Jokes
Jokes about credit crunch 2008
- How do you define optimism? - A banker who irons five shirts on a Sunday. - What is the diffrence
RENT FOR APARTMENT
A business man met a beautiful girl and asked her to spend the night with him for $500. And she did.Before
Car Joke
AUDI:Another Ugly Deutsche InventionBMW:Bought My WifeBrings Me WomenBrings More Women butBroke My WalletCHEVROLET:Can
Free Sex
The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late
5 For A Dollar
A woman walks into a drug store to buy tampons. She notices a group of tampons stacked on a table in
Competition
A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected
A cannibal was walking through the jungle
A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came
The Perfect Husband
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.
Don't Choke
Two cowboys walk into a roadhouse to wash the trail
Bill Gates Buys Some Lovin'
Bill Gates meets Hugh Grant at a Hollywood party.
Don''t Say a Word
Eddie went shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally
The Christmas Elf Massacre
Buy me a beer if you want the story told Of why
Nursing Home Chit Chat
At a nursing home in Florida, a group of senior
Afghani TV Guide
MONDAY 8:00 - "Husseinfeld" 8:30 - "Mad About Everything" 9:00
Tech Glossary
486: The average IQ needed to understand a PC.
Learn to speak Chinese
Are you harboring a fugitive- Hu Yu Hai Ding See
Hit Television Shows in Iraq...
"Husseinfeld" "Mad About Everything" "U.S. Military
Fun Things to Do at a Drive-Thru
1. Drive through the drive-thru in reverse and
25 Fun Pool Activities
1) Stand on top of the high board and say you won't
26 Things the Movies Taught You...
1) Large, loft-style apartments in New York City
Wrong Kind Of Collection
A young priest is unhappy with how little money
Sticker Shock
Back in the day, when they stamped each can in
Bill Gates and General Motors
Bill Gates is hanging out with the chairman of
Forever Plaid
The proprietor of an adult store steps out to run
Seafood
A man walks into a whorehouse and hands the madam
A Nun and Her Donkey
A nun wanted to enter a racehorse into a race.
Bishop And The Ass
A preacher wanted to raise money for his church
Two Drunks
One night two drunks were wandering the town trying
Rent
A man decided to spend the night with a prostitute.
The Clintons and the $50 Hooker
Bill Clinton is out jogging around in some of
Cows In Government
FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes
50 Things to Do in a Mall
1. Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out
Things That Make You Say Damn!
10) When people go the speed limit in the fast
Monkey Programmers
A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking
Obnoxious Pool Fun
*Stand on top of the high board and say you won't
Genie Can't Deliver
There was a guy walking down the street in San
Signs You've Had Enough of the New Millenium
1) You try to enter your password on the microwave.
Some Examples of Murphy's Law
Murphy's Law: Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.
What A Smart Gorilla
A gorilla walks into a bar. The bartender comes
Bird and Bloke
Bloke: Would you shag me for a million pounds? Bird:
If _____ Made Toasters
If Oracle made toasters... They'd claim their
Yo Mama's Psychic Friends
Yo' mama so dumb, that the Psychic Friends only
Christmas in West Virginia
Twas the Night before Christmas, and all through
All-Purpose Excuse Form Letter
All-Purpose Excuse Form, designed to get you out
What Happens to IRS Cheats After Death
One day, a man named Tony died.
The Talented Parrot
This guy is not getting along so well with his
Rumored Corporate Mergers
It has long been rumored that W. R. Grace Co. was
Paying the Price of Marriage
William and Mildred were married
MasterCard For Men
Cover charge: $15.00 Round of drinks:
Wal-Mart vs. Heaven
I consider Wal-Mart to be God's gift to shoppers.Ã,Â
Random Acts of Stupidity Roundup
Curators at India's Baroda Museum
Contraceptives '98
Microsoft's Latest Venture
WINDERS 98
MICROSOFT NEWS RELEASE: It has come to our attention
Hit TV Shows in Iraq
"Husseinfeld" "Mad About Everything" "U.S. Military
Why did the chicken cross the road?
