months

A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions

A man having trouble achieving an erection decides to consult a witch doctor.The witch doctor throws

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see

A very 'straight and honest' girl is going to Town. Before she left, her mother gave her some advice:

A man is out in the Chinese wilderness and he's hopelessly lost. It's been nearly three weeks since he's

Farmer Joe was suing a trucking company for injuries sustained in an accident. In court, the company's

There was a middle aged couple, who had two stunningly beautiful teenaged blonde daughters. They decided

A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem

RelationshipsWhen a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and

Some time ago, there was this artist, who worked from a studio in his home. He specialized in nudes,

Mark your calendar with the multitude of holidays

Three Texas plastic surgeons were playing golf

Three Texas plastic surgeons were playing golf

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to

A man goes to his doctor for a complete checkup.

A guyââ,¬â"¢s been dating the girl of his

A man having trouble achieving an erection decides

A couple wants a divorce, but first they must decide

RANDOM AND CHEAP MARTHA STEWART JOKES What is

FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS, CLASS OF 2003! First of all

A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was

A blonde was working on a puzzle. After ten hard

There was a man who loved baked beans, but they

The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI,

A snail is walking down the road, when all of a

Q. How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex? A.

There were two old guys, Abe and Sol, sitting on

And the Lord spoke to Noah: ''In six months I'm

There once was pirate captain who, whenever it

This middle-aged guy wakes up one morning and notices

A devoted wife had spent her lifetime taking care

Sandra and her husband Jim are expecting a baby

A couple were driving to a church to get married.

The LAPD, the FBI, & the CIA are all trying to

After World War II, an American soldier was going

A real tough guy dies and goes to hell, well he

This Story is true!!! For all of you who occasionally

A city girl was driving back to town after attending

Two residents at a nursing home became good friends.

Jake was watching vigilantly at his dying wife's

A woman had been married so many times she was

When the nurse was bathing a female patient who

There was this bartender & he was working at the

Once a lady wanted to leave the U.S.A. but couldn't

One day four boys were playing soccer in the schoolyard.

A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly

A guy gets out of the V.D. Hospital and decides

A woman was engaged to get married. She had never

Since Pope John Paul is getting up in age the Vatican

There was this couple that had twins and they couldn't

Last week I took some friends out to a restaurant,

A boss tells his new employee, "I'll give you 8

I'm currently running the latest version of GirlFriend

NASA decided to send a shuttle into space with

I broke up with a girl 6 months ago, she was a

Betty & Tim were killed in an auto accident on

A guy who has a stuttering problem says to his

A fat dude goes to his doctors, because he needed

A very respected Captain in the foreign legion

A fellow walks into a bar very down on himself.

A man visits the doctor's because he has a severe

For the first time in, oh, a decade, I think, something

A dying man gathered his best friends - a lawyer,

It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr.

Bill Gates dies, and ascends to the Pearly Gates

Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she

10. You're guaranteed to get at least a little

A farmer's crop was ruined for the year and he

I haven't spoken to my wife in nearly 18 months

This guy has always dreamed of owning a Harley

    One day many years ago, a fisherman's

    A couple go to Mexico City for

Two old guys, Abe and Sol, are sitting on a park

A few months after his parents were divorced, Little

      AT&T fired President John

Intelligence Test Instructions: Write each of

A young couple were married and they were having

This is from an actual trial in the UK.    

    A few months ago, there was

Are you considering having children? To determine

NAME: "Expecteria Trouserius" (Trouser Snake) LOCATION:

    The curator of a Western art

1) You define summer as three months of bad

"COMPETITIVE SALARY"  We remain

Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up?! AT&T

'Twas the night before crisis, And behind White

    Stupid people should have to

TO: Boss FROM: Blondie RE: Changing Calendars from

A young Bulgarian peasant girl of fourteen went

There has been a recent discovery among archives

Listen my children, and you shall hear Of

Three nuns die and go to heaven where they are

During WW II an American soldier had been on the

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out

A Scottish old timer is talking to a young man

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's

Monica's Diary Entry 1 Dear Diary, I'm so excited!

Find out what those dating terms really mean ATTRACTION..... the act of associating horniness with

1. Men are NOT mind readers. 2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her.

A banker saw his old friend Tom, an eighty-year old rancher, in town. Tom had lost his wife a year

A very traditional elderly woman was enjoying a good game of bridge with her girlfriends one evening.

A new manager spends a week at his new office with the manager he is replacing. On the last day

A US Air Force C-141 is scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland at midnight. During the pilot's

A retired corporate executive, now a widower, decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean

A young girl from Ireland leaves home to find work in the bright lights of London. She comes home

Bubba went to a psychiatrist. "I've got problems. Everytime I go to bed I think there's somebody under

A young man got a license to trap furs for the winter in Alaska. After buying supplies in a local town

Jack's grandfather left him $10 million, and the next week Diane agreed to marry him. After three months

Dear Mrs. Fenton, Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been causing quite

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After

"An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they

Two guys from Blount County are sittin' in a boat on Douglas Lake fishing and suckin' down beer when

An older Jewish man married a younger woman. After several months, the young woman complained that

10. Guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack. 9. If you get tired, wait 10 minutes

The Mr. Right Rejection Letter Form Dear [____rejectee's name here_____], I regret to inform

AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659---CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY A lady about 8 months pregnant got on

The Iowa Wage and Hour Department claimed a man owning a small farm was not paying proper wages to

January - Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight. February - Couldn't work

In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said, "Once

A man went to a psychiatrist for his phobia. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get

A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years. One night, during one

A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem

Married Priests in Catholic Church a Long Time Coming Prosecutors Want Victim in Courtroom During

Three old Italian spinsters die and go to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He

What the Job Ad says & What it means: Advancement opportunity: Sh*t job Entry level Really

The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are

A team of American and British archaeologists was excavating in Israel when they came upon a cave.

CHILD : Dad, where did I come from? DAD : Okay, we had to have this conversation some day!......

A young Catholic man goes to confession and says, "Father, it has been one month since my last confession.

RICH WIDOW LOOKING FOR MAN TO SHARE LIFE AND FORTUNE WITH THE FOLLOWING QUALIFICATIONS: 1. WON'T

This is the best lawyer story of the year, decade, and probably the century. A Charlotte, NC, lawyer

A US Air Force C-141 was scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland at midnight. During the pilot's

A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table,

An eighteen-year-old Italian girl tells her mom that she has missed her period for two months. Very

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take

Description Missus manifests as a female humanoid providing cooking/cleaning features, and a sitting-room/TV

Ahmed came to the United States from Iraq, and was here only a few months when he became very ill.

A devoted wife had spent her lifetime taking care of her husband. Now he had been slipping in and

I took some friends out to dinner last week, and I noticed a spoon in the shirt pocket of our waiter

"Sister Ann, aren't you putting on a little weight?" inquired Father Dan during his visit to the

A Lady about seven months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her.

A plastic surgeon invented a radical new face lift procedure and was explaining it to a prospective

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife

OK, I'm the only female in a house full of guys. 4 sons and a hubby. Toilet seat is never down...etc. SOOOOoooooooooo

A lawyer from New York was transferred to a small frontier town during the settlement of the West.

A young couple had been married for a couple of months, but the man was always after his wife to quit

Frank was excited about his new rifle, and decided to try bear hunting. He spotted a small brown

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 2. Learn to work the toilet seat; if

Alaskan Birthday Party Sam has been in business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He

A pregnant Irish woman from Dublin is involved in a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep

There were two old guys, Abe and Sol, sitting on a bench in a park feeding pigeons and talking

A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes

A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterward the doctor

A farmer purchases an old, run-down, abandoned farm with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise.

A lady about seven months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her.

In the old Wild West, a Eastern newspaper correspondent had just arrived in a new Western town when

Two assassins are hired to kill a dictator in South America. They follow his every move for months,

An elderly pair (he a widower, she a widow) meet in a retirement village. They seem to hit it off;

Sam has been in the computer business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the

TO: Boss FROM: Blondie RE: Changing Calendars from Y2K I hope that I haven't misunderstood your

A captain in the foreign legion was transferred to a desert outpost. On his orientation tour he noticed

A guy is stranded on an island with only a Doberman and a pig for company. There's plenty of food

One Sunday morning George burst into the living room and said, "Dad! Mom! I have some great news for

A middle-aged couple, with two beautiful daughters, decided to try one last time for the son they always