noise

Late one night, little Johnny woke up to the some loud noises coming from his parents' bedroom. He got

One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making love. All of a sudden a bumble bee entered

A man is out in the Chinese wilderness and he's hopelessly lost. It's been nearly three weeks since he's

The bank robbers had tied and gagged the bank cahier after learning the combination to the safe and had

Dirty Little Matt is sitting in the back of math class, obviously not paying any attention, when the

Q:Whatââ,¬â"¢s funnier than kicking a zombie

1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead

Three men were in a sauna. An Italian, a German,

At a club, 50 Cent, Britney Spears, and JLO are

What a woman says, what she really means... I

Two hobbits walk into a bar where one of them picks

But everybody looks funny naked! You woke me

It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered

1. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 2.

Once upon a workday dreary, my stomach grumbled

A blonde was at home watching TV with her friends

* Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people

1) Large, loft-style apartments in New York City

1.Stick your palm open under the stall wall and

A woman walks into a saloon and stands on a chair.

If you throw a party, the worst thing you can do

An Eskimo man awoke one day with the urge to go

There was an Indian chief who wanted to show his

One day Bill complained to his friend that his

A man walks into a whorehouse looking for a little

A guy walked into a bar and saw a golden mug on

1. See how many teenage boys you can gather by

A teacher asked a pupil a question, but she could

There was this man who really had to go to the

Why don't rabbits make noise when they're making

One day there were three boys walking down the

On the day of her wedding to Prince Edward, Sophie

An elderly husband and wife noticed that they were

1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or

1) Spend all day at a fast food restaurant, seeing

One fine day in the middle of the night, two dead

Twas the Night before Christmas, and all through

A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest

A guy gets home early from work and hears strange

A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload

Marge was in bed with a man (not her husband).

Listen my children, and you shall hear Of

    'Twas the night before Christmas

"Yes" = No "No" = Yes "Maybe"

On the day of the Royal Wedding, Sofia was getting

    For all you guys out there who

    13> Driving your fellow Congressman

When Mozart passed away, he was buried in a churchyard.

One day, Jeffrey complained to his friend, "My

1. Wear your glasses. Make sure your partner is actually in the bed. 2. Set timer for 3 minutes,

A guy is going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex products. At the first stop, he

The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At the

A married fellow gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes

Entries in a Dog's Diary: 7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite! 8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite! 9

Marge was in bed with a man (not her husband). All of a sudden, they heard a noise downstairs. "Oh,

King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could

---My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be. ---

"Late again," the third-grade teacher said to little Sammy. "It's not my fault, Miss Crabtree. You

Titanic was about to sink. People on the ship were shouting, crying, running and praying to God - just

Bubba decided it was time to purchase a new saw to help clear his heavily timbered property. A salesman

WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (the actual AP headline) Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego,

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage

David Letterman's Top 10 reasons why there are no black NASCAR drivers: (I bet his life will be miserable

After a night on the town, a young woman brought a new friend home for a late-night drink. "You can't

To the citizens of the United States of America: In the light of your failure to elect a competent

[The year would not be complete without the Darwin Awards - awarded every year to the persons who

Any woman can have the body of a 21-year-old, as long as she buys him a few drinks first. My memory's

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl. 2.

Two guys are walking through the woods and come across this big deep hole. "Wow...that looks deep."

Essential NEW WORDS FOR 2004 editions for the work-place vocabulary: BLAMESTORMING Sitting around

A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. "How

The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of

What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever. What do attorneys use for birth control? Their

The Wisconsin State Dept of Fish and Wildlife is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen and golfers

When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was

Add It Up: Relationship Guide For all you guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is:

As a mother passed her daughter's closed bedroom door,she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from

Three Pastors were having lunch together at a diner. The first Pastor said, "Ya know, since summer

It was early one morning when the Pastor heard a noise outside his door. When he opened it, he found

A Boston fan, a Yankees fan, and Pamela Anderson are sitting together in a train. The train enters

Three sisters decided to get married on the same day to save their parents the expense of separate

A little boy wakes up 3 nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents room.

A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs

Three women who work in the same office notice that their female boss has started leaving work early

There was a great eruption of a south sea island volcano, and the witch doctor appealed to the tribal

A truck driver would amuse himself by running over lawyers he would see walking down the side of the

It seems a young farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby