outside

A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first

Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. One

Two children were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying very loudly.2nd Child: Why are you

Ah Lum was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 & 10. Not only did he do it from 1 to 10,

A man is out in the Chinese wilderness and he's hopelessly lost. It's been nearly three weeks since he's

Two weeks ago was my 45th birthday, and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went to breakfast

The young clerk's responsibilities included bringing the judge a hot cup of coffee at the start of every

There were these three guys. They had been walking for 3 days and were very tired. They found a hotel,

Little John was playing with his airplane in the back yard and his mother was in the kitchen washing

There's this guy who's in the market for a used motorcycle. Always wanted a nice big hog. So he's shopping

A man wearing a Democratic pin walks into a bar

There were four country churches in a small Texas

An Irish daughter had not been home for over five

There was this case in the hospital's Intensive

A trucker who has been out on the road for two

A firefighter is working on the engine outside

A fat man sees an ad that reads "Lose weight. Only

A blonde sat at the bar when the bartender's son

Yo mama's so dumb the weather man said it was chilly

Yo house is so dirty, when I walked outside I had

Knock knock You dumb ass, Iââ,¬â"¢m the

A man at a retirement home was walking around with

One day, a blonde left work early to go home and

In school one day, the teacher decided that in

What's the difference between a sports car and

Yo momma's so stupid...when your daddy said it

There was this redneck that walked into a bar and

A man is opening a restaurant and he asks one of

1. If being chased through town, you can usually

A Drunken Night A guy wakes up in a drunken stupor,

Eddie went shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally

A guy goes to a house of prostitution. He selects

A husband is at home watching a football game when

A preacher woke up one Sunday morning and looked

Season's Beatings There's gotta be a better way

Two hobbits walk into a bar where one of them picks

There was this woman see, and she takes a lover

Fifty Ways To Annoy Osama bin Laden If You're Invited

1. Hijack wheelchairs and speed around the hallways.

A GOOD ONE... enjoy. There was this case in the

Two guys were working at a sawmill one day when

George W. Bush told Dick Cheney, "I really hate

Over a gynecologist's office: "Dr. Jones, at your

Britney Spears and Christina Aguliera were building

A salesman''s car breaks down in the pouring rain

A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get

A drunk had been at a pub all night. At last call,

Bill and Ned walk into a fast food joint one afternoon

A private was serving duties at his barracks in

Two weeks ago was my forty-fifth birthday, and

As an outside observer, what do you think of the

A man, whose level of drunkenness was bordering

This guy walks into a bar with his golden retriever.

In the year 3000, animals rule the Earth; they

Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

Three guys are in a doctor's office. One is a drunk,

There was a young woman who lived with her grandmother.

A little old man stumbles into a biker bar and

A man strolls into a pharmacy and asks the assistant

There were two men sitting on a wall outside a

This guy buys a new motorcycle. The salesperson

One day while taking a walk outside of the White

What's the difference between a Porsche and a hedgehog?

John, who was in financial difficulty, walked into

From: General Manager To: Departmental

Johnny was playing outside when he really had to

A little boy runs into his house and asks, “Mom,

A young boy comes down to breakfast one morning.

A little boy came home from school one day and

One night, a father passed by his son's room and

There were three boys all in third grade: an Asian

This guy lives in Westchester, NY and goes to

There was an old woman on a plane, sitting next

This guy is standing outside on his balcony on

A soldier at the Pentagon got out of the shower,

It's Saturday morning and Bob's just about to set

An Eskimo man awoke one day with the urge to go

1. Throughly clean the toilet. 2. Add the required

A guy sees a sign outside a bar that says "Piano

Two residents at a nursing home became good friends.

A man walks outside to his car for work, when he

So this new bar opens and the owner can't think

3 bums were outside a bar.The first one went in

A guy walks into a bar and he orders a whiskey.

One day Mickey Mouse woke up and Minnie wasn't

A married man was having an affair with his secretary.

Three penises were talking to each other and the

Q: How can you tell Michael Jackson's having an

St. Peter was standing outside the gates of heaven

There was this little boy who had no name. One

A farmer was in a bar drinking and looking all

Jan.10 5:00 P.M. It's starting to snow. The

A man escaped jail by digging a hole from his jail

A little Native American boy asks his chief how

One day a man was planting flowers outside his

A couple was getting ready to go to a Halloween

There was a old man sitting on a bench outside

A man's house is on fire. He runs out of the house

What is the difference between a BMW & a porcupine?

Once there was a group of vampire bats that lived

It is Rennaissance Italy and Lothario and his friend

Once there was this man whose car broke down.

A group of guys are on their way to a party, but

What's the difference between a porcupine and a

Five pigs were standing outside a bar. The first

A comedian, new to the profession, is looking for

In a Bangkok dry-cleaner's shop: Drop your trousers

A teacher asked a pupil a question, but she could

Q: What's rough and hairy on the outside, soft

A woman walks in to a tattoo parlor and tells the

What is the smallest hotel in the world? A

This man decided that on his birthday he was going

If H2O is on the inside of a fire hydrant, what

What's gray on the inside and clear on the outside?

One day the farmer walked out to his field to feed

A man got pulled over by a cop because he was

There were once three boys in a classroom called

You wake up face down on the pavement. You

Mama always told me girls are like a box of chocolate

A man was sitting at the bar in a watering hole

Once a man saw a board outside his friend's office

A blonde was standing outside a fast food store,

Once there was man named Jim, who let his dog out

A boy awoke and wanted breakfast so he told his

John went on vacation to Helopisa. As soon as he

One day a blonde was outside of her apartment on

This guy comes home from work one day to find his

A man that lives on a farm wakes up and goes outside

There was a mamma mole, a papa mole, and a baby

What's the difference between a hotel and a fanny?

Why did the eskimo wash his clothes in Tide?

What's hairy on the outside, soft and wet in the

All men are idiots, and I married their King.

Once, a long, long time ago, in a small village

There was a little boy who got up one morning and

A man walks into a bar and sees a man sitting beside

A blonde walked into a gas station and said to

Your house is so dirty, I had to wipe my feet before

Q: What did Clinton say when asked if he had used

Q. If there's H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant,

You might be a redneck if you have to go outside

Cross my heart this happened to someone. This guy

A man in a bar has a couple of beers, and the bartender

Twas the Night before Christmas, and all through

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked,

I called a company and asked to speak to Bob.

After several years of serving the church in a

A man who was a little slow was visiting his wife

Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing

A group of third, fourth and fifth graders accompanied

-It is always possible to park directly outside

A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner for

Q: How do you know when it is cold outside? A:

People are always on the lookout for a new diet.

MICROSOFT NEWS RELEASE: It has come to our attention

Little Johnny was in church with him mom for Sunday

An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night.

Dear employee: As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for all department areas, we are

You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and

Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other

Mary was having an affair during the day while her husband was at work. One day, she was in bed with

Three old mischievous Grandmas were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home. About then an old

A priest from Ireland was assigned to a Texas diocese. One morning, Father O'Malley rose from his

I had checked into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely so I thought I'd get me one of those

A trucker who has been out on the road for three weeks stops into a brothel outside Vegas. He walks

What, you ask, is "Butt dust?" Read on and you'll discover the joy in it! These have to be original

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's

A highly timid little man, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, "Um,

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside the operating room. The

A group of Kentucky second, third, and fourth graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on

DINING OUT 1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly

Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor

Little Johnny had a cussing problem and his father was getting tired of it. He decided to ask his

Dear Employee: As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for department areas, we are forced

You might be a redneck if .... You've ever had Thanksgiving dinner on a Ping-Pong table. Thanksgiving

History began some 12,000 years ago.(Actually, it was 40,000 years ago.) Humans existed as members

1. No cars up on blocks for longer than three weeks. 2. No changing your oil in the street. 3.

I checked into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely so I thought I'd get me one of those

From : Managing Director To : Executive Director "Tomorrow morning there will be a total eclipse

This happened about a month ago just outside a little town in the bayou country of Louisiana, and

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.

Three little boys were concerned because they couldn't get anyone to play with them. They decided

To the citizens of the United States of America: In the light of your failure to elect a competent

[The year would not be complete without the Darwin Awards - awarded every year to the persons who

Man "Haven't we met before?" Woman "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic." Man "Haven't

George W. Bush and his veep running mate, Dick Cheney were talking, when George W. said, "I hate all

Some of us Southerners are pretty skeptical of horoscopes and the people that read them. If we are

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl. 2.

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Unbeknownst to her, her 9

Here's why . According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 40's,

1. Never take a beer to a job interview. 2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting

There were three boys all in third grade: an Asian boy, a Spanish boy and a redneck. They were trying

25. Come up with 50 new shades of gray for Martha Stewart Paints. 24. Start marketing new "Martha

The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar one day and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes,

A trucker who has been out on the road for three weeks stops into a brothel outside Vegas. He walks

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals had a habit

Two weeks ago was my 45th birthday and I wasn't feeling too good that morning. I went to breakfast

Some of us Southerners are pretty skeptical of horoscopes and the people that read them. If we are

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because

You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop, and you see

Your coworker has 8 body piercing and none are visible. You make over $300,000 and still can't

two Old Ladies Were Outside Their Nursing Home, Having A Smoke, When It Started To Rain. One Of The

What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever. What do attorneys use for birth control? Their

A fire fighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little boy next door

A girl was a prostitute, but she didn't want her grandma to know. One day, the police raided a whole

A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. She's laid on a hospital trolley bed

It's Saturday morning and John's just about to set off on a round of golf when he realizes that he

A Truck Driver was driving down the highway when he saw a priest at the side of the Road. He stopped

It was early one morning when the Pastor heard a noise outside his door. When he opened it, he found

The parish was very poor and the priest tried everything he could to raise money. But the Bingo

A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS,HONEY, COULD YOU FIX

One night, a father passed by his son's room and heard his son praying: "God bless Mommy, Daddy, and

A man was visiting his wife in hospital where she has been in a coma for several years. On this visit

A man walked into a crowded doctor's office. As he approached the desk, the receptionist asked, "Yes

John was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about

There were two factories in New York City. One of them made maternity frocks for expectant mothers,

A blonde is driving down the road. She notices that she is low on gas, so she stops at the gas station.

A fellow was walking through a cemetery one dark and stormy night. As he got well into the cemetery,

Steve is shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally finds one for a great price, but it's missing a

Two assassins are hired to kill a dictator in South America. They follow his every move for months,

A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she cut off a truck driver.

An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar was closing.

A priest was asked to dinner by one of his parishioners who he knew being an unkempt housekeeper.

In a train compartment, there are 3 men and a ravishing young girl. The four passengers join in conversation,

A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything. The

A man walked into a crowded doctor's office. As he approached the desk, the receptionist asked, "Yes