Jokes
Stupid warnings
Warning on a curling iron: Do Not Insert Curling Iron Into Any Bodily Orifice... My bathroom has inadequate
Tai-Chi King
In a company there's this tai-chi king. His tai-chi has reached the level where even the boss could do
Zoltrog Jokes
1. How many trarlokks does it take to trokkclap
Remember Ball-Zak
I just want to call attention to the fact that
Words Of Wisdom, Graduates!
FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS, CLASS OF 2003! First of all
Lost with Translation
The American Dairy Association was so successful
Redneck Engineering Exam
1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon
Capitalism for Dummies
Traditional Capitalism: You have two cows. You
I Think Santa Claus Is A Woman...
I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I
Santa Claus is a Woman
I think Santa Claus is a woman... I hate to be
Special High Intensity Teaching
In order to assure the highest levels of quality
Logic Prevails
A man had a habit of buying things immediately
Cock O' The Walk
A farmer rears 25 young hens and one old cock.
A Very Special Dictionary
THINGY (thing-ee) n. For a female: Any part under
Slippery Doorknob
A market researcher called at a house and his knock
Work Policies
In order to assure the highest levels of quality
Girlfriend 1.0 -> Wife 1.0
MEMORANDUM RE: Computer Software Warning Last
Top 10 Reasons To Live In Newfoundland
1. The poorest, stupidest, drunkest province in
Things You Don't Want to Hear in the Airport
10.) ''We have a lost child at gate D-4, the bidding
Ten Husbands, Still a Virgin
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced
Some Examples of Murphy's Law
Murphy's Law: Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.
Multi-Balls
Once an abnormal guy went to a doctor. His abnormality
Baby Gates and Microsoft
For the first time in, oh, a decade, I think, something
A Letter To Tide
Dear Tide, I have always used your product
You Can't Stop The Voodoo
A businessman was about to go on a long business
Clinton's sons
Chelsea had the most exciting news. She burst
Latex Gloves
A dentist is talking to his patient about the sanitary
True Newspaper Clippings
1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer AMANA
Rumored Corporate Mergers
It has long been rumored that W. R. Grace Co. was
Actual Instruction Labels...
ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE: Warning keep out
Contraceptives '98
Microsoft's Latest Venture
Latex Factory
A guy is going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex products. At the first stop, he
Fifty One Years of Math 1957 - 2008
1. Teaching Math In 1950s A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production
Man + Woman
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb
Three Envelopes
A new manager spends a week at his new office with the manager he is replacing. On the last day
A History of Teaching Math
Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of
Cosmetics
Luke's wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger. After
Corporate America
Old tribal wisdom says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to
Salesmanship
The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was
Classic Questions About Australia
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow?
All That Good Info
Pretty soon, I won't be able to do anything except sit in my chair and read! I must send my thanks
Ten Husbands
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.On their wedding night, she told
Laws of the Natural Universe
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch
Panexa
No matter what you do or where you go, you're always going to be yourself. And Panexa knows this. Your
History Lesson
History began some 12,000 years ago.(Actually, it was 40,000 years ago.) Humans existed as members
Teaching Math
Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5
Fun Staff Meeting
The boss of a Madison Avenue advertising agency called a spontaneous staff meeting in the middle of
Computer Quotes
"Remember, never ask a geek "why"; just nod your head and back away slowly... " Dan Wineman Memory
Santa is a Woman
I think Santa Claus is a woman .... I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's
Definitions By Gender
THINGY (thing-ee) n. female: Any part under a car's hood. male: The strap fastener on a woman's
Official Announcement
Official Announcement: The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle
Gender
You may not know that many nonliving things have a gender. For example... 1) Ziploc Bags- They
Shipping Manure
Historical information you need to know about shipping Manure: In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything
Wackiest Warning Labels Ever
Warning on a bottle of drain cleaner: "If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions,
Petroleum Jelly
One day while doing door-to-door market research, this guy knocks on a door and is greeted by a beautiful
Yankee Test
We are sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people in the South are. We challenge any so-called
Virus Warning: Missus
Description Missus manifests as a female humanoid providing cooking/cleaning features, and a sitting-room/TV
Contraceptive98
News just in of Microsoft's latest venture: Microsoft Corporation has taken another step toward dominating
Canadian Tourism Website
These questions about Canada were posted on an international tourism website and obviously the answers
Microsoft's New Tv Dinner Product
INSTRUCTIONS FOR MICROSOFT'S NEW TV DINNER PRODUCT: You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing
Label Instructions
In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual
French Mustard
The makers of French's Mustard made the following recent statement: "We at the French's Company
Boys will be Boys
OK, I'm the only female in a house full of guys. 4 sons and a hubby. Toilet seat is never down...etc. SOOOOoooooooooo
How Old Am I?
Some people grow old gracefully, while others fight and scratch the whole way. Andy's wife, refusing
The Fisherman
The American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with
Lethal Product
A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is
Avon Calling
An Avon Lady was delivering products in a high-rise and was riding in the elevator. Suddenly, she had
Kilts
A Scotsman was out having a very good time on Saturday night sampling the local product and on the
Where do I Come from?
"Daddy, where did I come from?" the seven-year-old asked. It was a moment for which her parents