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A 93 year old man sitting on the street, crying. A woman asks him, what’s wrong? The old man

Two guys left the bar after a long night of drinking, jumped in the car and started it up. After a couple

A man is out drinking with his buddies one night and suddenly realizes he has stayed out too late and

Two men with babies bump into each other at the mall- I am very sorry about that, I didn't see you I

How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.The most effective

A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem

Saddam Hussein and President George W. Bush meet

Knock knock You dumb ass, Iââ,¬â"¢m the

While going through his wifeââ,¬â"¢s dresser

Why did the chicken cross the road? ââ,¬Â¢

1. If being chased through town, you can usually

Dear Mr. Blix, Welcome to Iraq! It is so good

Knock, knock Whoââ,¬â"¢s there? Sorry,

You know you''re having a bad day when your twin

"There are only two reasons to sit in the back

Questions and answers selected from tests in Springdale,

Joe loved golf, but his eyesight had gotten so

Women got off the Titanic first. Women can scare

1) Pretend to be one of the Bush family. Doesn't

Doctor Dave slept with one of his patients and

The election is over the results are well known The

A man from Atlanta moved to New York. As he wandered

A guy is walking along the strip in Las Vegas and

I'M GLAD I'M A MAN I'm glad I'm a man, you better

* Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people

A man strolls into a pharmacy and asks the assistant

Howard had felt guilty all day long. No matter

* Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell

Q: My fiancee still has feelings for his old girlfriends.

A farmer had just bought some pigs for breeding,

A couple has been married for 50 years. One day

Joe walks into a bar. Joe's friend, Al, sits down

A guy sees a sign outside a bar that says "Piano

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make

Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth.

Q: Why can't blondes make ice cubes? A: Because

1. You are sandwiched between French assholes and

Patient has two teenage children, but no other

* The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, ''What's

you grind your coffee beans in your mouth. you

There once was a man who decided to go scuba diving

Words can't describe your outfit, so I'll just

Q. How do you know when your bass player arrives?

* We got off the Titanic first. * We can scare

There once was this deacon and this preacher, and

The privacy partition in the confessional booth

A couple has just finished having sex. They ALWAYS

* If the enemy is in range, so are you Incoming

An elderly husband and wife noticed that they were

All men are idiots, and I married their King.

Shit is a powerful word. Just think of all the

Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting

After his annual checkup, Bob is shocked to learn

1. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

Three guys, a teenager, his father and his grandfather

A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an

A man gets to his seat on the plane, and is surprised

    William and Mildred were married

A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload

NICKNAMES If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose

Monica Lewinsky virus: Sucks all the memory

Why did the chicken cross the road? KINDERGARTEN

Saddam Hussein and George W. Bush meet up in Baghdad

    For all you guys out there who

1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A

Monica's Diary Entry 1 Dear Diary, I'm so excited!

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I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. I work hard because millions on welfare

You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and

Two doctors, a psychiatrist and a proctologist, opened an office in a small town and put up a sign

INFORMATION YOU NEED TO HELP YOU CHOOSE YOUR NEXT HEALTH PLAN .. Q. What does HMO stand for? A.

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1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't. 2..

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is L. A. 2. The morning rush hour is from

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A young couple on their wedding night were in their honeymoon suite. As they were undressing for bed,

An elderly couple was watching television one evening. The wife said, "I am going to get a dish of

An old man, Mr. Wallace, was living the last of his life in a nursing home. One day he appeared to

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow?

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."

Recent research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex: The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. This

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Wife: Oh, come on. Husband: Leave me alone! Wife: It won't take long. Husband: I won't be

A couple in their nineties are BOTH having problems remembering things. They decide to go to the doctor

1. The patient refused autopsy. 2. The patient has no previous history of suicides. 3. Patient

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death they are close to just

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A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem

*Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal. *I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. *WANTED:

"Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine." "I love cats...they taste just like chicken" "Out

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." Woody

A Russian and an Newfoundland wrestler were set to square off for the Olympic Gold medal. Before the

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.

An elderly man went to his doctor and said, "Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several times lately,

A Russian and an American wrestler were set to square off for the Olympic Gold Medal. Before the final

1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do,

If you recall the old Hollywood Squares show, this will bring a tear to your eyes. They are worth

Two women friends had gone for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the

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This is a compilation of actual Church Bulletins and Service bloopers... Our next song is "Angels

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You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop, and you see

At a nursing home a group of seniors were sitting around talking about all their ailments. "My arms

These questions about Canada were posted on an international tourism website and obviously the answers

25. Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye. 24. Her Teeth Was Stained, But

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OK, I'm the only female in a house full of guys. 4 sons and a hubby. Toilet seat is never down...etc. SOOOOoooooooooo

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed

Doctor Joe had slept with one of his patients and had felt guilty all day long. No matter how

Add It Up: Relationship Guide For all you guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is:

Eager to try it out, he takes one as soon as he gets home, and waits for his wife to come home from

Ben and Haley had gotten up in years, and their memories weren't quite what they used to be. They

Little Johnny goes to class one day to find that he has a substitute teacher. As the class gets settled

"The thrill is gone from my marriage," Bill told his friend Doug. "Why not add some intrigue to

A priest was taking a shortcut through an alley one day and came upon a young boy who was masturbating. "My

It seems a young farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby