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A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write

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A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years.He breaks into a house to look for money and

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There was a couple who were big over-spenders. They always dreamed to spend holidays in Hawaii, but were

The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late

An American tourist goes on a trip to China. While China, he is very sexually promiscuous and does not

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An Asian man walked into the currency exchange in New York with 2000 yen and walked out with $72.The

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A 13 year-old old paperboy knocks on the door of

One day a blonde and a redhead were playing together

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A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the

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There was this guy who lived in Chicago. He was

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Two nuns are at a traffic light, when a man starts

A Scottish wife, an English wife, and an Irish

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All good Southerners already know these, but in

So, a gay man goes to church one Sunday. As the

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A virgin boy turns 18, and asks his dad for money

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These three married couples died and when they

One Sunday, a priest asked one of the church janitor

A frog leaps out of the magical forest where he

If you love something, set it free. If it comes

John, who was in financial difficulty, walked into

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Yo mama is so ghetto, she puts food stamps in a

There was a woman and her husband. They were happily

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There's a guy who lives in Ohio. One morning, he

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A man walks into a bar and sees a large chest of

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A blonde and a redhead met in a bar after work

There once was a man named Dave, Who kept an

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A man was reading the paper when an ad caught his

An old woman walked into a bank and asked for the

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A thief stuck a pistol in a man's ribs and said,

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A guy is on a trip with his girlfriend and he only

Father Murphy was a very poor priest in a very

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A preacher wanted to raise money for his church

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One night two drunks were wandering the town trying

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Three guys are in a strip club. One guy walks over

The local bar was so sure that its bartender was

Once there was a farmer. He had two teenage sons.

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'Your mama is so dumb, she sold her car for gas

There's a man in the prison hospital on death row

A guy's driving down a country road when he comes

An old retired sailor puts on his old uniform and

This mafia family was in need of a collection

A lucky Aggie once won the lottery for $20,000,000

One day, a man walks into a bar with an ostrich

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A couple was golfing one day on a very, very exclusive

One day a man was hiking down an old dirt road

A man was selling his brand-new luxury car for

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There was once a pair of high school sweethearts.

A frog goes into a bank, and hops up on the desk

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A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly

A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking

This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She

A man goes to a doctor for his annual prostate

A drunk guy is telling a bartender how much he

This man decided that on his birthday he was going

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One night three guys wanted to rob a bank. They

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A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise

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One day, two drunks were stumbling around in the

A police officer pulled over a driver and informed

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Once upon a time there were three men lost in a

This Koala bear hires a hooker on the streets of

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A gorilla walks into a bar. The bartender comes

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A dying man gathered his best friends - a lawyer,

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Three men went into a stripper bar and this stripper

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One night a man decides to visit his local bar.

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A man from another country came to the U.S. and

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After the church service, a little boy told the

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A married man goes to confessional and tells the

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A new guy in town walks into a bar and notices

A madam opened the brothel door to see an elderly

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A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife:

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to

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A farmer has about 200 hens, but no rooster and

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A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada

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A guy walked into a pro-shop with a gorilla. "Is

One Sunday a pastor asked his congregation to consider

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A guy goes into a tattoo parlor and asks for a

Ru Paul, Bill Gates, and Roger Ebert are all struck

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One Sunday, Shane walks into a church and kneels

A poor minister was having trouble managing his

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Three engineers and three accountants are traveling

Donny is a 17-year-old ninth grader who is becoming

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A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery.

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A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two

A strong young man at a construction site was bragging that he could out do anyone in a feat of strength.

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Two lawyers, Bob and Bill, were having a heated exchange during a trial. The judge asked both lawyers

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Morty and Saul, are out one afternoon on a lake when their boat starts sinking. Saul the banker

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A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial troubles. Coincidentally,

An elderly couple who were childhood sweethearts had married & settled down in their old neighborhood.

One day George was betting on the ponies nearly losing his shirt, when he noticed a priest who had

A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened Then

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of the Granville Presbyterian

Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome. One has a cross in front of him; the other

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An angel suddenly appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean of the college that, in return for

Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of

A young Southern boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 of the way through the semester, he has foolishly

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A doctor goes out and buys the best car on the market, a brand new Ferrari GTO It is also the most

A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street together, and they both want a drink, but they have

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Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods are in a bar. Woods turns to Wonder and says: How is the singing career

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A Japanese company ( Toyota ) and an American company (General Motors decided to have a canoe race

A guy receives an ad in the mail for a golf resort where everything costs one dollar. He jumps at the

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A fifteen year-old boy came home with a new Chevrolet Avalanche and his parents began to yell and scream,

A trucker who has been out on the road for three weeks stops into a brothel outside Vegas. He walks

Bubba went to a psychiatrist. "I've got problems. Everytime I go to bed I think there's somebody under

A lady went into a bar in Waco and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He had the biggest

An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal

People who live in glass houses should make love in the basement. Never read the fine print. There

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, "I almost had an affair with

Jack's grandfather left him $10 million, and the next week Diane agreed to marry him. After three months

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of a small Florida church found

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A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks for their orders.

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. 2. Having sex in a twin bed is out

The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late

The AMA and NZMA has declared that the long term implications of drugs or medical procedures must

A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the

A little old lady is walking down the street, dragging two plastic garbage bags, one in each hand. There's

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Some retired deputy sheriffs went to a retreat in the mountains. To save money, they decided to sleep

A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the

Pretty soon, I won't be able to do anything except sit in my chair and read! I must send my thanks

Young Chuck, moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver

Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his

DINING OUT 1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly

The Washington Post asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting,

According to the FBI, most modern-day bank robberies are "unsophisticated and unprofessional crimes,"

Father: Why don't you get yourself a job? Son: Why? Father: So you could earn some money. Son:

These three men went into business together and the first one said: "I put up sixty-five percent

I was testing the children in my Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting

1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired. 2. What's the definition of a will? (It's

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An older couple had a son, who was still living with them. The parents were a little worried, as the

Grandpa watched Tommy pull a worm out of the ground and told him that he would give him 10 bucks if

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An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bed. "Grandson I wanna you lisin

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An elderly couple who were childhood sweethearts had married & settled down in their old neighborhood. To

A young fellow at the state fair stood watching an old Indian. Above the old Indian was a sign that

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Larry gets home late one night and his wife, Linda, says "Where in the hell have you been?" He

Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5

A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100.00. The farmer

A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking

Tired of being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decides to solve both problems

One day, a kindergarten teacher said to the class of 5-year-olds, "I'll give $2 to the child who can

1. "Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife." 2. "I've always wanted

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. As he sits, the waitress comes

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People who live in glass houses should make love in the basement. Never read the fine print. There

If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise. - Unknown Some days you're the dog; some

A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial troubles. While checking the

A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years. One night, during one

A woman was chatting with her next-door neighbor. "I feel really good today. I started out this morning

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Dr. Phil was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You

A man suffered a serious heart attack and had open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery

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George Carlin Speaks Out... I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George Carlin. I

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A man is in a bar and has one too many drinks. This beautiful lady sits down next to him. He turns

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1. Never take a beer to a job interview. 2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting

A cab driver pulled up at a stop sign near Central Park in New York. A stark naked woman jumped out

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young

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Modern medicine has come up with some great new stuff to make life easier ...: St. Mom's Wort ~

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A white-haired old man walked into a jewelry store on a Friday, with a beautiful young lady at his

25. Come up with 50 new shades of gray for Martha Stewart Paints. 24. Start marketing new "Martha

A large woman wearing a sleeveless sun dress walked into a pub in England. She raised her right arm

A trucker who has been out on the road for three weeks stops into a brothel outside Vegas. He walks

A science teacher asked her students "Children, if you could own one mineral what would it be? one

A small tourist hotel was all abuzz about an afternoon wedding where the groom was 95 years old and

One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer.

