lawyer

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy

A lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the headlights broken and considerable damage. There's no

A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady forty miles per hour. The wife is behind the

One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass

Farmer Joe was suing a trucking company for injuries sustained in an accident. In court, the company's

The old man was a witness in a burglary trial. The defense lawyer asks Sam, "Did you see my client commit

A big-city California lawyer went duck hunting

Worldââ,¬â"¢s thinnest books 20. BEAUTY

Two lawyers are leaving the office. ââ,¬Å"I

A biker walks into a yuppie bar and shouts, ââ,¬Å"All

A lawyer is standing in a long line at the post

A blonde and a lawyer sit next to each other on

A doctor is walking down the street and sees a

The pope and a lawyer are on the elevator to heaven.

Q. How many lawyer jokes are there? A. Three...the

What happens when a lawyer takes viagra? They

It was so cold today I saw a lawyer with his hands

A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus

There was this lawyer who drove his shiny new Lexus

What Did A Lawyer Name His Daughter? Sue!!

A good lawyer knows the law; a great lawyer knows

How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? ââ,¬Å"Such

At the rate law schools are turning them out, by

Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Professional

An engineer died and ended up in Hell. He was not

One day a lawyer was riding in his limousine when

What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the

"There are only two reasons to sit in the back

What's the definition of lawyer? The larval form

Knock Knock Who's there? Yo mama. Yo mama who? Yo

He meets Satan, who says, "You are supposed to

What's the difference between F.Lee Bailey and

"I have good news and bad news," the defense lawyer

A guy phones a law firm and says, "I want to speak

Q: What do you call 20 lawyers skydiving? A:

Why was the lawyer skimming the Bible right before

Do you know how copper wire was invented? Two lawyers

What do you call an honest lawyer? An oxymoron.

Q: You are stuck in an elevator with a tiger, a

A man reluctantly attends his laywer's funeral

What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room

Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? A: Cut

Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a

What's the difference between a lawyer and an amoeba?

How can you tell when a lawyer is about to lie?

95% of all lawyers give the rest a bad name!

When do you know a lawyer is telling the truth?

Q: What did the Lawyer say to the lesbian? A:

Definition of a Lawyer: A person who puts two men

Why'd the lawyer go to Heaven? Hell was full.

What do you call Satan and a lawyer? Twins!

What''s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent

What do you call one lawyer thrown off a bridge

Three Doctors are dicussing which types of patients

Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and

Boss: Who said that just because I tried to kiss

What's the difference between a dead skunk lying

What is the difference between a leech and a lawyer?

A couple were driving to a church to get married.

Why are lawyers buried 10 feet underground?

A man walked into a curio store and was shopping

There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from

A lawer just got home from work. As he stepped

Two lawyers are walking down the street, when a

A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box

What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

Why is the N.I.H. (National Institute of Health)

A teacher, a thief and a lawyer all die in the

Why do you need only two pallbearers at a lawyer's

If you throw a party, the worst thing you can do

A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus

What do you call a lawyer who doesn't know the

What's the difference between a trampoline and

Did you know that you can get a woman pregnant

Two lawyers, Jon and Amanpreet, head out for their

A doctor notices a sidewalk stand that says 'brains

There was a contruction worker who was working

What do a lawyer and a sperm have in common?

One day Bill complained to his friend that his

What do you call parachuting lawyers? Skeet.

A Frenchman, an Englishman, an American man, and

Michael Jackson, his lawyer, and a small, cute

Q: What can a goose do, that a duck can't do and

How many lawyers does it take to change a light

What's the difference between a rooster and a lawyer?

Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw a light

How come you can't find lawyers sunbathing on the

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced

What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer

Five surgeons were taking a coffee break and

What do you get when you cross a lawyer and a pig?

What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?

Bob, a lawyer, was driving home over the Golden

How many lawyers does it take to plaster a wall?

Betty & Tim were killed in an auto accident on

Three lawyers died and went to hell. Satan told

Why does New Jersey have all the toxic waste dumps

A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates.

A dying man gathered his best friends - a lawyer,

What's the difference between a catfish and a

Q: What do lawyers use as contraceptives? A:

Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Professional

What's the difference between a dead skunk in the

What can a goose do that a duck can't but a lawyer

Terrorists hijack a plane full of lawyers. They

A doctor, an engineer, a rabbi and a lawyer were

How are lawyers like whores? They both get

(Sing to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies)

How do you get a lawyer down from a tree?

Q: What do you have when a lawyer's buried up to

A snake and a lawyer both got hit by a car. What's

A little old lady goes into the Chase Manhattan

You are stuck in a foxhole with a cobra, Saddam

A man walked into a lawyer's office and inquired

Q: What's the difference between a female lawyer

Q: What do you have when 100 lawyers are buried

Q: What can a goose do, that a duck can''t do and

Q: Why does the bar association prohibit lawyers

Q: What is the ideal weight of a lawyer? A: About

Did you hear about the lawyer from Texas who was

Hear about the new sushi bar that caters exclusively

Q: Why did the post office recall the new lawyer

What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? A

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a

Q: What do lawyers use as contraceptives? A: Their

What do a lawyer and a sperm have in common? Both

Q: Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747

Q: Have you heard about the lawyers' word

Q: What is the definition "lucky break?" A: When

Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? A:

Q: How many lawyers does it take to roof a house? A:

Q: What do you call a lawyer who has gone bad? A:

Q: What do lawyers use for birth control?A: Their personalities.

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates.

