Jokes
Pay Attention
First-year students at a Medical School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human
Religious Nuts
There were four country churches in a small Texas
24 Fun Things To Do In An Elevator...
1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead
The Great Saddam and Bush Debate
Ignoring the fact that George Bush declined Saddam
De-evolution
At the rate law schools are turning them out, by
The Christmas Elf Massacre
Buy me a beer if you want the story told Of why
Highbrow Genital Jokes
My genitals are so gigantic, and yours so woefully
Top Ten: Questions that Make You Go, "Huh?"
How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges? What
Fetal Attraction
How does one human embryo talk to another human
Telemarketer Repellant
If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company,
When Beasts Speak!
What did the cat say to the mouse? "The human
Planet of the Apes: Secrets Revealed
* Silicon-enhanced chests and lips reveal that
Bush Has Feelings Too
George W. Bush told Dick Cheney, "I really hate
George W. Bush Quotes
All quotes 100% authentic, and courtesey of George
How To Bathe A Cat
I. Know that although the cat has the advantage
God Made Eve First
In this world God made Eve first and one day he
Dubya Quotes
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." ...George
Human Race
As an outside observer, what do you think of the
Bar... Duckman
A man walks into a bar with a duck on his head.
The Bar Exam
Once upon a time there was a 98-year old woman
The Intergalactic Swap
Two aliens land their plasmic cosmo craft in Jack
Redneck Luv
A small north Florida wild animal park had acquired
The Real Skywalker Lineage
(Setting: A furious lightsaber duel is underway.
Work Policies
In order to assure the highest levels of quality
Grizzly Bear Warning
The Alaska Department of Fish and Game recently
Little Johnny And Santy Claus
Dear Santa: You must be surprised that I am writing
What do a lawyer and a sperm have in common?
What do a lawyer and a sperm have in common?
Dirty Aliens
A married couple was walking down the street when
Another Dumb Blonde
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and
Statue Fantasy
An old wizard was walking through a park when he
Fair-Haired Science Fair
10) Are poisonous snakes really venomous? 9) Is
Getting Your Goat
According to the latest issue of Nature Biotechnology,
Pokey Pachyderm
A man arrived at a small village in India, and
50 Fun Things to Do in an Elevator
1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or
The Gassy Skeleton
A human skeleton was going to fart in a crowded
Psychology Class
A college psychology class was studing human reaction
Pickup Line...
Did you know that there are 265 bones in the human
Lawyer and Sperm
What do a lawyer and a sperm have in common? Both
Women Education Courses
Women think they already know everything, but wait...training
Children's Books That Didn't Make It
1) You're Different -- And That's Bad 2)
TV's New Fall Season
NBC 8:00 Friends 8:30
Engineers and The Human Body
Three engineering students were gathered together
Year 2000 Interview With Jesus
Due to widespread panic about the Y2K bug, Internet
Man Quiz -- Are You Trained?
As you grow older, what lost
Who Runs the Human Body?
In the human body, which organ is in charge? All
Wacky News of the World
But Doctor, You HAVE To! In Turkey, Mehmet Esirgen, 52,
Survival of the Fittest Brain Cells
A herd of buffalo can only move
More Stupid Quotes
On Tough Jobs that Involve Letters: It's
Men vs. Women vs. the Short Story
Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are
Contraceptives '98
Microsoft's Latest Venture
Have Yourself a PC Little Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas
Reaching the end of a job...
Ã, Ã, Ã, Reaching the end of a job interview,
A Horoscope For The Workplace
ASTROLOGY: tells us about you and your future
The Stuttering Cat
A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. 'Human beings are the only animals that
Ten Times Normal
The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "What human body part increases to ten
Creation vs Evolution
Creation vs Evolution has been settled! A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race
Restroom Policy
In the past, employees were permitted to make trips to the restroom under informal guidelines. Effective
Classy Insults
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." Winston Churchill "A modest
Whales
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible
PMS?
TO: MR. JAMES THATCHER, BRAND MANAGER, PROCTER & GAMBLE. Dear Mr. Thatcher, I have been a loyal
Tool Glossary
DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your
Words of Wisdom
People who live in glass houses should make love in the basement. Never read the fine print. There
Statues
One day god is in a really good mood and looks down from the heavens and sees a statue of a man and
Swearing at Work
To all Employees: It has been brought to Management's attention that some individuals throughout
Murphy's Laws of Computing
1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen. 2. When you get to
Bear Alert
In light of the rising frequency of human - grizzly bear conflicts, the Alaska Department of Fish
Just a Weeee Bit
"An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they
Murphy's Technology Laws
You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track. Logic is a systematic method
Men Are From Mars
Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor
Bill Maher's New Rules
New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people
New Darwin Awards 2005
In case you have been waiting breathlessly for this year's Darwin Awards, here they are. The awards
Panexa
No matter what you do or where you go, you're always going to be yourself. And Panexa knows this. Your
Christmas Party
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: 1 October 2005 RE: Christmas
History Lesson
History began some 12,000 years ago.(Actually, it was 40,000 years ago.) Humans existed as members
Billy Connolly's Chain Letter
Hello, my name is William and I suffer from guilt for not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters
Sure-Fire Signs There's Trouble On The Job
1) The new policy on sexual harassment includes your photo. 2) The Security guard makes a complete
Pick-Up Lines That Don't Work!
- Your sister's a real knock-out. Is one of you adopted? - For the longest time I lived with a
Computer Quotes
"Remember, never ask a geek "why"; just nod your head and back away slowly... " Dan Wineman Memory
Noah in America
In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said, "Once
Good Advice from Maxine
People who live in glass houses should make love in the basement. Never read the fine print. There
Things That Took Me Fifty Years To Learn!!
1.) Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2.) If
A Dog's Life
If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise. - Unknown Some days you're the dog; some
Claven Theory
The "Claven Theory" offers the besy proof that beer actually does make you smarter..... "One afternoon
George W. Bush Quotes
"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on
Pinocchio
Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having
God and the Blonde Nun
One night a blonde nun was praying in her room when God appeared before her. "My daughter, you have
Sexual Harassment
A man walks up to a woman in his office each day, stands very close to her, draws in a large breath
Twenty children's books you'll never see
You are different and that's bad. Pop goes the hamster......and other great microwave games. What
Virus Warning: Missus
Description Missus manifests as a female humanoid providing cooking/cleaning features, and a sitting-room/TV
The answer is C
This is a test for men only and all "real men" will answer "C" to all of these questions. However,
Things That It Took Me Over 30 Years To Learn
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2. If
Contraceptive98
News just in of Microsoft's latest venture: Microsoft Corporation has taken another step toward dominating
Too Hot For Arizona Convicts???
It's even hotter than usual in Phoenix, 116 degrees sets a new record, the Associated Press reports: About
Cat Quotes
"Managing senior programmers is like herding cats." - -Dave Platt "Do not meddle in the affairs
Label Instructions
In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual
10 Times
The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to 10
Lab Rat
At a convention of biological scientists, one researcher remarks to another, "Did you know that in
Letter of Recommendation
When Peters learned that he was being fired, he went to see the head of human resources. "Since I've
Cowboy Logic
A few years ago, the Sierra Club and the U.S. Forest Service were presenting an alternative to Wyoming
PMS/PMT in the Bible
A preacher was telling his congregation that anything they could think of, old or new, was discussed
What's Your Workplace Zodiac Sign ?
MARKETING: You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in
A Kinder, Gentler System
A "Kinder, Gentler System" Sony has announced its own computer operating system now available on
Job Interview
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young Engineer fresh out
Alaskan Birthday Party
Alaskan Birthday Party Sam has been in business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He
Sex Education
The teacher was telling her students in the sex education class about human anatomy. She took her pointer
Pain in The Side
At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny,
Sam Meets Leon
Sam has been in the computer business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his