Jokes
Condom
A man was in a long line at Target. As he got to the register he realized he had forgotten to get condoms,
Natchitoches
Two tourists were traveling through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing
High Birth Rate
A little town had a high birth rate that had attracted the attention of the sociologists at the state
Snow in June
A big-rig operator stopped to pick up a female hitchhiker wearing REALLY short shorts."Say, what's your
Viagra and Ben Gay
A guy walks into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist, "Listen, I have three girls coming over tonight.
Three Worst Chinese Torture
A man is out in the Chinese wilderness and he's hopelessly lost. It's been nearly three weeks since he's
Which Feels Better
A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoys sex more. The man
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him
Bra
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's.He shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter
Sex Chinese Style
A Chinese man arranged for a hooker to come to his room for the evening. Once in the room they undressed,
Avoiding Collision
This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities
Pee
This is really embarrassing for the mother, do read on.This is a Singapore story (supposedly)... Hilarious!
Man vs Woman
RelationshipsWhen a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and
Coffee, No Cream
A man walks into a coffee shop and places his order. "I'd
Zoltrog Jokes
1. How many trarlokks does it take to trokkclap
Three Tickets
There were three priests in a railroad station,
Healthier Menus
A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads
Duck Tales
A duck walks into a bar and asks the bar tender,
How many lawyers does it take to change a...
How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? ââ,¬Å"Such
There was this redneck that walked into a ...
There was this redneck that walked into a bar and
A Blonde Goes to the Library?
Once a blonde went to the library to get a book.
Stinkin' Proof
One day, an old lady went to the store to get some
Takeout Small Talk
A man goes to a restaurant, orders some takeout,
English Rugby
The England team's training session was delayed
Supermarket Mother
A young man was walking through a supermarket to
Bush & the Blackboard
George W. Bush was giving a third-grader a lesson
Stoner Shopping Trip
A stoner walks into a gas station and asks the
The Lucky Salesman
A woman goes into a adult toy shop to buy a dildo.
Secrets of a Successful Date
Before you leave your house... 1. Put on a little
The Fence
A man strolls into a pharmacy and asks the assistant
Pizza, Pizza
A guy ordered a pizza, and Luigi behind the counter
Sperm Counting
There was this guy that went to the doctor to get
The Brass Rat
A man walked into a curio store and was shopping
Star Wars -vs- Star Trek
12. In the Star Wars universe, weapons are rarely,
Smartass Record Shop
A lady walks into the local record store. "Do
Grizzly Bear Warning
The Alaska Department of Fish and Game recently
Sexual Hair-assment
This lady walks into her boss's office one day
Social Security
An old man went to the social security office to
Ally McBeal -vs- counterfeit $
What's the difference between Ally McBeal and a
Out of T.P.
A sexy lady in a bar walks up to the counter and
Blind Wal-Mart Fishing Advice
A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel.
At the Pharmacy
Woman: Can I get Viagra here? Pharmacist: Yes.
The Lady and the Facelift
A 47 year-old lady gets a facelift. It turns out
Door Hinge
A couple just got a new house. The husband turned
Lunch Anyone?
A little old lady sits at the luncheonette counter
Blondes Love Puzzles
There was this bartender & he was working at the
Parrot Talk
One day a guy walked into a pet store to buy a
50 Things to Do in a Mall
1. Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out
Good Samaritan
Bob walks into a public bathroom and notices a
Lawyers and Lightbulbs, Case #3
How many lawyers does it take to change a light
Tough Love
A dying man smells his favorite oatmeal raisin
Prison Carpenter
Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison.
Applying For Social Security
A retired gentleman went to apply for Social Security.
Virgin Aussie
A beautiful middle aged woman finally decided to
The Blonde's Special Order
A brunette, a redhead and a blonde went to an ice
Question Marks
Q: What do you call counterfeited German currency?
Things Found Only In America
1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your
Gold Coins
This is actually a true story that happened to
Holiday in Ibiza
A man wanted to go on holiday in Ibiza because
Blonde in Natchitoches
Two tourists were traveling through Louisiana.
The Misprinted Money Melee
This crook mistakenly made a counterfeit $8 bill
Hungry Monkey
A man and his monkey walk into a bar. The man walks
USS Lincoln
Transcript of the actual radio conversation of
Silly Boy
A little kid walks into a movie theater one day.
Nasty Cashiers
A guy in a supermarket goes up to the cashier and
Women's Useless Things
Belts. Women use belts an an accessory, guys use
If _____ Made Toasters
If Oracle made toasters... They'd claim their
Louisiana Tourist Attraction
Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As
Bar: Three Tests
A new guy in town walks into a bar and notices
Amish Woman Driver
An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her
Blonde...Infant Scale
At a pharmacy, a blonde asked to use the infant
Stupid, Stupid People
AT&T fired President John
Man Quiz -- Are You Trained?
As you grow older, what lost
Wise Old Man
A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest
Airline A-Hole
During a busy pre-Christmas day at Sydney airport,
Are You Ready for Children?
