feeling

The big-game hunter walked into the bar and bragged to everyone about his skills as a hunter. The man

A man and his wife were working in their garden one day and the man looks over at his wife and says:"Your

TO: All employeesFROM: The bossDATE: August 3, 2000RE: Foul LanguageIt has been brought to management's

Two weeks ago was my 45th birthday, and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went to breakfast

A Texas business man, while in Japan for some business meetings and a few rounds of golf, arrived in

Farmer Joe was suing a trucking company for injuries sustained in an accident. In court, the company's

A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window.A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong, mean-looking,

Superman is flying around one day and he's feeling kinda horny. So he finds Batman sitting on top of

A husband and wife came for counseling after 20

A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came

A gentleman on a flight to Atlanta had a serious

Two lawyers are leaving the office. ââ,¬Å"I

A man goes to his doctor for a complete checkup.

Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctors office? A:

A young man goes out and buys the best car on the

Adam was in the Garden of Eden feeling lonely when

A blonde began a job as an elementary school counselor

1. ââ,¬Å"If my heart were a baked potato,

Years of straining with poopie-ing, we can only

You've lost the feeling below your ankles. When

Don't Say This to Your New Girlfriend's Parents... 1.

While walking home from work one day, Frank saw

A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the

One night a man rolls over in bed and gives his

Once upon a workday dreary, my stomach grumbled

Two weeks ago was my forty-fifth birthday, and

10) You wake up at 3 am to go to the bathroom,

"Hey, how's your face feeling?" "Fine. Why?" "Because

Johnny comes back from school crying and says,

There was a young lady from Ealing, who had a peculiar

In class one day, Mr. Johnson pulled Johnny over

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent

A ventriloquist is sitting onstage at a comedy

A man strolls into a pharmacy and asks the assistant

The other day I saw a ''Honk if you love Jesus''

THINGY (thing-ee) n. For a female: Any part under

Q: My fiancee still has feelings for his old girlfriends.

Barbara Walters was doing a documentary on the

There is a accordion player driving home from a

(Setting: A furious lightsaber duel is underway.

A woman walks into a bar and orders a drink. A

There was a guy that was stranded on an island.

An older single woman was shopping at the grocery

An old woman walked into a bank and asked for the

A couple had been married 10 years. One afternoon,

An 80-year old man walks into the doctor's office

One day MR. GOODBAR was feeling horny. So he went

A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday.

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms.

The Seven Dwarfs were sitting in a tub feeling

One day, a blonde went to the doctor's office with

Always take the time to smell the roses... and

An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup

Did you hear about the depressed proctologist?

There was a man who was drivivng down the road

You wake up face down on the pavement. You

Impotence is nature's way of saying no hard feelings.

A fellow walks into a bar very down on himself.

A dying man gathered his best friends - a lawyer,

Man visits doctor with apple stuck in mouth,

A young girl hadn't been feeling well, so she went

Saturday 1:00 A.M. Alarm clock rings. 2:00

The boss is finally old enough to retire from the

On Father's Day, a little boy decides to make his

Two airplane mechanics named Bob and Tim work at

    A couple go to Mexico City for

As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get

   As you grow older, what lost

Joe was moderately successful in his career, but

This is from an actual trial in the UK.    

The Atlanta School Board, feeling left out by the

A man comes home with his little daughter, whom

    Psychologists have discovered

This should be sung to the tune "A Few of

Ru Paul, Bill Gates, and Roger Ebert are all struck

A married couple went to the hospital to have their

Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are

Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling

Find out what those dating terms really mean ATTRACTION..... the act of associating horniness with

Next time you have a bad day at work...think of this guy: Rob is a commercial saturation diver for

A man and his wife were having an argument in bed. After the husband had finally had enough, he jumped up

An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution for a client

Michael was feeling ill at work, and left after lunch to go home. He walked into the house and found

A guy had been feeling down for so long that he finally decided to seek the aid of a psychiatrist.

A man went on a business trip to China and wanted to buy some gifts for his kids. He went to a shop

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company,

A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older

A highway patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and

A lady is throwing a party for her granddaughter, and had gone all out..... a caterer, band, and a

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the

A doctor goes out and buys the best car on the market, a brand new Ferrari GTO It is also the most

A man and his wife were working in their garden 1 day and the man looks over at his wife and says

A man was sitting at a bar when he noticed a pirate walk in the front door. The pirate had a peg leg, a

A Japanese company ( Toyota ) and an American company (General Motors decided to have a canoe race

Grandma's letter; She is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes: Dear

Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age? Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old. Defense

A motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated

A husband and wife came for counselling after 25 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was,

Even if you aren't a skier, you'll be able to appreciate the humor of the slopes as written by a New

A newlywed couple returned to their apartment after being on their honeymoon. "Care to go upstairs

To all Employees: It has been brought to Management's attention that some individuals throughout

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss, But I only slept with you, because I was pissed. I

Father Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early

A police officer, though scheduled for all-night duty at the station, was relieved of duty early

Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor

A young girl on a year's training course in South Africa recently received a "Dear John" letter from her

1. The patient refused autopsy. 2. The patient has no previous history of suicides. 3. Patient

A big shot executive had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses

A young doctor had moved out to a small rural community to replace the retiring country doctor. The

Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car. When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle.

The Reverend Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company

Adam was hanging around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely. So, God asked him, "What's wrong

A gentleman was just out of surgery for a appendicitus. His wife sat calmly beside him holding his

George Carlin Speaks Out... I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George Carlin. I

George W. Bush and his veep running mate, Dick Cheney were talking, when George W. said, "I hate all

THINGY (thing-ee) n. female: Any part under a car's hood. male: The strap fastener on a woman's

A man decides to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the

The story behind the letter below is that there is this nutball in Newport, Rhode Island named Scott

Picture yourself near a stream. Birds are softly chirping in the crisp, cool, mountain air.

A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she is staying home because she is not feeling

Redmond, WA - Microsoft Corporation has reconfirmed its commitment to bringing the "total PC experience"

Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks you are an ass. Impotence...Nature's way of saying

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs to be alert and stay cautious

A small tourist hotel was all abuzz about an afternoon wedding where the groom was 95 years old and

A friend just got back from a holiday ski trip to Utah with the kind of story that warms the cockles

Two weeks ago was my 45th birthday and I wasn't feeling too good that morning. I went to breakfast

FINE This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to

An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through

A Cajun named Thibideaux went to his doctor to determine the source of his malady. The doctor, After

This is a test for men only and all "real men" will answer "C" to all of these questions. However,

A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back and

18. If you can't feed 'em, don't breed 'em!" 17. Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks

The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of

A young woman who had been married for several years was growing more and more frustrated at her husband's

A company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid

A man was feeling very depressed and walked into a bar and ordered a triple scotch whiskey. As the

A married couple went to he hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor

This lady is giving a party for her granddaughter, and has gone all out. She had a caterer, band,

While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear

A man and his wife were working in their garden one day and the man looks over at his wife and says:

A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn't been feeling well. The doctor examines him,

ATTRACTION - the act of associating horniness with a particular person. LOVE AT 1st SIGHT - what

A man walks into a bar and orders a 12-year-old scotch. The bartender, believing that the customer

A blind rabbit and a blind snake meet each other. Neither one remembers what kind of animal they are,

A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterward the doctor

A bear is sitting in the middle of a forest taking the biggest shit of his life and feeling dam good

Three men are sitting naked in the sauna. Suddenly there is a beeping sound. The first man presses

John was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about

A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant opened by a fellow cannibal. Feeling

An old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called his lawyer. "I want to become

Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, "What is wrong with

A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $ 5,000 and feels really good about the

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss concerned about all his employees well