lights

In a west Texas town, employees in a medium-sized warehouse noticed the smell of gas. Sensibly, management

A lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the headlights broken and considerable damage. There's no

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car

A guy was seated next to a 10-year-old girl on

Stan and John are walking to school one day and

A Polish mechanic is fixing his headlights. ââ,¬Å"Help

A tourist is picked up by a cabbie in New York

Nervous Taxi Driver A passenger in a taxi leaned

Little Johnny and his grandfather have gone fishing.

RANDOM AND CHEAP MARTHA STEWART JOKES What is

Cindy Lou Edleman Performs Quality Sexual Favors

A blonde rings up an airline. She asks, "How

What a woman says, what she really means... I

1. Britney Spears & Eminem Who, combined, have

But everybody looks funny naked! You woke me

1. Hijack wheelchairs and speed around the hallways.

A few clues to being a true Louisianan: 1. Your

A guy is walking along the strip in Las Vegas and

Two twin brother, virgin midgets decide to get

A man is sitting at a bar one night, wearing a

* Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people

A new contract for Santa has finally been negotiated.

A black cow was standing in the middle of the

A young man gets sent to jail, and gets put into

12. In the Star Wars universe, weapons are rarely,

How To Shower Like A Woman... * Take off clothing

(Setting: A furious lightsaber duel is underway.

A man was driving along a dusty road, when he ran

Two guys are drinking in a bar. Soon, a gorgeous

You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay

One day Bill complained to his friend that his

A guy sees a classified ad that says "Will give

A newlywed couple arrives in their sumptuous honeymoon

(Disclaimer--Some of this stuff is illegal.) *Ask

Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven. At the Gates,

What kind of lights did Noah have on the Ark?

1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island,

A blonde and a brunette are out driving, and the

A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on an

In the suburbs, there's grass. In the ghetto,

10) When people go the speed limit in the fast

There was a chicken farmer who owned a talking

But everybody looks funny naked! You woke me

A state trooper spied a car puttering along at

Q: What does a blonde do when it gets cold?

One night three guys wanted to rob a bank. They

Three nuns die, but they all have to answer one

A young boy walks in on his mother in the bathtub.

It's a beautiful day and love is in the air. Marie

A young deaf-mute couple got married. At first

Two rednecks are driving down the highway, drinking

These individual quotes were reportedly taken from

A survey of top personnel executives of 100 major

Male Seminarsby Females 1.  Combatting 

    Johnny meets a girl on the street.

Two married buddies are out drinking one night

There were three babies in a woman's womb, and

But Doctor, You HAVE To! In Turkey, Mehmet Esirgen, 52,

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates

A few clowns short of a circus.Ã, Ã, 

ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE: Warning keep out

"Yes" = No "No" = Yes "Maybe"

    For all you guys out there who

One day, Jeffrey complained to his friend, "My

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said,

A man returning home a day early from a business trip, got into a taxi at the airport after midnight,

In the early 20th Century, Thomas Edison was spreading the word about electricity. Once, while

A young girl from Ireland leaves home to find work in the bright lights of London. She comes home

Two married friends are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other and says, "You know I don't

A woman sat in the waiting room when her octogenarian husband was in the examination room for his

10. The water-proof towel 9. Glow in the dark sunglasses 8. Solar powered flashlights 7. Submarine

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a

Slap Your Co-Worker Day is Coming!! May 22 is the official Slap Your Irritating Co-workers Holiday:

DINING OUT 1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly

No matter what you do or where you go, you're always going to be yourself. And Panexa knows this. Your

Researchers released a list of foods and activities to help combat osteoporosis, the dreaded disorder

In a small fishing village, a Newfoundlander was walking up the wharf carrying two - at least three

Sitting on the edge of the highway waiting to catch speeders, a state police officer saw a car driving

A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, "I want three flat tires, a pair

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always

Two rednecks are driving down the highway, drinking their beer, when flashing lights from a policeman

Here's why . According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 40's,

1. Never take a beer to a job interview. 2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting

World's thinnest Books available at a bookstore near you. FRENCH WAR HEROES by Jacques Chirac HOW

Male Seminars by Females 1. Combatting Stupidity 2. You, Too, Can Do Housework 3. PMS: Learn

SYMPTOM - Feet cold and wet. SOLUTION - Glass being held at incorrect angle. Rotate glass so that

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't

One day an Irishman, who has been stranded on a desert island for over ten long years, sees an unusual

A nun, really needing to go to the bathroom, walked into a neighborhood pub. The place was hopping

While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennis ball, and seeing none around it

A man returning home a day early from a business trip got into a taxi at the airport. It was after

My wife of 14 years is convinced she has Mad Cow disease... ... After all, she had a fast food taco

Here are some observations about the politicians who run our country. They are from a Washington, D.C.travel

If you recall the old Hollywood Squares show, this will bring a tear to your eyes. They are worth

1. When you get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?" 2. When

- You only know three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup. - You design your Halloween costume to

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto

A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something. The driver screamed,

By Scott Roeben was a very wise man. But you'd never know it because he used such fancy-schmancy

In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual

A blonde named Mary decides to do something really wild. Something she hasn't done before, so she

OK, I'm the only female in a house full of guys. 4 sons and a hubby. Toilet seat is never down...etc. SOOOOoooooooooo

One day, Jesus and the Devil were both working on their computers. Jesus was typing away. The Devil

Add It Up: Relationship Guide For all you guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is:

A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son's house. She rang the doorbell and walked

A new Mercedes owner was out on an interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze

The passenger tapped the cab driver on the shoulder to ask him something. The driver screamed, lost

Three rednecks, Bubba, Earl and Jeb, were stumbling home late one night and found themselves on the

A five year old boy and his grandfather are sitting on the front porch together, when grandpa pulls

A Russian, a Cuban, an American and a Lawyer are in a train. The Russian takes a bottle of the

A young man at his first job as a waiter in a diner has a large trucker sit down at the counter and

During her annual checkup, the well-constructed miss was asked to disrobe and climb onto the examining

Costello: Hey, Abbott! Abbot: Yes, Lou? Costello: I just got my first computer. Abbot:

A guy was seated next to a 10-year-old girl on an airplane. Being bored, he turned to the girl and