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken
Facts of Life
1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for
Fifty One Years of Math 1957 - 2008
1. Teaching Math In 1950s A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production
Modern Proverbs
a.. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. b.. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian
Rent for Apartment
A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500. They did their
If Airlines Sold Paint
Customer: Hi. How much is your paint? Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things. Customer:
A History of Teaching Math
Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of
What a Woman Really Wants
King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could
Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with
The Lexus
A lady walked into a Lexus dealership just to browse. Suddenly, she spotted the most beautiful car
Divorced Barbie
A Lady goes to Toys R Us to buy a Barbie doll. She tells the clerk that she needs to buy a Barbie
Three Things Are Inevitable...
The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late
Southern California Math Test
REVISED HIGH SCHOOL MATH PROFICIENCY EXAM FOR SO. CAL. NAME______________________________ GANG
A Word About Investing
If you had bought $1,000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago it would now be worth $49.00. With Enron,
The Medal Of Freedom
WASHINGTON, D.C. - A white house source stated that Congress is considering awarding Vice-President
Cannibal's Restaurant
Three explorers became lost in the jungle and wandered for days with no food and little water... One
The True Origin of the Internet
In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself
Dear Husband
Dear Husband: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been
Teaching Math
Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5
If Airlines Sold Paint . . .
Customer: Hi. How much is your paint? Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things. Customer:
Wrong Choice
The couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks. He wanted a new truck. She wanted
Murder at The Safeway
Tired of being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decides to solve both problems
George Carlin's Philosophy Class
1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. 2. One tequila, two tequila, three
Headlines 2029 AD
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia formally
The Barber
A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded,
Healthy Proverbs
1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for
Defective Parrot
A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet
Jewelry Store
A white-haired old man walked into a jewelry store on a Friday, with a beautiful young lady at his
Hollywood Squares
If you recall the old Hollywood Squares show, this will bring a tear to your eyes. They are worth
Iraq TV Guide
SUNDAY: 0800 - My 33 Sons 0830 - Osama Knows Best 0900 - I Dream of Mohammed 0930 - Let's
Fixing The Pearly Gates
3 contractors are in a bar after work enjoying a cold one, when a truck crashes into the bar killing
Contraceptive98
News just in of Microsoft's latest venture: Microsoft Corporation has taken another step toward dominating
Lawyer and a Brothel
The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his
Getting Old
At a nursing home a group of seniors were sitting around talking about all their ailments. "My arms
Weighing a Pig
A man decides he wants to have a pig roast, so he goes out to a pig farm to buy one. He agrees on
Job Assignment
Take the prospective employees you are trying to place and put them in a room with only a table and
Turkey Loaf
A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate what I do
Revenge of the Blondes
WHAT'S BLACK AND BLUE AND BROWN AND LAYING IN A DITCH? A brunette who's told too many blonde jokes. WHAT
She's SOOOO blonde...
..she sent me a fax with a stamp on it ...she thought a quarterback was a refund ...she tried to
Brain Transplant
In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room where their family member lay gravely
Cab Driver
A gorgeous young woman gets into a taxi one day. On the way, the cabby asks her, "Hey baby, would
3 Honeymoon Nights
Three sisters decided to get married on the same day to save their parents the expense of separate
Lucky Frog
A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices
Don't Speak
Steve is shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally finds one for a great price, but it's missing a
Cannibal Restaurant
A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant opened by a fellow cannibal. Feeling
The Parrot from a Whorehouse
A woman wanted a pet so she went to the local pet shop. She looked at the dogs and the cats but finally
Wisdom Teeth Removal
One day, a man walks into a dentist's office and asks how much it will cost to extract wisdom teeth. "Eighty
Supermarket Embarrasment
A lady was picking up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she
Alligator Shoes
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes