letter

Warning on a curling iron: Do Not Insert Curling Iron Into Any Bodily Orifice... My bathroom has inadequate

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write

A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one Friday evening and read's:Dear Wife (that's

A father, passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything

Bob works hard and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym. His wife thinks he

How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.The most effective

TEACHER: Why are you late?WEBSTER: Because of the sign.TEACHER: What sign?WEBSTER: The one that says,

One day when the teacher walked to the black board, she noticed someoneandwritten the word 'penis' in

Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers

A gentleman on a flight to Atlanta had a serious

A snail owned a car and was painting a big letter

AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows. BULLETIN:

Angelina Jolie: I am so in love with my brother

There was a couple who did not want their children

Traditional Capitalism: You have two cows. You

Feudalism: You have two cows. Your lord takes some

December 1 - Blanch carcass from Thanksgiving turkey.

1. Blast the Phantom of the Opera at midnight and

A husband comes home early from work and catches

Ever since the Bush daughters got into trouble

Where do the characters go when I use my backspace

1. Leave permanent markers by the dry-erase board. 2.

Last semester I took macroeconomics and didn't

A young schoolboy was having a hard time pronouncing

Little Johnny was walking down the hallway at school.

Three explorers were hiking through a vast forest

A blonde dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates,

A new contract for Santa has finally been negotiated.

This letter was started by a woman, like yourself,

One day, Little Johnny's class was reviewing the

1.Stick your palm open under the stall wall and

Christmas was just around the corner, and a father

One day a teacher went into her class room and

A woman at a gas station noticed a spaceship landing

A modest young lass had just purchased some lingerie

The European Union commissioners have announced

How many perverts does it take to put in a light

In the realm of the Mighty King Gates who has pulled

Three sons left home to make their fortunes, and

Dear Santa: You must be surprised that I am writing

What are three two-letter words that mean small?

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when

A man decided to spend the night with a prostitute.

A mother had three daughters and at their weddings

There once was a man with a bald head and a pegleg

There was once a pair of high school sweethearts.

Artery: Study of paintings Bacteria: Backdoor

Lincoln and JFK started politics 100 years apart.

There was a couple who did not want their children

* The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, ''What's

It's wise to remember how easily e-mail can be

Mr. Johnson, a businessman from Wisconsin, went

Dearest John, I went to the door today and the

Eye halve a spelling chequer It came with my pea

1) Wine her. 2) Dine her. 3) Call her. 4) Hug

What's the longest word in the dictionary? Smiles.

1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your

What two words have the most letters in them?

A woman who was rather old-fashioned, delicate,

Once there were 3 little pigs who lived together

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated

1) You're Different -- And That's Bad 2)

A gentleman is sitting next to the Pope on an airplane.

A blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist. "I'm

JESUS is the Lord's shepherd. ELVIS dated Cybill

I called a company and asked to speak to Bob.

A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife:

The following letters were taken from an actual

The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He's

1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted

But Doctor, You HAVE To! In Turkey, Mehmet Esirgen, 52,

    This is from a contest on Long

Sitting by the window in her convent, Sister Anne

One day when the teacher walked to the black board,

On Tough Jobs that Involve Letters: “It's

One of the women with whom I work, Donna, has a

John invited his mother over for dinner. During

ASTROLOGY: tells us about you and your future

MICROSOFT NEWS RELEASE: It has come to our attention

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two

    Dear Son,    

Genuine extracts from Letters Sent to Landlords: I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned

A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened Then

A highway patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." Winston Churchill "A modest

The following is an exchange of correspondence between a customer and the Irish Railway Company: Larnrod

A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of the first exhibits they stopped at was the breeding bulls. They

(Actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his senator) The Honorable Tom Harkin 731 Hart

Grandma's letter; She is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes: Dear

Herbert A. Millington Chair - Search Committee 412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University College Hill,

A motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated

TO: MR. JAMES THATCHER, BRAND MANAGER, PROCTER & GAMBLE. Dear Mr. Thatcher, I have been a loyal

One of the airlines recently introduced a special half-fare rate for wives accompanying their husbands

It's wise to remember how easily email can be misused, sometimes unintentionally, with serious consequences. Consider

A young Southern couple got married and went on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately

If your unfortunate enough to have to visit Yankee Country - like Boston (pronounced BAH-stin), this

REVISED HIGH SCHOOL MATH PROFICIENCY EXAM FOR SO. CAL. NAME______________________________ GANG

John works hard and spends two nights each week bowling and plays golf every Saturday. His wife

10. Your visa card and your belt both hit their limit. 9. She's been wearing an engagement ring

"Hillary Clinton's 506-page memoirs has come out. So much of her personality shines through, that

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After

The Washington Post asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting,

by David Letterman 10. The cucumber has left the salad. 9. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower

A young girl on a year's training course in South Africa recently received a "Dear John" letter from her

Hello, my name is William and I suffer from guilt for not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters

Dear Husband: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been

The Mr. Right Rejection Letter Form Dear [____rejectee's name here_____], I regret to inform

David Letterman's Top 10 reasons why there are no black NASCAR drivers: (I bet his life will be miserable

In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft;

THE WIT AND THE WISDOM OF HOMER J.SIMPSON "Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That''s for Daddys,

Note: Sometimes a story comes along that needs no polishing or enhancement to make it better.

Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have? Female customer: A white one... -------------------------------------------------------------------- Hi,

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything

To the citizens of the United States of America: In the light of your failure to elect a competent

You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as

Written by Phil Maggitti Going to War with the Army that We Want. WASHINGTON, D.C. - President

This is how today's media would have reported the Normandy invasion to free those living under German

One day, a shy gentleman was preparing to board a plane when he heard that the Pope was on the same

Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble. (wait till you see the

The story behind the letter below is that there is this nutball in Newport, Rhode Island named Scott

A man attempting to set up his new printer called the printer's tech Support number, complaining about

A mother enters her daughter's bedroom and sees a letter over the bed. With the worst premonition,

The day finally arrived; Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St.

The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He's met by the reception committee, and after a whirlwind

A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween party. He doesn't know what costume to wear

A man worked in a post office. His job was to process all mail that had illegible addresses. One

(Internal Revenue Service, an agency of the government to whom Americans pay taxes on their salary.) --Always

The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary,

According to the Knight Rider News Service, the inscription on the metal bands used by the US Department

When Peters learned that he was being fired, he went to see the head of human resources. "Since I've

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all

"I just love the French. They taste like chicken!" ---- Hannibal Lecter "I would rather have a

MARKETING: You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in

A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately

Almost 150 years ago, President Lincoln found it necessary to hire a private investigator - Alan

A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida for a long weekend to thaw out during on particularly

In France, the young assistant pastors do not live in the main rectory. That is reserved for the

A man received a bill for his as yet unused credit card stating that he owed $0.00. He ignored it and

There were two high school sweethearts who went out together for four years in high school and were

Two psychiatrists were at a convention. As they conversed over a drink, one asked, "What was your