Jokes
50th Wedding Anniversary
An elderly couple were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary, so they decided to return to the little
A Horny Superman
Superman is flying around one day and he's feeling kinda horny. So he finds Batman sitting on top of
Bill and Hillary
Bill Clinton and Senator Hillary Clinton were at
Three Kicks
A big-city California lawyer went duck hunting
Nine Comments to Take Back
Here are the top nine comments made by sports commentators
An tragedy, and accident, and a great loss
George W. Bush is visiting a primary school and
Xtreme Makeovers
Three Texas plastic surgeons were playing golf
Plastic Surgery Miracles
Three Texas plastic surgeons were playing golf
Change Up
The president and Mrs. Bush are in the front row
Blank Willow
A man was walking through the forest, when he suddenly
For my next trick...
Q: Did you hear about the magic tractor? A: It
What Are Metaphors?
Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving
There was a farmer who grew watermelons.
There was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was
Words Of Wisdom, Graduates!
FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS, CLASS OF 2003! First of all
E-vil
A woman arrives at the Pearly Gates and finds St.
A woman wearing a strapless gown and ...
A woman wearing a strapless gown and sporting a
America has finally captured Saddam ...
America has finally captured Saddam Hussein! They
Name Those Tracks
Two gorgeous blonde biologists were in the field
Soccer Blonde
A blonde began a job as an elementary school counselor
Mad Cows
Two cows were talking in the field. One cow says,
Splish Splash Through the Field
A blond was driving along a country road, listening
Redneck Engineering Exam
1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon
English Rugby
The England team's training session was delayed
Blonde Rows of Corn
A blonde is driving along a deserted country road
One day Adam and Eve notice God...
One day Adam and Eve notice God standing before
Bill Clinton and Senator Hillary Clinton...
Bill Clinton and Senator Hillary Clinton were at
How To Bathe A Cat
I. Know that although the cat has the advantage
Chicken on the Football Field
Why did the chicken run onto the football field? Because
Yogi Berra Quotes
"Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise
Baseball Field
What goes all the way around a baseball field but
The Clever Famer
Q: Why did the farmer plough his field with a steamroller?
The Bear Hunter
A group of men go up into the mountains to go bear
Sex-Crazed Cock
One day, a farmer decides to buy a new rooster
Bubba Gets Smart
Bubba was Alabama's star lineman. He was great
Gaptooth
The gap between your teeth is so big, I don't know
The Golden Fiddle
A pilot was forced to make a crash landing in a
Grizzly Bear Warning
The Alaska Department of Fish and Game recently
He Has Four Balls
A man went to England on a trip and met a woman
Rabbit Breakout
Three rabbits escape from a testing lab and find
Corny
Do you know what's corny? A field of corn!
Tyson's Manners
Mike Tyson finally apologized to Holyfield for
The Soldier
There was a soldier that enlisted in the army to
Tyson-Holyfield III
Promo: Yes, folks it was a bite to the finish.
Field Goal Block
Two guys are at their house. They decide to play
Punny Pun Pun
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but
Unwanted Fruit
Three men were on a road trip. their car broke
Blonde in a Boat
There was a blonde driving down the road one day.
A Cork Radio Station
A Cork, Ireland radio station was holding an on-air
Ten Husbands, Still a Virgin
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced
69 Things to do in Wal-Mart
* Take shopping carts for the express purpose of
Definition of Suspicious
What is the definition of suspicious? A nun
Holy Cow
One day the farmer walked out to his field to feed
That is a Curious Collar
A farmer has to go out to plow his rental field
Material Safety Data Sheet
Element: Woman Symbol: Wo Discoverer: Adam
Jets Fans, Beware
A guy walks into a bar with his pet dog. The
Murphy's Laws of Combat
* If the enemy is in range, so are you Incoming
What A Wheat-y Blond Joke
Two dumb blondes were driving through the middle
Mad Cow!
There are two cows in a field. One says to the
Little Kid's Books
'You Were an Accident' 'Strangers Have the Best
Stupid, Stupid People
AT&T fired President John
Year 2000 Interview With Jesus
Due to widespread panic about the Y2K bug, Internet
You Know You're From Michigan When...
