doctor

An old woman dying in her old mans hand. Old man begs doctor for some help and says: -Please help,

A woman goes to the doctor's office and says to him. "Doctor, I've got a strange problem I need your

A man was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lbs. due to very serious health risks. As he wondered how

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy

"How'd you do it?" the doctor asked as he was setting farmer Joe Brown's broken leg."Well Doc," said

A very sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wants her vaginal lips reduced in size

A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his

A man with a 20-inch penis went to his doctor to complain that he was unable to get any women to have

One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making love. All of a sudden a bumble bee entered

A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!"I grabbed my stuff,

A man having trouble achieving an erection decides to consult a witch doctor.The witch doctor throws

An 80 year old man is having his annual checkup at his doctor's office. He says to the doctor, "I've

There was this case in the hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed

An 80-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results. The doctor says,

A rugged cowboy from Brokeback Mountain, Wyoming, goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run.

First-year students at a Medical School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human

An American tourist goes on a trip to China. While China, he is very sexually promiscuous and does not

A Husband and Wife go to the hospital to deliver their child. The doctor meets them and tells them that

There was this guy sunbathing in the nude at the beach. Well, this little girl comes up to him, so he

PPO = Preferred Provider OrganizationHMO = Health Maintenance OrganizationThe Queen of England was visiting

A man with a bad stomach complaint goes to his local doctor and asks him what he can do. The doctor replies

A man is having problems with his dick, which certainly had seen better times. He consults a doctor who,

Once there was this doctor that moved out to the country to become a farmer. He said to himself, "Well,

Little Johnny was a young boy, just potty trained. When he went to the bathroom though, he hit everything

A woman was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet."I want you to eat regularly for 2 days,

Ali married Aminah. Ali was so innocent that he did not know how to consummate the marriage (actually

A man went to see his doctor. "You need to stop

A Florida couple, both well into their 80s, go

There was this case in the hospital's Intensive

A Doctor was addressing a large audience: "The

One day Little Sally got her "monthly bleeding"

A man goes to his doctor for a complete checkup.

A woman visiting her doctorââ,¬â"¢s office

A man having trouble achieving an erection decides

A woman goes to see a psychiatrist. ââ,¬Å"Doctor,ââ,¬Â

A little old lady goes to the doctor and says,

A guy goes to his doctor because heââ,¬â"¢s

A brunette goes to the doctor and says, "Everywhere

Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctors office? A:

Q: What does the blonde say to the doctor when

Q: What did the gay midget doctor say to his patient? A:

A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never

A man dies and goes to Heaven. When he arrives

Two doctors opened an office in a small town. They

A British doctor, a German doctor and an American

A woman and a baby were in the doctorââ,¬â"¢s

A doctor is walking down the street and sees a

There was this guy who was sick,so he went to the

A lady walks into her doctors office screaming.

A 70-year-old man went to the doctor's for a physical.

Traditional Capitalism: You have two cows. You

A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered

A few days before his proctological exam, a one

Yo mama so ugly, when she was in labor the doctor

A man had a bad case of stuttering. He went to

A guy goes to his eye doctor for an examination.

A man goes to the doctor and gets a check up. The

Knock, knock Whoââ,¬â"¢s there? Sorry,

SICKNESS AND RELATED LEAVE: We will no longer

A young mother was having a consultation with a

"There are only two reasons to sit in the back

Years of straining with poopie-ing, we can only

A man was nervously pacing around the waiting room

A guy says, "Doc, you gotta help me. Every time

"Oh my god! A brunette walked into a doctor's office

A guy goes to see a doctor and when they get into

A woman goes to a plastic surgeon who specializes

You're so ugly, when you were born, the doctor

Doctor Dave slept with one of his patients and

A guy says, "Doctor, Doctor! Help me, I keep thinking

A woman is at a doctor's office. She begs the

Ram: Why are you drinking tea with the help of

My doctor is so funny - he keeps me in stiches!!!

Nurse: Doctor, Doctor, there's an invisible man

A GOOD ONE... enjoy. There was this case in the

Two guys were working at a sawmill one day when

A army doctor walked into a room to check on his

A blonde goes into a library and says, "Hello.

A man walks into his doctor's office and whines,

President George W. Bush is hit by a strong case

One day Lone Ranger and his side kick Tonto were

While suturing a laceration on the hand of a 90-year-old

A polish guy goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor,

A man walked into the office of the eminent psychiatrist

A woman goes to a psychiatrist and says, ''Doctor,

Little Johnny was playing with his father's wallet

These are excuse notes from parents (with their

Two guys are at the doctor's office, each has got

A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup.

