playing

Little Johnny greeted his mother at the door after she had been out of town all week and said, "Mommy,

Bob works hard and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym. His wife thinks he

A typical macho man married a typical good-looking lady.After the wedding, he laid down the following

Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example

Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in O'Leary's apartment when Paddy Murphy loses $500 on a single

A Texas business man, while in Japan for some business meetings and a few rounds of golf, arrived in

Little John was playing with his airplane in the back yard and his mother was in the kitchen washing

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and

A sad man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks

Here are the top nine comments made by sports commentators

Here's a dilemma... With all your honor and dignity,

George W. Bush is visiting a primary school and

Here's a dilemma for you... With all your honor

Three Texas plastic surgeons were playing golf

Three Texas plastic surgeons were playing golf

Q: Why did the mouse go to the party?

Why did the zombie baby cross the road? He was

A Vicar and his friend, Colin were playing golf.

A blonde began a job as an elementary school counselor

A young mother was having a consultation with a

Why was Harry Potter kicked out of Hogwarts? He

It's legal to earn money playing hockey Many people

If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company,

Two guys were working at a sawmill one day when

Mary Lou, the blonde, was out playing in the garden

3 men are playing golf at a Country Club: Obi Wan

In this world God made Eve first and one day he

A hack golfer spends a day at a plush country club,

A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get

The way this game works is every time the word

Little Johnny was playing with his father's wallet

These are excuse notes from parents (with their

10) You married your cousin's brother's wife 9)

One day a blonde and a redhead were playing together

A young boy was visiting his grandfather's farm

Bob just moved from New York City to Alabama. He

God, Jesus and John the Baptist are playing golf

A young man is wandering around the zoo looking

A traveling salesman approached an old farmhouse

The St. Louis Symphony was playing Beethoven's

All good Southerners already know these, but in

Jesus and Moses are playing golf and they''re on

* Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people

A little girl was failing math. Her mother enrolled

THINGY (thing-ee) n. For a female: Any part under

There was a man named Joe playing baseball on his

Two guys are playing golf. The first guy says,

Johnny was playing outside when he really had to

A pilot was forced to make a crash landing in a

There was an old man named Bill, and one of the

A woman was in bed having sex with her husband's

A little boy was in his room playing with himself,

A boy was playing with himself in the bathtub when

Two lawyers, Jon and Amanpreet, head out for their

A guy sees a sign outside a bar that says "Piano

A reverend was walking in a big city park, when

(which in our society means over 25) An older

A married man was having an affair with his secretary.

10. I think of you as a brother. Translation: You

Q: How do you know that a blonde has been playing

* You wonder why singers Sting, Wolf Blitzer, and

A man goes into a psychiatric hospital to visit

Q: What is the only instrument the Backstreet Boys

A couple was getting ready to go to a Halloween

1. The only place in North America to get bombed

A priest wanted to convince a prostitute to turn

One day four boys were playing soccer in the schoolyard.

One sunny Saturday morning, the first of a twosome

* Take shopping carts for the express purpose of

Just as mom walks though the door, little Jonny

Little Johnny was in the kitchen playing with his

The three remaining members of Pink Floyd get in

Two golfers meet on the same golf course, on the

A typical macho man married typical good-looking

A travelling salesman was out in the country one

A young boy took his bag of M&M's, grabbed the

One day there were two boys playing by a stream

What do women's breasts and toy cars have in common?

A little boy walks in on his parents having sex

There was a chicken and a horse playing together

There are two blondes playing golf. One tees off

10. Likes people that oppress him: teachers, parents,

A little boy was playing in his sandbox when the

Little Tommy runs into the bathroom one day to

* It can be up or down. It's more fun when it's

In prison you spend the majority of your time in

As he is quietly watching television at home, a

One day little Bill was playing in the sand out

1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment

Because Dave works hard at the plant and spends

1. The mouse is referred to as a "critter."

Two couples were playing cards.  John accidentally

Little Johnny, on a day when he was being particularly

A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. 

When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first

A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow.

A little boy is playing with his new football and

Did you hear? Bill Clinton stopped playing the

    'Twas the night before Christmas

    For all you guys out there who

Two boys are playing football in Central Park when

September 15     

December 14, 1972 My dearest darling John:

Find out what those dating terms really mean ATTRACTION..... the act of associating horniness with

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul

A couple got married and, following the wedding, the husband laid down some rules. "I'll be home when

Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other

In the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who wanted more than anything to be the greatest

A very traditional elderly woman was enjoying a good game of bridge with her girlfriends one evening.

