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Jokes

Stupid warnings

Warning on a curling iron: Do Not Insert Curling Iron Into Any Bodily Orifice... My bathroom has inadequate

Who Died the Worst Death?

Three men stand before St. Peter awaiting admission into Heaven. However, St. Peter has been informed

Vacumm

A woman is drying herself after a shower when she suddenly slips and lands preadlegged on the bathroom

Bubba Hump

A football coach noticed that his star tackle,

Divided By A Common Language

The British speech: "If you are ferocious in battle,

Hot Enough For You?

After dying a grisly death in an Afghan cave, Osama

The Christmas Elf Massacre

Buy me a beer if you want the story told Of why

What Men Want

More beer. More cheese. More sex. Vitamin fortified

Freshman Guide to Bra Removal

OBJECTIVE To disengage said bra without looking

NOAH's ARK - A Modern Tale

And the Lord spoke to Noah: ''In six months I'm

The Rich Man's Daughter

One day, a guy was approached by a rich man who

The Waiting Room

This woman is rushed to the hospital in critical

If I Had A Hammer

A man is in court for murder and the judge says,

Rating Your Christmas Party

If you throw a party, the worst thing you can do

The Most Gruesome Death

There was a long, long line of spirits at the gate

A man walks out of a bar totally hammered...

A man walks out of a bar totally hammered, only

Carpet

A guy (we'll call him Aaron) was laying down carpet

Cold Day in Hell

A new arrival in Hell was brought before the

Longer Summers

I was working in a scrap yard in Southern England during summer vacation at an engineering university.

Gunfighting Tips

In the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who wanted more than anything to be the greatest

PMS?

TO: MR. JAMES THATCHER, BRAND MANAGER, PROCTER & GAMBLE. Dear Mr. Thatcher, I have been a loyal

Tool Glossary

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your

Taxes

Dear Internal Revenue Service: Enclosed you will find my 2006 tax return showing that I owe $3,407.00 in

Home Remedies

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat

My Tax Remittance for 2004

Enclosed is my 2005 Form 1040, together with payment. Please take note of the attached article from

George Bush in Hell

George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes to hell where the devil is waiting for him. "I

Gender

You may not know that many nonliving things have a gender. For example... 1) Ziploc Bags- They

Talking Clock

Proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night the drunk led the way

Top 25 Country and Western Songs of All Time

25. Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye. 24. Her Teeth Was Stained, But

Warning Signs That You Need A New Lawyer

You met him in prison. During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway. He tells you

The Apartment Building

Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day,

Got Quackers?

A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender for some quackers. The bartender explains that the bar

How I Got to Heaven

Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day,

Supermarket Embarrasment

A lady was picking up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she