There was a 80 year-old man that married a 21 year-old

This woman is rushed to the hospital in critical

A woman and her husband go to the doctor because

This middle-aged guy wakes up one morning and notices

A wealthy business man and his wife are looking

Three guys are in a doctor's office. One is a drunk,

Three Doctors are dicussing which types of patients

Q: Why did the gynecologist go to the eye doctor?

There was a lady, who had a dog that she loved,

A newly married hillbilly couple decided they wanted

An old woman goes to the doctor's office. The doctor

A woman goes to the hospital, and her doctor gives

A guy is going on an ocean cruise, and he tells

There was a woman who had very small breasts and

This guy goes to the doctors office and tells the

Howard had felt guilty all day long. No matter

There was a nintey-year-old lady who was still

One day, a man went into the doctor because he

There was this guy that went to the doctor to get

One day this guy goes in to the doctor's office

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" "A

A man with a fifty inch penis goes to the doctor

There was a man named Joe playing baseball on his

There was blonde who wanted to go on a diet. She

Sandra and her husband Jim are expecting a baby

A man on a plane asked the stewardess if he could

"Doctor, doctor! I need glasses!" "You certainly

There was an older man who'd married a younger

Show me a man that thinks baseball is the national

A woman goes to a doctor, and says, "Doctor I want

During WWII a fighter pilot was shot down over

You so ugly, when you were born the doctor smacked

A redneck felt sick and decided to go to the doctor.

A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing

A guy burned both of his ears... so they were asking

One day a man took his wife to the doctor and says,

The patient sat there looking ill and asked, ''Flu?''

One night, a father passed by his son's room and

A man was in the waiting room at the hospital,

A redneck takes his daughter to the doctor to get

A very old couple wanted to have children, so

Two doctors are in the hallway complaining about

A doctor, a nurse, and the top executive of an

A couple has been married for 50 years. One day

What is the name of the Russian Doctor who performs

There was a husband and a wife. The husband was

One guy had three balls, so he went to the doctor.

An old man goes to see the doctor and gets some

A man lying on a stretcher in the emergency room

A man notices a peculiar rash on his chest. The

A man went to the doctor to get a physical. After

"Doctor, everytime I sneeze I have an orgasm!" "Are

"Doctor! My wife has lost her voice. What can I

After a visit to the doctor, a man returns home

A lady shows up at her doctor's appointment. The

A lady with a frog stuck to her head comes to the

A woman goes to the gynecologist for the first

A woman went to the doctor's and complained of

An 80-year old man walks into the doctor's office

A blonde told her doctor that she was really worried

A man who was having heart trouble went to the

There was a baby born in the hospital and he weighed

So this lady goes to her doctor and explains that

A doctor notices a sidewalk stand that says 'brains

Doctor: I have good news and bad news. Patient:

Your butt so big, that when you were born, the

A guy went to the doctor to quit smoking, and the

Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth.

THE DOCTOR because he says ''take your clothes

A man goes to see the doctor and tells the doc

An eye doctor, a heart surgeon and an HMO executive

Woman: I have a problem. Doctor: Well, are you

One night, Sam went out drinking only to find the

Q: How many nurses does it take to change a light

One day Bill complained to his friend that his

When the nurse was bathing a female patient who

A man wakes up to find his dog, dead, lying next

Golfer: Notice any improvement since last year?

Three women were at the doctor's office for the

One day, Mr. Phillard rushed his pregnant wife

A newlywed couple arrives in their sumptuous honeymoon

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but

A guy goes into a doctor's office with a frog growing

This guy goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor shows

St. Peter was standing outside the gates of heaven

A group of doctors were at a convention in Switzerland.

An old man and a old lady went in the doctor's

A man and his son are in a car accident and are

There was a man who got into a car accident. He

A woman visits her physician. After waiting for

A guy walks into a doctor''s office. He has a

This old lady went to a doctor's office and told

Bertha was worried about her husband George, so

A concerned husband goes to see the family doctor

There was a woman who was interested in getting

There was this Indian chief who was straining to

You're so ugly that when you were born, the doctor

One day a group of husbands and wives went to a

An old man and his daughter go to the doctor for

A woman calls a clinic and says she hasn't been

A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly

A woman from Alabama, who knew absolutely nothing

Tarzan falls from his vine while he is swinging

One day, a man had an accident at work, which resulted

One day, a blonde went to the doctor's office with

A man and and a woman from Alabama don't want any

A man goes to a doctor for his annual prostate

Why did the gynecologist go to the eye doctor?

