cross

Enough with the Poking, Lets Just Have Sex He pokes her, she pokes him, they poke each other back

This guy and this girl have been married for about 25 years and there sex just wasent happening anymore.

A man was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lbs. due to very serious health risks. As he wondered how

In San Francisco, a man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into a local branch and wrote,

A little town had a high birth rate that had attracted the attention of the sociologists at the state

A man with a 20-inch penis went to his doctor to complain that he was unable to get any women to have

There was this case in the hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed

An Arab has spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source of water. It gets so bad that

A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the third day out the camel suddenly

A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady forty miles per hour. The wife is behind the

A man on a camel rode through miles of the sun-drenched desert searching for some sign of life. His supplies

An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action

Qn: Why is fish cunning ?Ans: cos yu pian mi fen (fish lie to bee hoon)Qn: What animal falls down the

An elderly couple were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary, so they decided to return to the little

An Arab has spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source of water. It gets so bad that

Farmer Joe was suing a trucking company for injuries sustained in an accident. In court, the company's

A man comes home from a tough day of work looking to unwind. After a relaxing dinner with his wife,

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He has two large bags over his shoulders. The guard

A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater. When the usher came by and noticed

The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of

There's this guy who's in the market for a used motorcycle. Always wanted a nice big hog. So he's shopping

Three co-workers are bored during their lunch break, so they decide to go to the roof of their building

One sunny day in 2008, an old man approached the

What do you get when you cross an egg with a sperm? An

There was this case in the hospital's Intensive

Why did the chewing gum cross the road? Because

What do you get when you cross a blue whale and

A little rabbit is running happily through the

Yo mama so cross-eyed, when she crys, tears rolled

Q: Why did the turtle cross the road? A: To get

1. Gain weight. At least 30 pounds. 2. Stop exercising.

Q: Why did the city build a graveyard across the

Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving

RANDOM AND CHEAP MARTHA STEWART JOKES What is

A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was

One day, a policeman walked by and saw a drunk

What do vampires cross the sea in? Blood Vessels

A trucker picks up a hitchhiker who climbs up in

Why did the zombie baby cross the road? To wreak

Three men had been stuck on an island for ten years. Just

Three blondes died and found themselves standing

Two hedgehogs are in the middle of the road and

Why did the zombie baby cross the road? He was

Why did the chicken cross the road? Part of a

CNN Late Breaking News! It has been reported that

Once there was a man who was peacefully driving

Saddam Hussein & his chauffeur were driving down

Osama and Saddam are walking through a desert when

What do you get when you cross a Scottish sheep

There were two bums walkin down a road. They both

EXCITABLE : Shorts half twisted around, cannot

Why did the chicken cross the road? ââ,¬Â¢

Two gorgeous blonde biologists were in the field

There was a competition to cross the English channel

A Drunken Night A guy wakes up in a drunken stupor,

One fine day in Ireland, a guy is out golfing and

What do you get when you cross a cabbagepatch doll

A blond was driving along a country road, listening

A young punk gets on a bus and sits down in directly

Backup - What you do when you run across a skunk

What do you get when you cross Bill Clinton and

Why did George Bush cross the road? Beause his

Dear Mr. Blix, Welcome to Iraq! It is so good

Knock, knock Whoââ,¬â"¢s there? Sorry,

How did Britney Spears cross the road? With a magic

Did you here about the cross-eyed teacher? She

1. ââ,¬Å"If my heart were a baked potato,

A penguin walks into a bar and asks for a sandwich

Tonto and the Lone Ranger were riding across the

A highway patrol officer was driving up a mountain

A man was nervously pacing around the waiting room

I hate aspects of this time of year. Not for its

Three guys: a Canadian, Osama bin Laden, and Uncle

Why did Osama bin Laden cross the road? He thought

What do you get when you cross a football player

Knock Knock Who's there? Yo mama. Yo mama who? Yo

Why did the Canadian cross the road? He saw some

Why did George W. Bush cross the road? To plunge

What do you get when you cross Mariah Carey and

Why did the professional baseball player cross

As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he

A GOOD ONE... enjoy. There was this case in the

Q: Why did Gary Condit cross the road? A: To make

The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions,

A squad of American soldiers was patrolling the

Why did George W. Bush cross the road? To ask

What do you get when you cross P. Diddy with Kenny

A few clues to being a true Louisianan: 1. Your

A hot babe goes into a bar and orders a 'sex on

While suturing a laceration on the hand of a 90-year-old

Bush was speaking at a High School, he was asked

George W. Bush, Clinton, and Gore were all in heaven,

A guy is walking along the strip in Las Vegas and

Why did the frog cross the road? It didn't.

Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause

And the Lord spoke to Noah: ''In six months I'm

These are excuse notes from parents (with their

Yo Mama is so fat, that if she rode her bike across

Old Mrs. Watkins awoke one spring morning to find

What do you get when you cross a bulldog and a

What did the man say to the toothpaste model after

Two friends, named Harry and George, go on a trip

One day Jesus wanted to test his disciples. So

The finals of the National Poetry Contest last

Two nuns are at a traffic light, when a man starts

A cop pulls over a car that's been swerving across

Why did the one-handed man cross the road? To

Why did the turtle Cross the road? To get

A programmer was crossing a road one day when a

All good Southerners already know these, but in

There was a man who owned a giant gorilla and he'd

Three clergymen were sitting in a boat, fishing.

One day three men were walking along and came upon

Q: Why did the chickenhead cross the road? A:

What do you get when you cross and Chinese and

Jesus and Moses are playing golf and they''re on

What do you get when you cross a fortune teller

What do you get when cross a joke with a motorcycle?

What do you get when you cross an elephant and

A blonde working in the coffin industry was thinking

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent

Q: Why did the frog cross the road? A: It didn't.

One day, President Bush visited an elementary school.

One day in class, the teacher told everyone to

Q: What do you get when you cross a giraffe with

Why'd the chicken cross the road? To show the

A group of men go up into the mountains to go bear

Why did the woman cross the road? Never mind

A farmer rears 25 young hens and one old cock.

1.Stick your palm open under the stall wall and

A man, Bob, and his friend Joe went out hunting.

What do you get when you cross a bear with a deer?

Why did the blonde cross the road? I don't

Christmas was just around the corner, and a father

A young Indian brave goes up to the Chief and says,

There was a woman who wanted to repaint her house,

An elephant was walking through the jungle one

Q: Why did the gum cross the road? A: Beacause

Barnum & Bailey was transferring the circus from

What do you get when you cross a rooster and a

There was an old lady and her dog who lived on

A blonde was driving across several states to go

Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?

A middle aged woman lived alone except for her

Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her

What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede?

A man was in the waiting room at the hospital,

Why did the blonde build a bridge across the river?

Every morning a man drives to the dock, and every

Q. What happens when you cross a Bulldog with a

Mary can't stand Sunday school, but her brother

Q: Why did the Pervert cross the road? A:

The priest and the rabbi were on a plane flying

A truck driver was driving down the highway when

1) Excitable -- Shorts half-twisted around, cannot

One day, a farmer was tending to his livestock

A blonde is on a four-engine plane crossing the

What do you get when you cross a centipede with

Two brothers went downstairs for breakfast, where

You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay

A millionaire decides to throw a massive party

Why are fire engines red? You'd be red too

Why did the chicken cross the road? Pat Buchanan

After World War II, an American soldier was going

Three guys walk into a motel and find out there

There were these two bums and they were hungry

A man walks into a bar and sits down right across

What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To

Dear Santa: You must be surprised that I am writing

Why'd the condom cross the road? He got pissed

What do you get when you cross a pickle and a

Q: What do you get when you cross a centipide with

Jesus and Moses went golfing. Jesus was about

Why did the condom fly across the room? It was

What do you get when you cross a donkey with an

Why did the rooster cross the road? Because the

What do you get when you cross a hooker with a

Why did the woman cross the road? Who knows?

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but

A couple went to church every week, but every

A penguin was driving his car down the highway

A cat and a chicken die but end up in the wrong

One day, a man was fishing on a dock across from

What do you get when you cross an atheist and a

There was a cop on his horse waiting to cross the

A man walking along the beach finds a magic lamp

What do you get when you cross a dog with a telephone?

1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island,

Why did the turkey cross the road?

One day, a man walks into a bar with an ostrich

What do you call a chicken that crosses the road

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are crossing

Things a Man Would Do if He Woke up with a Vagina 10.

A man was out of town on business. While sitting

1) How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted

Why did the chewing gum cross the road? Because

Two fellas are fishing in a boat under a bridge.

Why did the dead baby cross the street? To get

A little boy runs across this farmer who has a

Q: Why did the stoner cross the road? A: Who

A man walks into the ice cream shop with his three

Three nuns used to go to the church from their

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It was

Two guys were walking their dogs and came across

Why did the chicken cross the road? To show

Why did the rooster cross the basketball court?

What do you get when you cross an elephant and

What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus

Q: What do you get when you cross a raven with

Always take the time to smell the roses... and

What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer

A man was sprawled across three entire seats in

A fellow was ordered to lose 75 pounds, due to

Q: What do you get if you cross LSD with birth

Why'd the skeleton cross the road? To go to

There's a bunch of doctors gathered together at

Two guys are speeding through Texas when a state

Q. What do you call a dog that has balls of steel

Q: What did the snail say when it caught a ride

A blonde, brunette and a redhead had a breaststroke

Man who stick face in punchbowl get punch in nose.

Q: What do you get when you cross the Pilsbury

Two guys both have 9 a.m. appointments at a vasectomy

There was a blonde who was tired of all the blonde

Q: What do you get when you cross a dinosuar with

Two drivers came to a bridge over which only one

Q: What did the blonde say when she saw a herd

What do you get when you cross an octopus with

A guy is in a bar with a bunch of his friends.

Why did the monkey cross the road? So he could

What do you get when you cross a dog with an elephant?

What do you get when you cross a lawyer and a pig?

Why did the turkey cross the road? To get

Bob, a lawyer, was driving home over the Golden

Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with

A blonde, a brunette, and a man are driving in

Why'd the redneck cross the road? Because he

What do you get when you cross a sheep and a kangaroo?

Why did the calf cross the street? To get to

Q: What should you do if you come across an elephant?

Two 6 year old boys were attending religous school

A doctor had the reputation of helping couples

What do you get when you cross a gorilla and a

What do you get when you cross Pikachu with porn?

Why did the blonde cross the road? She was tied

What do you get when you cross a stripper with

Why did the turkey cross the road? Because

A Russian guy was walking down the street when

Once upon a time, there was a man who came home

Why did the pregnant lady cross the road? I

Q. What do you get when you cross a rooster and

Why did the one-handed man cross the road?

A little boy is walking along on a nude beach.

Why did the indecisive chicken cross the road?

SYMPTOM: Drinking fails to give taste and satisfaction,

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because

There were three preachers: a Catholic, a Baptist,

What do you get when you cross a penis & a potato?

Two rednecks are driving down the highway, drinking

What do you get when you cross a rooster with a

What do you get when you cross a donkey with an

What do you get when you cross a computer with

What do you get when you cross a rooster and an

The following are a sampling of REAL answers

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to

Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit lived in the same forest,

Why did the raccoon cross the road? He didn't,

Why did the dog cross the road? He saw some

It's a really hot day and this penguin is having

Q: What do you get if you cross a bear with a toilet? A:

An old lady sits on her front porch, rocking away

There was a Kentucky redneck and an Ohio buckeye,

You might be a redneck if there has ever been a

In a trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through

Cross my heart this happened to someone. This guy

A policeman directing traffic at a busy city intersection

A young woman with small breasts buys a finely carved

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle.

An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her

A gentleman is sitting next to the Pope on an airplane.