An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept

As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: "10 lamb

I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock. I can't find my puppy, can you

A man was walking in the city, when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking bum

A man returning home a day early from a business trip got into a taxi at the airport. It was after

A guy walks into a bar. He sits down at the end of the bar, next to another guy, who was the only

A man worked in a post office. His job was to process all mail that had illegible addresses. One

10. "Clocks are five hours fast" 9. "Everybody's speaking some crazy foreign language" 8. "Harry

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Dilbert's Salary Theorem states that Engineers and scientists can never earn as much as business executives

A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale has hit Mexico. 150,000 Mexicans

The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his

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A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back and

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The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary,

DRESS CODE It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you

A fifteen year-old boy came home with a Porsche and his parents began to scream, "Where did you get

A man and his wife were driving through country on his way from New York to California. Looking

The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing

An older couple had a son, who was still living with his parents. The parents were a little worried,

A lady went into a bar in Austin and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He had the

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An attorney was sitting in his office late one night, when the Devil appeared before him. The Devil

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These three men went into business together and the first one said: "I put up sixty-five percent

A company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid

Every Sunday, a little old lady placed $1,000 in the collection plate. This went on for weeks until

The staff at a local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's

Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and

A married man goes to confessional and tells the priest, "I had an affair with a woman - almost." The

The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of

A young fellow at the state fair stood watching an old Indian. Above the old Indian was a sign that

An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman are all playing golf with their wives. The Englishman's wife

DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You

It's just too hot to wear clothes today," complained a man to his wife as he stepped out of the shower.

Two bored casino dealers were waiting at a craps table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and

The story is told of a Mexican bandit who robbed a Texas bank of $250,000 and escaped across the river. A

A hip young man goes out and buys the best car available: a 1999 Ferrari GTO. It is also most expensive

A couple were golfing one day on a very exclusive golf course, lined with million-dollar houses.

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An Asian man walks into the currency exchange with 2000 yen and walks out with $72. Next week he

One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating

An American tourist goes on a trip to China. While in China, he is very sexually promiscuous and

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The parish was very poor and the priest tried everything he could to raise money. But the Bingo

A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer. "If I lose

There is an opening for a secretarial position. The man conducting the interviews asks each candidate

A fellow stopped at a rural gas station and after filling his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft

A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before his next

Every Sunday, a little old lady placed $1,000 in the collection plate. This went on for weeks until

Monica Lewinsky was walking on the beach when she found a lantern washed up on the shore. She started

Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect, who just couldn't control himself during

Three guys go on a skiing holiday together and to save money they rented only one room. After a full

A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me

Three Kiwis and three Aussies are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three Aussies

Some not too smart gangsters decide to rob a bank. After several days of planning they agree on the

One day long ago, a man and woman got married. The man told the woman that there would always be a

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his expensive wool

There was a man who had three girlfriends, but he did not know which one to marry. So he decided to

A strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength.

A lady is having a bad day at the tables in Vegas. Down to her last $100, completely exasperated, she

The pastor of donkey church realised that he was going to starve as collection dwindled every Sunday.

A mafia Don was golfing with two golf associates: a deaf man and his interpreter lawyer. Since the

There were two high school sweethearts who went out together for four years in high school and were

The Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walks into a room to meet with his accountant. The Godfather

A policeman pulled a car over and told the driver he had won $5,000 dollars in the seatbelt competition.

A guy called Jacob finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial

A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it where the man verifies

In a train compartment, there are 3 men and a ravishing young girl. The four passengers join in conversation,

There were two evil brothers. They were rich, and used their money to keep their ways from the public

A woman was cleaning her attic with her cat by her side for company. Amongst the boxes and old papers

Merv was in a terrible accident at work. He fell through a floor tile and ripped off both of his ears.

One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating