dollars

A man walks into a bank,yells at the old lady at the teller window, he needs to open a "fuckin bank account".

Michael Jordan made over $300,000 a game. That equals $10,000 a minute, at an average of 30 minutes per

A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him. As he sits down, the bartender comes over and

One morning a woman was walking out of her front door, when she notices a strange little man at the bottom

Harry and his wife are driving in the country when

One day a man walks into a tatoo parlor and tells

A man walks into a bar and orders shots for the

A blonde and a lawyer sit next to each other on

A man climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai and gets close

A young man goes out and buys the best car on the

While going through his wifeââ,¬â"¢s dresser

Saddam Hussein and George Bush are seated next

There was a guy who worked for Blockbuster video.

A truck driver had a 2 day lay-over during the

Two guys are drinking together, when one of them

This guy walks into a bar near a concert hall with

Dear U.S. Citizens, I have the distinguished honor

A guy is walking along the strip in Las Vegas and

There was this nouveau riche blond girl, who went

A 13 year-old old paperboy knocks on the door of

A woman goes into a adult toy shop to buy a dildo.

Bill and Ned walk into a fast food joint one afternoon

What is the top prize in the Blonde Lottery? 20

A business man is trying to find a potental wife.

A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the

There was an old man named Bozo, and all he had

Q: Why is it a good idea to tattoo a $100 bill

Two sisters, a blonde and a brunette, inherit the

Once upon a time there was a 98-year old woman

There was a woman and her husband. They were happily

There was an old lady and her dog who lived on

A scientist gets on a train to go to New York.

This guy who works at a pickle factory comes home

One day, a wife goes up to her husband and asks

An owner offered one hundred dollars to anyone

Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the state fair

Three guys go to a hotel. They tell the man behind

Father Murphy was a very poor priest in a very

A man walks into a whorehouse and hands the madam

A young woman experienced car trouble late one

A man wakes up to find his dog, dead, lying next

Three guys are in a strip club. One guy walks over

A man asked God how much a million dollars was

Once there was a farmer. He had two teenage sons.

Bill Clinton is out jogging around in some of

One day a man was planting flowers outside his

A couple was golfing one day on a very, very exclusive

A man was selling his brand-new luxury car for

One day a group of husbands and wives went to a

10.) ''We have a lost child at gate D-4, the bidding

One day a little girl came running into her house

A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking

One day, a fairy visits a lonely widow and says

So this guy walks into a whorehouse and asks the

Two bored casino dealers were waiting at the craps

There was a man whose elbow hurt so he told his

There was a guy walking down the street in San

A blonde co-ed is looking at a bulletin board and

A guy is drinking in a bar, and the bartender asks

Grandfather and grandson, on a stroll on their

Once there was a farmer with three sons. One day

There was a father and son who went on a fishing

There once was a man named Joe and he was talking

1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your

These three guys are out having a relaxing day

A man once went to a ten-dollar hooker. But he

A couple has just finished having sex. They ALWAYS

A salesman from KFC walked up to the Pope and offers

Back when Bill Clinton and Hillary got married

Terrorists hijack a plane full of lawyers. They

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves

One day Bill Clinton decides to go on a jog. While

Did you hear about the Alabama Lottery? You can

A little old lady goes into the Chase Manhattan

A man walked into a lawyer's office and inquired

A new guy in town walks into a bar and notices

      AT&T fired President John

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to

A kid comes home from school with a writing assignment.

One day, a bus driver is on his route, when he

A man walks into a bar and says, "Excuse me,

Harry and his wife are having hard financial times,

After a Christmas break, a teacher asked her young

Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up?! AT&T

This guy is not getting along so well with his

A guy goes into a tattoo parlor and asks for a

$ Michael Jordan having "retired,"

One day two deaf-mutes meet on the street. They

A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job

Two lawyers, Bob and Bill, were having a heated exchange during a trial. The judge asked both lawyers

A man and his wife were having an argument in bed. After the husband had finally had enough, he jumped up

Jose and Carlos are panhandlers......They panhandle in different areas of town. Carlos panhandles

On his way out of church after mass, Frank stopped at the door to speak to the minister. "Would it

A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial troubles. Coincidentally,

An elderly couple who were childhood sweethearts had married & settled down in their old neighborhood.

A doctor goes out and buys the best car on the market, a brand new Ferrari GTO It is also the most

Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, "Esther,

Congress Votes to Outsource Presidency, Washington, DC (AP) Congress today announced that the office

A guy receives an ad in the mail for a golf resort where everything costs one dollar. He jumps at the

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.'

A fifteen year-old boy came home with a new Chevrolet Avalanche and his parents began to yell and scream,

Bubba went to a psychiatrist. "I've got problems. Everytime I go to bed I think there's somebody under

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks for their orders.

A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the

# 10 Life is sexually transmitted. # 9 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which

A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the

Young Chuck, moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver

Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his

A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Mr.Smith. He delivered the pizza to his trailer.

On his way out of church, Frank stopped at the door to speak to the minister. "Would it be right,"

WASHINGTON, D.C. - A white house source stated that Congress is considering awarding Vice-President

Dear Dogs and Cats, The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes

Grandpa watched Tommy pull a worm out of the ground and told him that he would give him 10 bucks if

An elderly couple who were childhood sweethearts had married & settled down in their old neighborhood. To

Dear Husband: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been

A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100.00. The farmer

A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. As he sits, the waitress comes

A man went to a psychiatrist for his phobia. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get

A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the

A woman was chatting with her next-door neighbor. "I feel really good today. I started out this morning

Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God. Looking up, he asks the

Alabama: Yes, We Have Electricity Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong! Arizona: But It's A

A little boy was playing with a worm one day at his grandpa's house. Grandpa jokingly tells the young

A man is in a bar and has one too many drinks. This beautiful lady sits down next to him. He turns

A lawyer is sitting in a bar having a drink when a beautiful women sits down next to him. The lawyer

A man enters his favorite ritzy restaurant and while sitting at his regular table, he notices a gorgeous

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. Gardening

A man was walking in the city, when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking bum

Jack has died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Jack's Last Will and Testament. "To

A man worked in a post office. His job was to process all mail that had illegible addresses. One

Johnny and his wife went to the State Fair every year. Every year Johnny would say, "I'd like to ride

3 contractors are in a bar after work enjoying a cold one, when a truck crashes into the bar killing

(Internal Revenue Service, an agency of the government to whom Americans pay taxes on their salary.) --Always

One day, while Sue was cleaning under the bed, she found a small box. Curious, she opened it and found

A fifteen year-old boy came home with a Porsche and his parents began to scream, "Where did you get

Little Johnny comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. "Dad,

Paul was ambling through a crowded street fair when he decided to stop and sit at a Palm Reader's

Bill Clinton took a jog near his new home in Chappaqua. And on each run, he happened to jog past a

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few

A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate what I do

This guy sees a sign in front of a house "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells

Two bored casino dealers were waiting at a craps table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and

A hip young man goes out and buys the best car available: a 1999 Ferrari GTO. It is also most expensive

A couple were golfing one day on a very exclusive golf course, lined with million-dollar houses.

A local preacher was dissatisfied with the small amount in the collection plates each Sunday. Someone

Never before had Sue looked in the box that her husband Fred kept under their bed. The box had been

The parish was very poor and the priest tried everything he could to raise money. But the Bingo

A streetwalker was visiting her doctor for a regular check-up. "Any specific problems you should

A gorgeous young woman gets into a taxi one day. On the way, the cabby asks her, "Hey baby, would

A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine-year-old son

A man was walking through a forest pondering life. He walked, pondered, walked, and pondered. He felt

One day long ago, a man and woman got married. The man told the woman that there would always be a

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his expensive wool

Bill and Moe had started with only five hundred dollars between them, but they had built up a computer

A man went to a brain store to get some brain for dinner. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of

One day, a man walks into a dentist's office and asks how much it will cost to extract wisdom teeth. "Eighty

A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop somewhere in Washington DC. Picking through the objects

The Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walks into a room to meet with his accountant. The Godfather

A policeman pulled a car over and told the driver he had won $5,000 dollars in the seatbelt competition.

Back in the old Wild West, there were two blond cowpokes, Jeff and Dave. One day, the two were enjoying

"I can let you have this top-of-the-line stereo for nine hundred dollars, minus six percent for cash,"

A blonde and a brunette are running a ranch together in Louisiana. They decide they need a bull to