parents

- Is it true that you stole his bride? - Of course. - Did someone help you? - Of course. His pare

Late one night, little Johnny woke up to the some loud noises coming from his parents' bedroom. He got

There was this little boy about 12 years old walking down the sidewalk dragging a flattened frog on a

A Jewish student was doing well in school in all subjects except for Math. So his parents decide to send

A judge was interviewing a women regarding her pending divorce and asked, "What are the grounds for your

There's this guy who's in the market for a used motorcycle. Always wanted a nice big hog. So he's shopping

Q: What's the hardest thing about rollerblading?A:

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night

Here are the top nine comments made by sports commentators

Yo mama is so fat, after your parents have sex,

A Jewish student was doing well in school in all

A boy walks into his parents room to find his mom

Eddie went shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally

A kid goes to his dad and asks, "Dad, what are

Season's Beatings There's gotta be a better way

But everybody looks funny naked! You woke me

Joe and Wanda had a small apartment in the city.

It's legal to earn money playing hockey Many people

You know you're in trouble when... 1. The McDonald's

On the first day of school, a teacher asked her

G. W. Bush was very depressed that people were

During his campaign, George W. Bush and his advisors

Don't Say This to Your New Girlfriend's Parents... 1.

These are excuse notes from parents (with their

There once was this guy who was going on a date

Before you leave your house... 1. Put on a little

One day, the phone rang, and a little boy answered. "May

A teacher asks her students if they're Yankees

What's the position to make ugly babies? Ask

There once was a little kid named Billy who loved

A little boy and his father are walking down the

Son: Dad, I have to do a special report for school.

There once was a young man named Billy Bob. Now,

One day a guy and a girl were making out in her

It's the first day of kindergarten, and the teacher

A kid walks by his parents having sex asks what's

Early one morning, the milkman was doing his rounds.

One day this guy was sitting at this bar in Chicago

Dear Santa: You must be surprised that I am writing

How did Helen Keller parents punish him as a child?

A southern girl returned home after a summer with

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms.

A boy was meeting his girlfriend's parents for

Rule One: I am aware that it is concidered fashionable

A young boy walks into a whore house dragging a

This is a true story about a recent wedding that

There was once a pair of high school sweethearts.

A teacher was teaching her second grade class about

1. You live in the center of the universe 2. Your

There was a young man whose parents beat him all

A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise

One day a blonde and her friend and their parents

A little boy was walking down the hall one day

A young boy walks in on his mother in the bathtub.

A little boy walks in on his parents having sex

A man was walking on the beach when he happened

10. Likes people that oppress him: teachers, parents,

A grade school teacher was asking students what

All men are idiots, and I married their King.

Learn from your parents' mistakes -- use birth

If you and I were squirrels, could I bust

This guy has always dreamed of owning a Harley

    One day many years ago, a fisherman's

A few months after his parents were divorced, Little

As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get

Joe and Wanda had a small apartment in the city

A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked

A male whale and his mate were swimming around

A mother was walking down the hall when she heard

It seems that a young couple had just gotten married

A couple had two little boys, ages eight and ten,

You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. Your

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night

You know your grandparents are doing it when... 10.

ASTROLOGY: tells us about you and your future

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "What human body part increases to ten

After hearing a couple's complaints that their intimate life wasn't what it used to be, the sex counselor

INFORMATION YOU NEED TO HELP YOU CHOOSE YOUR NEXT HEALTH PLAN .. Q. What does HMO stand for? A.

A teacher told her young class to ask their parents for a family story with a moral at the end of it,

A young Southern boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 of the way through the semester, he has foolishly

Congress Votes to Outsource Presidency, Washington, DC (AP) Congress today announced that the office

The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 8-year-old son in the apartment was

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.'

Little Johnny is passing his parents' bedroom in the middle of the night, in search of a glass of water. Hearing

Little Zachary was doing poorly in math. His parents, after exhausting all other incentives, finally

A fifteen year-old boy came home with a new Chevrolet Avalanche and his parents began to yell and scream,

A five year old boy comes to visit his grandparents and notices his grandfather sitting on the porch,

On a farm out in the country lived a man and a woman and their three sons. Early one morning, the woman

Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wong's have a new baby. The nurse brings over a lovely,

"An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they

DINING OUT 1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly

There were three little boys visiting their grandparents. The oldest came out and asked his grandpa,

Q. When is a retiree's bedtime? A. Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch. Q. How many

An older couple had a son, who was still living with them. The parents were a little worried, as the

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with

Hello, my name is William and I suffer from guilt for not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters

The Mr. Right Rejection Letter Form Dear [____rejectee's name here_____], I regret to inform

1972: Long hair 2002: Longing for hair 1972: The perfect high 2002: The perfect high yield mutual

A boy was taking care of his baby sister while his parents went to town shopping. He decided to go

Little Tommy was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything; tutors, flash cards,

NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible

One day a teacher was teaching religion, when she asked the class "What part of your body do you think

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.

Note: Sometimes a story comes along that needs no polishing or enhancement to make it better.

After a night on the town, a young woman brought a new friend home for a late-night drink. "You can't

[The year would not be complete without the Darwin Awards - awarded every year to the persons who

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for

* Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot. * Learn from your parents' mistakes

George Carlin Speaks Out... I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George Carlin. I

Married Priests in Catholic Church a Long Time Coming Prosecutors Want Victim in Courtroom During

Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new

Little Johnny 's next door neighbors had a baby. Unfortunately, the little baby was born with no ears. When

Dear Abby, I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier

1. Never take a beer to a job interview. 2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting

I promise you cannot read these and not laugh out loud! These are real notes written from parents

If you recall the old Hollywood Squares show, this will bring a tear to your eyes. They are worth

Mama and Papa bear were splitting up, and baby bear had to decide who he was going to live with.

A fifteen year-old boy came home with a Porsche and his parents began to scream, "Where did you get

One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they were appalled

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In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to 10

An older couple had a son, who was still living with his parents. The parents were a little worried,

An attorney was sitting in his office late one night, when the Devil appeared before him. The Devil

A group of girlfriends are on vacation, when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads, "For

Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked

MARKETING: You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in

Three sisters decided to get married on the same day to save their parents the expense of separate

A little boy wakes up 3 nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents room.

Steve is shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally finds one for a great price, but it's missing a

"Daddy, where did I come from?" the seven-year-old asked. It was a moment for which her parents

A young man was delighted to finally be asked home to meet the parents. He was quite nervous about

A child custody case was held in court. The judge felt that the mother and father were both fit to

There were two high school sweethearts who went out together for four years in high school and were

A ten-year-old boy was failing math. His parents tried everything from tutors to hypnosis, but to no

A young woman brings home her fiancee to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father