million

A man walks into a bank,yells at the old lady at the teller window, he needs to open a "fuckin bank account".

Michael Jordan made over $300,000 a game. That equals $10,000 a minute, at an average of 30 minutes per

Four friends reunited at a party after 30 years. After a few laughs and drinks, one of them had to go

A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him. As he sits down, the bartender comes over and

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay

A married couple was watching the show, "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?" Atthe end of the show, the

One morning a woman was walking out of her front door, when she notices a strange little man at the bottom

George Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld are

An Irish daughter had not been home for over five

Secretaries Powell and Rumsfeld are sitting in

A man climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai and gets close

A young man goes out and buys the best car on the

A tourist walks into a curio shop and sees a life-like

George Bush, Saddam Hussein and General Cosgrove

Saddam Hussein was sitting down wondering who to

A guy walks into a coffee shop and sees President

This week, the Bush administration finally released

A Drunken Night A guy wakes up in a drunken stupor,

A truck driver had a 2 day lay-over during the

1. Britney Spears & Eminem Who, combined, have

A husband and wife, out enjoying a round of golf,

Fifty Ways To Annoy Osama bin Laden If You're Invited

A pancake that has fallen on the kitchen floor

Dear U.S. Citizens, I have the distinguished honor

What is the top prize in the Blonde Lottery? 20

Four guys went golfing; one went in the clubhouse

I'll get a world record for this. Let me reach

There was an old lady and her dog who lived on

A doctor, a nurse, and the top executive of an

A millionaire decides to throw a massive party

A woman walks into a bank in New York City and

A man had a very small penis, so he went to a witch

Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study

One day, a little boy asks his father what the

Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize

Due to a mixup on Grammy night, Madonna, Britney

A man was scheduled to go before a firing squad

A man asked God how much a million dollars was

An old man is sitting on a park bench crying his

What do you call a bunch of millionaires sitting

One day a man was planting flowers outside his

A couple was golfing one day on a very, very exclusive

Two guys were sitting at a bar on the 40th floor

One day a group of husbands and wives went to a

One day, a fairy visits a lonely widow and says

There was a man who had a 25 inch penis, so he

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping

There was a guy walking down the street in San

1. Weed 2. Vancouver: 2 million people and

A guy is drinking in a bar, and the bartender asks

There was this guy named John that went to heaven.

There was a father and son who went on a fishing

There once was a man named Joe and he was talking

These three guys are out having a relaxing day

There are approximately two billion children (persons

Bloke: Would you shag me for a million pounds? Bird:

A salesman from KFC walked up to the Pope and offers

It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr.

Back when Bill Clinton and Hillary got married

Terrorists hijack a plane full of lawyers. They

If Oracle made toasters... They'd claim their

There is no truth to the rumor that the Florida

Did you hear about the Alabama Lottery? You can

A little old lady goes into the Chase Manhattan

A man walks into a bar and sees a man sitting beside

What do a lawyer and a sperm have in common? Both

Doris and Fred had started their retirement years

      AT&T fired President John

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A kid comes home from school with a writing assignment.

Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up?! AT&T

But Doctor, You HAVE To! In Turkey, Mehmet Esirgen, 52,

Santa was very cross. It was Christmas Eve and

'Twas the night before crisis, And behind White

    Psychologists have discovered

$ Michael Jordan having "retired,"

One day two deaf-mutes meet on the street. They

Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died yesterday

Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are

    'Twas the night before Christmas

For a couple years I've been blaming it on iron

A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery.

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. I work hard because millions on welfare

Closer Than You Think! An unemployed man goes to apply for a job with Microsoft as a janitor. The

A doctor goes out and buys the best car on the market, a brand new Ferrari GTO It is also the most

Congress Votes to Outsource Presidency, Washington, DC (AP) Congress today announced that the office

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men

Did you hear about the optometrist who fell into a lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself? Doctors

Jack's grandfather left him $10 million, and the next week Diane agreed to marry him. After three months

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks for their orders.

Joe grew up in Jamaica, then moved away to attend college and law school. He decided to come back

Down south, Bubba called his attorney and asked, "Is it true they's suin' them cigarette companies

A little town in southern Illinois had a sensational birth rate, and scientists decided to visit the

The AMA and NZMA has declared that the long term implications of drugs or medical procedures must

A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the

# 10 Life is sexually transmitted. # 9 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which

A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the

You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track. Logic is a systematic method

Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his

Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor

This guy walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window, "I want to open a freakin' checking

Personal Ads That Were Probably NEVER Answered SWM: Roommate needed for six bedroom north side condo. $800/month

"What Happens Here, Stays Here" is getting old, so a contest is being held for new slogans. Here

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one

Dear Husband: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been

It is with the saddest heart that I have to pass on the following news about a great American icon.. Veteran

1. "I got kicked out of Riverdance for using my arms." - Michael Flatley (lead Riverdancer) 2.

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. As he sits, the waitress comes

Differential Theory of US Armed Forces (Snake Model) upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operations

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia formally

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.

Bush and Powell were sitting in a bar. A guy walked in and asked the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell?" The

A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the

A Mexican man becomes an instant millionaire after winning the lottery. With his newfound wealth,

Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God. Looking up, he asks the

A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded,

Alabama: Yes, We Have Electricity Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong! Arizona: But It's A

I. There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa

WASHINGTON, DC (AP) - Congress approved sweeping legislation, which provides new benefits for many

It is with the saddest heart that I have to pass on the following news about a great American icon.. Veteran

The story behind the letter below is that there is this nutball in Newport, Rhode Island named Scott

A lawyer is sitting in a bar having a drink when a beautiful women sits down next to him. The lawyer

A man enters his favorite ritzy restaurant and while sitting at his regular table, he notices a gorgeous

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a cow born in Canada

I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock. I can't find my puppy, can you

Jack has died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Jack's Last Will and Testament. "To

SUNDAY: 0800 - My 33 Sons 0830 - Osama Knows Best 0900 - I Dream of Mohammed 0930 - Let's

A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale has hit Mexico. 150,000 Mexicans

CLASSIC VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house

Little Johnny comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. "Dad,

A gentleman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He says he is going

For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much partying, but now I found out

Three doctors were driving together to the hospital when they had an accident and all three died.

The American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with

DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You

A hip young man goes out and buys the best car available: a 1999 Ferrari GTO. It is also most expensive

A couple were golfing one day on a very exclusive golf course, lined with million-dollar houses.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they

A gorgeous young woman gets into a taxi one day. On the way, the cabby asks her, "Hey baby, would

There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his

A man was walking through a forest pondering life. He walked, pondered, walked, and pondered. He felt

A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his expensive wool

Bill and Moe had started with only five hundred dollars between them, but they had built up a computer

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, Holmes said:

A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop somewhere in Washington DC. Picking through the objects

The Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walks into a room to meet with his accountant. The Godfather

Back in the old Wild West, there were two blond cowpokes, Jeff and Dave. One day, the two were enjoying

A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it where the man verifies