When a doctor is checking your prostate gland,

One day there was a 97 year old woman, who wanted

This lady goes to the doctor for a check up. When

An old lady's husband had just died and she felt

An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup

A man is having terrible headaches, he can't stand

There's a bunch of doctors gathered together at

One day, an old lady decided that she didn't want

A man sees a growth coming out from the center

There was a man whose elbow hurt so he told his

Hallo? Is this Giganta? Giganta Crotchetta? Oh,

A woman walks into a gynecologist's office for

A man and woman had a son but when he was born

A man went into a restaurant and ordered his meal.

A lady went to a plastic surgeon to see what he

A man walked into the doctor's office and said,

Yo mama is so fat, when she went to the doctor's

This elderly lady went to the doctor for a check-up.

A woman gives birth to a baby and afterward the

A married couple went to the hospital to have their

An old man goes to his doctor and says, “I

A woman pregnant with her first child paid a visit

A blonde goes to a doctor because both of her ears

A doctor at an (insane) asylum decided to take

Once an abnormal guy went to a doctor. His abnormality

A guy who has a stuttering problem says to his

A blonde lady nervously took her typewriter to

A young boy of four was going into hospital to

A doctor had the reputation of helping couples

ââ,¬Å"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a spoon.ââ,¬Â

A fat dude goes to his doctors, because he needed

The doctor tells the blonde, "you're pregnant!"

There was a successful doctor who had an office

The doctor was walking around checking by his patients

There were three men standing at the Pearly Gates

A man visits the doctor's because he has a severe

A blonde was having sharp pains in her side. The

One day, Moishe went to the doctor and the doctor

A man arrived at a small village in India, and

"Please remove your blouse and bra," says the doctor

Dan wakes up on Monday morning, staggers into the

A grade school teacher was asking students what

A dying man gathered his best friends - a lawyer,

Man visits doctor with apple stuck in mouth,

A young girl hadn't been feeling well, so she went

You're so ugly that when you were born the doctor

A guy walks into a doctor's office and says "Doc,

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what

A doctor, an engineer, a rabbi and a lawyer were

You lose arguments with inanimate objects. You

Yo mama's butt is so big, when her hemorrhoids

A man goes into a sperm bank and says, "I'd like

This guy is suffering from extereme abdominal pain

An elderly husband and wife noticed that they were

Jon and Dan were in a mental institution. This

There's a woman that has a big problem when it

There was a doctor that had been having sex with

A man and a woman were on a nude beach when a wasp

With a screech of brakes, an ambulance pulls up

With a screech of brakes, an ambulance pulls up

There was an old couple lying in bed watching TV

A man goes to his doctor and says, ''Doctor, Doctor,

Two elderly folks in a nursing home wanted to get

A man and his wife went to the doctor's office

Yo mama's so smelly, when you were being delivered,

Yo mama is so fat that when she was diagnosed with

The Doctor because he says, "Take off your clothes." The

"Doc," says Steve, "I want to be castrated." "What

A guy heard from his doctor that masturbating before

The wealthy, high-society mother of a 17-year-old

A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist.

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting

1. You lose arguments with inanimate objects.

A woman going through the change of life went to

Intelligence Test Instructions: Write each of

An 83-year old woman decided that she'd seen and

Joe was moderately successful in his career, but

A young couple were married and they were having

A big shot businessman had to spend a couple of

A pretty young blonde visiting her new doctor for

Aging Mildred was a 93 year-old woman who was particularly

70-year-old George went for his annual physical.

The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to

A little old lady goes to the doctor and says,

A man who was a little slow was visiting his wife

A man staggers into an emergency room with two

But Doctor, You HAVE To! In Turkey, Mehmet Esirgen, 52,

Three friends die in a car accident and they

A man decided to paint the toilet while his wife

There was a world famous painter who, in the prime

In the back woods of Arkansas, Mr. Stewart's wife

    In Lebanon, men are legally allowed

    Yes, it's hard to believe, but

''Doctor, my husband is 300% impotent!'' ''I'm

This old man in his eighties got up and was putting

A man went to visit his doctor. "Doc, my arm hurts

A frustrated wife got some Viagra for her husband.

One day two deaf-mutes meet on the street. They

A married couple went to the hospital to have their

Donny is a 17-year-old ninth grader who is becoming

A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed

A man goes to the doctor with a long history of

A couple, both age 67, went to a sex therapist's

A businessman returns from the far east. After

People are always on the lookout for a new diet.

Jack tells his doctor how he can no longer sustain

A married couple was in a terrible accident where

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's

One day, Jeffrey complained to his friend, "My

Charlie's wife, Lucy, had been after him for several weeks to paint the seat on their commode. Finally,

Dress Code: 1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. 2) If we see

A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses from a heart attack! "Help

"Doctor, my child has swallowed a magnet!" "Don't panic, the magnet should pass through his system

After his legs had been broken in an accident, Mr. Miller sued for damages, claiming that he was

An exhausted looking blonde dragged himself in to the doctor's office. "Doctor, there are dogs

Two doctors, a psychiatrist and a proctologist, opened an office in a small town and put up a sign

A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough

The old man in his mid-eighties struggles to get up from the couch then starts putting on his coat. His

A man was walking into the hospital for a routine examination the other day. Just as he reached the

A women accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the

A young woman was having a physical examination and was embarrassed because of a weight problem. As

INFORMATION YOU NEED TO HELP YOU CHOOSE YOUR NEXT HEALTH PLAN .. Q. What does HMO stand for? A.

A hunter was rushed into the emergency room with a bear trap clamped onto his testicles. As the horrified

A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older

A man took his old duck to the Doctor, concerned because the duck wouldn't eat. The Doctor explained

A man walks into a Doctors office and puts a note on the table in front of the Doctor. The note says:

A highway patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and

Way down in Louisiana, Boudreaux's old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come.

"I'm sorry doctor, I know this is unusual but I seem to have a lettuce stuck in my bottom!" "Good

This husband and wife were playing on the ninth green when she collapsed from a heart attack. "Please

Yesterday I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. My blood pressure was high, my cholesterol

A hillbilly was making his first visit to a hospital where his teenage son was about to have an operation. Watching

Dress Code: 1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. 2) If we see

A doctor goes out and buys the best car on the market, a brand new Ferrari GTO It is also the most

A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year old bride who is pregnant

After working most of her life Grandma finally retired. At her next checkup, the new doctor told her

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that

"Doctor," the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore. "Mr.

Last week my tie caught on fire. Some guy tried to put it out with an ax! I met the surgeon general.

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.'

An eighty year old man was having an annual physical. As the doctor was listening to his heart with

Barry returned from a doctor's visit one day and told his wife Carolyn that the doctor said he only

A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found

A motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the

Bubba went to a psychiatrist. "I've got problems. Everytime I go to bed I think there's somebody under

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings currently on display. "I've

A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor

As You Slide Down the Banister of Life, Remember: 1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an

Three men were drinking at a bar -- a doctor, an attorney and a biker. As the doctor was drinking

A woman sat in the waiting room when her octogenarian husband was in the examination room for his

Old Aunt Cora went to her doctor to see what could be done about her troublesome constipation. "It's

Did you hear about the optometrist who fell into a lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself? Doctors

Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization? Answer: Princess Diana's death. Question:

A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son

Panicking when her toddler swallowing a tiny magnet; my sister, Betty, rushed him to the emergency

A 93-year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband, decided that

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. It's tough

A man took his old duck to the Doctor, concerned because the duck wouldn't eat. The Doctor

Running Doe, a young Native American woman went to a doctor for her first ever physical exam. After

The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex. Worried the

An elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed his options with his doctor. The doctor

Mid-life is when you go to the doctor and you realize you are now so old, you have to pay someone

Rabbi Bernstein was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn from his body.

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow?

There was a midget down in Texas whose testicles ached almost all the time. The midget went to

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."

Deep in the back woods, of Letcher County Kentucky a hillbilly's wife went into labor in the middle

Three elderly men are at the doctor's office for a memory test. The doctor asks the first man, "What

A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor

Mrs. Ogden went to her doctor and said "Please give me a prescription for the Pill." "I don't think

A woman went to the doctor's office and was seen by one of the new young doctors. After about four

A couple, both bonafide Red necks, had nine children. They went to the doctor to see about getting

While suturing a laceration on the hand of a 90-year-old man, the doctor asked his patient how he thought

I, __________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely

A man took his old duck to the Doctor, concerned because the duck wouldn't eat. The Doctor explained

In case you have been waiting breathlessly for this year's Darwin Awards, here they are. The awards

A 90-year old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better... I have an 18-year old bride who is

No matter what you do or where you go, you're always going to be yourself. And Panexa knows this. Your

The old man in his mid-eighties struggles to get up from the couch then starts putting on his coat.

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage

History began some 12,000 years ago.(Actually, it was 40,000 years ago.) Humans existed as members

Ole vas vorking at da fish plant up nort in Dulut vhen he accidently cut off all ten off his fingers. He

Concerned about her relationship, a woman approaches her doctor and says "Doc, I'm getting married

Steve complained to his friend Al that lovemaking with his wife was becoming routine and boring. "Get

An elderly man goes into his doctors office for an annual physical. After a while, the doctor comes

- Your sister's a real knock-out. Is one of you adopted? - For the longest time I lived with a

Two doctors opened offices in a small town and put up a sign reading, "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Psychiatry

A couple in their nineties are BOTH having problems remembering things. They decide to go to the doctor

Q: How can you tell if a fax came from a blonde? A: It has a stamp on it. Q: Why do blondes have

--Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife

Your friend compliments you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot. You don't care

A big shot executive had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses

Way down in Louisiana, Bubba's old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come.

A young doctor had moved out to a small rural community to replace the retiring country doctor. The

A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds, and he entered a patient's room to find

The power mower was broken and wouldn't run. A lady kept hinting to her husband that he should get

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. 2. One tequila, two tequila, three

A man goes into hospital for a vasectomy. When he wakes up he's surrounded by several anxious looking

Mr. Smith goes to the doctor's office to get his wife's test results. The lab technician says to

A man went to a psychiatrist for his phobia. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get

A construction worker goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I'm constipated." The doctor examines

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man's face was severely burned. The doctor told

A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an examination to determine the

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and

A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and

Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers and prospered. Some

An overweight blonde consulted her doctor for advice. The doctor advised that she run 10 miles a day

A middle-aged woman seemed sheepish as she visited her gynecologist. "Come now," coaxed the doctor,

The veterinarian told the blonde that her dog needed some exercise. "You need to make sure this dog

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." Woody

In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the day. During that time we regret that you

Married Priests in Catholic Church a Long Time Coming Prosecutors Want Victim in Courtroom During

A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has

Ralph returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours

Johnny was working at the fish plant in Carbonear when he accidentally cut off all ten of his fingers.

1. Jesse Jackson, Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called "Ministers

Little Johnny 's next door neighbors had a baby. Unfortunately, the little baby was born with no ears. When

A three year old walked over to the pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office. He

An elderly man went to his doctor and said, "Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several times lately,

A cop stops a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. Since he's in a good mood that

Three guys were sitting in a bar talking. One was a doctor, one was a lawyer, and one was a biker.

So anyvay, late one night, Lena vakes Ole and says, "I tink its time!" So Ole fired up the Yohn Deere

A woman has had serious headaches for several years and has tried everything; been to several doctors

There was a midget down in Texas whose testicles hurt and ached almost all the time. The midget went

A mother of five decides to get plastic surgery on her privates so her husband can enjoy the snugness

A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff,

I promise you cannot read these and not laugh out loud! These are real notes written from parents

A week after their marriage, the Redneck newlyweds paid a visit to their doctor... "I can't figure

A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year-old bride who is

A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. "How

The Doctor said: "The good news is I can cure your headaches...The bad news is that it will require

"OLD" IS WHEN... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one,

A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had had happened to her ears?

Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical, only to find out that she's pregnant. She is furious...

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the

A Cajun named Thibideaux went to his doctor to determine the source of his malady. The doctor, After

Man Struck by Lightning faces Battery Charge Astronaut takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft Kids

A little girl was out with her Grandmother when they came across a couple of dogs mating on the sidewalk. "What

DRESS CODE It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you

These questions about Canada were posted on an international tourism website and obviously the answers

Ahmed came to the United States from Iraq, and was here only a few months when he became very ill.

This 80 year old woman thought she had the crabs, so she goes to the doctor. "Doctor I think I

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial

A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem doctor. Every time we're in bed

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a

A plastic surgeon invented a radical new face lift procedure and was explaining it to a prospective

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife

Morris complained to his friend Irving, that love making with his wife was becoming routine and boring. "Get

I had an appointment to see a urologist who shared an office with several other doctors. The waiting

A doctor is making his rounds in the hospital when he comes upon a guy with the worst case of sunburn

This little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with passing gas, but

A 75 year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar

A doctor was walking down the street one day when he noticed coming towards him one of his 85 year

A man returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours

Ben was working at the lumberyard one day, pushing a tree through the saw, when he accidentally cut

After dying in a car crash, three friends go to Heaven for orientation. They are all asked the same

A married couple went to he hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor

A DOCTOR at an asylum decided to take his inmates to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached

Three doctors were driving together to the hospital when they had an accident and all three died.

