leaves

A computer walks into a bar and sits down to order a drink. The bartender looks over at him and says,

One day Bill Gates finally dies and goes to Heaven. Upon reaching the pearly white gates, he sees Saint

A man was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lbs. due to very serious health risks. As he wondered how

A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one Friday evening and read's:Dear Wife (that's

Tarzan was walking through the jungle one day and got into a fight with a lion.The lion rips off one

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey starts

Ali married Aminah. Ali was so innocent that he did not know how to consummate the marriage (actually

"If we don't change the direction we're going,

Yo mama so fat, she leaves stretch marks in the

A duck walks into a bar and asks the bar tender,

A blond was taking a shower when the doorbell rang.

A plane leaves Los Angeles airport under the control

A tourist walks into a curio shop and sees a life-like

Q: A man rides in on Friday, stays two nights

You sing so well you belong on a stage....... coach

A 70-year-old man went to the doctor's for a physical.

There are three nuns in a sanctuary who are about

There are these 3 vampires. The first vampire walks

Steve, Bob, and Jeff were working on a very high

One night a man decides to visit his local bar.

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He

Questions and answers selected from tests in Springdale,

A kid walks into a lunchroom at school and sees

Yo Mama is so fat, she leaves stretchmarks in the

A man walks into a bar and orders three beers.

Once upon a workday dreary, my stomach grumbled

An elderly woman comes home and finds her daughter

This guy hears that there's good bear hunting up

There are three men in the bathroom, two Englishmen

One morning, seventy-five year old Marvin is

A brunette was jumping along railroad tracks, saying,

A blonde decides to show her husband that despite

One day a man took his wife to the doctor and says,

This guy was really sleepy and needed a place to

There was a woman and her husband. They were happily

A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture

This guy lives in Westchester, NY and goes to

Three drifters are roaming the countryside for

One fall day Bill was out raking leaves when he

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs lying

Two guys are drinking in a bar. Soon, a gorgeous

A man decided to march in the holy crusades. Concluding

The proprietor of an adult store steps out to run

1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh,

A man walks into a bar with three little ducks

3 Irish monks have passed all tests, except for

Joe enters the confessional and tells the priest

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms.

How did the blonde die raking leaves? She fell

A blonde walks into an appliance store, and asks

A man came in to heaven and God wanted to go on

The Perfect Dump -- Every once in a while, each

A man wants to join the Big Dick Club, and heads

The Englishman's, Irishman's and Scotsman's wives

One Sunday morning, a little girl and her mother

A fellow was ordered to lose 75 pounds, due to

A travelling salesman is out in the country selling

A panda bear walks into a restaurant and orders

If a cowboy rides into town on Friday and three

This Koala bear hires a hooker on the streets of

There is this extremely horny guy who loves to

A man is working at a pharmaceutical store, and

A fellow walks into a bar very down on himself.

A newlywed couple goes on their honeymoon in Hawaii.

A little boy is walking along on a nude beach.

A guy in a supermarket goes up to the cashier and

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves

These individual quotes were reportedly taken from

A bald man with a peg leg gets invited to a costume

One night a man decides to visit his local bar.

When an attractive young girl returned from her

A ducks walks into a bar and asks, "Got any grapes?" The

Cross my heart this happened to someone. This guy

This guy has always dreamed of owning a Harley

    A guy sticks his head into a

A married man goes to confessional and tells the

A panda walks into a bar. He sits down, and asks

A guy goes into a drugstore to buy condoms. "What

One evening, a family brings their frail, elderly

A big shot businessman had to spend a couple of

The following letters were taken from an actual

A guy walks in to a bar with his pet monkey. He

    The Penis requests a promotion

Three engineers and three accountants are traveling

Listen my children, and you shall hear Of

For a couple years I've been blaming it on iron

If you want someone who will bring you the paper without first tearing it apart to remove the sports

One morning, on his way out to check on the cows the rancher says to Amy, "The artificial-insemination

A man walks in a bank, gets in line, and when it's his turn he pulls out a gun and robs the bank! But,

Closer Than You Think! An unemployed man goes to apply for a job with Microsoft as a janitor. The

A blonde is roller-skating down the board-walk one day. She's just skating along in her lycra pants,

A young girl from Ireland leaves home to find work in the bright lights of London. She comes home

A Blonde Texan city girl, marries a Texas rancher. One morning, on his way out to check on the cows

10. Your visa card and your belt both hit their limit. 9. She's been wearing an engagement ring

Arbitrator ar'-bi-tray-ter: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's. Avoidable uh-voy'-duh-buhl:

A big shot executive had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses

Differential Theory of US Armed Forces (Snake Model) upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operations

A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the

A wife reports, My Husband, not happy with my mood swings so he bought me a mood ring the other day

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart is only

A panda walked into a bar. He went up to the bar and said "I'd like a steak and kidney pie and a Coke

Amy, a blonde city girl, marries a farmer. One morning, on his way out to the fields, the farmer says

The George Bush Virus - Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction. The

A little boy was playing with a worm one day at his grandpa's house. Grandpa jokingly tells the young

Attached is some correspondence which actually occurred between a London hotel's staff and one of

George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes to hell where the devil is waiting for him. "I

Essential NEW WORDS FOR 2004 editions for the work-place vocabulary: BLAMESTORMING Sitting around

The day finally arrived; Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St.

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes

- You only know three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup. - You design your Halloween costume to

These, are real answers given by children. Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and

A Policeman was drilling 3 blondes, who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in

A New Hampshireman stops by a cafe for breakfast. After paying the tab, he checks his pockets and

For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much partying, but now I found out

A guy sticks his head in the barber shop and asks, "How long before I can et a haircut?" The barber

A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. She's laid on a hospital trolley bed

A married man goes to confessional and tells the priest, "I had an affair with a woman - almost." The

Eager to try it out, he takes one as soon as he gets home, and waits for his wife to come home from

A cowboy walks into a bar in Texas, orders three mugs of beer and sits in the back room, drinking

A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn't been feeling well. The doctor examines him,

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly

A guy goes over to his friends house, rings the bell. The wife answers the door. "Hi, is Tony

Steve, Bob, and Jeff were working on a very high scaffolding one day when suddenly, Steve falls off

A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks "Hey, Buddy! how long before I can get a haircut?" The

A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills

Three Kiwis and three Aussies are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three Aussies

A young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling like expensive perfume. She turns to

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes

Three women who work in the same office notice that their female boss has started leaving work early

A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop somewhere in Washington DC. Picking through the objects

A guy goes over to his friend's house, rings the bell, and the wife answers. "Hi, is Tony home?"