plate

Last year, my friend upgraded his GirlFriend 3.1 to GirlFriendPlus1.0 (marketing name: Fiancee1.0). Recently

The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of

Nervous Taxi Driver A passenger in a taxi leaned

Yo mama so ghetto, she washes paper plates.

This week, the Bush administration finally released

The American Dairy Association was so successful

A man goes to Spain and attends a bullfight. Afterwards

A husband and wife, out enjoying a round of golf,

I hate aspects of this time of year. Not for its

The bumper sticker on your car reads: "What Would

A blonde was at home watching TV with her friends

A young priest is unhappy with how little money

A blonde and a brunette were opening their paychecks

There was a man named Joe playing baseball on his

What is the difference between a plate and a

1. A few fries short of a Happy Meal. 2. The

A young boy comes down to breakfast one morning.

A man went to England on a trip and met a woman

What did the man in the big yellow hat have to

If you make change in the offering plate, you might

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but

A hippie saunters into an urban Bar & Grill and

There was a cop on his horse waiting to cross the

A Canadian was in France, out of his wallet he

(Attention: This must be read with an Italian accent,

1. You wake up one morning to find you suddenly

A man was visiting Spain and passed by a restaurant

I'm currently running the latest version of GirlFriend

Yo mama's so fat, she needs license plates for

A blonde wanted to buy personalized license plates

An elderly husband and wife noticed that they were

The following are a sampling of REAL answers

Two Texans were having the blue plate special at

Breakfast: 1/2 grapefruit 1 slice whole wheat

One Sunday a pastor asked his congregation to consider

A few clowns short of a circus.Ã, Ã, 

A poor minister was having trouble managing his

People are always on the lookout for a new diet.

    For all you guys out there who

Katie Couric, Charlie Gibson, Brian Williams and a tough old US Marine Sergeant were captured by

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of the Granville Presbyterian

Yesterday I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. My blood pressure was high, my cholesterol

Last week my tie caught on fire. Some guy tried to put it out with an ax! I met the surgeon general.

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of a small Florida church found

A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. It's tough

A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the

It's out! Brand new edition of... "You know you're A redneck when......" 1. You take your dog for

1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired. 2. What's the definition of a will? (It's

Dear Dogs and Cats, The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes

An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bed. "Grandson I wanna you lisin

You might be a redneck if .... You've ever had Thanksgiving dinner on a Ping-Pong table. Thanksgiving

Save all manner of bacon grease. If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let

- Your sister's a real knock-out. Is one of you adopted? - For the longest time I lived with a

A couple in their nineties are BOTH having problems remembering things. They decide to go to the doctor

John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Georgia. After

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the finance committee refuses to provide funds for the

It's the only type of cooking a "real" man will do. When a man volunteers to do the 'BBQ' the following

Two cars were waiting at a stoplight. The light turned green, but the man didn't notice it. A woman

A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something. The driver screamed,

*A few clowns short of a circus *A few fries short of a Happy Meal *An experiment in Artificial Stupidity *A

A lawyer from New York was transferred to a small frontier town during the settlement of the West.

Every Sunday, a little old lady placed $1,000 in the collection plate. This went on for weeks until

Add It Up: Relationship Guide For all you guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is:

Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house. Everyone was seated

A local preacher was dissatisfied with the small amount in the collection plates each Sunday. Someone

A philosopher went into a closet for ten years to contemplate the question, What is life? When he came

Every Sunday, a little old lady placed $1,000 in the collection plate. This went on for weeks until

Ben and Haley had gotten up in years, and their memories weren't quite what they used to be. They

A ten-year-old boy was failing math. His parents tried everything from tutors to hypnosis, but to no

A resident in a seaside hotel breakfast room called over the head waiter one morning. "I