memory

Last year, my friend upgraded his GirlFriend 3.1 to GirlFriendPlus1.0 (marketing name: Fiancee1.0). Recently

Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from

10. This is your captain speaking and I don't feel

My new computer's the Bill Clinton Model. It's

What if Data Ran Windows98? WORF: Captain, there

Did you hear about the new Mike Tyson Computer?

Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth.

MEMORANDUM RE: Computer Software Warning Last

Q: How does a computer tell you it needs more memory?

Women claim that computers should be referred to

* It can be up or down. It's more fun when it's

1. Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.

These individual quotes were reportedly taken from

An elderly husband and wife noticed that they were

Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting

Is your computer male or female? As you are aware,

"I'm going fishing." Really means... "I'm going

But Doctor, You HAVE To! In Turkey, Mehmet Esirgen, 52,

Monica Lewinsky virus: Sucks all the memory

Dr. Seuss as Technical Writer If a packet hits

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. I work hard because millions on welfare

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator,

a.. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. b.. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian

"I'M GOING FISHING" Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream

1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't. 2..

---My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be. ---

A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the

Three elderly men are at the doctor's office for a memory test. The doctor asks the first man, "What

1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired. 2. What's the definition of a will? (It's

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Florida, are all excited about their decision to get

I am very detail-oreinted. My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability

- Your sister's a real knock-out. Is one of you adopted? - For the longest time I lived with a

Memory was something you lost with age An application was for employment A program was a TV show A

"Remember, never ask a geek "why"; just nod your head and back away slowly... " Dan Wineman Memory

Any woman can have the body of a 21-year-old, as long as she buys him a few drinks first. My memory's

The George Bush Virus - Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction. The

CHILD : Dad, where did I come from? DAD : Okay, we had to have this conversation some day!......

Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down

Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks you are an ass. Impotence...Nature's way of saying

Modern medicine has come up with some great new stuff to make life easier ...: St. Mom's Wort ~

He, who laughs last, thinks slowest. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film. A

Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids. Never take life seriously.

My wife of 14 years is convinced she has Mad Cow disease... ... After all, she had a fast food taco

1. "I can't find it." MEANS: It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I am completely clueless.

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go

18. If you can't feed 'em, don't breed 'em!" 17. Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks

By Scott Roeben was a very wise man. But you'd never know it because he used such fancy-schmancy

Two old pensioners are taking a trip down memory lane by going back to the place where they first

An entire new strain of viruses has just been uncovered and we wanted to get this information to you

A "Kinder, Gentler System" Sony has announced its own computer operating system now available on

Three elderly men are at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor says to the first man, "What is three

Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred,

Programmer compiled an array of reasons as to why he can't find a girlfriend with a good on her , reason