future

Warning on a curling iron: Do Not Insert Curling Iron Into Any Bodily Orifice... My bathroom has inadequate

A very 'straight and honest' girl is going to Town. Before she left, her mother gave her some advice:

Between the ages of 15 - 20 a woman is like Africa.She is half discovered, half wild.Between the ages

Q: Why did the city build a graveyard across the

FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS, CLASS OF 2003! First of all

The Geography of a Woman Between the ages of

A kid goes to his dad and asks, "Dad, what are

SICKNESS AND RELATED LEAVE: We will no longer

George W. Bush and Osama bin Laden are having a

All quotes 100% authentic, and courtesey of George

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." ...George

Son: Dad, I have to do a special report for school.

How does a man plan for the future? He buys TWO

* Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell

Father Murphy was a very poor priest in a very

A teacher was teaching her second grade class about

Yo mama's so bald that when you rub her head you

Q: How do you know when a man's planning for the

All men are idiots, and I married their King.

President Clinton opened doors for future presidents.

They say that it's tough to learn Bosnian because

    There is a man who has three girlfriends,

As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get

Due to widespread panic about the Y2K bug, Internet

   As you grow older, what lost

First and foremost, we are not obligated to do

The following letters were taken from an actual

1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted

This should be sung to the tune "A Few of

NICKNAMES If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose

One night, the Potato family sat down to dinner.

Microsoft's Latest Venture    

ASTROLOGY: tells us about you and your future

This is not meant to be crude. It is strictly for

1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A

Dear __________________________,    

Find out what those dating terms really mean ATTRACTION..... the act of associating horniness with

Dear employee: As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for all department areas, we are

Closer Than You Think! An unemployed man goes to apply for a job with Microsoft as a janitor. The

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb

Between the ages of 15-18, a woman is like China or Iran. Developing at a sizzling rate with a lot

1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow. 2. Money will buy a fine

Herbert A. Millington Chair - Search Committee 412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University College Hill,

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your

A newlywed couple returned to their apartment after being on their honeymoon. "Care to go upstairs

The Washington Post asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting,

Dear Employee: As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for department areas, we are forced

TO: Honorable Secretary of Agriculture Washington, D.C. Dear Sir, My friend, Buba Peterson,

The Mr. Right Rejection Letter Form Dear [____rejectee's name here_____], I regret to inform

In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said, "Once

Differential Theory of US Armed Forces (Snake Model) upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operations

I would not say that the future is necessarily less predictable than the past. I think the past was

Note: Sometimes a story comes along that needs no polishing or enhancement to make it better.

* Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot. * Learn from your parents' mistakes

Between the ages of 18 - 21 a woman is like Africa or Australia. She is half discovered, half wild,

WASHINGTON, DC (AP) - Congress approved sweeping legislation, which provides new benefits for many

Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new

What the Job Ad says & What it means: Advancement opportunity: Sh*t job Entry level Really

They wanted to allow divorced women to compete in the Miss America pageant. Was that a good idea? Do

Attached is some correspondence which actually occurred between a London hotel's staff and one of

FINE This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to

This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor

This is a test for men only and all "real men" will answer "C" to all of these questions. However,

News just in of Microsoft's latest venture: Microsoft Corporation has taken another step toward dominating

The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary,

INSTRUCTIONS FOR MICROSOFT'S NEW TV DINNER PRODUCT: You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing

A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetie for Valentine's Day. As they had not been

This memo is to announce the development of a new software system which will be Year 2000 compliant.

An older couple had a son, who was still living with his parents. The parents were a little worried,

Paul was ambling through a crowded street fair when he decided to stop and sit at a Palm Reader's

The Saudi Ambassador to the UN has just finished giving a speech, and walks out into the lobby where

ATTRACTION - the act of associating horniness with a particular person. LOVE AT 1st SIGHT - what

There was a man who had three girlfriends, but he did not know which one to marry. So he decided to

A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds. His Personal