happened

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write

A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand,

"How'd you do it?" the doctor asked as he was setting farmer Joe Brown's broken leg."Well Doc," said

A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his

Two guys left the bar after a long night of drinking, jumped in the car and started it up. After a couple

A blond man showed up at work one day with a black eye. When his co-workers saw him they asked him what

Now home from honeymoon and settled in our new home. It's fun to cook for Tim. Today I made an angel

A man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He decided to stop

Two men with babies bump into each other at the mall- I am very sorry about that, I didn't see you I

A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party.She got a terrible headache and told her husband

There was this guy sunbathing in the nude at the beach. Well, this little girl comes up to him, so he

Farmer Joe was suing a trucking company for injuries sustained in an accident. In court, the company's

Once there was this doctor that moved out to the country to become a farmer. He said to himself, "Well,

A girl walks into a bar and asks for a Bud. The bartender gives it to her, she drinks it, and passes

A guy was talking with his friend in a bar and told him, "My sex life sucks, just when things start to

John had just won first prize at a cat show and had received a 10-day cruise to the Puerto Rico. The

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? Well, I hope you remember my story when they

The old man was a witness in a burglary trial. The defense lawyer asks Sam, "Did you see my client commit

There was this case in the hospital's Intensive

A Blonde goes to a barber and asks for a haircut.

Two hicks from West Virginia got married and were

Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers

A gentleman on a flight to Atlanta had a serious

One day a man forgot to tell his wife the couches

A jock and a geek applying for the same job. The

A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath.

Two hedgehogs are in the middle of the road and

A sailor walked into a bar with a small head. The

Once there was a man who was peacefully driving

Saddam Hussein & his chauffeur were driving down

This desperate guy named Jim goes to the whorehouse

Ignoring the fact that George Bush declined Saddam

A guy walks in and sits down at a bar. His face

A man hated his wife's cat and he decided to get

Bush and Osama decided to settle the war once and

A man is sitting in a pub, when a guy with an incredibly

A husband and wife, out enjoying a round of golf,

Three Americans were up against a very large Russian

The England team's training session was delayed

A snail is walking down the road, when all of a

A GOOD ONE... enjoy. There was this case in the

What happened when the soldier went into an enemy

The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions,

A squad of American soldiers was patrolling the

10) My fellow Americans, I have been lying to you

A kid was sitting on his lawn with a box of puppies

Fail a class? Drop one too many? Don't worry about

A Fairy Tale for the Woman of the New Millennium:Once

There were these three guys at a football game

The bell-ringer for the church had just passed

What happened to the blind skunk? He fell in

A man walks into a bar and orders three beers.

Old Mrs. Watkins awoke one spring morning to find

Two friends, named Harry and George, go on a trip

A Scottish wife, an English wife, and an Irish

''My God! What happened to you?'' the bartender

Two guys are sitting next to each other on an airplane. "The

Three Americans were up against a very large Russian

One day three dwarfs went walking and saw a sign

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent

Police arrested Joe Bloggs, a 27-year old white

Three girls named Samantha, Janet and Rebecca were

There was a woman who had very small breasts and

A blind man goes into a whorehouse and asks for

There once was a young man named Billy Bob. Now,

This truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load

There was this guy that went to the doctor to get

A man, Bob, and his friend Joe went out hunting.

A man on a plane asked the stewardess if he could

There was a guy driving down the road when he ran

There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from

A guy burned both of his ears... so they were asking

What happened when the blonde tried to give her

A farmer had just bought some pigs for breeding,

There was an old man named Bill, and one of the

(Setting: A furious lightsaber duel is underway.

A guy with a very small head was sitting at a bar,

One day a man and his wife went golfing, as they

Two attorneys boarded a flight out of Seattle.

A guy who was in the Air Force had just spent a

One day, a farmer was tending to his livestock

One fall day Bill was out raking leaves when he

There were three dogs at a vet's office. The

A millionaire decides to throw a massive party

One day while at the White House, the maid was

One upon a time there was a town with a new church

Q: What happened when Snoopy found out his girl

A real tough guy dies and goes to hell, well he

Three guys go to a hotel. They tell the man behind

Joe tells his wife he is heading out to the pub

One day a woman, pregnant with triplets, was walking

It's Saturday morning and Bob's just about to set

A guy with two black eyes walks into church one

Q: What happened when a blonde missed the Q44 bus?

One night a man walked into a bar with a brown

One day, an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman

There was an Aggie, a Longhorn, and a Bug Eater.

What happened to the wooden car? It wooden

Three gay men died, and were cremated. Their lovers

There was a man who just got out of the army.

This lady goes to a vet and learns that that if

This mafia family was in need of a collection

A four-year-old boy and his father went to the

There was an Aggie, Longhorn, and a Red Raider

A man was eating in a fancy restaurant, and there

Three idiots decide to go hunting. The first one

One day a man was hiking down an old dirt road

One day avant-garde violinist Malcolm Goldstein,

There was this Indian chief who was straining to

One day, Mrs. James was taking a shower, when suddenly

Every year, Grandma and her grandkids, Suzy, Jill,

Lem: ''I got fired from my job as a bank guard.''

Taoism: Shit happens. Confucianism: Confucious

Once there was this man whose car broke down.

There was this man who really had to go to the

There was this couple that had twins and they couldn't

Once there were two chinese gentlemen named Mr.

An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup

One day, a blonde's neighbor goes over to her house,

One day, an old lady decided that she didn't want

What happened when Batman and Robin got run over

Once there was a penguin whose car broke down.

Superman was flying around the city and was super

Q: What happened to the Indian who drank too much

A group of guys were chatting with a good-looking

How many men does it take to change a roll of

What happened to the Blonde Tap Dancer? She

A young, innocent couple got married. On the first

Zeus and Thor are up on Mt. Olympus and Thor is

There were three strings that walked into the bar.

A blonde woman and a red-headed woman are taken

What happened to Jesus when he went to Mount Olive?

Three men are at a bar, and two of the men are

What happened to Batman and Robin when they got

A cowboy was riding through an old abandoned canyon

A blonde goes to a doctor because both of her ears

A doctor at an (insane) asylum decided to take

A young man joined the Army and signed up with

A man walked into work on Monday with two black

The FDA is considering additional warnings on beer

There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of

A man was walking on the beach when he happened

Two 6 year old boys were attending religous school

This is actually a true story that happened to

"Bartender, gimme 'nother drink, says a very drunk

The privacy partition in the confessional booth

A woman went camping and while she was out she

Once there was man named Jim, who let his dog out

Princess Diana and Dolly Parton happened to die

A little boy is walking along on a nude beach.

An American woman of 40 wants to get married, but

One day Reverend Smith went to visit Mrs. Jenkins,

This guy comes home from work one day to find his

Three college students were in England and were

A man and his wife are stranded on a desert island.

Bill Gates dies, and ascends to the Pearly Gates

A blonde named Anna had a near death experience.

A newlywed couple were on their honeymoon and were

This guy went into a bar and ordered a beer. He

There once a man who worked in a pickle factory.

A man was digging in his garden, when his shovel

Two blondes were shopping at the mall. When they

A little old lady goes into the Chase Manhattan

Once, a long, long time ago, in a small village

Two hunters are stalking through the forest when

A guy goes out one day, hunting for bear. After

Q: What happened when the blonde went to the movie

Cross my heart this happened to someone. This guy

    One day many years ago, a fisherman's

A man in a bar has a couple of beers, and the bartender

A young woman with small breasts buys a finely carved

Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful,

A man is in bed with his wife when there is a knock

Male Seminarsby Females 1.  Combatting 

If the government is going to put health warning

Upon dying, Bill Gates went to purgatory. St. Peter

A woman going through the change of life went to

      AT&T fired President John

I called a company and asked to speak to Bob.

Two Americans decide to open a bungee-jumping business

A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife:

It seems there was two brothers by the same name

Three couples were married and stayed at the same

Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed

A man who was a little slow was visiting his wife

A man staggers into an emergency room with two

Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up?! AT&T

This guy is not getting along so well with his

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates

A couple had two little boys, ages eight and ten,

I did not do it in a car I did not do it

Once upon a time, there was a little old man who

A woman announces to her friend that she is getting

An Ohio State University mortician student walked

A farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine. It

    Every night after dinner, Merle

A couple, both age 67, went to a sex therapist's

Listen my children, and you shall hear Of

    An OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY mortician

    The Reverend John Fuzz was pastor

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two

    Dear Son,    

Next time you have a bad day at work...think of this guy: Rob is a commercial saturation diver for

I was in the Express Lane at the store, quietly fuming. Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead

Police arrested Malcolm Davidson, a 27 year-old white male resident of Wilmington, NC, in a pumpkin

A man and his wife were having an argument in bed. After the husband had finally had enough, he jumped up

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul

One day, Jimmy Jones was walking down Main Street when he saw his buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup. Bubba

In a tiny village on the Irish coast lived an old lady, a virgin and very proud of it. Sensing that

A terrific explosion occurs in a gunpowder factory, and once all the mess has been cleared up, and

A man went on a business trip to China and wanted to buy some gifts for his kids. He went to a shop

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company,

One day George was betting on the ponies nearly losing his shirt, when he noticed a priest who had

A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened Then

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover

It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of the Granville Presbyterian

A lady is throwing a party for her granddaughter, and had gone all out..... a caterer, band, and a

An Englishman A Scotsman and an Irishman are all setting in a bar in New York discussing about how

A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street together, and they both want a drink, but they have

King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could

TWO DUCK HUNTERS FROM WISCONSIN: ABSOLUTELY A TRUE STORY HEARD ON A WISCONSIN RADIO STATION REPORTING

A woman pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a masked robber ran out of a bank

Three friends had a good friend named Joe and he was, naturally, an eternal optimist. At every bad

Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age? Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old. Defense

What, you ask, is "Butt dust?" Read on and you'll discover the joy in it! These have to be original

A lady walked into a Lexus dealership just to browse. Suddenly, she spotted the most beautiful car

There was a fly buzzing around a barn one day when he happened on a pile of fresh cow manure. Due to

On a farm out in the country lived a man and a woman and their three sons. Early one morning, the woman

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of a small Florida church found

A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. 2. Having sex in a twin bed is out

Once upon a time there was a female brain cell which, by mistake, happened to end up in a man's head.

Davie walks into a bar and sees his friend Norm slumped over the bar. Davie walks over and asks Norm

The wife comes home early and finds her husband in their master bedroom making love to a beautiful,

Some retired deputy sheriffs went to a retreat in the mountains. To save money, they decided to sleep

Dear Mrs. Fenton, Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been causing quite

A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the

Pretty soon, I won't be able to do anything except sit in my chair and read! I must send my thanks

Young Chuck, moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver

This preacher was looking for a good used lawnmower one day. He found one at a yard sale that Little

Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what's

A frightened man dialed 911 to report! an assault. "I was coming in the back door," said the man to

Bush and Osama decided to settle the war once and for all. They sat down and decided to settle the

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage

A big corporation recently hired several cannibals in the interest of cultural diversity. You are

A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100.00. The farmer

Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large raging violent river. Needing to

This happened about a month ago just outside a little town in the bayou country of Louisiana, and

I would not say that the future is necessarily less predictable than the past. I think the past was

The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks an older priest to sit in on his sessions.

At the police station, Bubba explained to the police officer why his cousins shot him. "Well," Bubba

A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an examination to determine the

At a Senior Citizen's luncheon, an elderly gentleman and an elderly lady truck up a conversation and

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company

A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and

A man fell asleep on the beach.He woke up several hours later and suffered a severe sunburn to his

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet

A man attempting to set up his new printer called the printer's tech Support number, complaining about

The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on his heart due to the unfortunate death

Male Seminars by Females 1. Combatting Stupidity 2. You, Too, Can Do Housework 3. PMS: Learn

A woman has had serious headaches for several years and has tried everything; been to several doctors

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs to be alert and stay cautious

A small tourist hotel was all abuzz about an afternoon wedding where the groom was 95 years old and

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals had a habit

There were two old geezers living in the backwoods of the Ozarks...Rufus and Clarence. They lived

George Bush goes to a primary [elementary] school to talk about the war. After his talk, he opens

A Canadian is drinking in a New York bar when he gets a call on his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning

Here are some conversations that actually happened between help desk people and their customers. Customer:

An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through

A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had had happened to her ears?

A guy walks into a bar. He sits down at the end of the bar, next to another guy, who was the only

Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical, only to find out that she's pregnant. She is furious...

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary in London, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner

One day, a blonde's neighbor goes over to her house, sees the blonde crying, and asks her what happened.

Police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch

Dear Diary: Day 1 Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate. When

A man had just been laid off from work. He was standing on the railing of a high bridge getting read

A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police cruiser pulled her over and

Once upon a time there was a female brain cell which, by mistake, happened to end up in a man's head.

An American woman of 40 wants to get married, but she is only willing to marry a man if he has never

Bill Clinton took a jog near his new home in Chappaqua. And on each run, he happened to jog past a

A 75 year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar

A DOCTOR at an asylum decided to take his inmates to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls

A man was sitting at home one evening, when the doorbell rang. When he answered the door, a 6 foot

It's Saturday morning and John's just about to set off on a round of golf when he realizes that he

A lady was standing on a street corner waiting for a bus when she happened to notice a weight machine.

A travelling salesman of agricultural machinery was on a three week tour through the hinterlands of

A man staggers into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a five

Eager to try it out, he takes one as soon as he gets home, and waits for his wife to come home from

Did you hear what happened?" Jim asked when he saw me walking down the hallway at work. "Hear

Bob and his three golf buddies were out playing and were just starting on the back nine when Bob paused,

A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went through the standard training,

A young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor told them, "We have special requirements

Farmer Gossman goes to the vet and says, "My horse is constipated." The vet says, "Take one of

A Boston fan, a Yankees fan, and Pamela Anderson are sitting together in a train. The train enters

For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how TRUE this is! They actually have a chili

A man was visiting his wife in hospital where she has been in a coma for several years. On this visit

Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home

A man was being interviewed for a job. "Were you in the service?" asked the interviewer. "Yes,

An old man was a witness in a burglary trial. The defense lawyer asks Sam, "Did you see my client

A guy says, "I remember the first time I used alcohol as a substitute for women." "Yeah what happened?"

A guy goes to the pharmacist and says, "Listen, these two girls are coming over this weekend, and they

A man traveling by plane was in urgent need of a restroom facility. But each time he tried, it was

An old sailor was out walking on the dock one day when he met a former ship mate of his. They had not

There were two ministers who met each Sunday morning riding to their particular church. They both enjoyed

A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at

A guy went to visit a friend at the hospital. His friend was all busted up and in several casts. After

There was this guy and he was driving along until he got a flat. He spotted a near-by farm and decided

A guy went to his doctor full of anger. "Doc," he said, "I feel like killing my wife. You've got to

My husband was just coming out of anesthesia after a series of tests in the hospital, and I was sitting

Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center where he was to advise new recruits about their government

Two assassins are hired to kill a dictator in South America. They follow his every move for months,

A lady is having a bad day at the tables in Vegas. Down to her last $100, completely exasperated, she

Three guys that all worked bulding high rise buildings sat down to lunch one day. The first one opens

A young couple got married, and in their family, it was tradition that the best man dance with the

Every night after dinner, Merle took off for the local watering hole. He would spend the whole evening

A defendant was on trial for murder in Oklahoma. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there

A man who had spent his whole life in the desert visited a friend. He'd never seen a train or the tracks

A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while

An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had

A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything. The

Three mates are down the pub. Bill and Joe are arguing about the amount of control they have over

An airline captain was helping a new blonde flight attendant prepare for her first overnight trip. Upon