daughter

"How'd you do it?" the doctor asked as he was setting farmer Joe Brown's broken leg."Well Doc," said

A woman went to a pet shop & immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage

At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?""I

There was girl who was a prostitute, but her grandmother didn't know about her occupation.One day, the

A very 'straight and honest' girl is going to Town. Before she left, her mother gave her some advice:

A man is out in the Chinese wilderness and he's hopelessly lost. It's been nearly three weeks since he's

A judge was interviewing a women regarding her pending divorce and asked, "What are the grounds for your

There was a middle aged couple, who had two stunningly beautiful teenaged blonde daughters. They decided

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street."But officer."

A man was on trial for selling drugs, and a neighbor was called as a witness. ,The defense attorney asked,

One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He'd toss them in the air, then catch them

A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? Well, I hope you remember my story when they

An Irish daughter had not been home for over five

One day a man forgot to tell his wife the couches

There was a blonde, a brunette and a red head.

Dear Abby: My husband is a liar and a cheat. He

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist

A Redheaded mom walks into her daughter's room,

What Did A Lawyer Name His Daughter? Sue!!

Saddam Hussein & his chauffeur were driving down

Angelina Jolie: I am so in love with my brother

There was a couple who did not want their children

Once there were two farmers. One had a daughter

Valentines Day is here again, and with it the perfect

A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when

A guy was driving his truck along the interstate,

What did Osama name his last daughter? Camela

Ever since the Bush daughters got into trouble

Three women are discussing their teenage daughters.

10) My fellow Americans, I have been lying to you

--That comment about Elton being "twice the woman"

A salesman''s car breaks down in the pouring rain

A mother goes to visit her daughter. She walks

One day, a guy was approached by a rich man who

These are excuse notes from parents (with their

A man is in court for murder and the judge says,

An elderly woman comes home and finds her daughter

There was a young woman who lived with her grandmother.

A little girl was failing math. Her mother enrolled

This guy was really sleepy and needed a place to

How can you tell if a redneck's daughter is on

A man walks into a barber shop with his daughter.

An Englishman, a Frenchman and an Irishman were

There was a brave with no sexual experience. He

A travelling salesman's car breaks down in the

A redneck takes his daughter to the doctor to get

What did the mother vampire say to her daughter

One day a man goes into a hotel and asks for a

One evening, a man was at home watching TV and

You might be a redneck if you let your 12 year

If you have six lovers and five are your daughters,

A month before Prom night the daughter goes to

One day a woman, pregnant with triplets, was walking

On a long walk in the woods, Johhny found himself

A couple had been married for many years, and their

Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth.

This guy, about 40, walks into a bar and orders

Three men want to marry the king's most beautiful

One day Bill complained to his friend that his

One misty Scottish morning a man is driving through

One day, Mr. Phillard rushed his pregnant wife

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist

ARKANSAS STATE RESIDENCY APPLICATION Name:

Three men were on a road trip. their car broke

A mother had three daughters and at their weddings

A woman goes over to her married son's house and

What did the blonde mother say to the blonde daughter? "If

Has anyone ever said to you, ''Do you know Jack

Rule One: I am aware that it is concidered fashionable

A man's house is on fire. He runs out of the house

An old man and his daughter go to the doctor for

There was this virgin that was going out on a date

One day a little girl came running into her house

A young man and a young woman were soon to be married,

There was a couple who did not want their children

There was a man whose elbow hurt so he told his

1) You try to enter your password on the microwave.

There was a man who was drivivng down the road

A little girl came running into the house crying

One night, a cabbie was driving through the streets

This hous wife got tired of being alone everyday

Rush Limbaugh and his chauffeur were out driving

A grandson ran up to his grandfather and asked

A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were getting

1) So your daughter's a hooker,and it spoiled your

A father has three daughters that are all getting

What did the father say to his blonde daughter?

A young woman goes to church to confess her sins

1) Chest Trays 2) NFRU (Not for Recreational

The wealthy, high-society mother of a 17-year-old

Twas the Night before Christmas, and all through

    NBC 8:00 Friends 8:30

A guy is tossing peanuts into the air and catching

Members of Congress...people of America....I banged

A family was having some people to dinner. At

An old man from a far off land was once on the

On the last day of kindergarten, all the children

A mother was walking down the hall when she heard

A man comes home with his little daughter, whom

1. I'll swallow it all.. I love the taste.

    In Lebanon, men are legally allowed

A lawyer lies dying, his partner of 40 years by

One night, the Potato family sat down to dinner.

There once was a farmer who was raising 3 daughters

Monica Lewinsky virus: Sucks all the memory

Last name: ________________ First name (check

One day, Jeffrey complained to his friend, "My

So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day... Look at the bright side, she's a really

One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's

Do you know someone like this? A guy walks into the local welfare office for his monthly check.

A man and his wife were celebrating 50 years together. Their three kids, all very successful, agreed

Way down in Louisiana, Boudreaux's old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come.

On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher. The florist's son brought

A lady is throwing a party for her granddaughter, and had gone all out..... a caterer, band, and a

After working most of her life Grandma finally retired. At her next checkup, the new doctor told her

I met an older woman at a bar last night. She wasn't bad for 57, we drank and bullsh*tted a bit,

A grandmother was pushing her little grandchild around Wal- Mart in a buggy. Each time she put something

(Actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his senator) The Honorable Tom Harkin 731 Hart

Grandma's letter; She is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes: Dear

A woman pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a masked robber ran out of a bank

I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to

What, you ask, is "Butt dust?" Read on and you'll discover the joy in it! These have to be original

A young Southern couple got married and went on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately

The teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with this see-through blouse on and no bra.

The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex. Worried the

"An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they

Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his

A teenage girl comes home from school and asks her mother. "Is it true what Rita just told me? Babies

Mrs. Ogden went to her doctor and said "Please give me a prescription for the Pill." "I don't think

Dear Dogs and Cats, The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes

My daughter called me at work to say I was to phone Ian at my bank. The operator asked me what Ian's

A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent

A family is sitting around the supper table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of breasts

An elderly woman from Brooklyn decided to prepare her will. She told her rabbi she had two final requests.

NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible

Way down in Louisiana, Bubba's old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come.

A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem

A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an examination to determine the

A young Technician and his General Manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to

Dr. Phil was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You

One day a fella was driving home when he suddenly realized that it was his daughter's birthday and

Who said men don't remember anniversaries? A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for

Always wear brown shoes when Congress is in session. If the First Daughters are wearing short skirts,

One night a blonde nun was praying in her room when God appeared before her. "My daughter, you have

10 INDISPUTABLE TRUTHS BLACK PEOPLE KNOW, BUT WHITE PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT: 1. Elvis is dead. 2.

Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new

It was the last day of school, and all the students were bringing presents for their teacher. A florist's

So anyvay, late one night, Lena vakes Ole and says, "I tink its time!" So Ole fired up the Yohn Deere

Rhonda went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the

1. Good: Your wife is pregnant. Bad: It's triplets. Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago. 2.

A mother enters her daughter's bedroom and sees a letter over the bed. With the worst premonition,

Scenario: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a

I promise you cannot read these and not laugh out loud! These are real notes written from parents

Clem pulled over the car by the side of the road and showed Jed where he'd first had sex. "It

An eighteen-year-old Italian girl tells her mom that she has missed her period for two months. Very

A young woman asks her mother, "Mom, how many kind of penises are there?" The mother, surprised,

Jack has died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Jack's Last Will and Testament. "To

Sherry lost her husband almost four years ago and still hasn't gotten out of her mourning stage. Her

1. When you get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?" 2. When

A southern farmer got in his pickup and drove several miles to a neighboring farm and knocked on the

Clem pulled over the car by the side of the road and showed Jed where he'd first had sex. "It was

One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they were appalled

Today is my daughters 18th birthday......I'm so glad that this I my last....damn child support payment.

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial

An entire new strain of viruses has just been uncovered and we wanted to get this information to you

A girl was a prostitute, but she didn't want her grandma to know. One day, the police raided a whole

This lady is giving a party for her granddaughter, and has gone all out. She had a caterer, band,

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer!"

A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son's house. She rang the doorbell and walked

One afternoon while doing some work in the garden I noticed my dog dragging something under the fence.

As a mother passed her daughter's closed bedroom door,she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from

A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately

A man walks into a store to buy a Barbie doll for his daughter. "How much is that Barbie in the window?",

An 8-year-old girl asks her father, "Daddy, what is sex?" The father is somewhat surprised that she

A man with a nagging secret couldn't keep it any longer. In the confessional he admitted that for years

Three sisters decided to get married on the same day to save their parents the expense of separate

There was a man with a daughter, son, and a wife. The man and his wife were not having very good sex

A woman wanted a pet so she went to the local pet shop. She looked at the dogs and the cats but finally

Little Johnny and his grandmother were shopping in a department store. Little Johnny wanted to go

A man was taking his wife, who was pregnant with twins, to the hospital when his car went out of control

A young woman brings home her fiancee to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father

A middle-aged couple, with two beautiful daughters, An autopsy professor was giving an introductory

A middle-aged couple, with two beautiful daughters, decided to try one last time for the son they always