doors

Original List aged 20: 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5.

There was this little boy about 12 years old walking down the sidewalk dragging a flattened frog on a

At a seminar called "Stress and Disease" by Dr. Nickolas Hall, an expert in psychobiology, gave an example

In a small airplane there were four people: the pilot, the Pope, Bill Gates and a hitchhiker. They were

Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving

One day in the middle of the desert a man's car

1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead

An Amish woman and her son are walking through

There once was a lowly snail, who was busily crawling

You'd better watch out, You'd better not cry, You'd

An old cowhand came riding into town on a hot,

I. Know that although the cat has the advantage

Original List (age 22): 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3.

This woman is rushed to the hospital in critical

A man, whose level of drunkenness was bordering

Two guys are committing a robbery. One of them

God created earth, and it was good. Then God created

There once was a young man named Billy Bob. Now,

There is a accordion player driving home from a

What do blondes and screen doors have in common?

What''s black, white, red all over, and doesn''t

The Alaska Department of Fish and Game recently

If you throw a party, the worst thing you can do

A soldier at the Pentagon got out of the shower,

How are a blonde's legs like automatic doors? You

Yo mama's so stupid, her idea of safe sex is to

One day in a small redneck town in the middle of

The Perfect Dump -- Every once in a while, each

Q: Why does a chicken coop have only two doors?

* Take shopping carts for the express purpose of

1. When the elevator doors close, exclaim loudly

1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your

An atomic bomb went off in Washington and everyone

In prison you spend the majority of your time in

A haggard old lady is riding in a posh hotel's

1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or

President Clinton opened doors for future presidents.

'Twas the night before crisis, And behind White

I consider Wal-Mart to be God's gift to shoppers.Ã, 

Run one lap around the office at top speed

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul

A US Air Force C-141 is scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland at midnight. During the pilot's

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover

In the past, employees were permitted to make trips to the restroom under informal guidelines. Effective

I was trying to get my seventh-grade history class to understand how the Indians must have felt when

Bad Metaphors from Stupid Student Essays (actually these are mostly similes, see Literary Terms) Her

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's

10. The water-proof towel 9. Glow in the dark sunglasses 8. Solar powered flashlights 7. Submarine

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow?

In light of the rising frequency of human - grizzly bear conflicts, the Alaska Department of Fish

Try this... On your way home from work, stop at a pharmacy and purchase a rectal thermometer made

WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (the actual AP headline) Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego,

From: Chief of Operations Subject: Proper Narrative Descriptions It has come to our attention from

Married Priests in Catholic Church a Long Time Coming Prosecutors Want Victim in Courtroom During

1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me.

Here's why . According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 40's,

A US Air Force C-141 was scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland at midnight. During the pilot's

Description Missus manifests as a female humanoid providing cooking/cleaning features, and a sitting-room/TV

Man Struck by Lightning faces Battery Charge Astronaut takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft Kids

One evening a father overheard his son saying his prayers "God bless Mommy, Daddy and Grammy. Goodbye

IN PRISON...You spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell. AT WORK....You spend most of your

You might be a Redneck Jedi if..... you ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all." your

The world's first fully computerized airliner was ready for its maiden flight without pilots or crew.

A young man was delighted to finally be asked home to meet the parents. He was quite nervous about

An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had

The old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day. The local sheriff watched from his

An airline captain was helping a new blonde flight attendant prepare for her first overnight trip. Upon