Are you considering having children? To determine
More True-Life Accounts of Stupidity
Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up?! AT&T
Wacky News of the World
But Doctor, You HAVE To! In Turkey, Mehmet Esirgen, 52,
Valentine's Day Card Shopping
A woman went to the mall to buy Valentine's Day
Tampon Shopping
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and
How To Sell Lawnmowers
A young man just got a new job
Seasick
Mr. Johnson had been retired for a year when his
Contraceptives '98
Microsoft's Latest Venture
Erin Go Bra Shopping
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's,
Historical Origin of The "Finger"
This is not meant to be crude. It is strictly for
Goverment Wrestling Federation
13> Driving your fellow Congressman
Extra Strength Viagra
Crazy Mike the Biker walks into a pharmacy and
Social Security Office
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind
Ammunition
An infantry brigade was training in the summer heat, learning methods to counter offensive tactics.
Traffic Violations
An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop. "Ma'am,
Tampons
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the
Three Envelopes
A new manager spends a week at his new office with the manager he is replacing. On the last day
Strangers
I was trying to get my seventh-grade history class to understand how the Indians must have felt when
Quote of the Day
Woman's Quote of the Day: "Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our
Tourists
Three tourists were driving through Wales. As they were approaching Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch,
What a Woman Really Wants
King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could
Fabric Counter
Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy this material
Valentines Day
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically
Tampax
Two young boys walk into a pharmacy one day, pick out a box of Tampax and proceed to the checkout counter.
American Justice
This is a true account recorded in the incident log of Jasper Cty, SC Sheriff's Office. An elderly
Kiss
Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy this material
A Matter of Religious Preference
A guy walks into an adult store and asks for an inflatable doll. Guy behind the counter says, "Male
Amish Lady
An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop.
Training Exercise
During training exercises, the lieutenant driving down a muddy back road encountered another car stuck
Bear Alert
In light of the rising frequency of human - grizzly bear conflicts, the Alaska Department of Fish
Laws of the Natural Universe
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch
New Immigrant
A Somali arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant to the United States. He stops the first person
Nativity Scene
In a small Southern town there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed great skill and talent had gone
Anthrax Scare
Green Bay, WI Monday, October 31, 2005 - Anthrax Scare At Lambeau Field Green Bay Packer football
Walgreens
Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Florida, are all excited about their decision to get
Definitions
Arbitrator ar'-bi-tray-ter: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's. Avoidable uh-voy'-duh-buhl:
Psychiatry and Proctology
Two doctors opened offices in a small town and put up a sign reading, "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Psychiatry
Checkout Counter
A man standing in line at a check out counter of a grocery store was very surprised when a very
Snake Model
Differential Theory of US Armed Forces (Snake Model) upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operations
Moses at the Airport
Recently while going through an airport during one of his many trips, President Bush encountered a
Upper Management
An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other. He says
Watch Those Senior Citizens
This is a true story.. An elderly Florida lady did her shopping, and upon returning to her car,
Fly is Open
A man comes up to the cashier and she notices that his fly was open. She looks at him and says, "Your
Train Station
Three priests were in a train station on their way home to Pittsburgh. Behind the ticket counter
Bar Room Ballerina
A large woman wearing a sleeveless sun dress walked into a pub in England. She raised her right arm
Just passing on this warning.....
Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs to be alert and stay cautious
Savings
A small tourist hotel was all abuzz about an afternoon wedding where the groom was 95 years old and
Donald Duck and Daisy
Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room. Donald wanted to have
The answer is C
This is a test for men only and all "real men" will answer "C" to all of these questions. However,
Customer Service
A customer service award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for being so clever
Getting Married
Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go
Walking through chinatown
Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and
Social Security
A retired gentleman went to the social security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind
Contraceptive98
News just in of Microsoft's latest venture: Microsoft Corporation has taken another step toward dominating
Travel Advisory
The Wisconsin State Dept of Fish and Wildlife is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen and golfers
Perfectly Good Aircraft
The Army Airborne major was used to harassment from Air Force fliers about crazy Army paratroopers
Type of Bras
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, and walked up to the woman behind the counter
Stuttering Dilemma
A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and asks, "W-w-w-where's
Miracle Pills
Two 80 year old men sat talking over the weather and the latest in medical science, and such, when
Register 5
A man was in a long line at the grocery store. As he got to the register he realized he had forgotten
Shopping for Tampons
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The salesgirl notices him and asks
The Vibrator
As a mother passed her daughter's closed bedroom door,she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from
Snatch Eating Frogs
This woman goes to a pet store to purchase some dog food. She puts the bag of food up on the counter
Radio Conversation
This is the transcript of an ACTUAL radio conversation between a US naval ship and Canadian authorities
Valentine Card
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically
Being Followed
A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady
Dilbert Quotes Contest
A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes
Doin't Talk to the Parrot
Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working. He couldn't accommodate her
Carjacking
An elderly lady finished her shopping and, upon return to the parking lot, found four men in her car.
Orders Up
A young man at his first job as a waiter in a diner has a large trucker sit down at the counter and
Lawyer's Revenge
A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for the local butcher shop and steals a roast off
Slow Reader
A blonde and a brunette are running a ranch together in Louisiana. They decide they need a bull to
The Centipede
A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything. The