object

When you are counting objects, you go "0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D...". When asked about a bus schedule,

Enough with the Poking, Lets Just Have Sex He pokes her, she pokes him, they poke each other back

Last year, my friend upgraded his GirlFriend 3.1 to GirlFriendPlus1.0 (marketing name: Fiancee1.0). Recently

In a west Texas town, employees in a medium-sized warehouse noticed the smell of gas. Sensibly, management

There was this case in the hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed

An Arab has spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source of water. It gets so bad that

AUDI:Another Ugly Deutsche InventionBMW:Bought My WifeBrings Me WomenBrings More Women butBroke My WalletCHEVROLET:Can

An Arab has spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source of water. It gets so bad that

There was this case in the hospital's Intensive

A man has six children and is very proud of his

Why did the chicken cross the road? Part of a

How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? ââ,¬Å"Such

Bill Gates meets Hugh Grant at a Hollywood party.

One day Saddam Hussein was walking in the desert

My genitals are so gigantic, and yours so woefully

A GOOD ONE... enjoy. There was this case in the

486: The average IQ needed to understand a PC.

Whether the cause is a previous night of drinking

1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The

OBJECTIVE To sit in a cubicle and stare at a monitor

OBJECTIVE To disengage said bra without looking

And the Lord spoke to Noah: ''In six months I'm

This guy goes to the doctors office and tells the

1. A few fries short of a Happy Meal. 2. The

A woman at a gas station noticed a spaceship landing

If you throw a party, the worst thing you can do

What if Data Ran Windows98? WORF: Captain, there

A man who was having heart trouble went to the

Two aliens land on the earth, near L.A. They get

Rule One: I am aware that it is concidered fashionable

How many lawyers does it take to change a light

A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking

I'm currently running the latest version of GirlFriend

A blonde goes to work and sees that one of her

Ask for a seat for your imaginary friend Bobo.

* If the enemy is in range, so are you Incoming

You lose arguments with inanimate objects. You

A man was digging in his garden, when his shovel

1) Spend all day at a fast food restaurant, seeing

A little old lady goes into the Chase Manhattan

Woman: Attempt to wake husband. Feed baby. Make

1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment

The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are

1. You lose arguments with inanimate objects.

One fine day, Jim and Bob are out golfing. Jim

The following letters were taken from an actual

But Doctor, You HAVE To! In Turkey, Mehmet Esirgen, 52,

    William and Mildred were married

    DETROIT--With third-quarter

Dear __________________________,    

Two lawyers, Bob and Bill, were having a heated exchange during a trial. The judge asked both lawyers

With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, US troops in Afghanistan prove they've retained their sense

At a recent convention of biological scientists, one researcher remarked to another, "Did you know

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the

Entries in a Dog's Diary: 7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite! 8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite! 9

When you are counting objects, you go "0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D...". When asked about a bus schedule,

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your

One day little Johnny went to school. His teacher said they were going to play a game. She would place

1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play - normally one club and two balls. 2. Play

Jack had a blind date with Jill for the prom and, as the evening progressed, he found himself attracted

An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought

In Florida, an atheist became incensed over the preparation for Easter and Passover holidays and decided

Dear Dogs and Cats, The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes

The Mr. Right Rejection Letter Form Dear [____rejectee's name here_____], I regret to inform

I am very detail-oreinted. My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability

NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible

A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the

I'm worried that I'm losing my wife's love," the husband told the counselor. "Has she started to

A team of American and British archaeologists was excavating in Israel when they came upon a cave.

Attached is some correspondence which actually occurred between a London hotel's staff and one of

One fine day, Jim and Bob are out golfing. Jim slices his ball deep into a wooded ravine. He grabs

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself that he starts

*A few clowns short of a circus *A few fries short of a Happy Meal *An experiment in Artificial Stupidity *A

At a convention of biological scientists, one researcher remarks to another, "Did you know that in

A man has spent many days crossing the desert without water. His camel dies of thirst. He's crawling

The tourist was admiring the Indian's necklace. "What is it made of?" she asked. "Alligator's teeth,"

You met him in prison. During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway. He tells you

In the old Wild West, a Eastern newspaper correspondent had just arrived in a new Western town when

A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop somewhere in Washington DC. Picking through the objects

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself that he starts