Jokes
Making people happy withour Gordon Brown, George Bush & Saparmurat Niyazov
Gordon Brown, George Bush and Saparmurat Niyazov are flying to a world economic summit. Saparmurat looks
Stupid warnings
Warning on a curling iron: Do Not Insert Curling Iron Into Any Bodily Orifice... My bathroom has inadequate
My roses are fading
A plane takes off from the Tbilisi airport in Georgia. A passenger storms the pilot's cabin, waving an
Area 51
You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as
Four Friends
Four friends reunited at a party after 30 years. After a few laughs and drinks, one of them had to go
Forest Fire
The photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great forest fire. Smoke at
Blind Pilot
One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit
The world's smartest man
In a small airplane there were four people: the pilot, the Pope, Bill Gates and a hitchhiker. They were
George Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld are f
George Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld are
Shirts Off
A woman sat on a plane heading for New York, when
Pilot and Co-Pilot
A plane leaves Los Angeles airport under the control
A plane is on its way to Houston when a ...
A plane is on its way to Houston when a blonde
George and Laura Bush were on a private...
George and Laura Bush were on a private jet en
Concorde Humor 2
''What are you doing tonight?'' asked the Air France
Thank You For Flying With Us
A 747 was starting its descent and the pilot had
Amputee Escaping
During WWII a fighter pilot was shot down over
The Golden Fiddle
A pilot was forced to make a crash landing in a
Star Wars -vs- Star Trek
12. In the Star Wars universe, weapons are rarely,
Blonde Passenger
A blonde is on a four-engine plane crossing the
Louis, The French Fighter Pilot
Louis, the French Fighter Pilot, was lying with
Stumpy and His Wife
Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the state fair
Helisoft
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when
Madonna, Britney and Christina
Due to a mixup on Grammy night, Madonna, Britney
This Is a Recording
A plane was once flying over an island when the
Flood Shmud
It was flooding in California. As the flood waters
Endurance Tests
Three hang-glider pilots, one Irish, one Australian,
God Bless Us
There are five people on a plane that's crashing.
Things You Don't Want to Hear in the Airport
10.) ''We have a lost child at gate D-4, the bidding
It Happened at 40,000 Feet
While cruising at 40,000 feet, the airplane shuddered
Pierre the Fighter Pilot
It's a beautiful day and love is in the air. Marie
First Class Blondie
A beautiful young blond woman boards a plane to
African Tribal Impotency Treatment
There was once a man who had problems satisfying
Squawks
Squawks are problems left behind by airplane pilots
Why Most Professions Are Dirty
The Doctor because he says, "Take off your clothes." The
Dick Cheney and the Bushes
Dick Cheney, President Bush
A Misuse of NASA Technology
Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to
I'm a Photographer, Not a...
A photographer for a national magazine was assigned
Bumper Stickers III
Who lit the fuse on your tampon? Support Cannibalism
A Pilot Reminisces
A World War II pilot is reminiscing before school children about his flying days during the war.
Greenland
A US Air Force C-141 is scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland at midnight. During the pilot's
Three Doors
An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover
Photographer
A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to take pictures of a great forest fire. He was
50 Dollars
Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, "Esther,
Taxiway
While taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport, the crew of a U.S. Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale
Moral of the Story
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with
History Lesson
History began some 12,000 years ago.(Actually, it was 40,000 years ago.) Humans existed as members
Best not to Boast
Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one
Snake Model
Differential Theory of US Armed Forces (Snake Model) upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operations
Muslim Extremist Bumper Stickers
My other car is a bomb This vehicle makes wide right turns into buildings Allah is my co-pilot My
The Marine Way
As a crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a five-year-old boy who picks
Blind Pilots
Part of Air Canada's recent settlement with the Unions was hiring handicapped people! So, the other
C-141
A US Air Force C-141 was scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland at midnight. During the pilot's
State Fair
Johnny and his wife went to the State Fair every year. Every year Johnny would say, "I'd like to ride
The intercom
A jumbo jet is just coming into the Toronto Airport on it's final approach. The pilot comes on the
I'm A Pilot
The chief of staff of the US Army decided that he would personally intervene in the recruiting crisis
Lost Helicopter
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all
Maintenance Complaints
Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual
First Class
On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class
Automatic Aeroplane
The world's first fully computerized airliner was ready for its maiden flight without pilots or crew.
Penguin Game
A Mexican newspaper reports that bored Royal Air Force pilots stationed on the Falkland Islands have
Two Blind Pilots
One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit
In Thick Fog
There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives
The Stewardess
An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had
Flight to New York
On a plane bound for New York, the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class
Flying Lessons
A photographer from a well know national magazine was assigned to cover the fires at Yellowstone
The Blonde Flight Attendant
An airline captain was helping a new blonde flight attendant prepare for her first overnight trip. Upon
Michael Jackson and boys
so michael jackson is on his private plane...and he's in the back with a bunch of little boys. So