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GUARANTEED WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM

A man was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lbs. due to very serious health risks. As he wondered how

Vodka Wish

A Russian is strolling down the street in Moscow and kicks a bottle laying in the street. Suddenly out

Jack Off

An executive was stessed out. He had to fire one

10 Reasons You Know You Bought a Bad Computer

1. Lower corner of screen has the words "Etch-a-sketch"

Iraqi Law

I saw an interview in which an expert on military

Benifits of Being an Athiest

A very religious man lived right next door to an

Martha Stewart's Holiday To-Do List

December 1 - Blanch carcass from Thanksgiving turkey.

Sailors and Soldiers Should Be Friends!

A Navy man and an Army man are driving opposite

Birth Signs

AQUARIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 18) You have an inventive

Astrological Signs

ARIES (Mar 21-Apr 19) You are the pioneer type

Golf Lessons

A husband and a wife want to take golf lessons

Nerd Sayings Galore

1. Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.

True Newspaper Clippings

1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer AMANA

Executive Decision

An executive was in a bind. He had to get rid

Welfare Job

Do you know someone like this? A guy walks into the local welfare office for his monthly check.

Advice from Men to Women

Never buy a 'new' brand of beer because 'it was on sale.' If we're in the backyard and the TV in

Becoming Illegal

(Actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his senator) The Honorable Tom Harkin 731 Hart

Nice Pigs

Last Tuesday, as President Bush got off the Helicopter in front of the White House, he was carrying

Annual Physical

A woman sat in the waiting room when her octogenarian husband was in the examination room for his

Losing Weight

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock

Classic Questions About Australia

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow?

Real Ads

1. Illiterate? Write today for free help. 2. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try

Actual Lines from Resumes

I am very detail-oreinted. My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability

Ryan's Bar

An Irishman an Englishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a bar in Sydney. The view was fantastic,

State Slogans

Alabama: Yes, We Have Electricity Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong! Arizona: But It's A

Weight Loss Program

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a

Life Across The USA

You live in Arizona when.. 1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade. 2. You

What is the Fastest Thing?

An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through

Stopped Going

A pious man who had reached the age of 105 suddenly stopped going to synagogue. Alarmed by the old

Cows: With a New Twist

DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You

Best Excuses for Not Going to Work

1.) "If it is all the same to you I won't be coming in to work. The voices told me to clean all

Chili taster named Frank

For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how TRUE this is! They actually have a chili

Policemen in Heaven

St Peter is standing at heaven's gate when a man walks up. "Welcome to heaven my son. What did you

Run-down Farm

A farmer purchases an old, run-down, abandoned farm with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise.