loses

Warning on a curling iron: Do Not Insert Curling Iron Into Any Bodily Orifice... My bathroom has inadequate

St. Peter is leafing through the Big Book to see if the guy is worthy of entering. After several minutes,

Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in O'Leary's apartment when Paddy Murphy loses $500 on a single

A tourist is picked up by a cabbie in New York

A blond was taking a shower when the doorbell rang.

A Mexican walks into a bakery and asks, "Excuse

Season's Beatings There's gotta be a better way

Two hobbits walk into a bar where one of them picks

There was this woman see, and she takes a lover

As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he

1. Your salary is less than your tuition. 2. Your

1. With a little effort, you could pull the bags

So this guy is in Rhode Island hunting for geese.

A tourist is in Spain, and goes to a fancy restaurant

A man loses his hat, so he goes to church to steal

This Avon lady was out selling her wares. She

A soldier at the Pentagon got out of the shower,

An elderly man and woman meet in a bar and get

A young girl and her boyfriend are driving down

A drunk guy is telling a bartender how much he

Jimmy White walks into a bar and orders a beer,

A blonde was about to commit suicide by jumping

The idea of a guy having two women at the same

Bill Clinton calls his intern. ''Come into the

In a trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through

A mother was walking down the hall when she heard

10. You've got a hole in your head. 9. Your master

You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. Your

A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the

I believe that earlier this year the US Postal Service also issued a set of stamps featuring american

A man enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems

One day George was betting on the ponies nearly losing his shirt, when he noticed a priest who had

King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. 2. Having sex in a twin bed is out

In case you have been waiting breathlessly for this year's Darwin Awards, here they are. The awards

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: 1 October 2005 RE: Christmas

Hello, my name is William and I suffer from guilt for not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters

Part of Air Canada's recent settlement with the Unions was hiring handicapped people! So, the other

A Mexican family crosses the border to the Land of Milk and Honey where the streets are supposed

Six retired Floridians were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Meyerwitz loses $500 on a single

A man fell asleep on the beach.He woke up several hours later and suffered a severe sunburn to his

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Unbeknownst to her, her 9

On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things

Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. Having sex in a twin bed is out

As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: "10 lamb

Description Missus manifests as a female humanoid providing cooking/cleaning features, and a sitting-room/TV

Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching TV and drinking a beer when he hears a knock at the door.

CLASSIC VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house

A man enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems

A blonde who's down on her luck is walking through a luxurious neighbourhood looking for odd jobs to

A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at

Little Johnny comes home from school with a note from his teacher, indicating that "Johnny seems to

Three women who work in the same office notice that their female boss has started leaving work early

A man decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at 2am, at