decided

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write

This guy and this girl have been married for about 25 years and there sex just wasent happening anymore.

A man walking down the street noticed a small boy trying to reach the doorbell of a house. Even when

A man met a beautiful lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away.She protested, "But we don't

A little town had a high birth rate that had attracted the attention of the sociologists at the state

A woman went to a pet shop & immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage

This one is long but well worth reading!In case your frustration level rises today, this is for everyone

I stopped at a fast food restaurant recently. I was fascinated by a sign which offered fat free french

A man decided to buy a new telescope for his rifle. He goes to a rifle shop, and asks the clerk to show

There was this case in the hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed

One day, a young cowboy and a cowgirl decided to get married. He was a man of the world and she was an

A couple who had 2 kids decided that whenever they wanted sex, they would use code words so the children

A very 'straight and honest' girl is going to Town. Before she left, her mother gave her some advice:

Now home from honeymoon and settled in our new home. It's fun to cook for Tim. Today I made an angel

There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats

There was a couple who were big over-spenders. They always dreamed to spend holidays in Hawaii, but were

A man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He decided to stop

A man on a camel rode through miles of the sun-drenched desert searching for some sign of life. His supplies

A very large, old, building was being torn down in Chicago to make room for a new skyscraper. Due to

A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party.She got a terrible headache and told her husband

An elderly couple were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary, so they decided to return to the little

There was a middle aged couple, who had two stunningly beautiful teenaged blonde daughters. They decided

Three men stand before St. Peter awaiting admission into Heaven. However, St. Peter has been informed

A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort up north. The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn

One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He'd toss them in the air, then catch them

A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem

A Chinese man arranged for a hooker to come to his room for the evening. Once in the room they undressed,

In Scotland, the most important time for a young lad is when he "comes of age" and is allowed to purchase

John had just won first prize at a cat show and had received a 10-day cruise to the Puerto Rico. The

A guy was setting up like a bank account or something like that, and he was being taken care of by a

Two Norwegian men were driving near Mt. Horab, a Norwegian community in Wisconsin, when they noticed

There were four country churches in a small Texas

One day Little Sally got her "monthly bleeding"

A big-city California lawyer went duck hunting

A very flat-chested woman finally decided she needed

There's a teacher in a small Texas town. She asks

Two blondes and a brunette fell off a cliff, handing

A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was

After Great Britain's Beer Festival, all the brewery

Adam was in the Garden of Eden feeling lonely when

In school one day, the teacher decided that in

A beautiful woman loved to garden, but couldn't

A brunette, a red-head and a blonde were in jail

Two rednecks, Bubba and Cooter, decided that they

One day mama bear and papa bear were getting a

Yo mama's so fat...she decided to go on a diet.

Saddam Hussein was sitting down wondering who to

A secretary for a foreign embassy was entertaining

Adam was talking to his friend at the bar, and

An executive was stessed out. He had to fire one

A man hated his wife's cat and he decided to get

Bush and Osama decided to settle the war once and

1. Lower corner of screen has the words "Etch-a-sketch"

There was a couple who did not want their children

A truck driver had a 2 day lay-over during the

A leprechaun walks into a bar, and he see's a sign

The American Dairy Association was so successful

Eddie went shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally

A gynecologist tired of his profession, and wanting

A preacher woke up one Sunday morning and looked

A guy came home one day after getting fired from

Say, "Damn, officer, you must have been going

On the first day of school in Houston, a teacher

Joe and Wanda had a small apartment in the city.

According to a news report, a certain private school

The England team's training session was delayed

1. My fellow Americans, I have taken much into

Britney Spears had just bought her new car and

Dear U.S. Citizens, I have the distinguished honor

A man from Atlanta moved to New York. As he wandered

There's a teacher in a small Texas town. She asks

1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The

Don't Say This to Your New Girlfriend's Parents... 1.

