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I Was Coming

There was this construction worker on the 3rd floor of this unfinished building. He needed a hand saw,

Hooker Finance

The new hooker just finished her first trick. When she came back down to the street , the seasoned veterans

FARMER BROWN GETS A LEG UP

"How'd you do it?" the doctor asked as he was setting farmer Joe Brown's broken leg."Well Doc," said

Trading Place

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see

Beautiful Words

A young couple goes to visit an old couple for dinner. The old husband tells his wife "My beloved angel,

Pay Attention

First-year students at a Medical School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human

Marriage

How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.The most effective

Sex Chinese Style

A Chinese man arranged for a hooker to come to his room for the evening. Once in the room they undressed,

You Can Take it With You

There was a man who had worked all of his life,

Sister Mary Henry

A taxi pulls up to a church and picks up a nun.

A trucker picks up a hitchhiker...

A trucker picks up a hitchhiker who climbs up in

A man went on vacation to Texas...

A man went on vacation to Texas. He went into a

A blonde was working on a puzzle. After ten ...

A blonde was working on a puzzle. After ten hard

My First Time

My First Time The sky was dark, The moon was high, All

There was this redneck that walked into a ...

There was this redneck that walked into a bar and

Battle of the Engineers

Three engineers were in the bathroom standing at

Puzzle Pieces

Three blondes have just finished a jigsaw-puzzle

Massively Kewl Knock Knock Jokes!!!

Knock, knock Whoââ,¬â"¢s there? Sorry,

The President's Puzzle

Dick Cheney walks into the Oval Office and sees

The Christmas Elf Massacre

Buy me a beer if you want the story told Of why

Golf Genie

A husband and wife, out enjoying a round of golf,

Can in the Wind

Robbie Williams and Elton John are walking down

Things Dubya Shouldn't Say

1. My fellow Americans, I have taken much into

Top 15: Why Hockey is Better than Sex

It's legal to earn money playing hockey Many people

Dubya, Obviously Not Jewish

One day George W. went out to dinner with a Jewish

Bar: Horny Wife, Pooped Husband

A man walks into a bar and orders a double, obviously

Traveling Salesman

A traveling salesman approached an old farmhouse

Toe Curl

This couple have just met in a bar, really hit

Chores on the Farm

A young boy comes down to breakfast one morning.

Well Endowed and On the Prowl

A guy went to a whore house and asked the lady

Lost At The Golf Course

There was a guy on a golf course that he had never

Split Up The Middle

Once there were two twins, Joe and John. Joe was

This Farm Boy Goes Into a Whorehouse...

A farm boy who had just finished his schooling

Star Trek 'n' Computer Geeks

What if Data Ran Windows98? WORF: Captain, there

Two hicks at a toy store

Two hicks brought home a puzzle one day, and sat

The Aggie, the Longhorn, and the Goat

An Aggie and a Longhorn had just bought a ranch

Farmer and the Cow

A farmer was in a bar drinking and looking all

Laundry Time

There once was a woman who had a boyfriend that

Going to the Bathroom in a Monk's Home

There was this man who really had to go to the

Two Gay Men and a Shower

Two gay men, Paul and Tom, were making love one

Consulting Fun

Last week I took some friends out to a restaurant,

The Middle Man

A woman walks in to a tattoo parlor and tells the

The Doctor's Convention

There's a bunch of doctors gathered together at

Ventriloquist and the Polack

A ventriloquist had just finished his polack joke

Blonde in a Swimming Race

A blonde, brunette and a redhead had a breaststroke

Sperm Bank Robber

A masked man walks in to a sperm bank, pulls a

Buttered Corn, Yum

Once upon a time there were three men lost in a

Carpet

A guy (we'll call him Aaron) was laying down carpet

Beauty and the Priest

A lady is in a confession booth. She says to the

Typical Man at Bedtime

There's this husband and wife that have twin beds

Twinkie

A couple has just finished having sex. They ALWAYS

Blonde Puzzle

Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she

Johnny Cannot Tell a Lie

One time, back in the day, a boy named Johnny was

Love Letters Wife/Husband

To my darling wife: During the past year,

PC Three Little Pigs

Once there were 3 little pigs who lived together

Latex Gloves

A dentist is talking to his patient about the sanitary

Monica and Bob Dole

What do Monica Lewinsky and Bob Dole have in common?

Blonde Painting A Porch

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to

Brotherly Loves

It seems there was two brothers by the same name

Grandma's Nuts

A guy goes to visit his grandmother and he brings

After the Honeymoon...

A couple has returned from their honeymoon and

Blind Bunny, Meet Blind Snake

One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny

Bull Grapevine

Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the rancher

The Painter & Her Eyesight

There was a world famous painter who, in the prime

You're Probably Aged 23 to 28

You learned to swim about the same time Jaws

Blonde Secretary's Memo to her Boss

TO: Boss FROM: Blondie RE: Changing Calendars from

Room with a View

A couple, both age 67, went to a sex therapist's

Men and Women FAQ

    The following information was

The Blind Bunny

One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail and tripped over a large snake and fell,

Kids' Views on School

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm wasting my time," she said to her

The New Virus

Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of this computer virus. It

Greenland

A US Air Force C-141 is scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland at midnight. During the pilot's

Don't Mess with Women....