1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer AMANA

A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada

One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny

'Twas the night before crisis, And behind White

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried

Why have scientists started using lawyers for experiments

A lawyer lies dying, his partner of 40 years by

Three guys are convicted of a very serious crime,

Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I. Q. of 50?A:

1)  A Guide to Arab Democracies 2) 

Malamute x Pointer = Moot Point, favorites of lawyers

One day, Jeffrey complained to his friend, "My

Two lawyers, Bob and Bill, were having a heated exchange during a trial. The judge asked both lawyers

Somewhere in the deep South, Bubba called an attorney and asked, "Is it true they're suing the cigarette

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Wairarapa. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell

At a recent convention of biological scientists, one researcher remarked to another, "Did you know

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company,

The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this: You cannot

A guy walks into a bar and sees a gorgeous woman nursing a drink. Walking up behind her he says:

Rules for hunting lawyers Washington state attorney season and bag limits -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1300.01

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically

Mr. Dewey was briefing his client, who was about to testify in his own defense. "You must swear to

Down south, Bubba called his attorney and asked, "Is it true they's suin' them cigarette companies

The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late

An elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed his options with his doctor. The doctor

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, and

Pretty soon, I won't be able to do anything except sit in my chair and read! I must send my thanks

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.On their wedding night, she told

In Florida, an atheist became incensed over the preparation for Easter and Passover holidays and decided

WASHINGTON, D.C. - A white house source stated that Congress is considering awarding Vice-President

I, __________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely

Dear Husband: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been

There was a loser who couldn't get a date. He went to a bar and asked a guy how to get a date. The

Born 1903-Died 1942 Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was. ****************************** In

* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong. * Keep skunks and bankers and

1. "I got kicked out of Riverdance for using my arms." - Michael Flatley (lead Riverdancer) 2.

A man walks into a bar and sees a good-looking woman sitting on a stool. He walks up to her and says,

A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company

[The year would not be complete without the Darwin Awards - awarded every year to the persons who

Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers and prospered. Some

Accountant - Someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing. Auditor - Someone

A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's

World's thinnest Books available at a bookstore near you. FRENCH WAR HEROES by Jacques Chirac HOW

A lawyer is sitting in a bar having a drink when a beautiful women sits down next to him. The lawyer

Three guys were sitting in a bar talking. One was a doctor, one was a lawyer, and one was a biker.

1. Good: Your wife is pregnant. Bad: It's triplets. Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago. 2.

This is the best lawyer story of the year, decade, and probably the century. A Charlotte, NC, lawyer

Down South, Bubba called his attorney and asked, "Is it true they're suing the cigarette companies

An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept

Despite how you may have personally felt about the issue, there was a good logical reason for removing

Jack has died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Jack's Last Will and Testament. "To

A husband and wife were having a fine dining experience at their exclusive country club when this

Storming into his lawyer's office, a Texas oil magnate demanded that divorce proceedings begin at once

A lawyer died and arrived at the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter asked him, "What have you done to merit

By Scott Roeben was a very wise man. But you'd never know it because he used such fancy-schmancy

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a

At a convention of biological scientists, one researcher remarks to another, "Did you know that in

An attorney was sitting in his office late one night, when the Devil appeared before him. The Devil

A lawyer from New York was transferred to a small frontier town during the settlement of the West.

An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his IRS agent and his lawyer (both church members),

The staff at a local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's

Bob, a lawyer, was driving home over the Golden Gate Bridge after spending a great day on the ocean

At the Urinal, An accountant, a lawyer and a cowboy were standing side-by-side using the urinal. The

You met him in prison. During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway. He tells you

One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating

A Truck Driver was driving down the highway when he saw a priest at the side of the Road. He stopped

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically

One day a nice young couple were on their way to the Justice of the Peace to get married. They had

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in South Louisiana. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into

A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer. "If I lose

A lawyer died. At the same moment, the Pope also died. They arrived at the gates of heaven at

An engineer dies and reports to hell. Pretty soon, the engineer getsdissatisfied with the level

A man was called in for an audit by the IRS. So he asked his accountant for advice on what to wear.

A mother and son are walking through a cemetery, and pass by a headstone inscribed - "Here lies a good

A blind rabbit and a blind snake meet each other. Neither one remembers what kind of animal they are,

A lawyer, a priest, and a young boy were in a plane that was going to crash, yet they only had 2 parachutes.

An old man was a witness in a burglary trial. The defense lawyer asks Sam, "Did you see my client

A lawyer, laying on his deathbed in his bedroom, called to his wife and told her to run and get the

A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, bee-lines for a butcher shop and steals a roast. The butcher

A Russian, a Cuban, an American and a Lawyer are in a train. The Russian takes a bottle of the

An old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called his lawyer. "I want to become

A man went to a brain store to get some brain for dinner. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of

A mafia Don was golfing with two golf associates: a deaf man and his interpreter lawyer. Since the

A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for the local butcher shop and steals a roast off

Four surgeons were sitting around discussing who they like to operate on. The first surgeon said,

One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail, and he tripped over a large snake and fell,

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. By mistake, St.Peter directs him to go below. So,

A defendant was on trial for murder in Oklahoma. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: "My client merely inserted

A truck driver would amuse himself by running over lawyers he would see walking down the side of the

A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there.

A guy phones a law office and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer." The receptionist replies, "I'm

One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating

A doctor, and engineer, a rabbi and a lawyer were debating who was the world's first professional. The