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Jokes

Stupid warnings

Warning on a curling iron: Do Not Insert Curling Iron Into Any Bodily Orifice... My bathroom has inadequate

Tai-Chi King

In a company there's this tai-chi king. His tai-chi has reached the level where even the boss could do

Zoltrog Jokes

1. How many trarlokks does it take to trokkclap

Remember Ball-Zak

I just want to call attention to the fact that

Words Of Wisdom, Graduates!

FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS, CLASS OF 2003! First of all

Lost with Translation

The American Dairy Association was so successful

Redneck Engineering Exam

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon

Capitalism for Dummies

Traditional Capitalism: You have two cows. You

I Think Santa Claus Is A Woman...

I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I

Santa Claus is a Woman

I think Santa Claus is a woman... I hate to be

Special High Intensity Teaching

In order to assure the highest levels of quality

Logic Prevails

A man had a habit of buying things immediately

Cock O' The Walk

A farmer rears 25 young hens and one old cock.

A Very Special Dictionary

THINGY (thing-ee) n. For a female: Any part under

Slippery Doorknob

A market researcher called at a house and his knock

Work Policies

In order to assure the highest levels of quality

Girlfriend 1.0 -> Wife 1.0

MEMORANDUM RE: Computer Software Warning Last

Top 10 Reasons To Live In Newfoundland

1. The poorest, stupidest, drunkest province in

Things You Don't Want to Hear in the Airport

10.) ''We have a lost child at gate D-4, the bidding

Ten Husbands, Still a Virgin

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced

Some Examples of Murphy's Law

Murphy's Law: Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.

Multi-Balls

Once an abnormal guy went to a doctor. His abnormality

Baby Gates and Microsoft

For the first time in, oh, a decade, I think, something

A Letter To Tide

Dear Tide, I have always used your product

You Can't Stop The Voodoo

A businessman was about to go on a long business

Clinton's sons

Chelsea had the most exciting news. She burst

Latex Gloves

A dentist is talking to his patient about the sanitary

True Newspaper Clippings

1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer AMANA

Rumored Corporate Mergers

It has long been rumored that W. R. Grace Co. was

Actual Instruction Labels...

ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE: Warning keep out

Contraceptives '98

Microsoft's Latest Venture    

Latex Factory

A guy is going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex products. At the first stop, he

Fifty One Years of Math 1957 - 2008

1. Teaching Math In 1950s A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production

Man + Woman

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb

Three Envelopes

A new manager spends a week at his new office with the manager he is replacing. On the last day

A History of Teaching Math

Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of

Cosmetics

Luke's wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger. After

Corporate America

Old tribal wisdom says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to

Salesmanship

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was

Classic Questions About Australia

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow?

All That Good Info

Pretty soon, I won't be able to do anything except sit in my chair and read! I must send my thanks

Ten Husbands

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.On their wedding night, she told

Laws of the Natural Universe

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch

Panexa

No matter what you do or where you go, you're always going to be yourself. And Panexa knows this. Your

History Lesson

History began some 12,000 years ago.(Actually, it was 40,000 years ago.) Humans existed as members

Teaching Math

Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5

Fun Staff Meeting

The boss of a Madison Avenue advertising agency called a spontaneous staff meeting in the middle of

Computer Quotes

"Remember, never ask a geek "why"; just nod your head and back away slowly... " Dan Wineman Memory

Santa is a Woman

I think Santa Claus is a woman .... I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's

Definitions By Gender

THINGY (thing-ee) n. female: Any part under a car's hood. male: The strap fastener on a woman's

Official Announcement

Official Announcement: The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle

Gender

You may not know that many nonliving things have a gender. For example... 1) Ziploc Bags- They

Shipping Manure

Historical information you need to know about shipping Manure: In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything

Wackiest Warning Labels Ever

Warning on a bottle of drain cleaner: "If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions,

Petroleum Jelly

One day while doing door-to-door market research, this guy knocks on a door and is greeted by a beautiful

Yankee Test

We are sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people in the South are. We challenge any so-called

Virus Warning: Missus

Description Missus manifests as a female humanoid providing cooking/cleaning features, and a sitting-room/TV

Contraceptive98

News just in of Microsoft's latest venture: Microsoft Corporation has taken another step toward dominating

Canadian Tourism Website

These questions about Canada were posted on an international tourism website and obviously the answers

Microsoft's New Tv Dinner Product

INSTRUCTIONS FOR MICROSOFT'S NEW TV DINNER PRODUCT: You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing

Label Instructions

In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual

French Mustard

The makers of French's Mustard made the following recent statement: "We at the French's Company

Boys will be Boys

OK, I'm the only female in a house full of guys. 4 sons and a hubby. Toilet seat is never down...etc. SOOOOoooooooooo

How Old Am I?

Some people grow old gracefully, while others fight and scratch the whole way. Andy's wife, refusing

The Fisherman

The American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with

Lethal Product

A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is

Avon Calling

An Avon Lady was delivering products in a high-rise and was riding in the elevator. Suddenly, she had

Kilts

A Scotsman was out having a very good time on Saturday night sampling the local product and on the

Where do I Come from?

"Daddy, where did I come from?" the seven-year-old asked. It was a moment for which her parents