death

A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions

There was this case in the hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed

3 Men are walking through the jungle when they are captured by native tribesman. The tribesman take the

There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats

A middle-aged woman has a heart attack and is sent to a hospital. While on the operating table, she

It was the first day of school and a new student, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth

Three men stand before St. Peter awaiting admission into Heaven. However, St. Peter has been informed

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? Well, I hope you remember my story when they

How many Victorian ladies does it take to change

Mark your calendar with the multitude of holidays

An Irish daughter had not been home for over five

There was this case in the hospital's Intensive

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After

Here are the top nine comments made by sports commentators

Here's a dilemma... With all your honor and dignity,

Here's a dilemma for you... With all your honor

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all

There were three men on death row, a Brit, an American,

A manager walks into his office and sees a blonde

A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was

The British speech: "If you are ferocious in battle,

A woman arrives at the Pearly Gates and finds St.

After dying a grisly death in an Afghan cave, Osama

An infamous killer is on death row. He is allowed

A Tennessee man and an Alabama man were fighting

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all

Knock, knock Whoââ,¬â"¢s there? Sorry,

SICKNESS AND RELATED LEAVE: We will no longer

Years of straining with poopie-ing, we can only

Questions and answers selected from tests in Springdale,

An English professor told her students that there

How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges? What

What's the difference between bin Laden and Aladdin?

A GOOD ONE... enjoy. There was this case in the

"It was too bad I wasn't a second baseman; then

The was a man who had four kids, all gorgeous,

There were these two fleas in a bar. The first

A virgin boy turns 18, and asks his dad for money

A Tennessee man and an Alabama man were both fighting

A man is in court for murder and the judge says,

Brittany was on her deathbed, with her husband

A little old man stumbles into a biker bar and

Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School

One day, a farmer decides to buy a new rooster

What do a cat, plant, and sea monkeys have in common?

Bob was joining the army and they were handing

There was a Irishman, Mexican, and a blond guy,

12. In the Star Wars universe, weapons are rarely,

Three men are found in the wilderness by civilized

(Setting: A furious lightsaber duel is underway.

There was an old woman on a plane, sitting next

A brunette is walking through the country, when

The preacher was very distraught after the death

Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth.

There was a contruction worker who was working

These two Scottish characters are chatting. One

An eye doctor, a heart surgeon and an HMO executive

One day this little girl's dad came home and she

When the nurse was bathing a female patient who

(which in our society means over 25) An older

Ole was on his death bed. But before he died,

Once there was a farmer. He had two teenage sons.

There was a long, long line of spirits at the gate

This elderly Newfoundland fisherman is on his deathbed

(Disclaimer--Some of this stuff is illegal.) *Ask

There's a man in the prison hospital on death row

Jan.10 5:00 P.M. It's starting to snow. The

One day a man was planting flowers outside his

Slash, a well-known murderer, had been on death

Did you hear about the blonde couple that were

Lincoln and JFK started politics 100 years apart.

Three men are at the FBI Building for a job interview.

A husband and wife had four boys. The odd part

Words can't describe your outfit, so I'll just

Two guys meet in heaven, and are chatting about

Dearest John, I went to the door today and the

You're so stupid that if you got locked in a grocery

A man was sitting at the bar in a watering hole

A dying man gathered his best friends - a lawyer,

One day a blonde was outside of her apartment on

If it weren't for the olives in martinis, yo' mama

A blonde named Anna had a near death experience.

10) Pretend you don't speak English. 9) Say

Once there were two best friends, named Fred and

At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic

1. Life is sexually transmitted. 2. Two wrongs

Similarities between the Titanic video and the

"I'm going fishing." Really means... "I'm going

Aging Mildred was a 93 year-old woman who was particularly

A male whale and his mate were swimming around

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to

She was so blonde that she got locked in a grocery

    A few months ago, there was

But Doctor, You HAVE To! In Turkey, Mehmet Esirgen, 52,

Senator Hillary Clinton snuck off to visit a fortuneteller

    In Lebanon, men are legally allowed

In a murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining

    Two explorers are flying over

Yo' mama so stupid, she got locked in a supermarket

    For all you guys out there who

A man goes to visit a fortune teller. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic

A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday. "I'd love to be six again," she replied. On

"I'M GOING FISHING" Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream

During a recent outing in New Orleans, a woman sneaked off to visit a fortune teller of some local

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that

King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could

We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them?

