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1. My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.2. GROW YOUR OWN DOPE, PLANT A MAN.3. All Men Are Animals,

RelationshipsWhen a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and

A big-city California lawyer went duck hunting

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to

The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI,

1. Your dog rides in your truck more than your

Traditional Capitalism: You have two cows. You

A man had a bad case of stuttering. He went to

1. ââ,¬Å"If my heart were a baked potato,

Yo mama's so dirty, plants grow off her ass.

--That comment about Elton being "twice the woman"

1. Your salary is less than your tuition. 2. Your

1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The

1. Your name must be Daisy, because I have the

There once was this group of strange beings called

When I die, bury me deep. Plant some reefer,

A wealthy business man and his wife are looking

What do a cat, plant, and sea monkeys have in common?

* Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell

How do you give a blonde a brain transplant? Blow

Three drifters are roaming the countryside for

The LAPD, the FBI, & the CIA are all trying to

What if Data Ran Windows98? WORF: Captain, there

Is that your head or did someone plant a pumpkin

A man who was having heart trouble went to the

There was once a stockbroker who had made a ton

Did you hear about the guy who had a dick transplant?

One day a man was planting flowers outside his

There was a woman who was interested in getting

Why are so many blondes rushing out to get breast

In the beginning was the Plan. And then came

According to the latest issue of Nature Biotechnology,

Two guys were working for the city. One would

Canada, in view of recent events, will be changing

Once there were 3 little pigs who lived together

One friend was talking with another friend about

SON: What vegetable makes your eyes water?DAD:

Because Dave works hard at the plant and spends

You might be a redneck if you spit chewing tobacco

You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted

All-Purpose Excuse Form, designed to get you out

A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife:

1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer AMANA

A Denton, Texas man was arrested for filing a false

But Doctor, You HAVE To! In Turkey, Mehmet Esirgen, 52,

You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. Your

    A young man just got a new job

NICKNAMES If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose

There has been a recent discovery among archives

    For all you guys out there who

Jack tells his doctor how he can no longer sustain

When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend. When I was 16 I got a girlfriend,

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Wairarapa. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell

INFORMATION YOU NEED TO HELP YOU CHOOSE YOUR NEXT HEALTH PLAN .. Q. What does HMO stand for? A.

Entries in a Dog's Diary: 7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite! 8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite! 9

A Japanese company ( Toyota ) and an American company (General Motors decided to have a canoe race

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. Garden

A fifteen year-old boy came home with a new Chevrolet Avalanche and his parents began to yell and scream,

Two Irishmen, Patrick Murphy and Shawn O'Brian grew up together and were lifelong friends. But alas,

When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend. When I was 16 I got a girlfriend,

Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization? Answer: Princess Diana's death. Question:

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. 2. Having sex in a twin bed is out

welve priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row,

The AMA and NZMA has declared that the long term implications of drugs or medical procedures must

If your unfortunate enough to have to visit Yankee Country - like Boston (pronounced BAH-stin), this

An elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed his options with his doctor. The doctor

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow?

A British company is developing computer chips that store music in women's breast implants. This is

For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to live in California, here is a copy of the California

Ole vas vorking at da fish plant up nort in Dulut vhen he accidently cut off all ten off his fingers. He

Save all manner of bacon grease. If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let

Born 1903-Died 1942 Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was. ****************************** In

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: 1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is

From: Chief of Operations Subject: Proper Narrative Descriptions It has come to our attention from

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. 2. One tequila, two tequila, three

D A M N I T O L Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours. ST. M O

*Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal. *I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. *WANTED:

You Know You've Had Too Much Christmas Cheer When... 1. You notice your tie sticking out of your

WASHINGTON, DC (AP) - Congress approved sweeping legislation, which provides new benefits for many

Johnny was working at the fish plant in Carbonear when he accidentally cut off all ten of his fingers.

For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to live in California, here is a copy of the California

The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are

Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. Having sex in a twin bed is out

Modern medicine has come up with some great new stuff to make life easier ...: St. Mom's Wort ~

1 . Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. 2. Marriage changes

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. Gardening

Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids. Never take life seriously.

A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. "How

A golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital. Just before he was

- You only know three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup. - You design your Halloween costume to

These questions about Canada were posted on an international tourism website and obviously the answers

A fifteen year-old boy came home with a Porsche and his parents began to scream, "Where did you get

Add It Up: Relationship Guide For all you guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is:

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room where their family member lay gravely

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in South Louisiana. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into

A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes

A farmer purchases an old, run-down, abandoned farm with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise.

A man has a heart attack and is brought to the hospital ER. The doctor tells him that he will not live

A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything. The