owner

A woman went to a pet shop & immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage

A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion.

Sam and a beautiful woman walk into a very posh Beverly Hills furrier. "Show the lady your finest mink!"

There's this guy who's in the market for a used motorcycle. Always wanted a nice big hog. So he's shopping

Mark your calendar with the multitude of holidays

A rather attractive woman goes up to the register

FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS, CLASS OF 2003! First of all

A young man goes out and buys the best car on the

One day a blonde went into a department store.

Saddam Hussein & his chauffeur were driving down

Traditional Capitalism: You have two cows. You

A kid goes to his dad and asks, "Dad, what are

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy

If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company,

This guy walks into a bar near a concert hall with

As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he

There were three dogs at a veternarian's office,

There was a guy driving down the road when he ran

A poodle, a terrier, and a great dane were all

5. "Sure we could have these people killed to

A man was driving along a dusty road, when he ran

Once there were two twins, Joe and John. Joe was

This guy buys an old bottle at a yardsale. Upon

There were three dogs at a vet's office. The

One day a lady walks into a pet store to buy her

A guy walks into a bar with his dog on a leash

An owner offered one hundred dollars to anyone

A nun wanted to enter a racehorse into a race.

A man walks into a bar with three little ducks

So this new bar opens and the owner can't think

A man walks into a whorehouse looking for a little

Two men leave a store. One man walks to his Corvette,

A blonde walks into an appliance store, and asks

Three dicks are talking about what their owners

Has anyone ever said to you, ''Do you know Jack

Last week I took some friends out to a restaurant,

A woman who was rather old-fashioned, delicate,

A guy (we'll call him Aaron) was laying down carpet

For sale by owner: Complete set of Encyclopedia

One night a bartender was closing up his bar and

SYMPTOM: Drinking fails to give taste and satisfaction,

Bob is a regular guy out at a local bar One night

There was a man once that was always talking about

As he is quietly watching television at home, a

A bald man with a peg leg gets invited to a costume

1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment

A man is in bed with his wife when there is a knock

There was a little boy named Johnny who used to

The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are

      AT&T fired President John

On the last day of kindergarten, all the children

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to

Sam and a beautiful woman walk into a very posh

It seems there was two brothers by the same name

A cowboy was passing by a ranch and decided to

Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up?! AT&T

BETTER HOLD ON TO THOSE PANTIES...THEY COULD COME

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates

As the manager of our hospital's softball team, I was responsible for returning equipment to the proper

Closer Than You Think! An unemployed man goes to apply for a job with Microsoft as a janitor. The

The owner of a drugstore walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall with an odd look on

A customer walks into a restaurant and notices a large sign on the wall, "$500 IF WE FAIL TO FILL

A redneck farmer from back in the hills walked twelve miles, one way, to the general store. "Heya,

On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher. The florist's son brought

In a small mid western conservative town, a new bar/tavern started a building to open up their business.

A man wakes up one morning to find a gorilla on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that

TWO DUCK HUNTERS FROM WISCONSIN: ABSOLUTELY A TRUE STORY HEARD ON A WISCONSIN RADIO STATION REPORTING

There was once an aspiring veterinarian who put himself through veterinary school working nights as

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings currently on display. "I've

An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help

The owner of a golf course in Tennessee was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask

1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play - normally one club and two balls. 2. Play

Bill and Hillary are at a Yankees home game, sitting in the first row, With the Secret Service people

This not a widely known fact, mainly because of the little-known popularity of the celebrity involved.

A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up. One is a good looking, older retired

Dear Dogs and Cats, The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes

One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Florida, are all excited about their decision to get

Arbitrator ar'-bi-tray-ter: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's. Avoidable uh-voy'-duh-buhl:

I am very detail-oreinted. My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability

A gas station in Mississippi was trying to increase its sales, so the owner put up a sign saying, "Free

If Recipes were like tax forms.... * Line 1. Butter, a minimum of half a pound (8 oz.), but not

Bill and Hillary are at the Yankee's World Series Game 6; sitting in the first row, with the Secret

An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to

A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG. BITES. FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL,

A new business was opening and one of the owners friends sent flowers for the occasion. but when

One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of

A guy walks into a bar with his dog on a leash the barman says, "Geez that's a weird dog: he's stumpy-legged,

The world's most avid baseball fan, a blonde, had arrived early at the stadium for the first game

Seems God was just about done with creating the universe but he had two extra things left over in

A biker stopped by the local Harley Shop to have his bike repaired. They couldn't do the work while

Rhonda went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the

It's time once again to consider the candidates for the annual Stella Awards. The Stella's are named

As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: "10 lamb

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against wall. The owner asks the

A guy walks into a bar. He sits down at the end of the bar, next to another guy, who was the only

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go

Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and

While riding one day, a cowboy met an Indian riding along with a dog and a sheep and he began a conversation.

"Managing senior programmers is like herding cats." - -Dave Platt "Do not meddle in the affairs

A man was out walking a dog, and a woman stopped to admire the animal. "What's your dog's name?"

A man wakes up one morning to find a gorilla on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure

One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop looking for an unusual Christmas gift for

This guy sees a sign in front of a house "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells

A hip young man goes out and buys the best car available: a 1999 Ferrari GTO. It is also most expensive

A new Mercedes owner was out on an interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze

A blonde who's down on her luck is walking through a luxurious neighbourhood looking for odd jobs to

A driver is pulled over by a policeman. Man: Is there a problem Officer? Officer: Sir, you were

An unemployed guy goes door-to-door looking for work. One home-owner hands him a brush and a tin of

A circus owner walked into a shop to see everyone crowded around a table watching a little show. On

A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at

A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, bee-lines for a butcher shop and steals a roast. The butcher

A woman wanted a pet so she went to the local pet shop. She looked at the dogs and the cats but finally

Two women that are dog owners are arguing about which dog is smarter.... First Woman : "My dog is

A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop somewhere in Washington DC. Picking through the objects

A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for the local butcher shop and steals a roast off

A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for the

An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to

A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything. The