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Making people happy withour Gordon Brown, George Bush & Saparmurat Niyazov

Gordon Brown, George Bush and Saparmurat Niyazov are flying to a world economic summit. Saparmurat looks

Stupid warnings

Warning on a curling iron: Do Not Insert Curling Iron Into Any Bodily Orifice... My bathroom has inadequate

My roses are fading

A plane takes off from the Tbilisi airport in Georgia. A passenger storms the pilot's cabin, waving an

Area 51

You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as

Four Friends

Four friends reunited at a party after 30 years. After a few laughs and drinks, one of them had to go

Forest Fire

The photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great forest fire. Smoke at

Blind Pilot

One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit

The world's smartest man

In a small airplane there were four people: the pilot, the Pope, Bill Gates and a hitchhiker. They were

George Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld are f

George Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld are

Shirts Off

A woman sat on a plane heading for New York, when

Pilot and Co-Pilot

A plane leaves Los Angeles airport under the control

A plane is on its way to Houston when a ...

A plane is on its way to Houston when a blonde

George and Laura Bush were on a private...

George and Laura Bush were on a private jet en

Concorde Humor 2

''What are you doing tonight?'' asked the Air France

Thank You For Flying With Us

A 747 was starting its descent and the pilot had

Amputee Escaping

During WWII a fighter pilot was shot down over

The Golden Fiddle

A pilot was forced to make a crash landing in a

Star Wars -vs- Star Trek

12. In the Star Wars universe, weapons are rarely,

Blonde Passenger

A blonde is on a four-engine plane crossing the

Louis, The French Fighter Pilot

Louis, the French Fighter Pilot, was lying with

Stumpy and His Wife

Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the state fair

Helisoft

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when

Madonna, Britney and Christina

Due to a mixup on Grammy night, Madonna, Britney

This Is a Recording

A plane was once flying over an island when the

Flood Shmud

It was flooding in California. As the flood waters

Endurance Tests

Three hang-glider pilots, one Irish, one Australian,

God Bless Us

There are five people on a plane that's crashing.

Things You Don't Want to Hear in the Airport

10.) ''We have a lost child at gate D-4, the bidding

It Happened at 40,000 Feet

While cruising at 40,000 feet, the airplane shuddered

Pierre the Fighter Pilot

It's a beautiful day and love is in the air. Marie

First Class Blondie

A beautiful young blond woman boards a plane to

African Tribal Impotency Treatment

There was once a man who had problems satisfying

Squawks

Squawks are problems left behind by airplane pilots

Why Most Professions Are Dirty

The Doctor because he says, "Take off your clothes." The

Dick Cheney and the Bushes

    Dick Cheney, President Bush

A Misuse of NASA Technology

Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to

I'm a Photographer, Not a...

A photographer for a national magazine was assigned

Bumper Stickers III

Who lit the fuse on your tampon? Support Cannibalism

A Pilot Reminisces

A World War II pilot is reminiscing before school children about his flying days during the war.

Greenland

A US Air Force C-141 is scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland at midnight. During the pilot's

Three Doors

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover

Photographer

A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to take pictures of a great forest fire. He was

50 Dollars

Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, "Esther,

Taxiway

While taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport, the crew of a U.S. Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale

Moral of the Story

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with

History Lesson

History began some 12,000 years ago.(Actually, it was 40,000 years ago.) Humans existed as members

Best not to Boast

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one

Snake Model

Differential Theory of US Armed Forces (Snake Model) upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operations

Muslim Extremist Bumper Stickers

My other car is a bomb This vehicle makes wide right turns into buildings Allah is my co-pilot My

The Marine Way

As a crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a five-year-old boy who picks

Blind Pilots

Part of Air Canada's recent settlement with the Unions was hiring handicapped people! So, the other

C-141

A US Air Force C-141 was scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland at midnight. During the pilot's

State Fair

Johnny and his wife went to the State Fair every year. Every year Johnny would say, "I'd like to ride

The intercom

A jumbo jet is just coming into the Toronto Airport on it's final approach. The pilot comes on the

I'm A Pilot

The chief of staff of the US Army decided that he would personally intervene in the recruiting crisis

Lost Helicopter

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all

Maintenance Complaints

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual

First Class

On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class

Automatic Aeroplane

The world's first fully computerized airliner was ready for its maiden flight without pilots or crew.

Penguin Game

A Mexican newspaper reports that bored Royal Air Force pilots stationed on the Falkland Islands have

Two Blind Pilots

One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit

In Thick Fog

There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives

The Stewardess

An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had

Flight to New York

On a plane bound for New York, the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class

Flying Lessons

A photographer from a well know national magazine was assigned to cover the fires at Yellowstone

The Blonde Flight Attendant

An airline captain was helping a new blonde flight attendant prepare for her first overnight trip. Upon

Michael Jackson and boys

so michael jackson is on his private plane...and he's in the back with a bunch of little boys. So