counter

Radio Conversation

This is the transcript of an ACTUAL radio conversation between a US naval ship and Canadian authorities

Valentine Card

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically

Being Followed

A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady

Dilbert Quotes Contest

A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes

Doin't Talk to the Parrot

Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working. He couldn't accommodate her

Carjacking

An elderly lady finished her shopping and, upon return to the parking lot, found four men in her car.

Orders Up

A young man at his first job as a waiter in a diner has a large trucker sit down at the counter and

Lawyer's Revenge

A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for the local butcher shop and steals a roast off

Slow Reader

A blonde and a brunette are running a ranch together in Louisiana. They decide they need a bull to

The Centipede

A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything. The