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Hillery Dillery Dock, Obama will Clean her Clock, Monica's a Sin, Bu Ba fell in, Now she's gotta deal with Obama.

US Presidential nominee Barack Obama may have beaten Hillary Clinton but he has lost a Gmail id by his

Free Sex

The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late

Stuffed Animals

A guy met a girl at a nightclub, and she invited him back to her place for the night.When they arrived

Marriage

How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.The most effective

Vampire Bat

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of

Victorian Ladies

How many Victorian ladies does it take to change

George Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld are f

George Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld are

Merger of Christmas and Hanukkah

Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers

Motivational Quotes for Cannibals

"If we don't change the direction we're going,

I Bet You Can't...

A man walks into a bar and orders shots for the

A tourist walks into a curio shop and sees ...

A tourist walks into a curio shop and sees a life-like

People Who Should've Won This Years Nobel Prize

1. Britney Spears & Eminem Who, combined, have

How Sauron of "Lord of the Rings" is Like a Woman:

Both have been called "the greatest enemy of men" Think

The Lucky Salesman

A woman goes into a adult toy shop to buy a dildo.

50/50

What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room

The Toothbrush Salesman

Three guys begin work at a toothbrush company as

Tattoo Idea

Q: Why is it a good idea to tattoo a $100 bill

Instant Cow Attraction!

How do you get a hundred cows in a barn? You

Air Mattress

Q: What do you call a hundred blondes stacked up

I'll Give You...

There was a woman and her husband. They were happily

Blonde Lightbulb

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?

A Multiple Hot Foot

Did you hear about the shoe factory that burnt

GDMFSOB...A Lovely Poem

Goddamn motherfuckin' son-of-a-bitch, He parked

Tattooed Wang

This guy goes into a tattoo shop and requests to

The Cross-Eyed Cow

One day, a farmer was tending to his livestock

Bad Drivers

There's a senior citizen driving on the highway.

The Stupid Nomad

A man is riding aimlessly through the desert on

The Crying Horse

An owner offered one hundred dollars to anyone

Gorilla in Heat

A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species

I'll Repair Your Car, Nudge, Nudge

A young woman experienced car trouble late one

Top Ten Ways to Freak Out Your Roommate

10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and

Banana Peel

A blonde walks down the street and sees a banana

What is Six Inches Long?

What is 6 inches long, has a big head, and drives

Dead Frog

A young boy walks into a whore house dragging a

Monkey Programmers

A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking

Take My Wife, Please

* The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, ''What's

Top 10 Reasons to Live in Manitoba

1. You wake up one morning to find you suddenly

Two Guys on a Golf Course

Two guys are hitting the links at their local golf

Statue Fantasy

An old wizard was walking through a park when he

Duck, Duck, Hooker

Once there was a farmer with three sons. One day

Washington Survey

A hundred prostitutes in Washington D.C. were asked

Dirty Hippos

Q: Why do hippos have sex underwater? A: Because

Banker Joke

A little old lady goes into the Chase Manhattan

Santa, Tooth Fairy, Drunk, Senator

Q: Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest senator

Never Seen A Priest

An old man from a far off land was once on the

Dick Cheney and the Bushes

    Dick Cheney, President Bush

Hooker In Training

Harry and his wife are having hard financial times,

The Talented Parrot

This guy is not getting along so well with his

The Wrong Way

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway,

Valentine's Day Card Shopping

A woman went to the mall to buy Valentine's Day

Gravity-Defying Tequila

    A guy is sitting at a bar in

Tattoo U-nit

A guy goes into a tattoo parlor and asks for a

Solitary Confinement Woes

Three guys are convicted of a very serious crime,

More Stupid Quotes

On Tough Jobs that Involve Letters: “It's

The 12 Days of Christmas

December 14, 1972 My dearest darling John:

Fishing For a Sale

A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job

Monica's Diary

Monica's Diary Entry 1 Dear Diary, I'm so excited!

