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Jokes

Jokes about credit crunch 2008

- How do you define optimism? - A banker who irons five shirts on a Sunday. - What is the diffrence

RENT FOR APARTMENT

A business man met a beautiful girl and asked her to spend the night with him for $500. And she did.Before

Car Joke

AUDI:Another Ugly Deutsche InventionBMW:Bought My WifeBrings Me WomenBrings More Women butBroke My WalletCHEVROLET:Can

Free Sex

The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late

5 For A Dollar

A woman walks into a drug store to buy tampons. She notices a group of tampons stacked on a table in

Competition

A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected

A cannibal was walking through the jungle

A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came

The Perfect Husband

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.

Don't Choke

Two cowboys walk into a roadhouse to wash the trail

Bill Gates Buys Some Lovin'

Bill Gates meets Hugh Grant at a Hollywood party.

Don''t Say a Word

Eddie went shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally

The Christmas Elf Massacre

Buy me a beer if you want the story told Of why

Nursing Home Chit Chat

At a nursing home in Florida, a group of senior

Afghani TV Guide

MONDAY 8:00 - "Husseinfeld" 8:30 - "Mad About Everything" 9:00

Tech Glossary

486: The average IQ needed to understand a PC.

Learn to speak Chinese

Are you harboring a fugitive- Hu Yu Hai Ding See

Hit Television Shows in Iraq...

"Husseinfeld" "Mad About Everything" "U.S. Military

Fun Things to Do at a Drive-Thru

1. Drive through the drive-thru in reverse and

25 Fun Pool Activities

1) Stand on top of the high board and say you won't

26 Things the Movies Taught You...

1) Large, loft-style apartments in New York City

Wrong Kind Of Collection

A young priest is unhappy with how little money

Sticker Shock

Back in the day, when they stamped each can in

Bill Gates and General Motors

Bill Gates is hanging out with the chairman of

Forever Plaid

The proprietor of an adult store steps out to run

Seafood

A man walks into a whorehouse and hands the madam

A Nun and Her Donkey

A nun wanted to enter a racehorse into a race.

Bishop And The Ass

A preacher wanted to raise money for his church

Two Drunks

One night two drunks were wandering the town trying

Rent

A man decided to spend the night with a prostitute.

The Clintons and the $50 Hooker

Bill Clinton is out jogging around in some of

Cows In Government

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes

50 Things to Do in a Mall

1. Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out

Things That Make You Say Damn!

10) When people go the speed limit in the fast

Monkey Programmers

A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking

Obnoxious Pool Fun

*Stand on top of the high board and say you won't

Genie Can't Deliver

There was a guy walking down the street in San

Signs You've Had Enough of the New Millenium

1) You try to enter your password on the microwave.

Some Examples of Murphy's Law

Murphy's Law: Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.

What A Smart Gorilla

A gorilla walks into a bar. The bartender comes

Bird and Bloke

Bloke: Would you shag me for a million pounds? Bird:

If _____ Made Toasters

If Oracle made toasters... They'd claim their

Yo Mama's Psychic Friends

Yo' mama so dumb, that the Psychic Friends only

Christmas in West Virginia

Twas the Night before Christmas, and all through

All-Purpose Excuse Form Letter

All-Purpose Excuse Form, designed to get you out

What Happens to IRS Cheats After Death

    One day, a man named Tony died.  

The Talented Parrot

This guy is not getting along so well with his

Rumored Corporate Mergers

It has long been rumored that W. R. Grace Co. was

Paying the Price of Marriage

    William and Mildred were married

MasterCard For Men

Cover charge:  $15.00 Round of drinks: 

Wal-Mart vs. Heaven

I consider Wal-Mart to be God's gift to shoppers.Ã, 

Random Acts of Stupidity Roundup

    Curators at India's Baroda Museum

Contraceptives '98

Microsoft's Latest Venture    

WINDERS 98

MICROSOFT NEWS RELEASE: It has come to our attention

Hit TV Shows in Iraq

"Husseinfeld" "Mad About Everything" "U.S. Military

Why did the chicken cross the road?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken

Facts of Life

1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for

Fifty One Years of Math 1957 - 2008

1. Teaching Math In 1950s A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production

Modern Proverbs

a.. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. b.. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian

Rent for Apartment

A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500. They did their

If Airlines Sold Paint

Customer: Hi. How much is your paint? Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things. Customer:

A History of Teaching Math

Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of

What a Woman Really Wants

King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could

Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with

The Lexus

A lady walked into a Lexus dealership just to browse. Suddenly, she spotted the most beautiful car

Divorced Barbie

A Lady goes to Toys R Us to buy a Barbie doll. She tells the clerk that she needs to buy a Barbie

Three Things Are Inevitable...

The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late

Southern California Math Test

REVISED HIGH SCHOOL MATH PROFICIENCY EXAM FOR SO. CAL. NAME______________________________ GANG

A Word About Investing

If you had bought $1,000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago it would now be worth $49.00. With Enron,

The Medal Of Freedom

WASHINGTON, D.C. - A white house source stated that Congress is considering awarding Vice-President

Cannibal's Restaurant

Three explorers became lost in the jungle and wandered for days with no food and little water... One

The True Origin of the Internet

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself

Dear Husband

Dear Husband: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been

Teaching Math

Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5

If Airlines Sold Paint . . .

Customer: Hi. How much is your paint? Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things. Customer:

Wrong Choice

The couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks. He wanted a new truck. She wanted

Murder at The Safeway

Tired of being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decides to solve both problems

George Carlin's Philosophy Class

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. 2. One tequila, two tequila, three

Headlines 2029 AD

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia formally

The Barber

A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded,

Healthy Proverbs

1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for

Defective Parrot

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet

Jewelry Store

A white-haired old man walked into a jewelry store on a Friday, with a beautiful young lady at his

Hollywood Squares

If you recall the old Hollywood Squares show, this will bring a tear to your eyes. They are worth

Iraq TV Guide

SUNDAY: 0800 - My 33 Sons 0830 - Osama Knows Best 0900 - I Dream of Mohammed 0930 - Let's

Fixing The Pearly Gates

3 contractors are in a bar after work enjoying a cold one, when a truck crashes into the bar killing

Contraceptive98

News just in of Microsoft's latest venture: Microsoft Corporation has taken another step toward dominating

Lawyer and a Brothel

The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his

Getting Old

At a nursing home a group of seniors were sitting around talking about all their ailments. "My arms

Weighing a Pig

A man decides he wants to have a pig roast, so he goes out to a pig farm to buy one. He agrees on

Job Assignment

Take the prospective employees you are trying to place and put them in a room with only a table and

Turkey Loaf

A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate what I do

Revenge of the Blondes

WHAT'S BLACK AND BLUE AND BROWN AND LAYING IN A DITCH? A brunette who's told too many blonde jokes. WHAT

She's SOOOO blonde...

..she sent me a fax with a stamp on it ...she thought a quarterback was a refund ...she tried to

Brain Transplant

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room where their family member lay gravely

Cab Driver

A gorgeous young woman gets into a taxi one day. On the way, the cabby asks her, "Hey baby, would

3 Honeymoon Nights

Three sisters decided to get married on the same day to save their parents the expense of separate

Lucky Frog

A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices

Don't Speak

Steve is shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally finds one for a great price, but it's missing a

Cannibal Restaurant

A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant opened by a fellow cannibal. Feeling

The Parrot from a Whorehouse

A woman wanted a pet so she went to the local pet shop. She looked at the dogs and the cats but finally

Wisdom Teeth Removal

One day, a man walks into a dentist's office and asks how much it will cost to extract wisdom teeth. "Eighty

Supermarket Embarrasment

A lady was picking up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she

Alligator Shoes

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes