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Jokes

Bill Gates Goes to Heaven

One day Bill Gates finally dies and goes to Heaven. Upon reaching the pearly white gates, he sees Saint

Everything is big in Texas

There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats

Squashed Frog

There was this little boy about 12 years old walking down the sidewalk dragging a flattened frog on a

Playing Golf

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and

Zoltrog Jokes

1. How many trarlokks does it take to trokkclap

Sister Mary Henry

A taxi pulls up to a church and picks up a nun.

Blonde and Blonder

A Redheaded mom walks into her daughter's room,

First Class

A blonde was headed to Detroit. She got on the

The Monkey Goes Where the Wind Blows ...

This week, the Bush administration finally released

True Football Fan

Recently, I was at a professional football game

Golf Genie

A husband and wife, out enjoying a round of golf,

Harry Potter Quiz

What did Harry Potter do when he found the three-headed

One morning a man was leaving...

One morning a man was leaving to go to work. He

Birth Signs

AQUARIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 18) You have an inventive

Professor of Dirty Jokes

There was an old professor who started every class

The Windy Day

George set out on a very windy day to see his friend

Blonde Ice Fishing

A blonde wanted to go ice fishing, so after getting

One Man's Torture: A Golfing Tale

One day a man and his wife went golfing, as they

Seducing the Grocer

An older single woman was shopping at the grocery

Here, Piggy, Piggy

An old farmer and his wife had a bunch of pigs,

Astrological Signs

ARIES (Mar 21-Apr 19) You are the pioneer type

Golfed Balls

One sunny Saturday morning, the first of a twosome

Buttered Corn, Yum

Once upon a time there were three men lost in a

Blonde Snowman

Q: Which is harder to make? A blonde, brunette

Captured Blonde

A blonde woman and a red-headed woman are taken

The Runs

A guy was walking down the road, to a city about

Flea Explorers

A woman went camping and while she was out she

Beverly Hillbilly Bobbitt

(Sing to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies)

The Snail and the Dung Beetle

Once, a long, long time ago, in a small village

Bank On It

A man and a woman met in an elevator. ''Where are

Gone Fishin'

Once there were two best friends, named Fred and

Sh#!

Shit is a powerful word. Just think of all the

Priests on a Hawaiian Vacation

Two priests were going to Hawaii on vacation and

Men vs. Women vs. the Short Story

Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are

Kick in the Ass

Katie Couric, Charlie Gibson, Brian Williams and a tough old US Marine Sergeant were captured by

Eyes of the Beholder

An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution for a client

Bubba's New Truck

One day, Jimmy Jones was walking down Main Street when he saw his buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup. Bubba

Grandma's Revenge

When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol.

Pole Installers

There was a Midwestern phone company that was going to hire one team of telephone pole installers,

Birthday Party

A lady is throwing a party for her granddaughter, and had gone all out..... a caterer, band, and a

Garage Door

The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide

So How Did You Break Your Arm?

Even if you aren't a skier, you'll be able to appreciate the humor of the slopes as written by a New

Father Norton

Father Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early

Career Choices

An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought

9 Months Later

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After

Men Are From Mars

Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor

Everything Is Big In Texas

There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats

Golf and the Physiotherapist

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched with horror as her ball headed directly towards

Holy Trick

The Reverend Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful

Blind Pilots

Part of Air Canada's recent settlement with the Unions was hiring handicapped people! So, the other

Kiss and Slap

A young Technician and his General Manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to

Fishing Buddies

At a Senior Citizen's luncheon, an elderly gentleman and an elderly lady truck up a conversation and

How Did You Break Your Arm?

A friend just got back from a holiday ski trip to Utah with the kind of story that warms the cockles

Anger Management

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take

The Next Stall

A man was traveling north to Alberta. He needed to use the bathroom and so at a rest stop he goes into

Stopped by Police

An elderly man was headed home in his car one evening, swerving and weaving on the road, when he was

The Bears

Frank was excited about his new rifle, and decided to try bear hunting. He spotted a small brown

Dead Rabbit

One afternoon while doing some work in the garden I noticed my dog dragging something under the fence.

Eating Grass

One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating

Shooting a Goat

A city boy was visiting the country and wanted to go hunting. The farmer lent the boy his gun, telling

Bad Memories

Ben and Haley had gotten up in years, and their memories weren't quite what they used to be. They

Blonde Breast Stroke

A blonde woman competed with a brunette woman and a redheaded woman in the Breast Stroke division of

Alligator Shoes

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes

Embarrassment

A very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night. Waiting for her date as