entire

- How do you define optimism? - A banker who irons five shirts on a Sunday. - What is the diffrence

DOS Beer: Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the directions carefully

A business man met a beautiful girl and asked her to spend the night with him for $500. And she did.Before

A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater. When the usher came by and noticed

After gaining a small family inheritance, a redneck family was visiting a mall. The father and son were

A husband and wife came for counseling after 20

Q: What's red, white and blue and makes the entire

Q: What's red, white and blue and makes the entire

What did the groupie get sleeping with the entire

Nervous Taxi Driver A passenger in a taxi leaned

A young punk gets on a bus and sits down in directly

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy

SICKNESS AND RELATED LEAVE: We will no longer

My genitals are so gigantic, and yours so woefully

1. ââ,¬Å"If my heart were a baked potato,

An English professor told her students that there

* Silicon-enhanced chests and lips reveal that

You're convinced that chirping birds are Satan's

The bumper sticker on your car reads: "What Would

Fail a class? Drop one too many? Don't worry about

Old Mrs. Watkins awoke one spring morning to find

* Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people

1. People who point at their wrist while asking

12. In the Star Wars universe, weapons are rarely,

How To Shower Like A Woman... * Take off clothing

All drivers for Red Ball Express had orders to

A doctor, a nurse, and the top executive of an

A farm boy who had just finished his schooling

Three rabbits escape from a testing lab and find

How many perverts does it take to put in a light

Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the state fair

Three sons left home to make their fortunes, and

Dear Santa: You must be surprised that I am writing

Yo mama is so fat that she walked in front of the

A man goes to see the doctor and tells the doc

A woman goes over to her married son's house and

1. Everybody assumes you're an asshole 2. Racism

Two men were out fishing, when they found a lamp

* Take shopping carts for the express purpose of

A man was sprawled across three entire seats in

A groom passes down the aisle of the church to

What is the difference between a calf's tail and

Once upon a time there were three men lost in a

Bob, a lawyer, was driving home over the Golden

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender if

These three guys are out having a relaxing day

There are approximately two billion children (persons

A dying man gathered his best friends - a lawyer,

An American woman of 40 wants to get married, but

Dear Tide, I have always used your product

A minister has just died and is standing in line

1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment

I'm sitting on this plane, eating my dinner, when

''Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!'' ''That's

   As you grow older, what lost

Breakfast: 1/2 grapefruit 1 slice whole wheat

NAME: "Expecteria Trouserius" (Trouser Snake) LOCATION:

I want to be a kid again. I want to go back to

Big Busted Women -can get a taxi on the worst

Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are

    The following information was

    For all you guys out there who

Our Rights: The following was written by State

    13> Driving your fellow Congressman

A young punk gets on the cross-town bus. He's got

If you want someone who will bring you the paper without first tearing it apart to remove the sports

Dress Code: 1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. 2) If we see

Find out what those dating terms really mean ATTRACTION..... the act of associating horniness with

A man boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crab. A female crew member took the

The George W Bush Presidential Lie-berry is now in the planning stages. You'll want to be the first

The owner of a drugstore walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall with an odd look on

It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new

A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500. They did their

In the past, employees were permitted to make trips to the restroom under informal guidelines. Effective

Yesterday I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. My blood pressure was high, my cholesterol

Dress Code: 1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. 2) If we see

In a small mid western conservative town, a new bar/tavern started a building to open up their business.

Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, "Esther,

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your

1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play - normally one club and two balls. 2. Play

Dear Mrs. Fenton, Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been causing quite

Bill and Hillary are at a Yankees home game, sitting in the first row, With the Secret Service people

Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor

This not a widely known fact, mainly because of the little-known popularity of the celebrity involved.

A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up. One is a good looking, older retired

Take Care of the Big Rocks First A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in

As a court clerk, I am well-versed in the jury-selection process. First a computer randomly selects

Smart Ass Answer #5: A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As

On a given night, 2 death row inmates are scheduled to be electrocuted on old sparky. While one execution

Tired of being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decides to solve both problems

for All Those Men Who Say, " Why Buy The Cow When You Get The Milk For Free" Here's An Update For

1.) Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2.) If

I. There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa

Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers and prospered. Some

One day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday, she will

The story behind the letter below is that there is this nutball in Newport, Rhode Island named Scott

A biker stopped by the local Harley Shop to have his bike repaired. They couldn't do the work while

Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. Having sex in a twin bed is out

Essential NEW WORDS FOR 2004 editions for the work-place vocabulary: BLAMESTORMING Sitting around

This is the best lawyer story of the year, decade, and probably the century. A Charlotte, NC, lawyer

12. Specifications are for the weak and timid! 11. This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against wall. The owner asks the

This is a test for men only and all "real men" will answer "C" to all of these questions. However,

Johnny and his wife went to the State Fair every year. Every year Johnny would say, "I'd like to ride

DRESS CODE It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you

The stockbroker received notice from the IRS that he was being audited. He showed up at the appointed

An entire new strain of viruses has just been uncovered and we wanted to get this information to you

An American woman of 40 wants to get married, but she is only willing to marry a man if he has never

Bob, a lawyer, was driving home over the Golden Gate Bridge after spending a great day on the ocean

A preacher was telling his congregation that anything they could think of, old or new, was discussed

Add It Up: Relationship Guide For all you guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is:

The ambassador of a small African nation chanced to visit Russia, and was entertained by his opposite

There was a zebra who had lived her entire life in a zoo and was getting on in age so the zoo keeper

A blonde who's down on her luck is walking through a luxurious neighbourhood looking for odd jobs to

ATTRACTION - the act of associating horniness with a particular person. LOVE AT 1st SIGHT - what

Two men were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freight vessel. While

A man walks into a bar and orders a 12-year-old scotch. The bartender, believing that the customer

A young punk gets on the cross town bus and sits down in the only vacant seat, directly across from

One day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday, she will

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his expensive wool

A man left work one Friday afternoon. But, it being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the

During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move

Hank was amazed at the length of the funeral procession going down Main Street. Watching awhile he

The cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the theater. When the usher came by and noticed

Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed