gentle

Warning on a curling iron: Do Not Insert Curling Iron Into Any Bodily Orifice... My bathroom has inadequate

This story occurred on Melbourne radio. One of the stations has a competition where they ring someone

A man goes into a cafe and sits down. A waitress comes to take his order, and he asks her, "What's the

One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making love. All of a sudden a bumble bee entered

A blond man showed up at work one day with a black eye. When his co-workers saw him they asked him what

Question : Ms. America, how do you describe a male organ in your country?Ms. America : Well, I can

A man is out drinking with his buddies one night and suddenly realizes he has stayed out too late and

Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in O'Leary's apartment when Paddy Murphy loses $500 on a single

A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain

An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action

One day, an "Ang Moh" from USA arrived at KLIA Airport. After he checked out from the customs,he felt

Two hicks from West Virginia got married and were

A gentleman on a flight to Atlanta had a serious

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender if

Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving

FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS, CLASS OF 2003! First of all

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple''s

Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's

A beautiful woman loved to garden, but couldn't

Be brave -- ask US for more money. Salt and pepper

A husband and wife, out enjoying a round of golf,

A Navy man and an Army man are driving opposite

You know you're a redneck if you think the last

A redneck couple gets married and are on their

There once was a young man named Billy Bob. Now,

You might be a redneck if you mow your grass and

Sandra and her husband Jim are expecting a baby

Two gay men are walking down the street trying

A middle aged woman lived alone except for her

A married couple was on holiday in Pakistan. They

Back in the days of cowboys and Indians, toilet

A thief stuck a pistol in a man's ribs and said,

A plane was once flying over an island when the

A women is getting married for her fourth time

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced

There was an Asian lady who married an English

Once there were two chinese gentlemen named Mr.

Once upon a time there lived a woman in Brampton

Little Johnny was in the kitchen playing with his

The strident prosecutor begins: ''Ladies and

A retired gentleman went to apply for Social Security.

A pastor, known for his lengthy sermons, noticed

A man was sitting next to a very attractive woman

These two persons are discussing whether the state

A dying man gathered his best friends - a lawyer,

A little old lady goes into the Chase Manhattan

You might be a redneck if you think the last words

Little Johnny asks his mother how old she is.

A gentleman is sitting next to the Pope on an airplane.

One Sunday morning, everyone in one bright, beautiful,

A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest

There was this couple who had been married for

Steve was in a terrible accident at work. However,

The perfect man is gentle, And never cruel or mean. He

The headwaiter of a five-star, elegant restaurant

An FM station has a competition where they ring

The room was full of pregnant women and their partners.

    13> Driving your fellow Congressman

A Polish man was taking a flight on a commercial

Bubbles and Barbie, two blonde sisters had promised their Uncle, who had been a seafaring gentleman

A man boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crab. A female crew member took the

After his legs had been broken in an accident, Mr. Miller sued for damages, claiming that he was

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating,the wives left the table

There was this couple who had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table

A plane was taking off from Kennedy. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns

Bad Metaphors from Stupid Student Essays (actually these are mostly similes, see Literary Terms) Her

The following is an exchange of correspondence between a customer and the Irish Railway Company: Larnrod

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that

Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while working as

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings currently on display. "I've

Dorothy and Edna, two "senior" widows, are talking. Dorothy: "That nice George Johnson asked me

An elderly couple was watching television one evening. The wife said, "I am going to get a dish of

Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary. Suddenly,

A highly timid little man, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, "Um,

A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of the University

A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the

They met at the singles club meeting and discovered over time that they enjoyed each other's company. After

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.On their wedding night, she told

A little old lady goes into the store to do some shopping. She is bewildered over the large selection

Having a rough day? Just in case you've had a rough day, here's a stress management technique recommended

After having been served in a Las Vegas cocktail lounge, a real southern gentleman beckoned the waitress

BACHELOR: A guy who has avoided the opportunity to make some woman miserable. BRIDE: A woman

A man in the Florida supermarket tries to buy half a head of lettuce. The very young produce assistant

As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining

A young man, who was also an avid golfer, found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and

At a Senior Citizen's luncheon, an elderly gentleman and an elderly lady truck up a conversation and

Six retired Floridians were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Meyerwitz loses $500 on a single

A gentleman was just out of surgery for a appendicitus. His wife sat calmly beside him holding his

One day, a shy gentleman was preparing to board a plane when he heard that the Pope was on the same

An elderly couple had been dating for some time. Finally they decided it was time for marriage. Before

Picture yourself near a stream. Birds are softly chirping in the crisp, cool, mountain air.

A man enters his favorite ritzy restaurant and while sitting at his regular table, he notices a gorgeous

The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The

A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan

Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and

A retired gentleman went to the social security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind

Two 90-year-olds had been dating for some time, when the man told the woman, "I think it's time we

There was this Asian lady married to an English gentleman and they lived in London. The poor lady

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table

By Scott Roeben was a very wise man. But you'd never know it because he used such fancy-schmancy

Two elderly gentlemen, who had been without sex for several years, decided they needed to visit a

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial

A gentleman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He says he is going

Two gay gentlemen were walking through a zoo. They came across the gorillas and after a while they

One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in the tiny town of Johnstown got up early and went

A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the

There was a little old lady standing at a corner. She had both hands holding her hat on while the

Three doctors were driving together to the hospital when they had an accident and all three died.

"You're in remarkable shape for a man your age," said the doctor to the ninety-year old man after

A very proper man started going into the neighbourhood pharmacy every week to buy 2 dozen boxes of

A farmer in the country noticed that a gentleman would fish at the lake (close to the farmer's house)

A farmer in the country noticed that a gentleman would fish at the lake (close to the farmer's house)

A "Kinder, Gentler System" Sony has announced its own computer operating system now available on

A Bible study group was discussing the unforeseen possibility of sudden death. "We will all die

Two men were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freight vessel. While

At Cambridge University during an examination one day a bright young student popped up and asked the

It was a sunny Saturday morning on the course and I was beginning my pre-shot routine, visualizing

A man traveling by plane was in urgent need of a restroom facility. But each time he tried, it was

Three prospective church goers attend a meeting with the clergy of a local church and ask to become

A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ordered

The world's first fully computerized airliner was ready for its maiden flight without pilots or crew.

Morris the matchmaker approached a single woman and told her he had a husband for her. "I'm ashamed

The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The

A defendant was on trial for murder in Oklahoma. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there

In a train compartment, there are 3 men and a ravishing young girl. The four passengers join in conversation,

Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed

Merv was in a terrible accident at work. He fell through a floor tile and ripped off both of his ears.