Doctor Joe had slept with one of his patients and had felt guilty all day long. No matter how

"Diane, I just don't understand?! I don't have a boyfriend or a husband, I can never get a date and

Doctor: "I see you're over a month late for your appointment. Don't you know that nervous disorders require

"You're in remarkable shape for a man your age," said the doctor to the ninety-year old man after

A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed. "Doc, you've got to help me. I can't

A woman went to her doctor for a follow-up visit after the doctor had prescribed testosterone (a male

"Doc," says Steve, "I want to be castrated." "What on earth for?" asks the doctor in amazement.

A man was sitting at home one evening, when the doorbell rang. When he answered the door, a 6 foot

A man is waiting for wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born

A lady is golfing with some friends. After sinking her first putt, she's on her way down the path

A man was constipated, so he decided to go to the doctor. The doctor examined him and explained, "I'm

A lecturer teaching medicine was tutoring a class on 'Observation'. He took out a jar of yellow-coloured

A man staggers into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a five

A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds, and he entered a patient's room to find

After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 2. Learn to work the toilet seat; if

A middle-aged woman seemed sheepish as she visited her gynecologist. "Come now," coaxed the doctor,

A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is away to paint the wooden toilet seat. The

A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn't been feeling well. The doctor examines him,

Two doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining about Nurse Jenny. "She's incredibly dumb.

A pregnant Irish woman from Dublin is involved in a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep

An American tourist goes on a trip to China. While in China, he is very sexually promiscuous and

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room where their family member lay gravely

A brunette goes to the doctor, and says to him "Doctor I'm hurting all over my body." "That's

A streetwalker was visiting her doctor for a regular check-up. "Any specific problems you should

One night, a father passed by his son's room and heard his son praying: "God bless Mommy, Daddy, and

A man tells a doctor, "I think my wife's going deaf. What can I do?" The doctor says, "Well, try

A man was visiting his wife in hospital where she has been in a coma for several years. On this visit

A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterward the doctor

Three elderly men are at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor says to the first man, "What is three

A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for

A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts in the mirror. He asks, "What are

Mr. Smith goes to the doctor's office to collect his wife's test results. The lab tech says to him,

There was a man with a daughter, son, and a wife. The man and his wife were not having very good sex

Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was

A brunette went to the doctors. "Doctor," she said. "Help me. I hurt all over." "Sit down," said

A young mother paying a visit to a doctor friend and his wife made no attempt to restrain her five-year-old

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.

A man walked into a crowded doctor's office. As he approached the desk, the receptionist asked, "Yes

Three ladies sitting in a doctors office. One says "I'm gonna have a boy cause my husband was on

A baby was born with the ability to talk. The first thing he said when he was born was, "Are you

A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain. "Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor. "You

A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. "You aren't so good in bed either!"

A man has a heart attack and is brought to the hospital ER. The doctor tells him that he will not live

A guy went to his doctor full of anger. "Doc," he said, "I feel like killing my wife. You've got to

In the back woods of Kentucky, the redneck's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the

A country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out, there was no

A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself. "You don't have to let your wife

A woman is becoming increasingly worried that she might never find a mate. She wonders if there is

An elderly couple, still very loving after all these years, is shocked when the woman's doctor says

John and David were both patients in a Mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital

A man with a bad stomach complaint goes to his doctor and asks him what he can do. The doctor replies

During her annual checkup, the well-constructed miss was asked to disrobe and climb onto the examining

Five doctors went duck hunting one day. Included in the group were a GP, a pediatrician, a psychiatrist,

Aging Mildred was a 93 year old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her

A woman took her dog to the vet. She said, "I think my dog is dead". The doctor laid the dog on the

There was a great eruption of a south sea island volcano, and the witch doctor appealed to the tribal

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the

Two doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining about nurse Jenny. "She's incredibly dumb.

A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red

A cute little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor

A lady was in the delivery room starting to deliver her baby. As the head came out it was dark

Tommy is a young boy, just potty trained. When he goes to the bathroom though, Tommy manages to

A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there.

A doctor, and engineer, a rabbi and a lawyer were debating who was the world's first professional. The

A man walked into a therapists office looking very depressed, "Doc, you've got to help me. I can't

A man walked into a crowded doctor's office. As he approached the desk, the receptionist asked, "Yes