moving

The definition of an upgrade is removing the oldbugs and installing new ones

Late one night, little Johnny woke up to the some loud noises coming from his parents' bedroom. He got

A man met a beautiful lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away.She protested, "But we don't

The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of

After gaining a small family inheritance, a redneck family was visiting a mall. The father and son were

One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit

One night, George W. Bush is tossing restlessly

One night, George W. Bush is tossing restlessly

Angelina Jolie: Puckered squid in mammary sauce

1. If being chased through town, you can usually

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods,

Valentines Day is here again, and with it the perfect

SICKNESS AND RELATED LEAVE: We will no longer

The Keith Richards: Smoked lungfish on a toasted

* Silicon-enhanced chests and lips reveal that

1. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 2.

A sardarji was working as editor in a daily newspaper.

OBJECTIVE To disengage said bra without looking

1. Drive through the drive-thru in reverse and

How can you tell if a man is lying? His lips

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a nearby

How can you tell when a lawyer is about to lie?

Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School

You're so poor that yesterday I saw your mother

An old farmer and his wife had a bunch of pigs,

Q: There were two gay men and two lesbians moving

Three contractors were visiting a tourist attraction

Three couples want to join a church, but the pastor

Horace was born with only one arm but he managed

Jan.10 5:00 P.M. It's starting to snow. The

You are so poor, you were kicking a coke bottle

One day a man was hiking down an old dirt road

A man gets on a bus, and ends up sitting next to

I sent flowers to someone who was moving to Florida

An old man goes to his doctor and says, “I

There are approximately two billion children (persons

There were three men standing at the Pearly Gates

A man visits the doctor's because he has a severe

Titles Considered for Monica's Autobiography 1.

SYMPTOM: Drinking fails to give taste and satisfaction,

The following are a sampling of REAL answers

You might be a redneck if you recycle motor oil

Two old biddies were talking about their lives

WHAT WOMEN SAY & REALLY MEAN: CAN'T WE JUST

I called a company and asked to speak to Bob.

One Sunday morning, everyone in one bright, beautiful,

Three friends die in a car accident and they

    Stupid people should have to

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul

It was March 6, 1836. On that fateful day, Davy Crockett woke up and rose from his bunk on the main

A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall

On that fateful day, Davy Crockett woke up and walked from his bunk on the floor of the Alamo up to

A Japanese company ( Toyota ) and an American company (General Motors decided to have a canoe race

The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 8-year-old son in the apartment was

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. Garden

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you do that,

DINING OUT 1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly

One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches

No matter what you do or where you go, you're always going to be yourself. And Panexa knows this. Your

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself

Dear Husband: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been

1972: Long hair 2002: Longing for hair 1972: The perfect high 2002: The perfect high yield mutual

Arbitrator ar'-bi-tray-ter: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's. Avoidable uh-voy'-duh-buhl:

If Recipes were like tax forms.... * Line 1. Butter, a minimum of half a pound (8 oz.), but not

This happened about a month ago just outside a little town in the bayou country of Louisiana, and

In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said, "Once

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?" Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day

[The year would not be complete without the Darwin Awards - awarded every year to the persons who

One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of

I. There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head

SYMPTOM - Feet cold and wet. SOLUTION - Glass being held at incorrect angle. Rotate glass so that

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. Gardening

Despite how you may have personally felt about the issue, there was a good logical reason for removing

1. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards,

After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for a younger woman. The house was in his name

One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in the tiny town of Johnstown got up early and went

A brigade of Iraqi soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand

After dying in a car crash, three friends go to Heaven for orientation. They are all asked the same

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry midterm. The answer

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known

This memo is from an unnamed computer company. It went to all field engineers about a computer peripheral

On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class

Little Johnny comes home from school with a note from his teacher, indicating that "Johnny seems to

A blonde is driving down the road. She notices that she is low on gas, so she stops at the gas station.

One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit

On a plane bound for New York, the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw,