Jokes
A Criminal Lawyer
Robinson was notorious for finding the little loopholes that won him acquittals even in the most difficult
Custody
An old man and his young wife were getting divorce at a local court. But the custody of children posed
Farmer Joe
Farmer Joe was suing a trucking company for injuries sustained in an accident. In court, the company's
When Shit Hits the Fan
A guy dies and goes to heaven. His tour guide starts
Words Of Wisdom, Graduates!
FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS, CLASS OF 2003! First of all
Celebrity Sayings
Angelina Jolie: I am so in love with my brother
Mini Meanie
The golf course was haunted by a malicious, evil
Shark Attack
Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Professional
Snail Shanghai
A snail is walking down the road, when all of a
Yo daddy's so dumb... court
Yo daddy is so dumb that he went to court and
George W. Bush Quotes
All quotes 100% authentic, and courtesey of George
You mama's so stupid... tripped
Your mama's so stupid she tripped over a line on
Farmer Joe and his Mule
Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent
If I Had A Hammer
A man is in court for murder and the judge says,
Pumpkin Pumper Pumped For Info
Police arrested Joe Bloggs, a 27-year old white
Gross Basketball
Q: Why is basketball the grossest sport there is?
Basketball Chicken
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
Three Types of Sex
There are three types of sex in a marriage. The
Yo mama's so stupid... order
Yo mama is so stupid, that when they said, Order
The Devil's Lawsuit
There was a contruction worker who was working
Aggies R Dum
There was an Aggie, a Longhorn, and a Bug Eater.
Rooster Plays B-ball
Why did the rooster cross the basketball court?
Disney Divorce Court
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were in divorce court.
Escape from the Institution
Two guys are in mental instituition. One guy
It's Open Lawyer Season!
WASHINGTON STATE ATTORNEY SEASON AND BAG LIMITS
Sharks and Lawyers
Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Professional
Getting Down Under
An American woman of 40 wants to get married, but
Beverly Hillbilly Bobbitt
(Sing to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies)
Mario LeMieux and Courtney Love
What do Mario LeMieux and Courtney Love have in
Smokin' Dope
Two guys get busted for smoking dope, so they have
Pregnant Woman Gets On a Bus
This is from an actual trial in the UK.
True [Stupid] Crime Stories
A Denton, Texas man was arrested for filing a false
This Is Your ____ On Drugs
Ã, Ã, Ã, Two young guys were picked up
West Virginia Custody Battle
The scene was a tiny mountain village in a remote
The Judge
A judge asks a defendant to please stand. "You
Childhood Of Yore
I want to be a kid again. I want to go back to
Bubble Blowing Duckies
Three ducks were swimming in
Historical Origin of The "Finger"
This is not meant to be crude. It is strictly for
Pumpkin Lover
Police arrested Malcolm Davidson, a 27 year-old white male resident of Wilmington, NC, in a pumpkin
The Pregnant Woman
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her.
Farmer Joe's Favorite Mule
Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company,
Ten Commandments
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this: You cannot
New Bar in Town
In a small mid western conservative town, a new bar/tavern started a building to open up their business.
Lawyer Hunting
Rules for hunting lawyers Washington state attorney season and bag limits -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1300.01
What a Woman Really Wants
King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could
Big Shot Jamaican
Joe grew up in Jamaica, then moved away to attend college and law school. He decided to come back
Murphy's Lesser-Known Dictums
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. He
7 Kinds of Sex
Recent research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex: The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. This
For the Birds
I was at the mall the other day eating at the food court. I noticed an old man watching a teenager
Sad News In Washington DC
There will be no Nativity Scene in Washington, DC this year ! The Supreme Court has ruled that there
Jury Duty
As a court clerk, I am well-versed in the jury-selection process. First a computer randomly selects
Case of the Pregnant Lady
AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659---CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY A lady about 8 months pregnant got on
Marriage Problems
A man and woman were having marriage problems, and decided to end their union after a very short time
Life's Insights
1. "I got kicked out of Riverdance for using my arms." - Michael Flatley (lead Riverdancer) 2.
Snake Model
Differential Theory of US Armed Forces (Snake Model) upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operations
Headlines 2029 AD
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia formally
One Smart Old Man
An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back,
The Marine Way
As a crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a five-year-old boy who picks
Custody of the Children
A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem. The
Farmer Joe
Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company
2005 Darwin Awards
[The year would not be complete without the Darwin Awards - awarded every year to the persons who
Actual Newspaper Headlines
Married Priests in Catholic Church a Long Time Coming Prosecutors Want Victim in Courtroom During
My Dog Named Sex
Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has
Lawyers Are Full Of Bull
A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's
Stiff Sentence
Two guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge. The
Lawyer at the Pearly Gates
A prominent young attorney was on his way to court to begin arguments on a complex lawsuit when he
Time Tested
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as
Removing the Ten Commandments
Despite how you may have personally felt about the issue, there was a good logical reason for removing
87-year-old woman
One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her husband in bed with another woman. She
Pumpkin Patch
Police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch
King Arthur
King Arthur was in Merlin's laboratory where the great wizard was showing him his latest creation.
European Etiquette
An American tourist in London found himself needing to go to the bathroom something terrible. After
Pregnant on the Bus
A Lady about seven months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her.
The Pond
An old farmer had owned a large farm for several years and in the back forty it had a nice pond,
How to win
A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer. "If I lose
How to Poop at Work
We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly
Sneaking In
A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the
Ads on a Bus
A lady about seven months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her.
Identical Twins
Dan married one of a pair of identical twin girls. Less than a year later, he was in court filing for
Billing per Hour
A prominent young attorney was on his way to court to begin arguments on a complex lawsuit when he
Child Custody
A child custody case was held in court. The judge felt that the mother and father were both fit to
Wedding Riot
A young couple got married, and in their family, it was tradition that the best man dance with the
Reasonable Doubt
A defendant was on trial for murder in Oklahoma. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there