immediately

A man walks into a bank,yells at the old lady at the teller window, he needs to open a "fuckin bank account".

A business man met a beautiful girl and asked her to spend the night with him for $500. And she did.Before

A woman went to a pet shop & immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage

You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as

Two Indians and a West Virginia Hillbilly were walking in the woods. All of a sudden, one of the Indians

A very sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wants her vaginal lips reduced in size

One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making love. All of a sudden a bumble bee entered

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see

An American tourist goes on a trip to China. While China, he is very sexually promiscuous and does not

A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window.A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong, mean-looking,

At school, Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret,

Baby Ryan was a nearly Two Year old Boy. He has been to train to inform his mom whenever he want to pee.So

This is really embarrassing for the mother, do read on.This is a Singapore story (supposedly)... Hilarious!

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and

Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.

A rather attractive woman goes up to the register

A motorcycle cop pulled over a Lamborghini Diablo

A football coach noticed that his star tackle,

A man was walking through the forest, when he suddenly

FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS, CLASS OF 2003! First of all

A British doctor, a German doctor and an American

A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus

Once there was a man who was peacefully driving

There was a guy who worked for Blockbuster video.

A junior partner in a law firm was sent to a far

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A woman and a man got into a really bad car accident.

A man and a woman are driving down the same road

A man goes to a restaurant, orders some takeout,

The England team's training session was delayed

I hate aspects of this time of year. Not for its

You know you're in trouble when... 1. The McDonald's

One day Adam and Eve notice God standing before

An Alabama man turned 18 and went to a local house

An English guy was very ill and his son went to

In order to assure the highest levels of quality

A blonde walked into her final exam very nervous.

A man had a habit of buying things immediately

10) You wake up at 3 am to go to the bathroom,

A woman finds out that her husband is cheating

A new contract for Santa has finally been negotiated.

Two aliens land their plasmic cosmo craft in Jack

One fine day in the middle of class at school,

1. The Female always makes THE RULES. 2. THE

A group of men go up into the mountains to go bear

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even

There once was a young man named Billy Bob. Now,

A man walks into a bar with an alligator on a

A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by

Barnum & Bailey was transferring the circus from

There was an old lady and her dog who lived on

An old farmer decided it was time to get a new

A man walks into a bar next to an extremely hot

A guy went to a whore house and asked the lady

Two attorneys boarded a flight out of Seattle.

This guy lives in Westchester, NY and goes to

The dean of a women's college, addressing her charges,

In order to assure the highest levels of quality

If you throw a party, the worst thing you can do

Two blondes suddenly got into bird hunting and

A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus

A woman goes to the gynecologist for the first

A man who was having heart trouble went to the

A man walks into a whorehouse and hands the madam

10. You're so tired you now answer the phone,

Long time ago, in the land of Persia there lived

One night, Sam went out drinking only to find the

A Jewish mother bought her son two pairs of socks

When the nurse was bathing a female patient who

Have you heard about the new mint-flavored birth

A married couple was walking down the street when

Following a tragic boating accident, a husband

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are crossing

Things a Man Would Do if He Woke up with a Vagina 10.

This is a true story about a recent wedding that

One sunny Saturday morning, the first of a twosome

One day avant-garde violinist Malcolm Goldstein,

A man joins the navy and is shipped out immediately

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are on the

An old wizard was walking through a park when he

Mr. Johnson, a businessman from Wisconsin, went

A little girl came running into the house crying

A good-looking woman walks into a bar wearing a

A beautiful young blond woman boards a plane to

A blonde goes to work and sees that one of her

An elderly couple decided to take a cruise to spice

Have you heard about the new mint flavored birth

There are two blondes playing golf. One tees off

"Bartender, gimme 'nother drink, says a very drunk

A man wanted to buy his wife a unique birthday

It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr.

A young Irish lad had fallen in love with a girl

Bill Gates dies, and ascends to the Pearly Gates

These individual quotes were reportedly taken from

Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit lived in the same forest,

There was once a man who had problems satisfying

1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment

A newly married man was discussing his honeymoon.

Cross my heart this happened to someone. This guy

One evening, a family brings their frail, elderly

After several years of serving the church in a

Jack comes home from school with a great big smile

First and foremost, we are not obligated to do

A man noticed a woman in the grocery store with

A man gets to his seat on the plane, and is surprised

About ten recruits are making their first parachute

A woman and man get into a car accident. Both

One Sunday a pastor asked his congregation to consider

    Psychologists have discovered

    The Penis requests a promotion

An Ohio State University mortician student walked

An old guy walks into a bar and asks for a bottle

Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are

A man goes to the doctor with a long history of

Jack tells his doctor how he can no longer sustain

    An OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY mortician

Ã, Ã, Ã,  If you receive an e-mail

A man is driving down a steep, narrow mountain

Bubbles and Barbie, two blonde sisters had promised their Uncle, who had been a seafaring gentleman

Dear employee: As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for all department areas, we are

Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak. But all

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her.

The old man in his mid-eighties struggles to get up from the couch then starts putting on his coat. His

Tom did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into bed and falling to sleep. All of a sudden,

A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial troubles. Coincidentally,

A builder and a priest are out for a game of golf one afternoon. Unfortunately the builder wasn't

A World War II pilot is reminiscing before school children about his flying days during the war.

It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new

A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500. They did their

In the past, employees were permitted to make trips to the restroom under informal guidelines. Effective

Yesterday I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. My blood pressure was high, my cholesterol

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is L. A. 2. The morning rush hour is from

Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea - one

TO: MR. JAMES THATCHER, BRAND MANAGER, PROCTER & GAMBLE. Dear Mr. Thatcher, I have been a loyal

Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's

A woman married three times walked into a bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was

A young Southern couple got married and went on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately

1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play - normally one club and two balls. 2. Play

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."

DINING OUT 1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly

In Florida, an atheist became incensed over the preparation for Easter and Passover holidays and decided

Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor

A German tourist walks into a McDonald's in New York City and orders a beer. (In Germany and many

Dear Employee: As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for department areas, we are forced

For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to live in California, here is a copy of the California

The old man in his mid-eighties struggles to get up from the couch then starts putting on his coat.

This is important information just in case. Symptoms of the Bird Flu... The Center for Disease

Green Bay, WI Monday, October 31, 2005 - Anthrax Scare At Lambeau Field Green Bay Packer football

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead show up for the same job interview. The brunette is the first

On a given night, 2 death row inmates are scheduled to be electrocuted on old sparky. While one execution

AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659---CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY A lady about 8 months pregnant got on

Two Indians and an Irishman were walking through the woods. All of a sudden one of the Indians ran

An Irishman an Englishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a bar in Sydney. The view was fantastic,

After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. "So, how is everything going?" inquired

MIDDLETOWN, Ohio (AP) - The city's tax superintendent has been suspended without pay for a week for

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched with horror as her ball headed directly towards

Tired of being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decides to solve both problems

From: Chief of Operations Subject: Proper Narrative Descriptions It has come to our attention from

A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial troubles. While checking the

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." Woody

A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls

Once again, The Washington Post published its yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply

It's the spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue. Bobby's a pretty hip guy

One day, a shy gentleman was preparing to board a plane when he heard that the Pope was on the same

For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to live in California, here is a copy of the California

One day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday, she will

1. Never take a beer to a job interview. 2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting

Rhonda went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the

A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful (and intelligent) pet dachshund

The cowhand got paid on Friday and immediately rode into town and proceeded to the nearest bar and

Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical, only to find out that she's pregnant. She is furious...

Sherry lost her husband almost four years ago and still hasn't gotten out of her mourning stage. Her

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take

Description Missus manifests as a female humanoid providing cooking/cleaning features, and a sitting-room/TV

A jumbo jet is just coming into the Toronto Airport on it's final approach. The pilot comes on the

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto

A blonde named Cindy decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no prior lessons or experience. Cindy

King Arthur was in Merlin's laboratory where the great wizard was showing him his latest creation.

An old man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell

A Lady about seven months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her.

A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony. One his first day there he takes off his clothes and starts

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their

The following story was written by Andrew Marlatt. It first appeared on SatireWire on Feb. 1, 2002

A preacher went to his church office on Monday morning and discovered a dead mule (jackass to the

An entire new strain of viruses has just been uncovered and we wanted to get this information to you

At school Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret,

After dying in a car crash, three friends go to Heaven for orientation. They are all asked the same

For a computer programming class, I sat directly across from someone, and our computers were facing

A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated

A man walks up to a woman in his office and tells her that her hair smells nice. The woman immediately

A man was sitting at home one evening, when the doorbell rang. When he answered the door, a 6 foot

An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman are all playing golf with their wives. The Englishman's wife

A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately

A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to

It was early one morning when the Pastor heard a noise outside his door. When he opened it, he found

An American tourist goes on a trip to China. While in China, he is very sexually promiscuous and

This memo is from an unnamed computer company. It went to all field engineers about a computer peripheral

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in South Louisiana. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into

On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class

Two men were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freight vessel. While

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly

An Avon Lady was delivering products in a high-rise and was riding in the elevator. Suddenly, she had

One day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday, she will

An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have

A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman

A lady about seven months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her.

A man traveling by plane was in urgent need of a restroom facility. But each time he tried, it was

On little Larry's first day of first grade, he raised his hand as soon as the teacher came into the

A blind man and his guide dog enter a bar and find their way to a barstool. After ordering a drink

Some not too smart gangsters decide to rob a bank. After several days of planning they agree on the

John and David were both patients in a Mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital

A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of

A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for the local butcher shop and steals a roast off

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident. Both of their cars are totally demolished but

On a plane bound for New York, the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience.

The general was confined to the military hospital for treatment of a minor malady. For almost