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Jokes

A Criminal Lawyer

Robinson was notorious for finding the little loopholes that won him acquittals even in the most difficult

Custody

An old man and his young wife were getting divorce at a local court. But the custody of children posed

Farmer Joe

Farmer Joe was suing a trucking company for injuries sustained in an accident. In court, the company's

When Shit Hits the Fan

A guy dies and goes to heaven. His tour guide starts

Words Of Wisdom, Graduates!

FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS, CLASS OF 2003! First of all

Celebrity Sayings

Angelina Jolie: I am so in love with my brother

Mini Meanie

The golf course was haunted by a malicious, evil

Shark Attack

Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Professional

Snail Shanghai

A snail is walking down the road, when all of a

Yo daddy's so dumb... court

Yo daddy is so dumb that he went to court and

George W. Bush Quotes

All quotes 100% authentic, and courtesey of George

You mama's so stupid... tripped

Your mama's so stupid she tripped over a line on

Farmer Joe and his Mule

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent

If I Had A Hammer

A man is in court for murder and the judge says,

Pumpkin Pumper Pumped For Info

Police arrested Joe Bloggs, a 27-year old white

Gross Basketball

Q: Why is basketball the grossest sport there is?

Basketball Chicken

Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?

Three Types of Sex

There are three types of sex in a marriage. The

Yo mama's so stupid... order

Yo mama is so stupid, that when they said, “Order

The Devil's Lawsuit

There was a contruction worker who was working

Aggies R Dum

There was an Aggie, a Longhorn, and a Bug Eater.

Rooster Plays B-ball

Why did the rooster cross the basketball court?

Disney Divorce Court

Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were in divorce court.

Escape from the Institution

Two guys are in mental instituition. One guy

It's Open Lawyer Season!

WASHINGTON STATE ATTORNEY SEASON AND BAG LIMITS

Sharks and Lawyers

Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Professional

Getting Down Under

An American woman of 40 wants to get married, but

Beverly Hillbilly Bobbitt

(Sing to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies)

Mario LeMieux and Courtney Love

What do Mario LeMieux and Courtney Love have in

Smokin' Dope

Two guys get busted for smoking dope, so they have

Pregnant Woman Gets On a Bus

This is from an actual trial in the UK.    

True [Stupid] Crime Stories

A Denton, Texas man was arrested for filing a false

This Is Your ____ On Drugs

Ã, Ã, Ã,  Two young guys were picked up

West Virginia Custody Battle

The scene was a tiny mountain village in a remote

The Judge

A judge asks a defendant to please stand. "You

Childhood Of Yore

I want to be a kid again. I want to go back to

Bubble Blowing Duckies

    Three ducks were swimming in

Historical Origin of The "Finger"

This is not meant to be crude. It is strictly for

Pumpkin Lover

Police arrested Malcolm Davidson, a 27 year-old white male resident of Wilmington, NC, in a pumpkin

The Pregnant Woman

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her.

Farmer Joe's Favorite Mule

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company,

Ten Commandments

The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this: You cannot

New Bar in Town

In a small mid western conservative town, a new bar/tavern started a building to open up their business.

Lawyer Hunting

Rules for hunting lawyers Washington state attorney season and bag limits -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1300.01

What a Woman Really Wants

King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could

Big Shot Jamaican

Joe grew up in Jamaica, then moved away to attend college and law school. He decided to come back

Murphy's Lesser-Known Dictums

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. He

7 Kinds of Sex

Recent research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex: The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. This

For the Birds

I was at the mall the other day eating at the food court. I noticed an old man watching a teenager

Sad News In Washington DC

There will be no Nativity Scene in Washington, DC this year ! The Supreme Court has ruled that there

Jury Duty

As a court clerk, I am well-versed in the jury-selection process. First a computer randomly selects

Case of the Pregnant Lady

AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659---CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY A lady about 8 months pregnant got on

Marriage Problems

A man and woman were having marriage problems, and decided to end their union after a very short time

Life's Insights

1. "I got kicked out of Riverdance for using my arms." - Michael Flatley (lead Riverdancer) 2.

Snake Model

Differential Theory of US Armed Forces (Snake Model) upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operations

Headlines 2029 AD

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia formally

One Smart Old Man

An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back,

The Marine Way

As a crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a five-year-old boy who picks

Custody of the Children

A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem. The

Farmer Joe

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company

2005 Darwin Awards

[The year would not be complete without the Darwin Awards - awarded every year to the persons who

Actual Newspaper Headlines

Married Priests in Catholic Church a Long Time Coming Prosecutors Want Victim in Courtroom During

My Dog Named Sex

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has

Lawyers Are Full Of Bull

A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's

Stiff Sentence

Two guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge. The

Lawyer at the Pearly Gates

A prominent young attorney was on his way to court to begin arguments on a complex lawsuit when he

Time Tested

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as

Removing the Ten Commandments

Despite how you may have personally felt about the issue, there was a good logical reason for removing

87-year-old woman

One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her husband in bed with another woman. She

Pumpkin Patch

Police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch

King Arthur

King Arthur was in Merlin's laboratory where the great wizard was showing him his latest creation.

European Etiquette

An American tourist in London found himself needing to go to the bathroom something terrible. After

Pregnant on the Bus

A Lady about seven months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her.

The Pond

An old farmer had owned a large farm for several years and in the back forty it had a nice pond,

How to win

A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer. "If I lose

How to Poop at Work

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly

Sneaking In

A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the

Ads on a Bus

A lady about seven months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her.

Identical Twins

Dan married one of a pair of identical twin girls. Less than a year later, he was in court filing for

Billing per Hour

A prominent young attorney was on his way to court to begin arguments on a complex lawsuit when he

Child Custody

A child custody case was held in court. The judge felt that the mother and father were both fit to

Wedding Riot

A young couple got married, and in their family, it was tradition that the best man dance with the

Reasonable Doubt

A defendant was on trial for murder in Oklahoma. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there