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There was this construction worker on the 3rd floor of this unfinished building. He needed a hand saw,

A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions

You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as

A man is out in the Chinese wilderness and he's hopelessly lost. It's been nearly three weeks since he's

A judge was interviewing a women regarding her pending divorce and asked, "What are the grounds for your

An elderly couple were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary, so they decided to return to the little

TEACHER: Why are you late?WEBSTER: Because of the sign.TEACHER: What sign?WEBSTER: The one that says,

Little John was playing with his airplane in the back yard and his mother was in the kitchen washing

This is really embarrassing for the mother, do read on.This is a Singapore story (supposedly)... Hilarious!

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and

One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his

Back in the time of the Samurai there was a powerful emperor who needed anew head Samurai so he sent

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari

An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all

Q:Whatââ,¬â"¢s funnier than kicking a zombie

Yo mama so dumb, when she threw a rock at the ground

What do you call a woman rolling around on the

When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle, she

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Your mom is so stupid, she threw a rock at the

There was a young girl who loved to wear skirts

An airline's passenger cabin was being served by

After dying a grisly death in an Afghan cave, Osama

CNN Late Breaking News! It has been reported that

Ignoring the fact that George Bush declined Saddam

Two gorgeous blonde biologists were in the field

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods,

Steve, Bob, and Jeff were working on a very high

A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when

There was a blonde, a brunette, and a red head.

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all

Season's Beatings There's gotta be a better way

1. ââ,¬Å"If my heart were a baked potato,

Say, "Damn, officer, you must have been going

Tonto and the Lone Ranger were riding across the

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1) Pretend to be one of the Bush family. Doesn't

Bush and Cheney went hunting, killed a giant buck,

And the Lord spoke to Noah: ''In six months I'm

Bill and Ned walk into a fast food joint one afternoon

A railroad worker was cuting the grass away from

One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was

A man walks into a bar and orders a double, obviously

A man jumps off a building at the same time that

A man moved into a new apartment, and he decided

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead team were sent

A man is sitting on a bench in the park reading

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even

10. This is your captain speaking and I don't feel

A man was walking down the street and on the

Why are lawyers buried 10 feet underground?

A traveling salesman is in West Virginia when he

There once was a scientist who studied frogs. One

As the title suggests, this is how to successfully

Your aim is so bad that you threw a rock at the

The ringmaster of a traveling circus was looking

There was a cowboy and an Indian riding through

If you throw a party, the worst thing you can do

Man who lay woman on ground have piece on earth.

A woman walks into a bank in New York City and

Two lawyers, Jon and Amanpreet, head out for their

A man was fishing and he caught a crocodile. The

There was an Indian chief who wanted to show his

How can you pick out Dolly Parton's kids on the

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when

One misty Scottish morning a man is driving through

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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs. A: Ground

What did the dad say when his son said, ''Dad I'm

One day a guy walked into a pet store to buy a

Jan.10 5:00 P.M. It's starting to snow. The

A man escaped jail by digging a hole from his jail

Three women are about to be executed. One''s a

Two aliens land on the earth, near L.A. They get

One day, on a trip to the Grand Canyon, three rednecks

One day a blonde, brunette, and redhead were on

One sunny Saturday morning, the first of a twosome

One day avant-garde violinist Malcolm Goldstein,

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Two guys were sitting at a bar on the 40th floor

Q: A smart blond, Santa and a pregnant woman are

* Take shopping carts for the express purpose of

Man who stick face in punchbowl get punch in nose.

A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise

Q: What do you call Charlie Brown with no legs?

Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were in divorce court.

One night, a cabbie was driving through the streets

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One day, a blonde went to go get lessons on how

A woman who was rather old-fashioned, delicate,

There is this dumb blonde who likes animals, but

A guy (we'll call him Aaron) was laying down carpet

A blonde was about to commit suicide by jumping

One day, there was a cowboy riding a horse in the

Hugh Hefner and Dennis Weaver were both at a party

Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out

You don't have to put cream in your coffee to

A blonde named Anna had a near death experience.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground

As he is quietly watching television at home, a

Lesson number one: A crow was sitting on a tree,

Man who drop watch in toilet bound to have shitty

Squawks are problems left behind by airplane pilots

A first grade teacher collected well-known proverbs.