An engineer was crossing a road one day when a

Two engineering students were walking across campus

One day while jogging, a middle-aged man noticed

Joe was moderately successful in his career, but

A big shot businessman had to spend a couple of

One day, a bus driver is on his route, when he

Two cowboys are leanin' up against the rail at

A Denton, Texas man was arrested for filing a false

1) You define summer as three months of bad

1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted

Santa was very cross. It was Christmas Eve and

A little old lady was sitting on her front porch

    Yes, it's hard to believe, but

In a murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining

Two guys were hiking in the mountains when they

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument

Why did the chicken cross the road? KINDERGARTEN

Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he

During WW II an American soldier had been on the

Little Johnny was in church with him mom for Sunday

A young punk gets on the cross-town bus. He's got

An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me,

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken

Genuine extracts from Letters Sent to Landlords: I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle

In California Unleaded gas went to $4.00 a gallon last Thursday. Sister Mary Ann, who worked for

A mother and a baby camel were talking one day when the baby camel asked, "Mom, why do we have these

All of his life Ole had heard stories of an amazing family tradition. It seems that his father, grandfather

An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop. "Ma'am,

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator,

A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?" says the 6 year old.

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company,

The only cow in a small Kentucky town stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found

A highway patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and

Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome. One has a cross in front of him; the other

A lady is throwing a party for her granddaughter, and had gone all out..... a caterer, band, and a

Bad Metaphors from Stupid Student Essays (actually these are mostly similes, see Literary Terms) Her

A couple of rednecks went on vacation in Colorado. They flew to Denver and rented a car to sight see.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with

TWO DUCK HUNTERS FROM WISCONSIN: ABSOLUTELY A TRUE STORY HEARD ON A WISCONSIN RADIO STATION REPORTING

A guy receives an ad in the mail for a golf resort where everything costs one dollar. He jumps at the

A motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your

Two guys and a union worker were fishing on a lake one day, when Jesus walked across the water and

1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6) 2) Oysters' balls are

Recently someone was browsing through the 40th Anniversary Issue of Reader's Digest (dated Feb. 1962),

A blonde was shopping at Walmart and came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated

A little town in southern Illinois had a sensational birth rate, and scientists decided to visit the

welve priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row,

An elderly couple were driving across the country. The woman was driving when she got pulled over

A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the

An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop.

If your unfortunate enough to have to visit Yankee Country - like Boston (pronounced BAH-stin), this

An old man, a boy, and a donkey were on their way to town. The boy was riding the donkey. As they

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow?

Ok now, you and the lil missus is walkin home frum a good day of doin yur cumunity servis hours when

On a train from London to Manchester, an American was telling off the Englishman sitting across

A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the

A police officer, though scheduled for all-night duty at the station, was relieved of duty early

"An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they

Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his

Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor

I came across this exercise suggested for seniors, to build muscle strength in the arms and shoulders.

While suturing a laceration on the hand of a 90-year-old man, the doctor asked his patient how he thought

1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired. 2. What's the definition of a will? (It's

Love- When your eyes meet across a crowded room. Lust- When your tongues meet across a crowded room. Marriage-

Three explorers became lost in the jungle and wandered for days with no food and little water... One

Some friars were behind in their belfry payments, so they opened a small florist shop to raise the

All of his life George from Cape Breton had heard stories of an amazing family tradition. It seems

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: 1 October 2005 RE: Christmas

Here is a chicken recipe that also includes the use of popcorn as a stuffing - imagine that! When

Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large raging violent river. Needing to

A big shot executive had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses

In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said, "Once

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. 2. One tequila, two tequila, three

The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks an older priest to sit in on his sessions.

Mr. Smith goes to the doctor's office to get his wife's test results. The lab technician says to

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.

Two guys were walking in the woods one day, and they all of a sudden came across a bear. The bear noticed

A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the

A young Technician and his General Manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to

A Mexican family crosses the border to the Land of Milk and Honey where the streets are supposed

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company

Three blondes died and found themselves standing before St. Peter. He told them that before they could

In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the day. During that time we regret that you

The finals of the National Youth Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was a student

Two guys are walking through the woods and come across this big deep hole. "Wow...that looks deep."

One day, a shy gentleman was preparing to board a plane when he heard that the Pope was on the same

A man attempting to set up his new printer called the printer's tech Support number, complaining about

Two rednecks are driving down the highway, drinking their beer, when flashing lights from a policeman

After his death, Osama bin Laden went to heaven. There he was greeted by George Washington, who

This year, I resolve to ... 1. Gain weight. At least 30 pounds. 2. Stop exercising. Waste of time. 3.

Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad. Canadians: Are rather indignant about

On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things

Modern medicine has come up with some great new stuff to make life easier ...: St. Mom's Wort ~

1. Good: Your wife is pregnant. Bad: It's triplets. Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago. 2.

One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer.

There were two old geezers living in the backwoods of the Ozarks...Rufus and Clarence. They lived

I promise you cannot read these and not laugh out loud! These are real notes written from parents

As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: "10 lamb

A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table,

Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US government class. The professor

An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through

While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennis ball, and seeing none around it

If you recall the old Hollywood Squares show, this will bring a tear to your eyes. They are worth

There was an old man, a boy, and a donkey. They were going to town and it was decided that the boy

When NASA was preparing for the Apollo Project, it took the astronauts to a Navajo reservation in

Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as time went by, the traffic slowly built up at an

These are actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. Her face was a perfect oval,

A little girl was out with her Grandmother when they came across a couple of dogs mating on the sidewalk. "What

Jose is 17 years old and lives in Mexico. All his life he has wanted to see an American baseball game.

My Mother taught me LOGIC..."If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the store

"Sister Ann, aren't you putting on a little weight?" inquired Father Dan during his visit to the

A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice. "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step,

A man and a beautiful woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress (taking another

Two gay gentlemen were walking through a zoo. They came across the gorillas and after a while they

THE VALUE OF UNDIES-- Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle... From

Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting

A man has spent many days crossing the desert without water. His camel dies of thirst. He's crawling

The only seat available on the train was directly adjacent to a well dressed middle aged French woman

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed

A blonde was standing on the river bank looking confused when she spotted another blonde across the

This lady is giving a party for her granddaughter, and has gone all out. She had a caterer, band,

Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding across the plains when Tonto stops suddenly, climbs down, and puts his

Bob, a lawyer, was driving home over the Golden Gate Bridge after spending a great day on the ocean

For a computer programming class, I sat directly across from someone, and our computers were facing

Jesus dies and goes up to Heaven. The first thing he does is look for his father, as he has never

Two Polish guys were taking their first train trip to Warsaw on the train. A vendor came down the

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known

Two golfers were waiting their turn on the tee when a naked woman ran across the fairway and into

Three blondes died and are at the gates of heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates

The story is told of a Mexican bandit who robbed a Texas bank of $250,000 and escaped across the river. A

Almost 150 years ago, President Lincoln found it necessary to hire a private investigator - Alan

There was a girl who went to sunday school and always fell asleep. One day the teacher asked and pointed

There was a typical blond. She had long, blonde hair, blue eyes, and she was sick of all the blonde

*Juan the Smuggler* Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He has two large bags

For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how TRUE this is! They actually have a chili

Two men were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freight vessel. While

A blonde, brunette, and a red head were all in a race swimming breastroke accross the english

An Irishman who had a little to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car

A man woke up every morning and passed gas. After about eight or nine years of marriage, his wife finally

Three men were trekking through the desert and came across a magician. The magician was standing at

A young punk gets on the cross town bus and sits down in the only vacant seat, directly across from

A man traveling by plane was in urgent need of a restroom facility. But each time he tried, it was

There was a party that many rich people attended. The host had recently built a tank with many alligators,

A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices

There are three blondes stranded on an island. Suddenly a fairy appears and offers to grant each one

A computer programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful

Jesus was nailed to the cross. He said "Peter, come forth". Peter walks up, Jesus waves his hand and

There were two factories in New York City. One of them made maternity frocks for expectant mothers,

A family is driving in their car on a holiday. A frog crosses the road and the husband, who is driving,

A man and his little boy were walking through the park when a honeybee landed near them. The boy ran

A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, "Mom why have I got these huge

Two assassins are hired to kill a dictator in South America. They follow his every move for months,

A woman is becoming increasingly worried that she might never find a mate. She wonders if there is

It's the first of April, and Joe is out of town on business. He returns home to find out that his wife

A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He sips it and sets it down. A monkey swings across the bar

Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred,

A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop somewhere in Washington DC. Picking through the objects

There are some children in a class naming animals and they come across a picture of a deer. So the

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof

A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while

The cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the theater. When the usher came by and noticed

A man and wife attended church one evening, and the wife decided that it was time to stop her husband

A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice. "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more