Jack was sitting in an airplane when another guy took the seat beside him. Jack noticed that the guy

Two Irishmen, Patrick Murphy and Shawn O'Brian grew up together and were lifelong friends. But alas,

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings currently on display. "I've

As You Slide Down the Banister of Life, Remember: 1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an

Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization? Answer: Princess Diana's death. Question:

The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late

A 93-year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband, decided that

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife turning back and forth, looking at

Subject: Story with a Moral Story with a Moral In 1923, Who Was: 1. President of the largest steel

Pretty soon, I won't be able to do anything except sit in my chair and read! I must send my thanks

A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker were captured by cannibals. The chief comes to them and

In case you have been waiting breathlessly for this year's Darwin Awards, here they are. The awards

A woman visited a psychic of some local repute. In a dark and gloomy room, gazing at the Tarot cards

There was a German, an Italian and a Missouri Redneck on death row. The warden gave them a choice

There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats

No matter what you do or where you go, you're always going to be yourself. And Panexa knows this. Your

Smart Ass Answer #5: A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As

On a given night, 2 death row inmates are scheduled to be electrocuted on old sparky. While one execution

A cowboy and a biker are on death row, and are to be executed on the same day. The day comes, and they

Q: How can you tell if a fax came from a blonde? A: It has a stamp on it. Q: Why do blondes have

The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500 man elite fighting unit called the US REDNECK

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God... "Lord, I have a problem!" "What's the

Born 1903-Died 1942 Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was. ****************************** In

An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death's agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite

This happened about a month ago just outside a little town in the bayou country of Louisiana, and

I would not say that the future is necessarily less predictable than the past. I think the past was

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death they are close to just

THE WIT AND THE WISDOM OF HOMER J.SIMPSON "Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That''s for Daddys,

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart is only

Alabama: Yes, We Have Electricity Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong! Arizona: But It's A

[The year would not be complete without the Darwin Awards - awarded every year to the persons who

*Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal. *I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. *WANTED:

Some people say that I'm superficial, but that's just on the surface. On one hand, I'm indecisive;

Ralph returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours

It was the first day of school in Marietta, Georgia, and a new student named Suzuki, the son of a Japanese

1. Jesse Jackson, Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called "Ministers

There were two lovers, who were really into spiritualism and reincarnation. They vowed that if either

A prominent young attorney was on his way to court to begin arguments on a complex lawsuit when he

After his death, Osama bin Laden went to heaven. There he was greeted by George Washington, who

The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on his heart due to the unfortunate death

After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of

With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the present time, it is worth reflecting on

1. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever! Unless you actually

A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table,

Miriam was dying and on her deathbed, she gave final instructions to her husband Sidney. "Sidney,

Description Missus manifests as a female humanoid providing cooking/cleaning features, and a sitting-room/TV

A teacher was wrapping up class, and started talking about tomorrow's final exam. He said there would

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because

1. "I can't find it." MEANS: It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I am completely clueless.

These, are real answers given by children. Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and

Maria, an Italian woman was extrememly religious. When she was married, she refused to use protection because

Dear Diary: Day 1 Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate. When

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial

A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when

Add It Up: Relationship Guide For all you guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is:

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry midterm. The answer

Frank was excited about his new rifle, and decided to try bear hunting. He spotted a small brown

One afternoon while doing some work in the garden I noticed my dog dragging something under the fence.

A "Kinder, Gentler System" Sony has announced its own computer operating system now available on

..she sent me a fax with a stamp on it ...she thought a quarterback was a refund ...she tried to

Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day,

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, Interviews, and testing

A busy farmer needed some help with tending to the animals. His mother-in-law offered to spend

A Bible study group was discussing the unforeseen possibility of sudden death. "We will all die

A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday. "I'd love to be six again," she replied.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were trying out for a new NASA experiment on sending women to different

The teacher had given the class an assignment. He stresses the importance of this particular assignment,

One day, a blonde who lived on the 12th floor of a high-rise apartment building was out on her balcony,

Two deputies in the Sheriff's Office, one who had been in town for ten years and the other who had

A lawyer, laying on his deathbed in his bedroom, called to his wife and told her to run and get the

Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day,

A guy went to his doctor full of anger. "Doc," he said, "I feel like killing my wife. You've got to

An old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called his lawyer. "I want to become

A prominent young attorney was on his way to court to begin arguments on a complex lawsuit when he

Aging Mildred was a 93 year old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her

A woman's husband was cheating on her. The woman and her husband got a divorce and the woman went on

A middle aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she