1. The mouse is referred to as a "critter."

1) You're Different -- And That's Bad 2)

Two engineering students were walking across campus

Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically

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A cowboy was passing by a ranch and decided to

    A few months ago, there was

    The curator of a Western art

A blind man was describing his favorite sport -

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Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the rancher

A guy walked into a pro-shop with a gorilla. "Is

A woman and man get into a car accident. Both

    A guy is sitting at a bar in

Two guys were hiking in the mountains when they

Monica Lewinsky virus: Sucks all the memory

A man goes to the confessional. "Forgive me father,

A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed

There has been a recent discovery among archives

    The following information was

MICROSOFT NEWS RELEASE: It has come to our attention

An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED: 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats. 2)

When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend. When I was 16 I got a girlfriend,

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken

A man goes to the confessional. "Forgive me father, for I have sinned." "What is your sin, my

Tom did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into bed and falling to sleep. All of a sudden,

There was a Midwestern phone company that was going to hire one team of telephone pole installers,

It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new

A retired corporate executive, now a widower, decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean

A guy walks into a bar and sees a gorgeous woman nursing a drink. Walking up behind her he says:

You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left side is a 'drop off', (The ground is 18-20

I believe in having sex on the first date. At my age, there may not be a second date. Senior Campbell's

This husband and wife were playing on the ninth green when she collapsed from a heart attack. "Please

A first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first

In a small mid western conservative town, a new bar/tavern started a building to open up their business.

1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't. 2..

Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods are in a bar. Woods turns to Wonder and says: How is the singing career

I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. Garden

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your

Two Irishmen, Patrick Murphy and Shawn O'Brian grew up together and were lifelong friends. But alas,

There was a fly buzzing around a barn one day when he happened on a pile of fresh cow manure. Due to

When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend. When I was 16 I got a girlfriend,

When four of Santa's elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the

One day while Little Johnny and his freind Arnie were playing out in the back yard,they started talking

A first grade school teacher in Virginia had twenty-five students in her class. She presented each

welve priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row,

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow?

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, and

After working for years, a hooker finally retired and, being afraid of spending the rest of her life

You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left side is a valley and on your right side

Ok now, you and the lil missus is walkin home frum a good day of doin yur cumunity servis hours when

According to the FBI, most modern-day bank robberies are "unsophisticated and unprofessional crimes,"

A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished,

While taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport, the crew of a U.S. Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale

Prior to her trip to Texas, Buffy (a New Yorker) confided to her co-workers she had three goals for

Investment tips for 2006.... for all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers

Grandpa watched Tommy pull a worm out of the ground and told him that he would give him 10 bucks if

Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the rancher was going to bring another bull onto the ranch,

The coach had put together the perfect team for the New Orleans Saints. The only thing missing was

Name of Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband: I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest

A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent

This is true !! It details what to do if an anaconda attacks you. Excerpt is from the US Government

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched with horror as her ball headed directly towards

In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft;

Differential Theory of US Armed Forces (Snake Model) upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operations

1.) Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2.) If

A young man, who was also an avid golfer, found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He

Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for

Not long ago and far away, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip...but there were problems everywhere.

Miss Bea, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was much admired

PRESS RELEASE: Prime Minister of Canada to Visit Washington Statement by the Press Secretary President

Some of us Southerners are pretty skeptical of horoscopes and the people that read them. If we are

Back in the time of the Samurai there was a powerful emperor who needed a new head Samurai so he sent

Married Priests in Catholic Church a Long Time Coming Prosecutors Want Victim in Courtroom During

A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls

Little Johnny sees his Daddy's car passing the playground and going into the woods. Curious, he follows

A blind man was describing his favorite sport... parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished,

What the Job Ad says & What it means: Advancement opportunity: Sh*t job Entry level Really

An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her friends

Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. Gardening

Two robins were sitting in a tree. "I'm really hungry," said the first one. "Let's fly down and

Some of us Southerners are pretty skeptical of horoscopes and the people that read them. If we are

"Aim towards the Enemy." - Instruction printed on U.S. Rocket Launcher "When the pin is pulled,

A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful (and intelligent) pet dachshund

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently

My wife of 14 years is convinced she has Mad Cow disease... ... After all, she had a fast food taco

You are different and that's bad. Pop goes the hamster......and other great microwave games. What

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2. If

- You only know three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup. - You design your Halloween costume to

After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for a younger woman. The house was in his name

A blonde named Cindy decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no prior lessons or experience. Cindy

By Scott Roeben was a very wise man. But you'd never know it because he used such fancy-schmancy

Your coworker has 8 body piercing and none are visible. You make over $300,000 and still can't

A gentleman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He says he is going

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all

Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding across the plains when Tonto stops suddenly, climbs down, and puts his

So, the tyrannical sergeant major is called to the Colonel's office: "Smith's mother has just died

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual

A "Kinder, Gentler System" Sony has announced its own computer operating system now available on

Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day,

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, Interviews, and testing

One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about

For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how TRUE this is! They actually have a chili

A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, "May I

German scientists dug 50 metres underground and discovered small pieces of copper. After studying these

A child in class, when asked to draw a picture of the Holy Family, produced a picture in which Mary

An expectant father rang the hospital to see how his wife was getting on. By mistake he was connected

Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day,

Back in the old Wild West, there were two blond cowpokes, Jeff and Dave. One day, the two were enjoying

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience.

The pope goes to visit the Seven Dwarfs. As he is finishing his speech on comparative religions, Dopey

Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. One of the cowboys

A photographer from a well know national magazine was assigned to cover the fires at Yellowstone