1) You define summer as three months of bad
More True-Life Accounts of Stupidity
Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up?! AT&T
Things In Football That Sound Dirty -- But Aren't
20. The hole closed on him before he could penetrate
Field Trip to the Racetrack
A group of third, fourth and fifth graders accompanied
You're Probably Aged 23 to 28
You learned to swim about the same time Jaws
Engineer vs. Manager
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes
Warning! Incredibly Harmful Virus!
Ã, Ã, Ã, If you receive an e-mail
MacGregor's Achievements
A Scottish old timer is talking to a young man
Philadelphia Eagles Schedule
September 15
Blonde Rancher
One morning, on his way out to check on the cows the rancher says to Amy, "The artificial-insemination
Good Quotes
Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself ~~'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.' --
Bar Mitzvah
Two bees met in a field. One said to the other, "How are things going?" "Really bad," said the second
The Duck and the Lawyer
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Wairarapa. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell
Bad Metaphors
Bad Metaphors from Stupid Student Essays (actually these are mostly similes, see Literary Terms) Her
Muscular Man
A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender can't help but stare at the
Blonde Texan City Girl
A Blonde Texan city girl, marries a Texas rancher. One morning, on his way out to check on the cows
Ultimate Rejection Letter
Herbert A. Millington Chair - Search Committee 412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University College Hill,
The Truth
This guy walks into a bar wearing a Lion jersey and carrying a little dog that also has a Lion jersey
Thirty Times
On a farm out in the country lived a man and a woman and their three sons. Early one morning, the woman
What Time Is It?
On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other
Wise Sayings
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
Bear Alert
In light of the rising frequency of human - grizzly bear conflicts, the Alaska Department of Fish
High Urinals
A group of Kentucky second, third, and fourth graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on
Ten Husbands
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.On their wedding night, she told
Home Game
Bill and Hillary are at a Yankees home game, sitting in the first row, With the Secret Service people
Rules for Bank Robbers
According to the FBI, most modern-day bank robberies are "unsophisticated and unprofessional crimes,"
Life
On the first day, God created the dog and said: "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at
Panexa
No matter what you do or where you go, you're always going to be yourself. And Panexa knows this. Your
Anthrax Scare
Green Bay, WI Monday, October 31, 2005 - Anthrax Scare At Lambeau Field Green Bay Packer football
Bob's Annual Review:
1. Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found 2. hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works
Snake Model
Differential Theory of US Armed Forces (Snake Model) upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operations
What It Means To Be Poor
One day a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose
World Series
Bill and Hillary are at the Yankee's World Series Game 6; sitting in the first row, with the Secret
Health Advice
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart is only
Going to War
Written by Phil Maggitti Going to War with the Army that We Want. WASHINGTON, D.C. - President
The Nail Above the Stall
Amy, a blonde city girl, marries a farmer. One morning, on his way out to the fields, the farmer says
Quotes on Sex
"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." Woody
Actual Newspaper Headlines
Married Priests in Catholic Church a Long Time Coming Prosecutors Want Victim in Courtroom During
Backyard Archaeology
The story behind the letter below is that there is this nutball in Newport, Rhode Island named Scott
Time Tested
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as
Little Head
A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender hands him the beer and says,
Yankee Test
We are sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people in the South are. We challenge any so-called
Educated Athletes?
1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do,
Twenty children's books you'll never see
You are different and that's bad. Pop goes the hamster......and other great microwave games. What
Analogies and Metaphors
These are actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. Her face was a perfect oval,
Redneck Mirror
After living in the remote wilderness of Kentucky all his life, an old hillbilly decided it was time
Watermelons
There was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local
Change of Underwear
The men of Charlie Company had been in the field for two weeks when the Sarge announces, "I've got
IT vs. Sales
A man is flying a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces his height and spots a man below.
Little Indian Boy
A Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face. "Say Mom, why is my bigger
Marriage One Liners
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. --Henny Youngman The best way
Blonde Boater - True Story
Blonde Boater A True Story Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an
How to Clean your Mouse
This memo is from an unnamed computer company. It went to all field engineers about a computer peripheral
Louisiana Law
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in South Louisiana. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into
Clear as Black and White
A missionary gets sent into deepest darkest Africa and goes to live with a tribe there. He spends
Run-down Farm
A farmer purchases an old, run-down, abandoned farm with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise.
Animal Research
A rabbit broke out of the laboratory where he had been born and raised. As he scurried away, he felt
Hot Air Baloon
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down