1. Your dog rather rub up against the wall than

Jesus was worried about the drug epidemic plaguing

Last semester I took macroeconomics and didn't

One morning a man was leaving to go to work. He

A drunk had been at a pub all night. At last call,

There was an old professor who started every class

There was this guy who lived in Chicago. He was

A gynecologist was getting sick of his job and

One day Jesus wanted to test his disciples. So

There was a man who owned a giant gorilla and he'd

One sunny day a man decided to go jump from an

Once upon a time there was a 98-year old woman

The king of a small African nation had an elegant

One day the king of a fairly large country was

A man moved into a new apartment, and he decided

An American cowboy was traveling in England and

A man was unemployed and bored, so he decided to

One day, a farmer walked into a bar and asked the

While he was rooting around in the basement, a

There once was a little kid named Billy who loved

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent

An elderly couple decided to celebrate their 50th

Police arrested Joe Bloggs, a 27-year old white

A newly married hillbilly couple decided they wanted

One day three women went camping - a blonde, a

A man is away on business, at a convention for

The U.S. Government decided to take an experiment

Three nuns decided to quit so they went to the

One day, a man went into the doctor because he

Bubba was Alabama's star lineman. He was great

Christmas was just around the corner, and a father

A wealthy wife and husband were leaving to go to

It was Christmas Eve, and a lady hadn't had sex

There was a guy driving down the road when he ran

There was an older man who'd married a younger

An old man and women owned a farm. The old man

A poodle, a terrier, and a great dane were all

Once, in a small town, lived a man named Jack.

A man walked into a curio store and was shopping

A redneck felt sick and decided to go to the doctor.

One day, a man was golfing when he hit his ball

Barbara Walters was doing a documentary on the

An old farmer decided it was time to get a new

One night, a father passed by his son's room and

This really fat guy wanted to lose weight. He tried

After praying nonstop for eight years, God finally

One day a government worker was digging through

A farmer had just bought some pigs for breeding,

A man was in a bad accident and was injured. But

One day a man and his wife went golfing, as they

A man and his wife were invited to a swanky masked

A young man wished to purchase a present for his

The ringmaster of a traveling circus was looking

One evening, a man was at home watching TV and

There were these two people in a bar, a boy and

Once upon a time, there was a cat who died. When

There once was a young couple who lived in a town

Two blondes suddenly got into bird hunting and

A man decided to march in the holy crusades. Concluding

The preacher was very distraught after the death

Three men were flying in a plane, when they decided

Father Murphy was a very poor priest in a very

On a long walk in the woods, Johhny found himself

An Eskimo man awoke one day with the urge to go

This Story is true!!! For all of you who occasionally

There was a soldier that enlisted in the army to

There was this man who had a dog. Every Sunday

Three guys were in a bar and they heard a woman

A preacher wanted to raise money for his church

A man had a very small penis, so he went to a witch

Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study

Two good ol' boys were driving down the road

1) In the middle of class, run to the middle of

It was the night of prom, and Sally didn't have

A news reporter decided to do a column on old Southern

MEMORANDUM RE: Computer Software Warning Last

Nuns where repainting their chapel. They kept getting

Once there was a farmer. He had two teenage sons.

There was a long, long line of spirits at the gate

On a senior citizens bus tour, while the passengers

A man decided to spend the night with a prostitute.

A couple went to church every week, but every

There was once a stockbroker who had made a ton

Bill Clinton is out jogging around in some of

(Disclaimer--Some of this stuff is illegal.) *Ask

A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday.

A married couple was walking down the street when

Once upon a time, there was a river. The Nile River,

The was a man named George who got a new job.

Horace was born with only one arm but he managed

The young playboy took a blind date to an amusement

One day this Preacher decided that he would skip

Ron Hextal, the Flyer's goalie, was so upset about

A couple was getting ready to go to a Halloween

After working out in the gym, Bill, a gay man was

Bertha was worried about her husband George, so

A blonde got a dent in her car and took it in to

There once was a very distraught woman, who was

The Smiths had no children and decided to use a

A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on an

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted

There was a chicken farmer who owned a talking

Two guys were walking their dogs and came across

One day, a man had an accident at work, which resulted

Three bears came out of hibernation and they were

There was a man who had a 25 inch penis, so he

Once there lived a mother who had two sons who

A very rich man met a beautiful lady and he decided

There was a couple who did not want their children

There was this couple that had twins and they couldn't

Once there were two chinese gentlemen named Mr.