The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, "You Can Be THE Man Of Your House." He

It Doesn't Pay to Lie

Four college friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to go up to Dallas

50th Wedding Anniversary

A man and his wife were celebrating 50 years together. Their three kids, all very successful, agreed

Boudreaux's Wife had a Baby

Way down in Louisiana, Boudreaux's old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come.

Garage Door

The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide

Two Drops

A lady went to the bar on a cruise ship, and ordered a Scotch, with two drops of water. The bartender

The Speeder

The Pope just finished a tour of the East Coast and was taking a limousine to the airport. Since he'd

Inner Peace

I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me, and we all could use more calm in

Finding You

I will seek and find You . . I shall take you to bed and have my way with you. I will make you ache,

Trip to New York

A Texan and his wife were on a trip to New York. She had just finished showering to dress for dinner

Beautiful Daughter

Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his

Twas the Day After Christmas

Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house, Every creature was hurtin', even the mouse. The

Three Bulls

Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the rancher was going to bring another bull onto the ranch,

News Flash

Subject: PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY DESTROYED BY FLOOD ... GEORGE W. BUSH PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY DESTROYED

The Way Children See Things!

NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible

Louisiana Delivery Room

Way down in Louisiana, Bubba's old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come.

Commandments of Marriage

Commandment 1. Marriages are made in heaven. But so again are thunder and lightning. Commandment

A Blonde's Year in Review

January - Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight. February - Couldn't work

Half a Head of Lettuce

A man in the Florida supermarket tries to buy half a head of lettuce. The very young produce assistant

My Mother

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.

The Barber

A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded,

Fishing Buddies

At a Senior Citizen's luncheon, an elderly gentleman and an elderly lady truck up a conversation and

Marriage Quotes

You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were

Fly is Open

A man comes up to the cashier and she notices that his fly was open. She looks at him and says, "Your

Olympic Gold

A Russian and an Newfoundland wrestler were set to square off for the Olympic Gold medal. Before the

Top 15 Things Not To Say To A Pregnant Wife

15. "Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Lee had a baby." 14. "I sure hope your

Tech Support Conversations Part Deaux

I once received a fax with a note on the bottom to fax the document back to the sender when I was

Ole

So anyvay, late one night, Lena vakes Ole and says, "I tink its time!" So Ole fired up the Yohn Deere

Two Old Guys

Two 90 yr. old men decided to go to there local whore house one more time before it was to late. They

Stella Awards

It's time once again to consider the candidates for the annual Stella Awards. The Stella's are named

What Happened in Texas?

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals had a habit

Olympic Wrestling

A Russian and an American wrestler were set to square off for the Olympic Gold Medal. Before the final

Yankee Test

We are sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people in the South are. We challenge any so-called

C-141

A US Air Force C-141 was scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland at midnight. During the pilot's

Sweet Old Couple Sharing

A little old couple walked slowly into a McDonalds one cold winter evening. They looked out of place

Curtain Rod

After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for a younger woman. The house was in his name

Two Elderly Gentlemen

Two elderly gentlemen, who had been without sex for several years, decided they needed to visit a

At The Restaurant

A man and a beautiful woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress (taking another

Barbershop

A chief and an admiral were sitting in the barber shop. They were both just getting finished with

Cake

Little Johnny walked into the kitchen, saw his mother making a cake and announced, "I'll be playing

Cork Screw

Gary and Martin were standing at the urinals in a public lavatory, when Gary glanced over and noticed

Parking Ticket

So I went to the store the other day, I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out

Assertiveness

A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife so he went to a psychiatrist. The

Lawyer from New York

A lawyer from New York was transferred to a small frontier town during the settlement of the West.

Shirt Pocket

A businessman entered a tavern, sat down at the bar, and ordered a double martini on the rocks. After

High Tech

Three men - an American, a Japanese and an Irishman - were sitting naked in a sauna. Suddenly there

Custer's Last Thoughts

An eccentric billionaire wanted a mural painted on his library wall, so he called an artist. Describing

Gone but not forgotten

Four older men stand on the first tee. Just as Ralph is about to hit his tee shot, a funeral procession

Saudi Ambassador

The Saudi Ambassador to the UN has just finished giving a speech, and walks out into the lobby where

Four Friends

These four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to go up to Dallas

Accountant, Lawyer and the Cowboy

At the Urinal, An accountant, a lawyer and a cowboy were standing side-by-side using the urinal. The

Painting the Porch

An unemployed guy goes door-to-door looking for work. One home-owner hands him a brush and a tin of

Final Exam

Curly is appearing for his University final examination which consists of Y/N type questions. He

Singing Bullfrog

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me

Carjacking

An elderly lady finished her shopping and, upon return to the parking lot, found four men in her car.

I'll Come as a Dove

The pastor of donkey church realised that he was going to starve as collection dwindled every Sunday.

Blind Bunny

One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail, and he tripped over a large snake and fell,

Blonde's Y2K

TO: Boss FROM: Blondie RE: Changing Calendars from Y2K I hope that I haven't misunderstood your

Real Jobs

A guy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town, doing what guys and girls do

Surgical Gloves

A dentist was getting ready to clean an elderly lady's teeth. He noticed that she was a little nervous,