Two couples were playing poker one evening. Jim accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When

This husband and wife were playing on the ninth green when she collapsed from a heart attack. "Please

Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods are in a bar. Woods turns to Wonder and says: How is the singing career

Entries in a Dog's Diary: 7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite! 8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite! 9

---My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be. ---

A woman pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a masked robber ran out of a bank

One day while Little Johnny and his freind Arnie were playing out in the back yard,they started talking

1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play - normally one club and two balls. 2. Play

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed

At a college with a shady reputation, the new dean responded to investigations into the basketball

New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people

A father believed that his son was spending way too much time playing computer games. In an effort

One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches

No matter what you do or where you go, you're always going to be yourself. And Panexa knows this. Your

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: 1 October 2005 RE: Christmas

Steve complained to his friend Al that lovemaking with his wife was becoming routine and boring. "Get

A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched with horror as her ball headed directly towards

Tired of being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decides to solve both problems

In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft;

From: Chief of Operations Subject: Proper Narrative Descriptions It has come to our attention from

Bill and Hillary are at the Yankee's World Series Game 6; sitting in the first row, with the Secret

Six retired Floridians were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Meyerwitz loses $500 on a single

To the citizens of the United States of America: In the light of your failure to elect a competent

A Man And A Young Beautiful Woman Are Engaging In A "Romantic Affair" In The Lovely Young Womans Bedroom.

Any woman can have the body of a 21-year-old, as long as she buys him a few drinks first. My memory's

One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of

The veterinarian told the blonde that her dog needed some exercise. "You need to make sure this dog

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." Woody

I know you have an interest in poker - here's a twist. Two couples were playing cards one evening.

A little boy was playing with a worm one day at his grandpa's house. Grandpa jokingly tells the young

THINGY (thing-ee) n. female: Any part under a car's hood. male: The strap fastener on a woman's

Here's why . According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 40's,

Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad. Canadians: Are rather indignant about

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed

Played a round of golf with the local course pro for some helpful tips. After playing the first

I promise you cannot read these and not laugh out loud! These are real notes written from parents

1. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever! Unless you actually

A golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital. Just before he was

A nun was going to Chicago. She went to the airport and sat down waiting for her flight. She looked

After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for a younger woman. The house was in his name

IN PRISON...You spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell. AT WORK....You spend most of your

Two blondes were playing golf at a foggy par three, and could see the flag, but not the green. Each

Morris complained to his friend Irving, that love making with his wife was becoming routine and boring. "Get

Little Johnny walked into the kitchen, saw his mother making a cake and announced, "I'll be playing

OK, I'm the only female in a house full of guys. 4 sons and a hubby. Toilet seat is never down...etc. SOOOOoooooooooo

A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her 5 year old son playing with his new electric train

A little boy and a little girl are playing. The little boy pulls down his shorts and says, "*I* have

Add It Up: Relationship Guide For all you guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is:

The Scene: The Pearly Gates to Heaven. St Peter is receptionist at the entrance. - A cat shows up.

A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son's house. She rang the doorbell and walked

An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman are all playing golf with their wives. The Englishman's wife

When Uncle Charlie died of old age, Bill was bequeathed his uncle's prized Amazon parrot. This parrot

Guy in a bar playing pool has a pet monkey. Monkey jumps onto the table, grabs the cue ball and stuffs

You met him in prison. During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway. He tells you

Bob and his three golf buddies were out playing and were just starting on the back nine when Bob paused,

ATTRACTION - the act of associating horniness with a particular person. LOVE AT 1st SIGHT - what

President George W. Bush is visiting an elementary school today and he visits one of the 4th

An old man was in bed with his wife when suddenly he let out a loud fart. He yelled, "7 points!" His

A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls

A cat shows up at the Pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter says, "I know you! You were a very nice

Donald MacDonald from the Isle of Mann went to study at an English university and was living in the

A fellow picked up a girl in a bar and took her home with him. After some preliminary drinks and talk,

A few days after Christmas, a mother working in the kitchen, was listening to her son play with his

David received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse

There were three men playing a round of golf, Moses, Jesus, and an old man. They get to the 18th