Once upon a time there lived a woman in Brampton

Two gay men, Paul and Tom, were making love one

A kilted Scotsman was walking down a country path

This priest was driving to his church when he saw

There were three men in a bar. All three were

There once was a man who decided to go scuba diving

One day, an old lady decided that she didn't want

Once upon a time Nasa decided to send 3 astronauts

There was a man whose elbow hurt so he told his

There were nine blondes and a brunette hanging

This man decided that on his birthday he was going

A beautiful middle aged woman finally decided to

There was a blonde who was tired of all the blonde

It's wise to remember how easily e-mail can be

A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise

A group of guys were chatting with a good-looking

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my

One day, two drunks were stumbling around in the

A young, innocent couple got married. On the first

One day there were two men walking down a dirt

There were once three boys in a classroom called

Three Englishmen were getting soused in a pub,

I once had a pet pig named Belle. One day I decided

A Mismatched Pair of Gloves A young man wished

A cowboy was riding through an old abandoned canyon

I'm currently running the latest version of GirlFriend

A doctor at an (insane) asylum decided to take

NASA decided to send a shuttle into space with

Why is Clinton having such a hard time deciding

One afternoon, a princess decided to go for a ride

There were these two guys at the pub, and one guy

An elderly couple decided to take a cruise to spice

There once was this deacon and this preacher, and

This hous wife got tired of being alone everyday

These two persons are discussing whether the state

A guy (we'll call him Aaron) was laying down carpet

A guy was walking down the road, to a city about

There was a successful doctor who had an office

One day, three flies were sitting in a garbage

This crook mistakenly made a counterfeit $8 bill

A woman went camping and while she was out she

A freshman at Eagle Rock Junior High won first

Once there was man named Jim, who let his dog out

There was this guy who wanted to quit smoking.

There was a boss who was told by his boss that

Once upon a time, there was a man who came home

One day, there was a cowboy riding a horse in the

A car decided not to stop for a stop sign but

One night, God spoke to a preacher to tell him

There once was a boy who named Odd. A lot of people

One day, a blonde named Sally was putting together

One day a new vacuum salesman is going door-to-door

An elderly husband and wife noticed that they were

There once a man who worked in a pickle factory.

One morning, a man approached the first tee, only

There was once a man who had problems satisfying

There was a young country boy who was very bright.

A businessman was about to go on a long business

The pentagon said they had too many generals running

It was a really hot day and this blonde decided

When an attractive young girl returned from her

"Doc," says Steve, "I want to be castrated." "What

A guy heard from his doctor that masturbating before

    There is a man who has three girlfriends,

Make love, not war. Hell, do both: get married! *

A milkman was delivering on his round when he came

One day a group of eminent scientists got together

Joe and Wanda had a small apartment in the city

Doris and Fred had started their retirement years

An 83-year old woman decided that she'd seen and

Due to widespread panic about the Y2K bug, Internet

   As you grow older, what lost

Joe was moderately successful in his career, but

A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife:

A guy dies and goes to heaven. It's a slow day

A fellow bought a new Corvette and was out on an

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to

A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest

Aging Mildred was a 93 year-old woman who was particularly

A cowboy was passing by a ranch and decided to

    One day, a man named Tony died.  

The Atlanta School Board, feeling left out by the

    What to not say to the nice

Steve was in a terrible accident at work. However,

A group of third, fourth and fifth graders accompanied

A man decided to paint the toilet while his wife

In Scotland, the most important time for a young

    William and Mildred were married

1. I'll swallow it all.. I love the taste.

Once upon a time, there was a little old man who

A secretary for a foreign embassy was entertaining

There was a world famous painter who, in the prime

Two guys were attending a party in the woods, when

    One day, a mechanic was working

An executive was in a bind. He had to get rid

A frustrated wife got some Viagra for her husband.

Two priests were going to Hawaii on vacation and

A farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine. It

A poor minister was having trouble managing his

A married couple went to the hospital to have their

When Charles deGaulle decided to retire from public

There was an old couple who hadn't celebrated Halloween

Introductory Chemistry at Duke has been taught

A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two

In 1993, the American Government funded a study

The wedding date was set and the groom's three

An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night.

One day, Jeffrey complained to his friend, "My

When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend. When I was 16 I got a girlfriend,

A psychotherapist was enjoying a growing practice since he graduated college. So much so that he could

Joe Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN JAPAN ) for 6am . While his coffeepot

According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington was recently faced with a unique

In California Unleaded gas went to $4.00 a gallon last Thursday. Sister Mary Ann, who worked for

Three women: one engaged, one married, and one a mistress, were chatting about their relationships

After his legs had been broken in an accident, Mr. Miller sued for damages, claiming that he was

A cat died and went to Heaven. God met her at the gates and said, "You have been a good cat all

Police arrested Malcolm Davidson, a 27 year-old white male resident of Wilmington, NC, in a pumpkin

A man and his wife were having an argument in bed. After the husband had finally had enough, he jumped up

An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution for a client

Joan, who was a rather well-proportioned secretary, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Wairarapa. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell

Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned

A guy had been feeling down for so long that he finally decided to seek the aid of a psychiatrist.

A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial troubles. Coincidentally,

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company,

The only cow in a small Kentucky town stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found

A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened Then

Jim was annoyed when his blonde wife told him that a car had backed into her, damaging a fender, and

It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new

A retired corporate executive, now a widower, decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean

Four college friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to go up to Dallas

Customer: Hi. How much is your paint? Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things. Customer:

A very large, old, building was being torn down in Chicago to make room for a new skyscraper. Due

Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb, and Quasimodo were all talking one day. Sleeping Beauty said, "I believe

A Japanese company ( Toyota ) and an American company (General Motors decided to have a canoe race

A woman pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a masked robber ran out of a bank

Little Zachary was doing poorly in math. His parents, after exhausting all other incentives, finally

There was once an aspiring veterinarian who put himself through veterinary school working nights as

A young boy had just gotten his driver's license and inquired of his father if they could discuss his

There was a preacher whose wife was expecting a baby so he went before the congregation and asked for

A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor

There was a fly buzzing around a barn one day when he happened on a pile of fresh cow manure. Due to

On a farm out in the country lived a man and a woman and their three sons. Early one morning, the woman

When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend. When I was 16 I got a girlfriend,

Jack's grandfather left him $10 million, and the next week Diane agreed to marry him. After three months

It's wise to remember how easily email can be misused, sometimes unintentionally, with serious consequences. Consider

Joe grew up in Jamaica, then moved away to attend college and law school. He decided to come back

A man once spent days looking for his new hat. Finally, he decided that he'd go to church on Sunday

An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his

An old couple who hadn't celebrated Halloween in a long time decided to dress up and go out. The

The owner of a golf course in Tennessee was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask

At Heathrow Airport in England, a 300 ft. red carpet was stretched out to Air Force One and President

A little town in southern Illinois had a sensational birth rate, and scientists decided to visit the

A 93-year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband, decided that

The only cow in a small town in Arkansas stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found

Annoyed by the professor of anatomy who liked to tell "naughty" stories during class, a group of female

An old man, a boy, and a donkey were on their way to town. The boy was riding the donkey. As they

Father Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early

Rabbi Bernstein was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn from his body.

A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of the University

After working for years, a hooker finally retired and, being afraid of spending the rest of her life

Some retired deputy sheriffs went to a retreat in the mountains. To save money, they decided to sleep

An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought

A group of Kentucky second, third, and fourth graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After

"An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they

In Florida, an atheist became incensed over the preparation for Easter and Passover holidays and decided

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms

Bubba decided it was time to purchase a new saw to help clear his heavily timbered property. A salesman

Little Johnny had a cussing problem and his father was getting tired of it. He decided to ask his

Life isn't like a box of chocolates; it's more like a jar of jalapenos: you never know what's going

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated

An older couple had a son, who was still living with them. The parents were a little worried, as the

There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats

One year at Christmas my mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible

Bush and Osama decided to settle the war once and for all. They sat down and decided to settle the

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself

Green Bay, WI Monday, October 31, 2005 - Anthrax Scare At Lambeau Field Green Bay Packer football

A Texas family of football supporters head out one Saturday to the outlet mall to do their tax-free

Here in Kentucky, you don't see too many people hang-gliding. Bubba decided to save up and get a hang-glider.

After the North American Beer Festival, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The

Customer: Hi. How much is your paint? Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things. Customer:

An elderly woman from Brooklyn decided to prepare her will. She told her rabbi she had two final requests.

A boy was taking care of his baby sister while his parents went to town shopping. He decided to go

A man and woman were having marriage problems, and decided to end their union after a very short time

From: Chief of Operations Subject: Proper Narrative Descriptions It has come to our attention from

Bubba applied for an engineering position at a Lake Charles refinery. A Yankee applied for the same

An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back,

The Reverend Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful

A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial troubles. While checking the

Once upon a time there was a non-conforming sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter. However,

A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem

A day before his 15th birthday, the son of a wealthy family was asked by his father, `Well my son,

It was spring in the old west. The cowboys rode the still snow choked trails looking for cattle

At a Senior Citizen's luncheon, an elderly gentleman and an elderly lady truck up a conversation and

Three little boys were concerned because they couldn't get anyone to play with them. They decided

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer

There was a little guy sitting at a bar drinking a beer. A while later a huge guy walked into the bar

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company

Bubba Joe's first military assignment was to a military induction center, and--because he was a good

So this isn't Home Sweet Home ... Adjust! Ring bell for maid service. If no answer, do it yourself! I

A city slicker, named Tommy, was on vacation in Texas. His hosts, being very hospitable, invited him

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has

The world's most avid baseball fan, a blonde, had arrived early at the stadium for the first game

A business man got on an elevator.when he entered,there was a blonde already inside who greeted him

There was a man named George who got a new job. His fellow employees always met for a round of golf

There was a preacher whose wife was expecting a baby. The preacher went to the congregation and asked

An elderly couple had been dating for some time. Finally they decided it was time for marriage. Before

Seems God was just about done with creating the universe but he had two extra things left over in

A team of American and British archaeologists was excavating in Israel when they came upon a cave.

A cop stops a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. Since he's in a good mood that

A biker stopped by the local Harley Shop to have his bike repaired. They couldn't do the work while

After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of

A young banker decided to get his first tailor-made suit. So he went to the finest tailor in town

Rhonda went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the

Two 90 yr. old men decided to go to there local whore house one more time before it was to late. They

A man went to the beach to work on his tan. In his hotel room that night, he noticed that he had a

According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently was faced with a unique

A dedicated shop steward was at a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels.

An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept

A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table,

A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan

A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful (and intelligent) pet dachshund

The Doctor said: "The good news is I can cure your headaches...The bad news is that it will require

An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through

The cowhand got paid on Friday and immediately rode into town and proceeded to the nearest bar and

The teacher noticed that Johnny had been daydreaming for a long time. She decided to get his attention. "Johnny,"

If you recall the old Hollywood Squares show, this will bring a tear to your eyes. They are worth

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take

Two women friends had gone for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the

A primary school teacher decided to see how many of the city kids knew what sounds farm animals made.

There was an old man, a boy, and a donkey. They were going to town and it was decided that the boy

This is a test for men only and all "real men" will answer "C" to all of these questions. However,

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because

Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as time went by, the traffic slowly built up at an

A nun was going to Chicago. She went to the airport and sat down waiting for her flight. She looked

HER DIARY Saturday night I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to

After living in the remote wilderness of Kentucky all his life, an old hillbilly decided it was time

After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for a younger woman. The house was in his name

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped

God looked at earth and wanted to know what kind of behaviour that was going on. He decided to send

Police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch

The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of

Two elderly gentlemen, who had been without sex for several years, decided they needed to visit a

A man and his wife were driving through country on his way from New York to California. Looking

A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetie for Valentine's Day. As they had not been

The chief of staff of the US Army decided that he would personally intervene in the recruiting crisis

An old farmer had owned a large farm for several years and in the back forty it had a nice pond,

A young woman who had been married for several years was growing more and more frustrated at her husband's

Boudreaux went into the fish market to apply for a job. The boss thought to himself - I'm not hiring

An older couple had a son, who was still living with his parents. The parents were a little worried,

The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a surrogate father to start their

Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting

Paul was ambling through a crowded street fair when he decided to stop and sit at a Palm Reader's

OK, I'm the only female in a house full of guys. 4 sons and a hubby. Toilet seat is never down...etc. SOOOOoooooooooo

Bill Clinton took a jog near his new home in Chappaqua. And on each run, he happened to jog past a

A kilted Scotsman was walking down a country path after finishing off a large amount of whisky at a

Jason wanted to get his blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary, but also something

A lawyer from New York was transferred to a small frontier town during the settlement of the West.

After a Beer Festival in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. Corona's

A married couple went to he hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor

A DOCTOR at an asylum decided to take his inmates to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached

Three men - an American, a Japanese and an Irishman - were sitting naked in a sauna. Suddenly there

A man who absolutely hated his wife's cat decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks

A very flat-chested woman finally decided she needed a bra and set out to the mall in search of one

Tom, Dick and Harry were in the pub, a week before Xmas, enjoying a few quiet drinks, when they decided

In a tiny village lived an old maid. In spite of her old age, she was still a virgin. She was very

"Doc," says Steve, "I want to be castrated." "What on earth for?" asks the doctor in amazement.

Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the big table he looks into his small bowl.

A man was constipated, so he decided to go to the doctor. The doctor examined him and explained, "I'm

Frank was excited about his new rifle, and decided to try bear hunting. He spotted a small brown

The townspeople did a little research and discovered they could get a cow from Moscow for 2000 rubles

There was a zebra who had lived her entire life in a zoo and was getting on in age so the zoo keeper

These four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to go up to Dallas

More than anything, Bob wanted to be a cowpoke. Taking pity on him, a rancher decided to hire the

A woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond rings, a

Top brass from the Army, Navy and Marine Corps were arguing about who had the bravest troops. They

After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford

A good Irishman, John O'Reilly, met regularly with his toastmasters club. One evening they were hitting

Two rednecks met in a bar and decided that they weren't going anywhere in life so thought they should

A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida for a long weekend to thaw out during on particularly

A new Mercedes owner was out on an interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze

There was a typical blond. She had long, blonde hair, blue eyes, and she was sick of all the blonde

Annoyed by the professor of anatomy who liked to tell "naughty" stories during class, a group of

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in South Louisiana. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into

Never before had Sue looked in the box that her husband Fred kept under their bed. The box had been

The priest in a small Irish village was very fond of the chickens he kept in the hen house out the

A gynecologist who had lost interest in his medical practice decided to change careers and enrolled

A man woke up every morning and passed gas. After about eight or nine years of marriage, his wife finally

One night, a father passed by his son's room and heard his son praying: "God bless Mommy, Daddy, and

Once there was a golfer whose drive landed on an anthill. Rather than move the ball, he decided to

Three sisters decided to get married on the same day to save their parents the expense of separate

There were two men trying to decide what to do for a living. They went to see a counsellor, and he

There was a man with a daughter, son, and a wife. The man and his wife were not having very good sex

A travelling ventriloquist on the road in between jobs decided to practice his craft before his next

Two young engineers applied for a single position at a computer company. They both had the same

Three men are sitting naked in the sauna. Suddenly there is a beeping sound. The first man presses

A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ordered

There was this guy and he was driving along until he got a flat. He spotted a near-by farm and decided

A man received a bill for his as yet unused credit card stating that he owed $0.00. He ignored it and

A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. "You aren't so good in bed either!"

Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother's Day morning. As she lay there looking

There was a man who had three girlfriends, but he did not know which one to marry. So he decided to

An elderly couple had been dating for some time and decided it was finally time to marry. Before the

A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself. "You don't have to let your wife

A man was walking along the street when he saw a ladder going into the clouds. As any of us would do,

Aging Mildred was a 93 year old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her

A mafia Don was golfing with two golf associates: a deaf man and his interpreter lawyer. Since the

An elderly pair (he a widower, she a widow) meet in a retirement village. They seem to hit it off;

A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking sailor were shipwrecked on an island. One

An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar was closing.

A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $ 5,000 and feels really good about the

A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday, and as they had not been dating

It was a warm, sunny Sunday, so a man and his wife decided to take in the zoo. They spent the day,

Fay Chester was a busy housewife with a demanding husband, six children and a large house. The only

A ten-year-old boy was failing math. His parents tried everything from tutors to hypnosis, but to no

A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween party. The wife came down with a terrible headache

A man and wife attended church one evening, and the wife decided that it was time to stop her husband

One Sunday morning George burst into the living room and said, "Dad! Mom! I have some great news for

There were three friends Chris, John and Keith, who decided one sunny day to go for a walk in the

Merv was in a terrible accident at work. He fell through a floor tile and ripped off both of his ears.

A middle-aged couple, with two beautiful daughters, decided to try one last time for the son they always