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- How do you define optimism? - A banker who irons five shirts on a Sunday. - What is the diffrence

A lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the headlights broken and considerable damage. There's no

This one is long but well worth reading!In case your frustration level rises today, this is for everyone

Little Johnny greeted his mother at the door after she had been out of town all week and said, "Mommy,

There was this little boy about 12 years old walking down the sidewalk dragging a flattened frog on a

A very flat-chested woman finally decided she needed

Two lawyers are leaving the office. ââ,¬Å"I

An Irish man with a crooked back walks into a coffee

1. "You get this round and the next round is on

I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary

Traditional Capitalism: You have two cows. You

According to a news report, a certain private school

One day a secretary is leaving on her lunch break,

A young man was walking through a supermarket to

Whether the cause is a previous night of drinking

Two Yankees fans are on a train up to Boston to

1. Leave permanent markers by the dry-erase board. 2.

One morning a man was leaving to go to work. He

And the Lord spoke to Noah: ''In six months I'm

Two sisters, a blonde and a brunette, inherit the

Three girls named Samantha, Janet and Rebecca were

Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School

A wealthy wife and husband were leaving to go to

How To Shower Like A Woman... * Take off clothing

A man and his pet giraffe walk into a bar and start

This guy goes into a tattoo shop and requests to

There was a guy, who was the most buff guy, and

This Story is true!!! For all of you who occasionally

Dear Santa: You must be surprised that I am writing

Long time ago, in the land of Persia there lived

MEMORANDUM RE: Computer Software Warning Last

Joe enters the confessional and tells the priest

A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday.

A boy was meeting his girlfriend's parents for

At the nursing home, Abe and Edna had struck up

A man moves from Ireland to New York City, leaving

Just as mom walks though the door, little Jonny

1. Get Your Biscuits In The Oven and Your Buns

1) You try to enter your password on the microwave.

A doctor at an (insane) asylum decided to take

Ghost Poopie- The kind where you feel the poopie

These two persons are discussing whether the state

A tourist has been visiting Cuba for a week. He

1. Your reason for not staying in touch with family

Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit lived in the same forest,

There's a woman that has a big problem when it

A man came home from work to find his girlfriend

    This is an actual job application

Male Seminarsby Females 1.  Combatting 

A guy dies and goes to heaven. It's a slow day

A very old couple book a honeymoon suite in a five-star

A guy goes to visit his grandmother and he brings

First and foremost, we are not obligated to do

    With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer

Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing

One day little Johnny went to his father, and asked

A young Bulgarian peasant girl of fourteen went

    The following information was

A young female teacher was giving an assignment

1. Men are NOT mind readers. 2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put

According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington was recently faced with a unique

A US Air Force C-141 is scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland at midnight. During the pilot's

Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of

I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me, and we all could use more calm in

Prior to our wedding, David and I met with the minister to discuss our marriage ceremony and various

TWO DUCK HUNTERS FROM WISCONSIN: ABSOLUTELY A TRUE STORY HEARD ON A WISCONSIN RADIO STATION REPORTING

This is a true account recorded in the incident log of Jasper Cty, SC Sheriff's Office. An elderly

Two Irishmen, Patrick Murphy and Shawn O'Brian grew up together and were lifelong friends. But alas,

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."

The wife comes home early and finds her husband in their master bedroom making love to a beautiful,

A man called home to his wife and said, "Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my

An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bed. "Grandson I wanna you lisin

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself

Dear Husband: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been

I am very detail-oreinted. My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability

Guy in Arkansas comes home to find two suitcases packed on his front porch. "What's goin' on honey?",

This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to McDonald's in Florida... and

John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Georgia. After

This is a true story.. An elderly Florida lady did her shopping, and upon returning to her car,

Dr. Phil was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You

A Man And A Young Beautiful Woman Are Engaging In A "Romantic Affair" In The Lovely Young Womans Bedroom.

A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They

A farmer has three sons. One day, his oldest boy comes to him and pleads with him that he is graduating

A man decides to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the

A cop stops a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. Since he's in a good mood that

Male Seminars by Females 1. Combatting Stupidity 2. You, Too, Can Do Housework 3. PMS: Learn

According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently was faced with a unique

A man calls home to his wife and says, "Honey I have been asked to go fishing at a big lake up in

It's time once again to consider the candidates for the annual Stella Awards. The Stella's are named

12. Specifications are for the weak and timid! 11. This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual

After living in the remote wilderness of Kentucky all his life, an old hillbilly decided it was time

A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They

The boss ordered one of his men to dig a hole eight feet deep. After the job was completed the boss

For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much partying, but now I found out

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few

A DOCTOR at an asylum decided to take his inmates to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached

A man who absolutely hated his wife's cat decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks

The staff at a local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's

A very flat-chested woman finally decided she needed a bra and set out to the mall in search of one

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry midterm. The answer

Alaskan Birthday Party Sam has been in business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He

A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady

All the good knights were leaving for the Crusades. One knight told his best friend - "My bride

Three women who work in the same office notice that their female boss has started leaving work early

A few days after Christmas, a mother working in the kitchen, was listening to her son play with his

Sam has been in the computer business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his

A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade class one day. It was a large assignment

A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $ 5,000 and feels really good about the

Fay Chester was a busy housewife with a demanding husband, six children and a large house. The only