Bill of Rights

Two lawyers, Bob and Bill, were having a heated exchange during a trial. The judge asked both lawyers

The Monks

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old

Family Spat

A man and his wife were having an argument in bed. After the husband had finally had enough, he jumped up

Profitable Mistake

On his way out of church after mass, Frank stopped at the door to speak to the minister. "Would it

Janitor or Millionaire

Closer Than You Think! An unemployed man goes to apply for a job with Microsoft as a janitor. The

Morals

A teacher told her young class to ask their parents for a family story with a moral at the end of it,

If Airlines Sold Paint

Customer: Hi. How much is your paint? Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things. Customer:

Best Salesman

Three salesmen were bragging who is the best. The first said, that he is so good he sold a color

Having Fun with a Telemarketer

Me: Hello. AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T. Me: Is this AT&T? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T. Me: This is

Hunter and Pigmy

A hunter walking through the jungle, found a huge, dead dinosaur, with a pigmy standing beside it.

Outsource the President?

Congress Votes to Outsource Presidency, Washington, DC (AP) Congress today announced that the office

Gold Medalist

Three women were sitting around talking about their sex lives. The first said, "I think my husband's

Three Words

A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, "This is your lucky night. I''ve got a special game for you. I''ll

Christmas Story for people having a bad day....

When four of Santa's elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the

Three Things Are Inevitable...

The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late

An Indian Story

Running Doe, a young Native American woman went to a doctor for her first ever physical exam. After

The Pope

After getting all of The Pope's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver

Ten Thoughts to Ponder for 2006

# 10 Life is sexually transmitted. # 9 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which

Genie's Map

A woman rubbed a bottle and out popped a genie. The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes. The

I am a Father

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards.

Mistake

On his way out of church, Frank stopped at the door to speak to the minister. "Would it be right,"

Census Taker

A census taker in a rural area went up to a farmhouse and knocked. When a woman came to the door, he

Jury Duty

As a court clerk, I am well-versed in the jury-selection process. First a computer randomly selects

John the Farmer

John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called pullets

Rules of the South

Save all manner of bacon grease. If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let

The $100 Tattoo

Larry gets home late one night and his wife, Linda, says "Where in the hell have you been?" He

Application for a Night Out with the Boys

Name of Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband: I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest

The River

Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large raging violent river. Needing to

If Airlines Sold Paint . . .

Customer: Hi. How much is your paint? Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things. Customer:

Cookies

An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death's agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite

Snake Model

Differential Theory of US Armed Forces (Snake Model) upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operations

Phobia

A man went to a psychiatrist for his phobia. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get

Bronze Statue

A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the

Teddy Bears

A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They

Marriage Quotes

You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were

The Angel

Not long ago and far away, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip...but there were problems everywhere.

Mamma's Bible

Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers and prospered. Some

How Dan Rather would have covered D-Day

This is how today's media would have reported the Normandy invasion to free those living under German

The Prize

Whitey was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers called pullets and

Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA)

WASHINGTON, DC (AP) - Congress approved sweeping legislation, which provides new benefits for many

More Things to Think About

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. Gardening

Employee Statistics

Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics: *29

Father

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The

Post Office

A man worked in a post office. His job was to process all mail that had illegible addresses. One

Fixing The Pearly Gates

3 contractors are in a bar after work enjoying a cold one, when a truck crashes into the bar killing

Who Says Men Arn't Sensitive

A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They

Lawyer and a Brothel

The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his

Too Hot For Arizona Convicts???

It's even hotter than usual in Phoenix, 116 degrees sets a new record, the Associated Press reports: About

Virus Alert

An entire new strain of viruses has just been uncovered and we wanted to get this information to you

Tough Texans

A brigade of Iraqi soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand

Custer's Last Thoughts

An eccentric billionaire wanted a mural painted on his library wall, so he called an artist. Describing

Cows: With a New Twist

DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You

Mice

Three Pastors were having lunch together at a diner. The first Pastor said, "Ya know, since summer

200 Bucks

A guy goes over to his friends house, rings the bell. The wife answers the door. "Hi, is Tony

Bleeding for Hours

A streetwalker was visiting her doctor for a regular check-up. "Any specific problems you should

No Sword!

At Cambridge University during an examination one day a bright young student popped up and asked the

Bill & Moe

Bill and Moe had started with only five hundred dollars between them, but they had built up a computer

Bronze Sculpture of a Rat

A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop somewhere in Washington DC. Picking through the objects

Six Percent

"I can let you have this top-of-the-line stereo for nine hundred dollars, minus six percent for cash,"

Taking Advantage of Debts

A guy goes over to his friend's house, rings the bell, and the wife answers. "Hi, is Tony home?"

The Vampire Bat

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof