marriage

An old woman dying in her old mans hand. Old man begs doctor for some help and says: -Please help,

A young couple gets married, and the groom asks his bride if he can have a dresser drawer of his own

You may not be able to party after marriage if your wife is like this one.............:)Newlyweds This

In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.In the second year, the woman speaks

A judge was interviewing a women regarding her pending divorce and asked, "What are the grounds for your

A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested, "I am looking for a spouse.

How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.The most effective

A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem

Ali married Aminah. Ali was so innocent that he did not know how to consummate the marriage (actually

A husband and wife came for counseling after 20

Two hicks from West Virginia got married and were

Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man +

Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving

There was a man who loved baked beans, but they

A modern Orthodox Jewish couple, preparing for

Road rage: Who gives a BEEP! Why not raise a

Q. How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex? A.

1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless

SEX CONTRACT I, _______________________, hereby

Fail a class? Drop one too many? Don't worry about

A wealthy business man and his wife are looking

There once was a young man named Billy Bob. Now,

A couple were driving to a church to get married.

There are three types of sex in a marriage. The

Three guys die and end up at the gates of heaven,

Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth.

Three men want to marry the king's most beautiful

This is a true story about a recent wedding that

How is a hurricane like a marriage? At the beginning

* The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, ''What's

Three women were sitting around talking about their

Two friends, Bob and John were discussing sex before

Q: Why did the blonde smile when she walked down

"You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women,

Tiger Woods     A couple were on

A very old couple book a honeymoon suite in a five-star

Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing

    Marol spent her wedding night

NICKNAMES If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose

1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A

A very traditional elderly woman was enjoying a good game of bridge with her girlfriends one evening.

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb

Bad Metaphors from Stupid Student Essays (actually these are mostly similes, see Literary Terms) Her

Prior to our wedding, David and I met with the minister to discuss our marriage ceremony and various

Last week my tie caught on fire. Some guy tried to put it out with an ax! I met the surgeon general.

A husband and wife came for counselling after 25 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was,

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. Marriage changes

A woman married three times walked into a bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was

A couple arrived at town hall seconds before closing time, and caught a judge just as he was about

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff.

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, and

During the banquet celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary, Tom was asked to give his friends a

1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired. 2. What's the definition of a will? (It's

A young couple on the brink of divorce visit a marriage counsellor. The counsellor asks the wife what

BACHELOR: A guy who has avoided the opportunity to make some woman miserable. BRIDE: A woman

Love- When your eyes meet across a crowded room. Lust- When your tongues meet across a crowded room. Marriage-

Personal Ads That Were Probably NEVER Answered SWM: Roommate needed for six bedroom north side condo. $800/month

I think that 'Clueless' was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage

Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5

Tired of being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decides to solve both problems

A man and woman were having marriage problems, and decided to end their union after a very short time

Commandment 1. Marriages are made in heaven. But so again are thunder and lightning. Commandment

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia formally

for All Those Men Who Say, " Why Buy The Cow When You Get The Milk For Free" Here's An Update For

A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years. One night, during one

A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem

You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for

Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new

An elderly couple had been dating for some time. Finally they decided it was time for marriage. Before

After three years of marriage, Kim was still questioning her husband about his lurid past. "C'mon,

1 . Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. 2. Marriage changes

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs to be alert and stay cautious

A week after their marriage, the Redneck newlyweds paid a visit to their doctor... "I can't figure

These are actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. Her face was a perfect oval,

After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for a younger woman. The house was in his name

While attending a marriage seminar on communication, Wally and his wife Carolyn listened to the instructor

Dear Diary: Day 1 Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate. When

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. --Henny Youngman The best way

Never before had Sue looked in the box that her husband Fred kept under their bed. The box had been

1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers. 2. What do you do if your

A man woke up every morning and passed gas. After about eight or nine years of marriage, his wife finally

A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling

An elderly couple had been dating for some time and decided it was finally time to marry. Before the

An elderly pair (he a widower, she a widow) meet in a retirement village. They seem to hit it off;

"The thrill is gone from my marriage," Bill told his friend Doug. "Why not add some intrigue to