music

One day Bill Gates finally dies and goes to Heaven. Upon reaching the pearly white gates, he sees Saint

This story occurred on Melbourne radio. One of the stations has a competition where they ring someone

A judge was interviewing a women regarding her pending divorce and asked, "What are the grounds for your

What do you call a person who likes to hang around

Mark your calendar with the multitude of holidays

Jean Claude Van Dam, Steven Segal, and Arnold Schwarzenagger

Martin Scorscese is interviewing three action heros

Q: Why can't skeletons play music in church? A:

A blonde goes into a music store and asks the guy

1. If being chased through town, you can usually

10. Splash on a little goat's blood. 9. Play romantic

I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I

I think Santa Claus is a woman... I hate to be

Fail a class? Drop one too many? Don't worry about

10) You married your cousin's brother's wife 9)

The St. Louis Symphony was playing Beethoven's

Q: How many musicians does it take to screw in

What do you get when you play country music backwards?

Limp Bizkit and Dennis Rodman are on a sinking

A guy sees a sign outside a bar that says "Piano

A man was scheduled to go before a firing squad

Two men leave a store. One man walks to his Corvette,

* You wonder why singers Sting, Wolf Blitzer, and

1. Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out

1. The only place in North America to get bombed

One day, there was a man sitting on a bus. Since

1. You live in the center of the universe 2. Your

10. Likes people that oppress him: teachers, parents,

1) Spend all day at a fast food restaurant, seeing

Sag! You're It! Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy 20

A survey of top personnel executives of 100 major

Shit is a powerful word. Just think of all the

A young blonde stock broker was bored with her

This should be sung to the tune "A Few of

On Tough Jobs that Involve Letters: “It's

An FM station has a competition where they ring

1)  A Guide to Arab Democracies 2) 

Katie Couric, Charlie Gibson, Brian Williams and a tough old US Marine Sergeant were captured by

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." Winston Churchill "A modest

1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't. 2..

1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow. 2. Money will buy a fine

The elderly priest, speaking to the younger priest, said, "It was a good idea to replace the first

A British company is developing computer chips that store music in women's breast implants. This is

1. Sag, you're it. 2. Hide and go pee. 3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear. 4. Kick

These three men went into business together and the first one said: "I put up sixty-five percent

Personal Ads That Were Probably NEVER Answered SWM: Roommate needed for six bedroom north side condo. $800/month

10. Every Tuesday he insists it's his turn to be the siren. 9. He is starting to develop a crush

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: 1 October 2005 RE: Christmas

The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500 man elite fighting unit called the US REDNECK

David Letterman's Top 10 reasons why there are no black NASCAR drivers: (I bet his life will be miserable

D A M N I T O L Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours. ST. M O

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for

I think Santa Claus is a woman .... I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's

After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of

A nun, really needing to go to the bathroom, walked into a neighborhood pub. The place was hopping

A nun was going to Chicago. She went to the airport and sat down waiting for her flight. She looked

After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for a younger woman. The house was in his name

"Managing senior programmers is like herding cats." - -Dave Platt "Do not meddle in the affairs

Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting

These three men went into business together and the first one said: "I put up sixty-five percent

When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was

At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her

A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son's house. She rang the doorbell and walked

When Uncle Charlie died of old age, Bill was bequeathed his uncle's prized Amazon parrot. This parrot

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me

Two men, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day, were led down to the room in which

A husband went to work at 9 in the morning as usual. For some reason he had to be back home later during

David received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse