given

This story occurred on Melbourne radio. One of the stations has a competition where they ring someone

Michael Jordan made over $300,000 a game. That equals $10,000 a minute, at an average of 30 minutes per

The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of

Mark your calendar with the multitude of holidays

An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all

Two guys are picked up by cops for drugs and are

James Bond walks intoa bar and takes a seat next

AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows. BULLETIN:

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon

A man had a bad case of stuttering. He went to

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all

Buy me a beer if you want the story told Of why

Q. How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex? A.

Once a Sardarji (a caste man in India ) goes to

With the overwhelming response to the CBS hit "Survivor",

You Must Answer Two (2) or More Questions Correctly

Josi frequently attends his church Bingo club,

Paddy 'n' Mick join the army, and are put on street

Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School

Q: My fiancee still has feelings for his old girlfriends.

The preacher was very distraught after the death

One day God came to Adam to pass on some news.

Hillary Clinton died and went to Heaven. St. Peter

One day, a man had an accident at work, which resulted

Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison.

A groom passes down the aisle of the church to

Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital

Element: Woman Symbol: Wo Discoverer: Adam

A dying man gathered his best friends - a lawyer,

Terrorists hijack a plane full of lawyers. They

Q: Why did the blonde smile when she walked down

A Rolls Royce pulls up in front of a really expensive

The following are a sampling of REAL answers

One day God came to Adam and said, ''I've got some

At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic

As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get

"You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women,

All-Purpose Excuse Form, designed to get you out

    With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer

    This is from a contest on Long

A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his

$ Michael Jordan having "retired,"

There has been a recent discovery among archives

An FM station has a competition where they ring

Jack tells his doctor how he can no longer sustain

ASTROLOGY: tells us about you and your future

During WW II an American soldier had been on the

Three guys died and when they got to the pearly

Find out what those dating terms really mean ATTRACTION..... the act of associating horniness with

Dear employee: As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for all department areas, we are

1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for

An infantry brigade was training in the summer heat, learning methods to counter offensive tactics.

a.. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. b.. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian

A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The

Customer: Hi. How much is your paint? Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things. Customer:

An angel suddenly appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean of the college that, in return for

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the

In the past, employees were permitted to make trips to the restroom under informal guidelines. Effective

An Alabama preacher said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that

(Actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his senator) The Honorable Tom Harkin 731 Hart

A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the

A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the

Pretty soon, I won't be able to do anything except sit in my chair and read! I must send my thanks

You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track. Logic is a systematic method

According to the FBI, most modern-day bank robberies are "unsophisticated and unprofessional crimes,"

During the banquet celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary, Tom was asked to give his friends a

I don't understand. After the last child was born, she told me we had to cut back on expenses, I had

One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When

In case you have been waiting breathlessly for this year's Darwin Awards, here they are. The awards

Dear Employee: As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for department areas, we are forced

On a given night, 2 death row inmates are scheduled to be electrocuted on old sparky. While one execution

The Mr. Right Rejection Letter Form Dear [____rejectee's name here_____], I regret to inform

Customer: Hi. How much is your paint? Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things. Customer:

A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking

The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500 man elite fighting unit called the US REDNECK

After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. "So, how is everything going?" inquired

Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed. They're up in heaven, and

1. Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found 2. hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works

1. "Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife." 2. "I've always wanted

A man goes into hospital for a vasectomy. When he wakes up he's surrounded by several anxious looking

A day before his 15th birthday, the son of a wealthy family was asked by his father, `Well my son,

There once was an Indian whose given name was "Onestone", so named because he had only one testicle. He

1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for

Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed. They're up in heaven,

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river.

A man walks into a church confessional and says to the priest,"bless me,father,for i have sinned. "i

The preacher's Sunday sermon was "Forgive Your Enemies." He asked how many of the congregation have

Ralph returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours

WASHINGTON, DC (AP) - Congress approved sweeping legislation, which provides new benefits for many

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck,

It was Saturday night and the preacher still hadn't been able to think of a sermon for the next morning.

The story behind the letter below is that there is this nutball in Newport, Rhode Island named Scott

Harold was an old man. He was sick and in the hospital. There was one young nurse that just drove him

A young Catholic man goes to confession and says, "Father, it has been one month since my last confession.

An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of Church services when she was startled

I was scheduled to fly from North Carolina to Germany, where my husband was stationed in the military.

We are sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people in the South are. We challenge any so-called

A man was walking in the city, when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking bum

An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through

These, are real answers given by children. Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and

After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for a younger woman. The house was in his name

It's even hotter than usual in Phoenix, 116 degrees sets a new record, the Associated Press reports: About

For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much partying, but now I found out

A man returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours

An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his IRS agent and his lawyer (both church members),

MARKETING: You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry midterm. The answer

When Uncle Charlie died of old age, Bill was bequeathed his uncle's prized Amazon parrot. This parrot

A blonde goes to a restaurant, buys a coffee and sits down to drink it. She looks on the side of

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, Interviews, and testing

In a small cathedral a janitor was cleaning the pews between services when he was approached by the

ATTRACTION - the act of associating horniness with a particular person. LOVE AT 1st SIGHT - what

For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how TRUE this is! They actually have a chili

The teacher had given the class an assignment. He stresses the importance of this particular assignment,

A guy walks into a bar and asks for three beers. The bartender puts them up and then watches the guy

A fellow comes to confession. "Father," he said, "forgive me for I have sinned." The priest asked,

A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine-year-old son

Two rednecks were given a special SAT test to meet their admission requirements to the Military Academy.

An Annapolis computer science major was given an artificial intelligence assignment for one of his

Two men, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day, were led down to the room in which

David received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse

Three guys died and when St. Peter met them at the pearly gates, he said, "I know that you guys are